Blogging, Favorite Things, Humor

Why Raygun Won’t Let Me “Pimp Them Out”

Writer McWriterson

I had to share this with all of you because it was the first time I tried to get a company to send me free shit. Also, I love this company and I think you will love it too if you’ve never discovered it. I thought it would be a fun find on the week I shared, Shit I Bought During a Pandemic. 

First published April 12, 2013

I did a “thing”.

I think I discovered a company.

Okay, maybe not “discovered”.

I found them through another blogger on Instagram.

Same thing.

 

I bought myself this:

Don’t be jealous of my threads.
Even if you don’t blog, Raygun has really cool stuff.

When my tee-shirt came in the mail THREE DAYS after ordering it, there was even a handwritten note on my receipt.

Get out!

No, YOU GET THE F***K OUT!

That was their first mistake. Making handwritten contact with me. Because I took this as a friendly gesture; a getting-to-know-you tactic.
So I emailed the company in my first-ever attempt at a pitch email.
Look at me using big words.
Like pitch.
And email.

I even sent them my brand spanking new media kit
Media kit = information about my blog that some blogger told me I needed to have at some stupid blogging event. I created mine in a Word document and it looks like a terrible history paper.

So I told them in the email I wanted to offer a giveaway to all of you. (You want a tee-shirt. GO WITH IT)

I also told them that part of the giveaway rules could be that the readers (who knew you’d be so busy today?) could like their Facebook and Twitter sites in order to win the giveaway. (did I sell your souls or what?)

Like clockwork, I get a prompt response email from Mike, the CEO of course.

2020 note- by the way, Mike still must be the CEO over there because when I get mass-generated emails from Raygun, they come into my inbox not from “Raygun” but from “Mike”. Guess who also has the name “Mike”? My husband. Last fall, they had THE best debate/election/end of the world tee shirts and I thought my husband was sending one he planned on buying to me. So I responded to the email saying, “OMG, are you getting that? SO FUNNY!”. I got an email back from RAYGUN telling me, I don’t think this email was for us? They are still running a pretty magnificent show over there.

Note to self- don’t answer any emails from “Mike”. 

 

thanks for the e-mail, Kari!  what do you mean by “give away” on the blog?

we do happily send out samples of our stuff to bloggers, but we don’t actually ever give away our stuff (ourselves, etc) in any sort of large way. we do little give-aways for charities and things like that…
but just let me know the parameters of the said giveaway!
There was a little back and forth and then he said:

roger, I’m picking up what you’re putting down… we’ll probably pass on the giveaway to readers part. we are pretty persnickety with that kind of stuff, and so never use the product to get people to follow our Facebook page, etc. 

however, we do send out our stuff to connectors like you. so if you wanted some things from our site just for yourself, we’d be happy to mail some over. just let us know your address and what you’d like! there are no strings attached, so you don’t have to write about it or anything. 
let me know if you need anything else!

2020 note- I was so stupid in 2013. He is essentially telling me, I DON’T SELL MY SOUL TO INSIPID BLOGGERS TO GET NUMBERS. BUT HERE IS SOME FREE SHIT TO GET YOU OFF MY BACK. God love him. 

I love a CEO that says “roger”.
Surely you are not calling me Roger.
Don’t call me Shirley.

So I said, I will love anything you send me.

2020 note- Meaning, send me free shit. Eye roll.

And that they can’t stop me from “pimping them out at an upcoming blog conference”.
Is it unprofessional to tell a CEO you will be “pimping them out”?

2020 note- Yes, very. 

And four days later, this arrived in the mail:

 

Take your time and read. Take it all in. By the way, I am sending that beer/bacon cozy to my brother.

2020 note- YOU KNOW, this was in their clearance section. YOU KNOW IT! 

Take it all in.
By the way, I’m sending that beer/bacon cozy to my brother.
It’s like they know who he is.

2020 note- Only the best for Uncle Bubba. A free, clearance section, pimped out, bacon/ beer cozy. Looks like Kari is movin’ on up!

This is so how peeps who are NOT from the Midwest feel about the Midwest. Admit it.
If you are from Chicago, you should get it. Think about it. Wait for it, wait for it. Got it?

 

Raygun even sent rub on temporary tattoos for my girls!

 

They even sent a temporary tattoos for my girls
2020 note- Sure they did
And I got Suzanne's autograph!!

And I got Suzanne’s autograph!!
2020 note- “Checked out your blog” is such a LIE. I am laughing so hard. 

Just between you and me, I want to work there.
I would even sell all our belongings and move to Des Moines if I knew the weather would be better than Chicago.
It’s tropical there.

2020 note- I would still work there. And by the way, the weather is better there. It’s sunnier in Iowa than any other place in the Midwest. It’s a fact. 

And I really want to meet Jess.
Because she has spirit fingers.
If that is anything like Jazz hands, we will be besties.
I can tell.

2020 note- GAG besties? GAG. 

So here is the thing.
I would really, really appreciate it if you go to their site and look-see.
For me?
Because this is the first company I ever sent a media kit to.
And they didn’t laugh at me.
Or my little blog.
2020 note- Oh honey, they totally laughed at you, but it’s okay. There, there. 

30 thoughts on “Why Raygun Won’t Let Me “Pimp Them Out””

    1. Right??? And you "need" that blogger tee too. Unless this isnt the Samantha I am thinking of. 🙂

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  2. Well now that you've paved the way for awesome and by awesome I really mean awkward, pitches I may contact them myself 😉 Love, Your MIL…who really wishes an F came after that title 😉

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  3. OMG I LOVE THIS COMPANY TOO!! And I SO love that Idaho is on the Midwest map to the east of Ohio!! that is hilarious!!I am so going to glom on to this gravy train and get some swag too!! I will totally credit you with spreading the word! 🙂

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  5. Well, you are obviously a great pimp because I never heard of the company before you instagrammed your snazzy shirt and now I want to hump them. In a totally professional, I'm a REAL BLOGGER (yeah, right) kind of way.

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    1. Humping them is a completely reasonable first impression I was hoping to convey!! Now go order one so we can be twinsies!!!

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  9. How non-Midwesterners think of the Midwest is actually far worse than that. We know which one is Idaho because of the potato logo, and Michigan is the hand… right? But other than that, it's snow, snow, fields, and Napoleon Dynamite. Sorry. Do YOU guys know New England?

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    1. Napoleon Dynamite….now there's one I have never heard in describing us. New England to us is Patriots, clam baked and the Kennedys. Sorry in advance.

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  10. Holy crap, this is awesome and only reminds me that I need to pimp out my blog more *sound of Marianne creating a marketing kit and letter to Nutella*

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  11. Hi! I'm the girl with the spirit fingers! Thanks for the sweet write up, you seem like you'd get along nicely with the RAYGUN crew 🙂

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  12. I live 3 minutes away from the store and it takes all my will power to not buy all the shirts. Granted, I am from the Midwest so they're probably extra funny to me, but it is a great store. Although, I don't recall ever having seen a door greeter…

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    1. You are so lucky.Btw, it's a virtual door greeter but they should totally make ME their in person door greeter.

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  15. You are TOO funny! I love your blog and your format. Now that's the way to capture an audience. Brave you sending all that info to the Raygun guys. You get a COOL-PLUS! As do they, for responding and sending you that fab swag. Will go over and check out the rest of their goods. You go gurrl!

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  17. Almost eight years later and their stuff is still awesome, but I bet they don’t do giveaways anymore. In fact I’d be surprised if those kinds of giveaways are still a thing, as the kids say, but I might have to spring for some of those stickers. Or a tee shirt, because you can never have enough.
    And speaking of tee shirts, many years ago I wrote to the Flying Dog brewing company to tell them I really liked one of their seasonal beers but that it was frustrating that I had to drive an hour just to pick up the last six pack on a store shelf and it would be nice if they could make more of it. They sent me a nice note and asked which tee shirt I’d like. And that is why I will always be a fan of them. That and they do make some really good beer.

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    1. I love this story! I will always remember this company because of this story.

      I love Raygun. I went to a store in Iowa City a few years ago while doing a college visit with Anna and I was quite excited to be inside of an actual store.

      They have stores in Chicago now. I should check them out.

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