Decorating, Humor

Tell Me Man- What Do YOU Put On Your Mantel?

Hey there, hi there, ho there!
How are you this fine morning my friend?
Whoa, whoa, whoa……WAY too cheery for a Monday morning.
Dude, what up?
A couple of things: I made a list last week.
And I failed.
Check it out here.


I have a confession to make.
I haven’t done a crafty or décor-y thing in my house in…..well; I don’t even remember.
This makes me a little sad for many reasons:

1- I used to be so creative. Always making cute little things for the home, for the kid’s birthdays yadda and I slowly notice that I am losing my funk. My mojo. My “thing”.

2- This is why I started this blog to begin with. To share my creativity for little things for the home, for kid’s birthday parties yadda. I feel like I am letting all of you down.

3- I enjoy making lists and there is usually always a #3. So I added this one for effect. OK. I haven’t lost all of my creativity.

Truth be told, I love to write about my life, my peeps, and tell little comical stories.
So that is what you have experienced more of as of late on the blog.
I hope you are OK with that because that is what I feel like I do best.
But I still love a macrame project here and there.
I don’t macrame.
Again, I added it for effect.
Still, have it.

So I have this mantel.
On top of my fireplace?
You might have one too.
It is boss.

My brother made this.
And now you can see that I am not the talented one in the family with decor.
I don’t even know how to run a drill.
Or a power screwdriver.

He made this for us as a wedding present, and I am eternally grateful for this mantel.
Because before he made this?
There was nothing.
Not even a ledge.
Just stone.
Stuck to a wall.
And if he hadn’t made it?
I would have gone to Target or more realistically, Goodwill and bought some of those ledge things and nailed it up there.
And it would have sagged and fallen off and left holes in the wall.
Then I would have painted and spackled over it to make the holes go bye-bye.
And then I would have tried to fashion something else.
Then it would have gotten really ugly.
And I would have drunk Mad Dog.
Or Wild Turkey.
During the day, while watching Judge Judy.
Not that there is anything wrong with that.

So he really saved my existence by making and installing this mantel for us.
And a trip to rehab.

When I first got the mantel in 2006, I was all, ” I am gonna do this mantel upright”.
And decorated it for each holiday, government observance, and birthday.
It was the pièce de résistance of the family room.
I loved it, and it loved me back.
Then in 2011, I stopped.
Oh sure, I would decorate it for Halloween and Christmas, but the rest of the year it looked the same.
Candles, maybe a metal star or two, and a PRAY sign.

I know some of you are all, “So? I am lucky if I dust my mantel.”
And that’s all good.
But my mantel is special.
Made especially for our little family.
It needs love and care.
And more than just a candle.
That isn’t even real.
And that we never, ever light up.

It was me hosting a Tastefully Simple party in my home that motivated me to change things up a bit.
I do this.
Are you like this?
I need to have company come to my home in order for me to move the furniture around or dust under the couch.
Or the mantel.
I hadn’t dusted my mantel in three months.
Because that would require me to move the PRAY sign.
By the way, I just vacuumed under my couch for the first time in a year.
Do people really do that?
I am a self-proclaimed neat freak and even I don’t do it.

Here is my newest mantel creation:

I know what the “old-timers” are thinking.
This looks exactly like it did in 2010.
Do I still have readers from 2010?
My mom.

My cousin Linda.
That might be it.
If I am forgetting someone, please let me know and I will publicly rectify that.
What an ugly word.
Anyhoo, yes, it looks very similar to that.
I am calling it a “retro” look.
Circa 2010.

Everything on this mantel I owned.
Nothing bought to create this.
Well, nothing bought in three years.


The key sign I made in 2011.
So the mantel is circa 2011.
Therefore I will never be on the Huffington Post.
It’s called research and editing.
Two things of which I know nothing about.
Here is what my mantel looked like in 2011.


The lemons were a pleasant touch.
If it were a kitchen mantel.
And stars.
I have a thing for stars, apparently.
You can read my blog post that went along with the picture here.
I was a lot less chatty back then and more “get to the details”.
And picture quality apparently wasn’t on my radar yet.


The book page wreath was something my mama made for me.
I love that so much.
The rattan spheres I got at a little store in Geneva, Illinois, back in 1998!
I have a memory for useless info like a steel trap.
Now just ask me where my social security card is.


The metal stars I got at Goodwill years ago and have been spray-painted at least 10 times.
And no, I am not exaggerating.
I believe they may even be a different color by the publishing of this post.
The geraniums are fake and are from a craft/decor store in Peoria, Illinois.
You are a fake flower lover or hater.
There is not really any gray area.
Although, I am not a fan of using fake flowers in gardens or flower beds, or flower boxes.
You know.
OUTSIDE of the house.
Where real flowers grow.
That would be my mother-in-law.
Oh yes.


So my mantel is happy.
And I am happy.
And I truly think there will be less dust on my mantel.
Because my mantel is happy.
But I won’t know anyway because it won’t be getting dusted until August.

8 thoughts on “Tell Me Man- What Do YOU Put On Your Mantel?”

  1. I confess, I haven't dusted my mantel since November and that's when it gets it's annual dusting because that's when it gets redecorated. After Christmas, it pretty much stays the same. And, the couch gets moved for vacuuming once or twice a year because let's face it nobody really looks underneath, right?:-) And I too get motivated to go above and beyond basic chores when I'm expecting company. See, one more reason why we're besties!:-)


  2. I LOVE it!!! Your style is just perfection, seriously. I've always wanted a fireplace & mantel – I've considered finding a good wall and just putting a fake one up…I have.


  3. Your mantle looks great – who cares if you don't dust it? No one's gonna look. Unless Martha Stewart drops by. You never know – she might want to check out your gorgeous green door. :-)Um, yeah…I won't be going to that Chicago blogher conference. First of all, I don't like crowds, and secondly…whoa, the prices! There's no way I could afford that when I'm not working outside the home right now. Oh well.Have a beautiful day!


  4. Aww Sue, thank you friend! Fake fireplaces/ mantels are all the rage!Melanie- I bought my ticket when it was a lot cheaper AND I am not going to the entire conference. I just cant afford it right now either, on a stay at home momma budget but I cant wait to go to the parties and expo to meet people!


  5. I may have just woken up the children from roaring with laughter over "the lemons were a nice touch, if it were a KITCHEN mantel." Seriously. I'm not crafty, but that has never stopped me from visiting here because I think your talents in perception and humor exceed even that nifty key picture thingie (which I seriously love).xoxo Walshie


  6. Oh Mar, I feel honored that you even laugh at my posts.Because you are the funniest person I know.Big, fat, sloppy kisses!


  7. So cute I love it, I made that exact same wreath for my wedding!We would love it if you would link up at our linky party:Two Girls and a Party Live every Wednesday to Sunday. Hosted by:Dana @ This Silly Girl's LifeParrish @ Life with the Crust Cut OffWe hope to see you there!


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