Food, Humor, Recipes, Summer

Four Ingredient Recipes- Sweetened Saltine

I blame Trisha Yearwood for me making this recipe.
Actually, I blame Garth Brooks, her ever-loving and ever-eating husband.
I also blame her and him for the five pounds I gained after eating these.
I am a huge fan of her cooking show on Food Network and this was one of her recipes.
I had heard of similar recipes like these growing up.
Some call them mock Heath bars too but we refer to them around here as “crack”.
Because although I have never tried “crack” before, I have heard that it is very addictive.
And these are very addictive.
Except you, won’t have to go to rehab after eating these.
So these would be called “socially acceptable crack”.
Be warned: if you are on a diet, you will want to save this recipe for your “cheat day”.
Then you will want to throw these down the disposal the next day to get rid of the evidence.
Don’t say you weren’t warned.

 Sweetened Saltines

saltine crackers
 2 sticks of butter (not margarine)
 1 c. brown sugar
 2 c. chocolate chips
Melt the butter and brown sugar in a saucepan.
Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Place saltines on the parchment paper-lined cookie sheet, making sure the crackers don’t overlap.
Pour melted butter/brown sugar mixture over crackers.
Place in the oven for 5 minutes.
Take out of the oven and toss chocolate chips on top of crackers and let sit for a few minutes to melt.
Spread chocolate chips onto the crackers.
Place in the freezer for 15 minutes.
Then break into bite-size pieces.
NOW, if you have a side by side fridge that has a tiny freezer? You will have a problem.
You won’t be able to fit the cookie sheet into the freezer.
So you will be forced to use your toaster oven cookie sheet to make these to fit into the said small freezer.
Then in turn, the caramel mixture will spill over onto the bottom of the oven. Causing the smoke alarm to go off.
And your home to smell like burnt butter for a week.
And when you turn on your stove until you get un-lazy enough to scrape it off the bottom of the said oven.
Or get your husband to do it.
So to make these again, I am gonna need to buy a box freezer.
And I will.
If only to make these again.
They are that good.
These will not disappoint.
Make them for a party.
A big party.

So as not to be tempted to eat the tray by yourself.

Damn you, Trisha Yearwood.
Damn you all to hell.


5 thoughts on “Four Ingredient Recipes- Sweetened Saltine”

  1. I LOVE to make these. My recipe calls them Poor Man's Heath Bars but I like your title better! I've stopped making them for awhile because they stick so bad to the pan (and I don't need to be eating this stuff!). I can't wait to try the parchment to see if it works better. Thanks. And I hope whatever you are dealing with lately will be over soon. Sending prayers.


  2. Yes! Poor Man's Heath Bars….I have heard of that too! They are soooo good, aren't they? Thank you for your prayers, Pam. We are marching right through it and thanking God for getting us through each day! 🙂 Hugs!


  3. These look TOO easy and TOO delicious … but maybe I'll just blame Garth Brooks, too when I put on a few pounds 😉 Thanks for sharing this awesome recipe at the {what's shakin' link party} this week!


  4. Yes – I found it!!! *whew* I found and pinned this recipe a couple of years ago; so long ago, in fact, that it ended up at the very bottom of my Pinterest Board. I made several batches that year, divvied it into cute little porcelain dishes and gave them for Christmas gifts to co-workers. Easy, easy, easy and quite possibly one of THE best candy recipes I've ever made. Umm, or tasted, for that matter. If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen.


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