Humor, Life, Marriage, Sponsored Post

How Kari Got Her Groove Back. Durex Campaign

So I mentioned to you in a post here about how my husband and I just celebrated our seven-year wedding anniversary.
And heard from so many people about their fears and apprehensions over the itching thing.
Seven year not vaginal.
The hubs and I were doing good but kind of hit a little slump as of late due to lots of things: life, kids, no time together, finances, good TV.
Admit it, if you had the chance to watch a Candice Glover win American Idol or a little nookie in the boudoir, what are you choosing?

photo courtesy of Durex



When I was approached by Durex a month ago, it couldn’t have come at a better time.
As if sent a cue from the Universe, Durex wanted us to work on our marriage.
Our intimacy.
You know, get out of our “slump”.
When my husband heard about this, it was the first time he got truly interested in my blogging.
And I mean that in the most loving way.

Durex sent us this amazing box full of goodies:


With fun things like a martini shaker, a cool aphrodisiac cookbook, little “love notes” to read to each other and even a gift card to get a couples massage at a spa near us!
There were so many amazing items in here and I love getting care packages so this made me giddy.
He and I opened it together one evening and it was fun to go through all the cool new gadgets together.
Then we closed the box and went to sleep.
I know what you are thinking.
How on EARTH could we ever be in a slump??
I know, I know, don’t be jealous.
You too can have this magic for yourselves!

So we formulated a plan:

We picked a night where we could focus on just us.
Time alone to go through the box and use some of the items they sent to us to help us with the said slump.
No interruptions from the kids.
No neighbors knocking at the door.
Just us.

Let me set the stage for our romantic evening:

My husband had just come off a four-day straight 16 hour a day work week.
It was also a Saturday so not only had he worked 12 hours this day but I had two soccer games, a five-year-old who woke up at 5 am and decided this was the day that she was gonna break in her new “whiny” voice.
The 13-year-old was at a sleepover so she was gone but the previous evening had gone to open gym at the local gymnastics place and had a falling out with one of her friends.
So that friend’s mom called me.
On our “us” night.
15 minutes after my husband got home.
To tell me that my oldest had left her daughter at said gym place without telling her.


First, we had some of the above to “set the mood”.
So then the phone call came.
After I handled that situation, we were raring to go.
Except for the fact that there was a Friends marathon on TV.
And it was the Chandler Monica wedding two-part episode season finale.

It is amazing we ever got pregnant.

We focused on two of the “Sparks” they provided to get us inspired.
And trust me, when you have been together for 11 years, you can use a little spark here and there.
More like wildfire but a spark will have to do.

The first spark we chose to focus on was massage (spark #13)
Then decided on love notes instead (spark #4).
Then back to massage ( #13 again).
Then aphrodisiac cocktails (#7).
And then back to massage (#13).

I was driving the massage campaign home.
He just wanted to get drunk.
I won.

So we took our massage oil and I gave him a massage first.
Except that I have ADHD when it comes to giving massages.
About 3 minutes in, I was all….” is it my turn yet?”
And he was all, “no. Remember, YOU wanted to do massage.”
And I was all, “yes! I wanted to GET a massage not GIVE a massage”.
And he was all, “RUB MY BACK WOMAN!”
And I was all, “RUB IT YOURSELF”.


So the massage wasn’t as relaxing and slump-defying as it sounded.


So then we used these cool cards they sent us and tried to find inspiration in these:


This should do the trick!



(crickets chirping. softly)

Me- “Are we too dumb for these questions?”
Husband- “What does mythical mean?”


29 cards later……

OKAY, so we needed to be smarter AND have more oomph and less slump.

Back to this……



We actually made a drinking game out of the cards.
Every time we heard a word we didn’t understand, take a drink!
So inadvertently it started working.
All together.
The massage, the alcohol, and the cards.

I think we all know how this ends.
And my mom reads this blog, so let’s keep it clean.

Durex thank you.
For getting us outta the slump.
And for educating us as well.
Return for part two next week where we decided to re-create our first date.
This should be a doozy.

The items I shared with you in this post were sent to me, free of charge, by Durex.
These opinions are all my own.
I am not anybody’s puppet so I will not say nice things if I don’t feel nice vibes.
Wow….kind of goes with today’s theme.
Sorry, Mom.

10 thoughts on “How Kari Got Her Groove Back. Durex Campaign”

  1. Well that was a good laugh! :-)(I applaud you for making the effort though!! It's the thought that counts, right?: )~Miss you, friend! Hope everything OUTSIDE the bedroom is going well, too! : )~(My latest milestone: 30 whole minutes … 2.5 miles! Not sure which is more exciting!)


  2. Molley- Thank you! I bow to your talent of commenting about a post about sex without actually writing…..;) Jen- Aww yeah. Just give a shout out to Durex and maybe they will hook you up!


  3. hahahaha, vibes. i get it. my parents read my blog too – in fact, my dad ONLY reads it when it hits his inbox, he's never actually seen the sight. until I can figure out how to make certain ones NOT hit his inbox, I won't be writing a post like this.good for you for getting some! (free stuff)


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