Blogging, Humor, Life

Making 2014 My Boss

I will not talk about the cold weather.
Instead, I am going to talk about Don Henley.
I was watching the Kennedy Center Honors the other night and Don Henley came on stage and I had a moment of OMG, why is he so old?? His beard is WHITE. WHITE for cripes sakes! WHEN DID DON HENLEY GET OLD?!?! I just don’t understand how Don Henley can grow older while I stay the same age.

So every year we all make resolutions.
Every year I am guilty as sin for coming up with grand plans.
And I usually stick with the plans until around June.
I blame the kids for being out of school for three months.
Then they are back in school and I kind of get back in my groove but then Halloween is around the corner.
And then Thanksgiving.
And Christmas.
But that is OK because January is around the corner and I can make a new list!
We all know how I love a list, so really this whole resolution thing is right up my alley.
It’s the execution of said list that is the problem.
This year, I have come up with some realistic resolutions.
I mean come on, there is no way I won’t EVER go to McDonald’s again.
Please, for the fish sammie’s alone.
And no, I don’t want to know what is in it.
That’s the beauty of the tasty filet o fish.
And it IS tasty.

A Grace Full Life 2014 Life Resolutions

1- Put Down the Smart Device.

I have a dirty habit in bed.
I spend a good half hour to hour on my iPad every single night.
Instead of reading a book or just having downtime.
Now, in my defense, Mike isn’t even home for a good hour after I turn in on most nights, so I have been using the tablet to keep me awake until he gets home. (such a good wife!!)
But I have started noticing something lately.
I am dumber.
I am.
I used to be much quicker with facts, useless knowledge would abound in my brain, I could tell you who the president of Israel was in a flash!
I have no idea who the mayor of my own town is.
My smart device is making me stupid.
So I need to fill my brain with words.
Lots of lovely words in 30 chapters or less.
Books will make it all better.
And will help me earn that Pulitzer I have been trying to achieve.

2-  Feedback is Good. Not Feedbag. FEEDBACK.

I mentioned on my blog last month that I was a little concerned I don’t receive a lot of comments on my blog.
I mean I get comments but with the ratio of views not comparable to the number of comments I receive, it is bothering me.

Like, I don’t know how to get people to comment on my blog.
Do I offer a giveaway?
Give the first five readers to comment, NICE COMMENTS, OF COURSE, a trip to Wisconsin?
( I can’t afford Cancun )
So I need to do some research, which in my world means “go on Pinterest” but “research” sounds so much more professional and blogger-like.

3- Blog Dammit.

I have three friends, in particular, who need to write a blog.
They know who they are.
OK, they are my besties Kari, Rebecca, and Vikki.

Kari and I go way back to our 4H days but thanks to Facebook we are now tighter than we were back then.
She is a newly single woman as her kids are now out of the nest and she is an amazing cook and DIY’er.
Shhhhh. She doesn’t know this, but she really needs a blog because her story needs to be told.

Rebecca has been my bestie for almost 20 years and is so talented when it comes to DIY, decorating, and cooking.
SO talented.
She will become an empty nester in two years and I think this might be just the release she needs.

My bestie Vikki is from my hometown and I have known her, really for forever.
She is an amazing gatekeeper to my past and the pasts of all of our classmates.
I mentioned on Facebook that I wanted any and all holiday letters.
I love me a holiday letter FULL of juicy morsels.
What did she do?
She sent me a Christmas letter with every single month of 2013 detailed in a paragraph or less.
That girl needs a blog.
So be on the lookout for three new and AMAZING blogs to read because you know I am gonna pimp the crap out of these fabulous women.

4- Watch a Popular Television Series WHILE It Is Popular. Downton Abbey Doesn’t Count.

I have never seen Scandal.
Or Homeland.
Or even West Wing.
The point is, I have never seen a show WHILE it was popular.
Or even 15 years later, apparently.
I am hooked on Downton Abbey right now but it is in the UK so it isn’t counting for this list.
I need to find one good old American current television show so I know what in tha HECK people are talking about on social media.
Does American Idol count??
I know.
It never does.

5- Try Nutella.

Why do you ask?
Why the heck not?
EVERYONE is pinning these amazing Nutella recipes and I just didn’t give it a fair shake.
I think I might have been afraid to try it because….and this is embarrassing on many levels…..I confused Nutella with Vegemite.
They aren’t even spelled similarly but for some reason, I got them confused and didn’t want to try it.
I am not a sheep, I reasoned!!
I don’t need to follow the pack!!
This is the year I understand what the Nutella hubbub is all about.
And maybe give Vegemite a try too.

6- Break Up with Wal-Mart.

And it will be a messy breakup.
I have had a love-hate relationship with Wal-Mart for YEARS.
Love the low prices, hate how the floor staff at MY Wal-Mart seems to hate humanity.
Or hate customers.
Or both.
I have to say, I love three of my cashiers.
I do.
They see me coming and we talk like old friends.
The hubs even asked me last month if I knew the girl who came up and hugged me.
Yes, she rings me up every other week and is in nursing school and her boyfriend just asked her to marry her.
But after the recent death of a Wal-Mart employee at a Black Friday event (the second in two years) I want to break up with Wal-Mart the corporation.
I want to shop at local stores, farmer’s markets and keep my money in the pockets of businesses that are close to me.
Or just shop at Meijer when it comes in August.
Because farmers’ markets and local stores are PRICEY.

7- But, Brownies Don’t Make You Feel Bad About Yourself. Brownies Love You.

Every other Friday….sometimes every Friday depending on the kind of week we have had here…..I bake brownies.
Because I deserve them.
I do.
They are my “crack”.
I need to quit that stuff.
Brownies are made to be a TREAT.
Not an every-week luxury.
I need to fill that void with something else.
Like Cheetos.
Or wine.


I need to exercise.
I do.
My weight is all over the place like a kid on sugar.
Probably because of #7.
And a little of #4.
And maybe # 5.
I am not a self-motivated person when it comes to exercise only.
I need other people to get me to run.
Or walk.
Or just even get up in the morning.
So I am thinking of joining a little gym near my home.
But it needs to be cheap.
With no men.
Or mirrors.
Otherwise, I am outtie.

9- That’s Just the Way It Is. Some Things Will Never Change.

In 2014, I want to listen to more Bruce Hornsby and less Lady Gaga.
Not that there is anything wrong with Gaga but I just feel the need to reconnect with my inner 80s soft rock love child in this 44th year of my life.
That and Bruce Hornsby is kick ass.

10- McHaters Need Not Apply

OK, I need to lower my Filet o Fish quota.
I love McDonald’s.
I really do.
I worked there for two years in high school and could give a crap that I got paid $3.25 an hour.
I got free McDonald’s lunch for every shift I worked.
And I was one happy gal.
McDonald’s has a soft spot in my heart (I feel an artery joke coming on).
It does.
Mom used to let us get McD’s as a treat on the way home from a Dr. appointment…I know how ironic that sounds.
But it was special and we loved it.
My kids love McDonald’s too….although my five-year-old chooses Subway over McDonald’s.

We don’t eat a lot of fast food but I would say at least three times a month.
But just because my children want McDonald’s doesn’t mean I need to eat it too
So in 2014, I am stepping away a little from the McChicken.
Everything in moderation.
And if you don’t feed your kids McDonald’s, I don’t judge you.
Just as you don’t judge me because I do.

See you in 2015 with the results.
Although I might not be as happy because no brownies, filet o fish and I will be sore from the gym.
But Bruce will see me through it.
Won’t you Bruce?


Bruce Hornsby will make sure 2014 is a great year!


28 thoughts on “Making 2014 My Boss”

  1. Loving this entire post. I am nodding and agreeing with you on most of it. I also wonder how to get more blog comments, but then I've been thinking – why am I writing. Comments help you know that there are people out there, but I don't want to get caught up in that. I also need to get healthier. Not focusing on numbers so much, just being able to get up and down the stairs without gasping for air. I'm also trying to let my gadgets go. Like seriously if I can wittle it down to like an hour a day I would be happy. Why am I so plugged in? What do I think I'm missing?


    1. Laila, you and I need to go on a retreat where there are no smart devices, no fish sammies and lots of wine!Do you think Chicago Parent will pay for it??We can say it is "research"!


  2. I read the graphic, too. First of all, I do not think that brownies once every week or two is so bad. Once or twice a day may have been a bit much. Secondly, you are funny. I laughed out loud a couple times while reading this. I'm so happy to know you.


    1. See, this is why I need you in my life.BROWNIES IT IS TODAY!!!I am so happy to know you too,You have no idea.


  3. You knew I would read it……I read everything…..sometimes twice……Pimped out…WOOOOHOOOO…..been a long time since I've been pimped out….that might be the final push for me 🙂


  4. I read the graphic, too, for the record. : )~And I have a friend who comes over every Bachelor (or Bachelorette, depending on the season) night — that translates to every Monday night if you're not into the Bachelor : )~ . . . and we have brownies EVERY time. The new season starts tonight. Bring on the brownies. Ugh. I want to say no . . . but I just can't. And I'm a Mickey D's fan, too. {sigh}And in other related news — my New Year's Resolution is to DRINK MORE WINE. Not kidding. Miss you!Bec


  5. Hey Kari…….there is someone from Lexington who is one of the bachelorette's this season. Chelsie Webster…..she graduated a few years after us…..just a 'few'….like 20….but she's still a Minuteman 🙂


  6. Love your list!!! I don't watch popular shows either, soooo…. we're cool. I think it's a nice way of saying " I can provide myself with," oh, um. I don't know. But you aren't alone. And you aren't missing anything with Nutella, jump straight to Almond Butter, cause that's where it's at for 2014. ps. I bet if you moved your red tricycle image/ widget further up in the sidebar, or maybe put a square logo image with your blog name below it, THAT would show up in all of your fb feeds instead. I know how that bothers you ;o)


    1. I love your comments so much.You must know this.Make it YOUR 2014 to always ALWAYS comment on my blog.OK?? ;)Heading to your blog now to do the same.AND THANK YOU FOR THE TIP!!


  7. I love your posts! One night when I couldn't sleep, I started reading your blog. I woke the entire household, I was laughing so hard. I wish I had left a comment. I might be on my way to Wisconsin right now…


    1. I love comments like these.Made. My. Week.Mailing your tickets to Green Bay as I write this…….;)


  8. I'm a regular reader, but first time commenter. I read your graphic box 🙂 Whenever I need a good laugh or a good chill-out, this is where I come! Regarding #3, why don't you let your three friends each do a guest blog post on your blog and maybe they'll get the inspiration to do their own blogs! Teresa in Texas and Nutella Lover


    1. Oh Teresa, you know how to make my day.Thank you for the kind words AND thank you so much for the great idea!I just emailed Kari, Rebecca and Vikki and told them about it!!!


  9. I read the info graphic, and I also have a soft spot/addiction to McD. I worked at one (shift manager) through college. However the one that just opened down the street from us is not doing the franchise any favors they literally haven't gotten a single order right yet and once I had to wait 20 min for my wrong order in drive thru.


  10. I'm here for your #2. And on my list is to be better at commenting on blogs this year!! Even though I didn't make a resolution, I haven't played Candy Crush since Jan. 1. I've also cleared my kitchen sink every day since Jan. 1. Is there a connection there? I am totally with you on #4. It has never happened. I'm always at least a year or more late. My crack is Skinny Pop. The amount of Skinny Pop I can eat takes the Skinny out of Pop, but whatevs. I'm sure your one piece of brownie is better than my entire bag of Skinny Pop. Finally, I WENT to a Bruce Hornsby concert in back in the days. Mandoline Rain fans UNITE! 🙂 Happy New Year! (Sorry for the essay!)


    1. I love that Bruce has a following!!! Skinny Pop is so good. I can eat an entire bag. Wait. That's not good.


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