Childhood, Humor, Life, Nonsense

Beer Breath, Cat “Smell” and Big Hair; Why You Will Never Look at Me the Same Way Again

Before I get to the good stuff, check out my latest DIY project if you haven’t gotten to the blog lately.
I am in love with my new green front door!!
And the neighbors tell me it makes them happy when they look at it.
I am all about serving the people, folks.

So this weekend, THIS WEEKEND!!!
First off, I won something.
I know those who are following me on Facebook and Twitter are sick to death of hearing this but just give me one more shout out, okay?
I WON A MINI IPAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a funny story behind this and I will tell it.
Because I am still in recovery from my AWESOME blogger Sunday.
But for today, enjoy some random pieces of knowledge about me.

– When I am alone in the house (which is RARE), I turn my iPod on full volume and dance. Like DANCE.

– I clean my bathrooms on Thursdays. I don’t know why I picked this day but if this is your day too, I wave my toilet brush in your general direction.

– Speaking of Monty Python, I love The Holy Grail movie, thanks to my brother.

– I have never seen the movie The Princess Bride.

– I don’t drink coffee but I love the smell of it.

-The smell of beer on my husband’s breath makes me giddy. You know, GIDDY. Wink, wink.

– I have never rollerbladed in my life but I can school you on roller skates. Especially when We Will Rock You by Queen comes on.

– I can smell cats in a house as soon as I walk in. Even if you NEVER had a cat but maybe the previous owner did? Yeah. I got their number. Realtors should hire me. I am like a savant when it comes to uncovering cat smell.

– I have big feet. Size 9.5- 10 big. You know what they say about women with big feet? They wear big shoes.


Woman Blowing Bubblegum



– Aspartame gives me headaches. And for that reason, I rarely chew gum.

– My name could have been Amy. If I were a boy, I would have been named Jonathan.

– My brother’s girl name was Christy. My brother married a girl named Kristy.

– I love the smell of road tar.

– I marched in the Citrus Bowl parade with our high school marching band in 1987.

– I like to eat salt on my apples and watermelon.

– I also love ketchup on my cottage cheese and my youngest won’t eat cottage cheese without it.

– My first car was a Chevette. Well, it was my parent’s car but the car I drove all through high school.

– My brother totaled that car two months after getting his license.

– I hate thunderstorms. So do both my girls.

– I have an irrational fear of tornadoes.

– I had to get stitches on the day of my mom’s 50th birthday while getting ready for the surprise party I was planning. I was cutting a watermelon and sliced open my finger. No one was home, so I drove myself to the ER.

– I am recently addicted to Candy Crush on my phone……and can’t get past level 30.

Galeries Lafayette Building


– I took three years of French in high school and can only remember four or five words. Je m’apelle Kari.

– I had a chance to go to Quebec during my freshman year in high school but turned it down because I didn’t want to be away from my family.

– My entire family now lives within 8-11 hours away from me as I write this.

–  I won a blue ribbon at the county fair for cooking when I was 12 and in 4-H.

– I don’t know how to swim.

– I was afraid I would die of Toxic Shock Syndrome all through high school.

-And also of Scoliosis thanks to the book Deenie.

– While all my friends ran out and got their driver’s license the day they turned 16, I didn’t go get mine until six months after I turned 16 because I was scared to death to drive.

– When I was in high school, everyone called me “Jenny” because I reminded them of Jennifer on Family Ties.

– My oldest daughter looked just like Dakota Fanning when she was little. So much that random people on the street would stop us and ask us if it was her.

– My senior year soundtrack was Def Leppard’s Hysteria. On tape, of course.

– I am peed off that I can’t buy any Def Leppard’s Hysteria on iTunes.

– When I write a blog post, I can’t have any noise, no music, nothing at all.

– Therefore, I blog when I am alone or when the kids are asleep.

– I was told by my English teacher in high school that I would make a great writer someday. That same teacher gave me a C in her class.

Woman Typing on Laptop


– I was a cigarette smoker for 13 years when I quit before I got pregnant with my oldest. Then I started again for five more years before quitting for good in 2007 before I got pregnant with my youngest. I am 6.5 years “sober” and will never touch one again.

– Favorite high school class? Speech. Favorite college class? Microbiology.

– I have a blanket I sleep with every single night that I call my “woobie” and I can’t sleep without it. My hubs even brought it to me at the hospital after I gave birth to my youngest.

– The night before I left the hospital after giving birth to Ellie, I had four maternity nurses in my room hanging out and talking all evening.

– I almost became a nurse. I got into the program and then turned it down. Biggest career regret of my life.

– I am freakishly strong but my 13-year-old daughter is too. She can carry me piggyback and I am not light.

-My love for senior citizens has rubbed off on my kids. So much so that when my youngest sees a “gramma” or “grampa” in the store, she says “I wish we could take them home with us!!” Yes, I know that would be illegal.

– I secretly miss big honkin’ 80s  hair…….



……..which I kept on rockin’ until 1992.


OK off to rock out to some Def Leppard and watch The Holy Grail with some senior citizens.
Wanna smoke??
Just kidding.


6 thoughts on “Beer Breath, Cat “Smell” and Big Hair; Why You Will Never Look at Me the Same Way Again”

  1. I, too, am I roller skating diva! I saw Def Leppard in concert during the Hysteria tour and have pictures of Joe Elliot in his ripped pants.After reading this list we ARE sisters from anotha mutha!!xoxo


    1. Omg is there a concert you havent been to??You are my taller, more photogenic, fearless sistah. And I know my mom will adopt you. 🙂


  2. You make me laugh, Kari! I love your blog posts. I know I commented on FB about you winning the iPad Mini, but I'll say it again – woo-hoo! That is so awesome. I don't know if you had any kind of tablet beforehand…I don't, so I'd be thrilled to death. Heck, I don't even have a smart phone! (A little behind the times.) I do have an iPod (whaddya know) and like you, I turn it on and DANCE my tushy off when no one is home. I pull the blinds so my neighbors don't see me and think I'm having an epileptic fit or something. ;-)Gum…there's lots w/o aspartame now; most of them have xylitol instead. I loved Def Leppard when I was in high school (a looong time ago). Met them in person at a record store and got their autographs and I'll be darned if I remember what I ever did with it. Probably threw it away as I got older. Had an autographed poster of Ozzy too. 🙂


    1. Omg this is awesome Melanie!! We need to get together for lunch soon since we arent too far from each other, sound like a plan?


  3. Once again…WHY didn't you live next door to me growing up????? Think of the fun!But I always had flat hair. My sister used to put water in my hairspray bottle. Totally not bitter or anything…


    1. Omg that is awesome. We would have had so much fun!!! We will make up for it at Blogher. 😉


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s