Friends, Humor, Life

Why I Hate Bruce Jenner

Remember the days when the most shocking thing was that Bruce Jenner was now Caitlyn Jenner?
I. Miss. Those. Days. 
Also, running didn’t make me cry or fight with friends (which you will read about) but rather hormones and the possible beginning of my menopause.
After reading this, I realize I am such a different person than I was in 2012; a less angry version of myself. Which is so refreshing to see as I am in the thick of menopause and hormonal loss.
Seeing this growth is why I am so happy I am resharing old posts.
This also ties in with this upcoming Monday’s post. Stay tuned. 😉 

First published June 25, 2012

Growing up, I had three Olympic idols: Dorothy Hamill (I even got her famous haircut when I was in first grade), Nadia Comaneci (I had the album with “her” song on it, once tried to do “her” flips in my bedroom to “her” music, hit my head on my canopy bed rail and there went my gymnastics career), and Bruce Jenner (he just looked really good in a pair of shorts.)

Since March, as many of you know, I’ve been running. Well, jogging with the hopes of it someday becoming running.
It’s really comical on paper but in life, not at all.

At the end of March, I decided that I wanted to start running to help me maintain my weight but also try to push myself. Walking doesn’t really cut it for me, I needed a quicker way to exercise as my time is limited with kids and my husband’s hours. Plus I kind of hate the gym and I am not motivated enough to do exercise tapes at home. I tried that and I almost strangled Leslie Sansone through the television. Long story.

So I researched the Couch to 5k method. Basically going from a couch potato to a marathon runner in 9 weeks.  Then I went to my doctor because I’d been diagnosed as a teen with exercise-induced asthma and also had a knee condition known as Osgood Schlatter’s disease since 8th grade, so I wanted to make sure it was safe for me to even run in the first place. Basically, I was/is/am a hot steaming mess.

Because of the two above diagnoses, I was almost terrified to ever run…..even for my life.

But the doctor gave me the go-ahead and off I went. I should first state that I started running with my friends Rebecca and Christine. This will become important to the story I am trying to tell.

 

During week one I felt really good about it because, in the beginning,  you are only running for 1 minute, walking for 1 minute and so on for a total of 20 minutes. But still, for someone who never ran, it was quite exciting to be running at all.

First obstacle blisters. Badass blisters. I did everything from putting blister wax on them to packing them with bandages so thick you would have thought I had just had heel surgery. Then after about a week and a half, my feet stopped hating my new running shoes and I thought, YES! the first hurdle accomplished! Look at me running like Bruce Jenner!!

Or Betty White.
Yes.
More like Betty White than Bruce Jenner.

Then somewhere between weeks one and two, my knee started hurting. Really bad. Like my knee cap had fallen off.

Off to the doctor again.

Diagnosis- bursitis.

I got some anti-inflammatory drugs and was told to ice it after I run then do these special knee exercises before I run. They told me that I am “training my knees” now and that if they don’t get better after a few weeks, to stop running altogether. But I was told, I could still run in the process of finding out if I can run or not.

Are you keeping up so far?

I took the anti-inflammatory drugs for a week, got the worst migraine of my life and couldn’t take my typical Advil/migraine meds mix because of said anti-inflammatory. So I stopped taking the anti-inflammatory.

But my knee got better with the mix of running, exercises and icing them before and after.

In the midst of this, my friend Christine and I had a fight and I blame running. Running and friendship don’t mix.
It makes you angry, hungry and hormonal. If you plan to run with a friend, rethink it altogether.
Run with an enemy.
My neighbor recently asked to run with me and I leveled with her:

I really like you and so I am going to just say no.

So I kept on going heading into week five without Christine but still with Rebecca. That is when my chest started hurting. First thought? I am having a heart attack/stroke. So I went to the doctor yet again.

By the way, I usually go to the doctor probably three times a year. So to set you straight, this is my third doctor visit in five weeks.

They listened to my heart, my chest, gave me a breathalyzer test of some sort.

Diagnosis?

My exercise-induced asthma is back.

2020 note- I was informed by an allergist in 2014 that I don’t actually have asthma and that exercise-induced asthma isn’t really asthma. They did tests etc.. and found that it was most likely allergies that were making me breathe in that manner and since I was running outside in spring, that is why I was struggling. Also, anxiety. I had anxiety about asthma I was diagnosed with (that I didn’t have) which mimicked asthma symptoms. I need to write a book. Oh wait, I guess I already kind of am. 

They gave me an inhaler, told me that I can’t run when it is really hot or really cold and that since at this point we were in the middle of spring allergy season, that I should run really early in the morning and maybe take some Claritin.

But I could still run.

Really. REALLY.

How many signs was God gonna give me to tell me to stop running?
Even Christine had said (prior to our argument or during it, I can’t remember), “it’s like the Universe is telling you something“.

At this point, I was still running with Rebecca but I was feeling like I was holding her back a little because there were some sessions when I only wanted to power walk and not run at all because I was a little spooked by the asthma thing.

That’s also when I took an entire week off.

I later found out that Rebecca had been running with her husband and was up to two miles and for some reason, this really hurt my feelings.

WHY ON EARTH WOULD THIS HURT MY FEELINGS?

Maybe because I felt like it was such a huge hurdle for me to even get to one mile and I think I was jealous that she was having no problem running and I was falling apart limb by limb.
I felt inadequate and frankly, like a loser.
Do you see the animosity that running with friends creates? For me?

RUN WITH YOUR ENEMIES.

I held in my feelings when she told me about the running with her husband one night at a dinner at her house.
She was absolutely wonderful about it and still wanted to run with me but I felt so embarrassed that I couldn’t keep up with her.
I literally cried the entire car ride home and spent most of that night awake and feeling sorry for myself.

I had a meltdown. About running. I know, I’m ashamed of me too.

Now to be fair, there were other things going on in my life that would make me overreact and I am a total overreactor by nature but this was the thing that put me over the proverbial edge.

Running.

It was in the middle of the night, I decided all alone, mid sobs, in the dark that I was quitting altogether.
Stupid, dumb, poopy head running.

That morning, I woke up with pain in my tummy. I thought that this was indeed my body telling me something and felt like I had made the right decision.

2020 note- Ohhh 2012 Kari, just wait for the days when you can longingly wish for troubles as inconsequential as this. 

Until I realized, despite my obstacles, that I kind of loved running. I loved how it made me feel. I loved how it made my body look. And I loved how much of a release it was for me. And then I decided I was gonna run again. Alone.
And start from the beginning again.

I went to the doctor yet again when the tummy pain didn’t go away after two weeks.
Yeah, IBS.
From stress.

I CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

But the nurse (who is also a runner) told me, ” most people would have quit weeks ago but you must love it because you are still doing it after all these little obstacles“.

Then she said, “you look great, I can tell you are running“.

And THAT my friends, is what motivated me to keep doing it.
Because when your nurse, who is a marathon runner, tells YOU that YOU look good?
Sign.Me. Up. I will run ’til I fall to the ground.

So, 11 weeks after I started the program, to begin with, I started all over again from the beginning.

It’s hard and I have to push myself to get out of bed early to do it.
But I am doing it.
And I plan to run/jog/walk/ gasp my way through a 5k race in September.

On a side note, I am still friends with Rebecca (and Christine again) but take my word for it and exercise with your enemies.

Oh and I really don’t hate on Bruce Jenner. It was just a better title than, ” I Can’t Run More Than A Mile Or I Will Pass Out”.

11 thoughts on “Why I Hate Bruce Jenner”

  1. Hey there! It's your old friend, Bec …. Remember me???Haha! Sorry I'm a pathetic bloggy friend lately! I need to go back and read what's up with your folks and all that. I'm on vacation right now, and just happened to click on your FB link this morning since I'm sleeping on the worst excuse for a bed I've ever seen – and hence – am not – well, SLEEPING! So …. FB on my phone it was — and there you were!Anywho. You are such a STUD!!!Seriously. A little-known secret – I had started the couch to 5K myself back in February. I successfully made it through 5 weeks — and then found out I was prego! (and due to being scared out of my mind that something might happen to this lil babe – paired with having exactly ZERO amounts of energy AND being sick with strep and all that jazz, I had to stop) I was just getting to the point where I ALMOST looked forward to it — but not really. Mostly, I just wanted to prove to myself that I could do it. And I didn't! Ha!But I'm hoping next year at the same time, after baby is here and settled, I will give it another shot. We'll see. (and no, I would NOT run with anyone else – friend or not! That's like my worst nightmare!)Anyway — just wanted to say – you go, girl! I think you da bomb!Miss ya … and I'm hoping to be "back" soon! (I know I keep saying that!)Hugs!Bec 🙂

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  2. I love this post!!! It is so inspiring! I really love running, but I have been out of shape for so long, and had so many physical injuries, I just haven't been able to get started. I started the C25K last summer and made it all of once. I have Osgood Schlatter's disease, too! Can you believe it? I also suffer from planar fascitis, and also now have a neuroma in my left foot — got that last summer, too! ARGH! I haven't even worn tennis shoes for 8 months, let alone gone running.I *think* my foot is healed enough to try again, though, and I'm so glad to have read your post today!~Angela~

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  3. Ack!!!!! Just lost a comment. Bloody hell.

    It went a little something like this (because of course I didn’t think to copy it).

    Did you know that I used to run back when you wrote this post? I was actually coming to the end of my running life. I didn’t find your blog until my life went up in smoke and I lay smoldering at home.

    This New Year I decided to get moving again. Went out to job. 20 minute miles. 20 MINUTE MILES. My Granny can walk faster than that. I made a Drs appointment and my first visit isn’t until May. May! She did, however, take a full history and send me for bloodwork. Five pages of results came back (so many tubes of blood I nearly passed out) and all were normal. Yay!!

    Your post makes me want to blog again as she dictates my new lifestyle because this crap is hilarious. But blogging is work and so nah. I’ll just keep leaving my thoughts here.

    Keep writing. I love catching up on your old posts and of course the new.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It did it again I KID YOU NOT. And sadly, I didn’t have my comment copied AGAIN. It’s like carrying an umbrella and it doesn’t rain. A 15 minimize feels like an impossible feat for me. You are inspiring me all the time.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think I started running around 2012 too! No joke. I had been walking forever and I was like I need to get home faster plus stress relief. I dont really run anymore because of sciatica (sp?) My back cannot handle it, but it got me to start working out more. And I figured out how much I loved classes. Man, what kind of shape would I be in if I had figured this all out sooner?

    I have not lost a friend while working out, but when my college roomie came to visit me during my year in Ireland, she got mad at me for walking too fast. I was uswd to walking everywhere. She was legit mad. Oh my to be young and dumb- why fight about that, just slow the hell down.

    And I had a dorothy hamil haircut too. There we go again leading parralel lives and all.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I just started running again and I ran two of my fastest miles last week. Granted it was almost all downhill, but I’ll take the win! And you are a badass working through all of that, because your nurse was right most people would have quit.

    Your asthma that wasn’t made me think of what stopped me from running last year. I used to wear an Apple watch and it would constantly tell me that my heart rate was 190-200 when I ran, which always made me slow down, cause that is super dangerous. It got to the point where I was running so slow that I felt like I wasn’t improving while putting an enormous amount of work into it. So I quit. After all that work, and after three 5k’s. I quit.

    Then I switched to a FitBit watch because I had this epiphany that maybe my Apple watch was not great at gauging my heart rate. Now I’m running and I’ve never gone above 170, even while pushing myself to the point where I feel like my lungs are bleeding.

    Also, I literally had no idea who Bruce Jenner was until he had that DUI where he killed someone, and then became Caityln.

    Liked by 1 person

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