Dieting, Humor

The One Where I Show You My Gut. How I Fought The Law and The Law Won

“The law” as mentioned in the title is “Jillian Michael’s” for the sake of this blog post.
Don’t know who she is?
She is pretty confident you do.
As evidenced in her kinda cocky intro to her 30 Day Shred DVD.
Never heard of it?
I think you have.

"The law" as mentioned in the title is "Jillian Michael's" for the sake of this blog post. Don't know who she is? She is pretty confident you do. As evidenced in her kinda cocky intro to her 30 Day Shred DVD. Never heard of it? I think you have .


It's a 30 day challenge and each day includes a 20 minute workout.

It’s a 30-day challenge and each day includes a 20-minute workout.
Well, 18 minutes of circuit training plus 4 minutes total of warm up and cool down.
The circuits are cardio, strength, and abs.
And there are three levels of intensity.
You start on level 1 and work your way to level 3.
That is the textbook version.
Let me give you my version.

I started this workout on February 10th.
I finished this workout on March 25th.
I am aware that is more than 30 days.

Here is what happened: I did the first two days back to back.
And then I couldn’t walk for three days.
Well, I could walk but it is the IlooklikeIhadsomethingstuckinmypants kinda walk.
Like a cross between a just walking toddler and a 90-year-old woman.
And that is an insult to toddlers and 90-year-old women everywhere.
It was bad.
My legs hurt so bad,  that I cried at night.
Cried, people.
BUT I made the mistake of not stretching at the end of each workout.
AND I didn’t wear tennis shoes for the first two workouts either.
I have a thing about wearing shoes in the house.
I got over that real fast after the toddler/90-year-old pain I felt.

So I gave myself four days to recover/ get the feeling back in my legs and started again.
And I was scared.
Really scared.
Because I didn’t want to feel like that.
But like magic, within four days, it was all better.
It’s like my muscles had a pep talk amongst themselves and said: “this is how its gonna be from now on, so suck it up”.

Now, if you decide to take on this challenge here are a few things you have to know.

Meet Natalie:

Meet Natalie:

Natalie is an overachiever.
She will make you feel like you are weak.
And that you are less than her.
Don’t fall into her trap, her lair, if you will.
She wants you to hate her.
Don’t let her smell your fear.
Because she will eat you alive.
And Jillian likes her best.
Way to play favorites, J-dog.

Meet Anita:

Meet Anita:

She is gonna be your BFF, or your homie if you will.
She does the “modified” exercises.
Which in Jillian speak means, you suck.
Don’t let that bother you.
Anita “gets” you.
And totally seems like she would love to betray Jillian.
You know, by heading to Smashburger with you on a Friday afternoon.

So here’s the deal, I stuck with this program for the entire time but couldn’t do it every single day for 30 days straight because of my knees.
So I took Sunday’s off.
You know.
Because of God
Name that movie.

I did do most weeks at six straight days but once I hit level 3, my knees were killing me so I had to start with every other day but eventually I was able to do every single day on level 3.

Are you still with me??

I stayed on level 1 for two weeks, level 2 for two weeks and level 3 for two weeks.

Still here???

So with one day off each week and days off for recovery, pain etc. it ended up totaling six full weeks of exercise which is fine because I really wanted to be active through the entire winter.


Here are some highlights:

– When I wasn’t working out each day, I ended up missing it. A lot. And I noticed my body was going through withdrawal when I went more than a day in between workouts. My mood was so much better when I did the workouts. My hubs can completely attest to this. In fact, one or more times this six weeks he has said….go workout already. Please.

– I was actually kinda liking Jillian by the end of the 30 days. I went through phases. At first, I loathed her then around level 2 I felt like she was tolerable and by level 3, I felt like she really wanted me to succeed. I know, it’s probably all those feel-good natural workout drugs inside of me getting all gushy.

– I am stronger than I have ever been. I feel it in my arms and calves and feel like I am starting out really good to train for another 5k.

*note- I have done two runs since stopping this program. My lower legs hurt. Bad. But my lungs and knees? Better than ever. The lower legs, it has been determined, are because of my running shoes. So I do see a difference already.*

– My abs are not anywhere shredded but I didn’t starve myself while doing this. I did watch what I ate five days of the week but I was really hungry while doing this so it was hard. This winter was hard for me so I think I compensated with food more than most winters so I am glad I did this or I would be 15 pounds heavier this spring. True story.

-When you start level 2, you will feel like someone punched you in the stomach for the first week. At night I would feel like I was having cramps or just like someone was pressing hard on my belly. That is because in level 2 the abs really get worked. Which means nothing to me since I don’t have shredded abs. It was a high price to pay to not see much of an improvement.

So here is the moment of truth.
You know.
Where I show you my tummy.
For those weak in stomach or heart, you may want to skip the rest of this post.
If you really like me or are a family member or friend, this could be a game changer.
Please don’t look at me any differently.
If you think you will, just skip it and know this: my abs look like Jillian’s.
Just like hers.
In fact, if you stood us side by side, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.
I am sure of that.

Here we go…….
Deep breath……..

Oh my Lawd. No, no. I am not pregnant. But thanks for asking.

Oh, my Lawd.
No, no.
I am not pregnant.
But thanks for asking.


Umm. Yeah. I kinda let myself go this winter. Like I told my friend Sue last week, my love of food is more powerful than my love of exercise.

I kinda let myself go this winter.
Like I told my friend Sue last week, my love of food is more powerful than my love of exercise.


And here are the after pics.
Not the glowing after pics you will see on Pinterest.
In fact, I can tell you that this post will definitely not bring people here from Pinterest.
Maybe the showing of skin.
But am afraid that will bring a totally new demographic to the blog.


At least my belly is inside my leggings. And no, I am not sucking it in. Trust me, I wish I looked better than this sucking it in. My stomach doesn't even respond to the command "suck it in" anymore.

At least my belly is inside my leggings.
And no, I am not sucking it in.
Trust me, I wish I looked better than this sucking it in.
My stomach doesn’t even respond to the command “suck it in” anymore.


Is that a six-pack or you just happy to see me?

Is that a six-pack or you just happy to see me?
Yeah, still look like I am in the bloated stages of early pregnancy but I will take it.

Side by side:


Holy crap balls!
It made a difference!
I just now noticed it after I posted the pictures side by side!!!!
OK, so they are not bikini-worthy abs but I will take it.
And you feel like you know me just a little more intimately now.
I expect readership to drop after this post.
I get it.
It was nice knowing you.
I will do this again next winter.
Or save up for a treadmill.
Either way, it was a great experience and I recommend it.
If I (who has major workout ADD) can stick with this, you can too.
And you know you wanna do it when you see these amazing results.
I can hear Jillian’s “people” calling me soon to set something up!
That was sarcasm.

28 thoughts on “The One Where I Show You My Gut. How I Fought The Law and The Law Won”

  1. You look AMAZING and you were (yes blaa-blaa i know) so tiny before even though you didn't think so:) I have a love/hate with her too. I understand. So much. I started last week, got in 2 days, got a UTI and migraine and my period – talk about feeling like your body is against you. I'm restarting today. Did you try ripped in 30 or the jackie warner ones that are similar? Love them. But hate them. I'm determined. Anyway, whatever – YOU ARE INSPIRING, OK?! You look amazing:) Happy Monday!


  2. Ok now, THAT is what a testimonial should be like on every workout DVD! Imagine how many more products they'd sell with simple honesty? You look awesome! Thanks for the review, hilarious!


  3. Congrats on your success! Now let's talk Smashburger. Have you tried their fried pickles? Incredible!I'm being a bad influence, aren't I? But, like you said, my love for food surpasses my love of exercise.


  4. I would wear a bikini with the after, have no shame lady. You worked your tail off. You deserve a dang bikini 🙂 great job!


  5. Pretty amazing! So glad you stuck with it. I always enjoyed when the camera caught Natalie slacking off as Jillian walked away (or paid attention to Anita). I bet Natalie is a lovely woman in person.


  6. Thanks friends, it means a lot.And I am glad you all are still speaking to me.Shannon- TOTALLY gettin' some pickles together.Melisa- You MET her?????????????


  7. You ALMOST made me miss Jillian. Almost. You look AMAZING. And you were skinny to begin with. If only I looked that good BEFORE, perhaps I would look better in the AFTER! Ha!Hope the running is going well!Love ya!


  8. Hey, I have that belly button (you know, in the morning before I eat).It's the "hello, i'm a mom and had two kids" belly button. I'd recognize it anywhere.SO proud of you! Hooray for results, you know? I think I'll do this every January, too. Note to self: buy a treadmill in December.I am different than you. I think despite Anita being the "easy" chick, Natalie would totally dropkick Jillian in a hot minute. She was so not committed, despite being a total bad***.


  9. I think your tummy looks great! You are very, very brave to post those pictures…especially the "before", lol. Heck, your before doesn't even look that bad. Much better than mine! Can I blame being OLD (50!), 2 babies, and 2 abdominal surgeries?! Yeah, yeah…eating too much and lack of exercise count, too. I need to get my butt in gear. Literally.


  10. You did awesome!! I have bad knees, too and that's what made me quit. I lent my copy to my friend yesterday. You inspired me to pick it back up when I get it back, though. Good job!!!


  11. Can you please not post Holy Crapballs anymore? When I read that I laughed out loud at my office and actually had people turn to look at me! That totally sounds like something I would say (it has now been added to potential sayings)!And wowzers – this post has me wanting to get on Amazon and order the DVD. Even your description of the days of pain were inspiring! I wonder if it would work on guys. I would love to see if my hubby would do it with me!Hope you are having a great day!


  12. You looked awesome before so you look utterly amazing now! Great job thanks for the hilarious review…I may give this workout a try because I totally did nada all winter long and it shows. 🙂


  13. Good for you! I did that workout what seems like a LONG time ago. You inspire me! I will dig that out again because it certainly was affective. Call me crazy, but I like Jillian's boot camp director ways. I need that now because I was sore after a night of Just Dance 4.Love your review of the workout–funny stuff!


  14. Thats awesome! I have started and stopped this video so many times and recently started it up again. You look great everyone has 20 minutes to get shredded!!!New follwer from the biggest linky party ever!!Come over and say hi!


  15. You are the best thing ever! I'l totally hang with you at the pool this summer, now. WAIT- did you mention Smashburger? I've tried old Jillian's yoga tape and loved it, but I just can't get my ass motivated to work out at home. It doesn't stick unless O=I haul myself out to the gym. I'm proud of you. Good going, and way to stick with it, lady.


  16. This was such a fun read! I've had friends do the workout and go through all the very same stages that you described. It almost makes me want to try it. Almost 😉


  17. Bec- aka my exercise buddy- you DO look amazing. AMAZING. 🙂 Brandy- I disagree. I totally think Anita would attack in a dark alley. With all that repressing she is doing. 🙂 Melanie- YES! Abdominal surgeries DO make a diff! Especially if you had a vertical incision!! Good point!Frosted- those knees. THOSE KNEES!! I get it, friend. Totally.Antonia- you always ALWAYS make me laugh out loud. Love you!Kristi- I am so sorry. Please tell your boss it was alllll my fault! 😉 And yes, guys could totally benefit from this! Go to Windy City Wilsons blog. Her hubs did it with her.Outsmarted- thank you!!! That makes me smile!Karmen- OMG I am laughing! I do miss her, I think I will end up getting back together with her again in the fall. Mommy- thanks!! And keep on keepin' on!Jeanette- you. me. smashburger. this summer. Got it?? Lizzy- thanks friend!! Congrats on the baby!!!Jen- Go outside for a run instead. Give her a try next winter. You will love her. Almost. 😉


  18. You are doing a great job! I remember when I started Tae Bo, I would have those issues with my legs–clicking knees and all. I would give myself time off but would walk on those days instead. You are looking great!


  19. Wow! That is great & I totally would take your stomach in the "before" pics. Mine is located somewhere by my ankles.


  20. That's a huge improvement! Hell, I would have worn a bikini with your first picture…but I understand we all have our own personal concerns. (says the woman who has NEVER worn a bikini) 🙂 I have this dvd…um…somewhere…


  21. Ok, I have to say you are teeny tiny in your before and after pic! You look amazing and I do see a difference! I tried the 30 Day Shred but only lasted 8 days and then I got shin splints and I cried. And I quit. You are inspiring! Maybe i'll pop in her DVD…tomorrow of course, lol!


  22. I was inspired. I bought it. I finished day two last night. I'm in pain but I'm pushing through. Thanks for the inspiration!


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