Blogging, Humor

Target, You Suck Balls. NaBloPoMo #22

Today’s prompt- Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” Do you agree or disagree?

I think the Aristotle Islands are on one of the Great Lakes that surround Wisconsin.
Or Michigan.
Or Minnesota.
That is the only Aristotle I can relate to.
Because I am NOT going to take apart the above prompt.
My friend Jen said I could stray away from the prompts so I don’t feel like I am cheating.
She also gave me a great idea for a prompt that I will use this week.
My FINAL week.

But today, I am going to go down a different path.
The path that leads to Target, you suck.
I need to vent.
My friend Sue will appreciate this story.
Because she is somewhat at fault for this story.
And I mean this in the most loving way.
I bought a Spanx swimsuit from Target online the other day because she got one and she looked amazeballs in it.
So I knew I needed to get one.
Because “things” aren’t sitting where they used to.

First, you need to know, I have never bought myself a nice swimsuit/bikini.
By the way, I haven’t owned a bikini since having children.
So swimsuit it is for the sake of this story.

I usually buy my suits at Wal-Mart, Old Navy during a 50% off sale, Kohl’s on clearance, or Target off-season when I find a hideous color suit but its like four bucks so I reason that I will only wear it around the yard but end up wearing it to the pool regularly because it is the only one that doesn’t ride up my butt.
So I was excited to not only be getting a new swimsuit in February when the picking is good but also a swimsuit that may even make me look more like a Real Housewife and less like a…well….housewife.

So I went to, giddily placed my order and waited.

When I received the package a few days later, it had not the swimsuit but rather a pair of boys khaki pants.


When I received the package a few days later, it had not the swimsuit but rather a pair of boys khaki pants.

Oh, believe me, the irony was not lost.
So I immediately called customer service.
While making dinner.
And dealing with two fighting sisters.
And a 7th-grade solar system project.

And this is what they told me:

I need to return the pants and then after the return has been received, I need to reorder the suit online.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

I didn’t make the mistake.
I didn’t put the pants in the box.
I placed my order and now I am being punished?

I told this to two different customer service agents and was very nice to them but related to them how unfair this was.
I literally said, “why am I the one who has to make up for your mistake and when I say “you” I mean someone in shipping.”
I killed them with kindness.
I told them that ” I know this isn’t your fault but I need to relate my issue”.
I even said “you are very helpful” at one point!

Nothing they could do for me.
“Just following protocol”.
Which is code for “you are screwed”.

This may seem like a “first world problem” and it is.
But for a stay at home mom, who hardly ever gets anything for herself at Target besides the occasional pair of two buck socks, an Us magazine and a box of Oreo’s, this made me cry.

I cried.

What happened to the customer always being right?
What happened to go the extra mile???
What happened to me looking skinny at the pool this summer????

I worked retail for 13 years and the things we did for the customer make my stomach turn to this day but this is definitely a case where they failed their customer.
So I won’t be repurchasing that suit.
I will be waiting for the credit to appear on my statement.

And heading to the clearance section of Wal-Mart to find another mismatched swimsuit.
Pass the Oreo’s.

7 thoughts on “Target, You Suck Balls. NaBloPoMo #22”

  1. augh! how annoying! i worked in customer service for a long time too, but things have changed since our time i think. companies don't actually care about the customer any more. obviously.i bought a bathing suit online via lands end from their clearance section, best money spent! i too always buy one cheap!


  2. Try Walmart. I didn't buy it, but I went on there to look for swim cover-ups (shhh!) and saw this one that gets 775 reviews and has 5 stars. That's a pretty amazing record:'t believe they sent you a pair of boy's khakis. You don't even have a little boy and therefore would never be in the boy's section on the website, so they be cray-zzzy, yo.


  3. Lola- thanks for your support friend. Maybe the Twitter war we are raging will incite something. Yeah. Probably not. Brandi- I am headin' there now! Thank you!Shannon- omg I just peed a little. Thank you for helping me find the humor!


  4. WHAT THE POOP?! That is ridiculous. And you know my (our) love for Target so to be pissssssed is sad. They suck. Super suck. And the fact that they aren't even fixing it NOW? Ridiculous. Horrible customer service. I hate customer service. I've had these issues with Old Navy as well- gotten wrong orders, not mine at all, but they sure went and charged me for it asap PLUS what i actually ordered and it took months of calling to get them to refund me! Ugh. It sucks. I'm sorry!!


  5. That sucks. Go to and get your suit. You will pay a little more for it but they will hide EVERY ONE OF YOUR BITS YOU WANT HIDDEN and you can return it if they mess up. OR if it sits in the box for a year, unopened and you never wear it. I adore Lands End – they are the ONLY store I will shop from online because of their customer service and return policy.P.S. You aren't cheating NaBloPoMo at all. Have you seen more than one of my posts this month using those ridiculous prompts? This is awesome practice for November when Melisa convinces us we need to do this again with her!!


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