Instead, I am going to talk about Don Henley.
He is old.
His beard is WHITE. WHITE for cripes sakes!
WHEN DID DON HENLEY GET OLD?!?!
I just don’t understand how Don Henley can grow older while I stay the same age.
Every year I am guilty as sin for coming up with grand plans.
And I usually stick with the plans until around June.
I blame the kids being out of school for three months.
Then they are back in school and I kind of get back in my groove but then Halloween is around the corner.
And then Thanksgiving.
But that is OK because January is around the corner and I can make a new list!
Its the execution of said list that is the problem.
This year, I have come up with some resolutions that are realistic.
I mean come on, there is no way I won’t EVER go to McDonald’s again.
Please, for the fish sammie’s alone.
And no, I don’t want to know what is in it.
That’s the beauty of the tasty filet o fish.
And it IS tasty.
1- Put Down the Smart Device.
I have a dirty habit in bed.
I spend a good half hour to hour on my iPad every single night.
Instead of reading a book or just having downtime.
Now, in my defense, the hubs isn’t even home for a good hour after I turn in on most nights, so I have been using the tablet to keep me awake until he gets home. (such a good wife!!)
But I have started noticing something lately.
I am dumber.
I used to be much quicker with facts, useless knowledge would abound in my brain, I could tell you who the president of Israel is in a flash!
I have no idea who the mayor of my own town is.
My smart device is making me stupid.
So I need to fill my brain with words.
Lots of lovely words in 30 chapters or less.
Books will make it all better.
And will help me earn that Pulitzer I have been trying to achieve.
2- Feedback is Good. Not Feedbag. FEEDBACK.
I mentioned on my blog last month that I was a little concerned I don’t receive a lot of comments on my blog.
I mean I get comments but with the ratio of views not comparable to the number of comments I receive, it is bothering me.
Like, I don’t know how to get people to comment on my blog.
Do I offer a giveaway?
Give the first five readers to comment, NICE COMMENTS, OF COURSE, a trip to Wisconsin?
( I can’t afford Cancun )
So I need to do some research, which in my world means “go on Pinterest” but “research” sounds so much more professional and blogger-like.
3- Blog Dammit.
I have three friends, in particular, who need to write a blog.
They know who they are.
OK, they are my besties Kari, Rebecca, and Vikki.
Kari and I go way back to our 4H days but thanks to Facebook we are now tighter than we were back then.
She is a newly single woman as her kids are now out of the nest and she is an amazing cook and DIY’er.
Shhhhh. She doesn’t know this, but she really needs a blog because her story needs to be told.
Rebecca has been my bestie for almost 20 years and is so talented when it comes to DIY, decorating and cooking.
She will become an empty nester in two years and I think this might be just the release she needs.
My bestie Vikki is from my hometown and I have known her, really for forever.
She is an amazing gatekeeper to my past and the pasts of all of our classmates.
I mentioned on Facebook that I wanted any and all holiday letters.
I love me a holiday letter FULL of juicy morsels.
What did she do?
She sent me a Christmas letter with every single month of 2013 detailed in a paragraph or less.
That girl needs a blog.
So be on the lookout for three new and AMAZING blogs to read because you know I am gonna pimp the crap out of these fabulous women.
4- Watch a Popular Television Series WHILE It Is Popular. Downton Abbey Doesn’t Count.
I have never seen Scandal.
Or even West Wing.
Point is, I have never seen a show WHILE it was popular.
Or even 15 years later, apparently.
I am hooked on Downton Abbey right now but it is in the UK so it isn’t counting for this list.
I need to find one good old American current television show so I know what in tha HECK people are talking about on social media.
Does American Idol count??
It never does.
5- Try Nutella.
Why do you ask?
Why the heck not?
EVERYONE is pinning these amazing Nutella recipes and I just didn’t give it a fair shake.
I think I might have been afraid to try it because….and this is embarrassing on many levels…..I confused Nutella with Vegemite.
DO YOU NOW SEE HOW MY BRAIN WORKS????
They aren’t even spelled similarly but for some reason, I got them confused and didn’t want to try it.
I am not a sheep, I reasoned!!
I don’t need to follow the pack!!
This is the year I understand what the Nutella hubbub is all about.
And maybe give Vegemite a try too.
6- Break Up with Wal-Mart.
And it will be a messy breakup.
I have had a love-hate relationship with Wal-Mart for YEARS.
Love the low prices, hate how the floor staff at MY Wal-Mart seems to hate humanity.
Or hate customers.
I have to say, I love three of my cashiers.
They see me coming and we talk like old friends.
The hubs even asked me last month if I knew the girl who came up and hugged me.
Yes, she rings me up every other week and is in nursing school and her boyfriend just asked her to marry her.
YES, I GET CLOSE TO PEOPLE IN RETAIL.
But after the recent death of a Wal-Mart employee at a Black Friday event (the second in two years) I want to break up with Wal-Mart the corporation.
I want to shop at local stores, farmers markets and keep my money in the pockets of businesses that are close to me.
Or just shop at Meijer when it comes in August.
Because farmers markets and local stores are PRICEY.
7- But, Brownies Don’t Make You Feel Bad About Yourself. Brownies Love You.
Every other Friday….sometimes every Friday depending on the kind of week we have had here…..I bake brownies.
Because I deserve them.
They are my “crack”.
I need to quit that stuff.
Brownies are made to be a TREAT.
Not an every week luxury.
I need to fill that void with something else.
8- 1,2,3 KICK….GASP GASP GASP
I need to exercise.
My weight is all over the place like a kid on sugar.
Probably because of #7.
And a little of #4.
And maybe # 5.
I am not a self-motivated person when it comes to exercise only.
I need other people to get me to run.
Or just even get up in the morning.
So I am thinking of joining a little gym near my home.
But it needs to be cheap.
With no men.
Otherwise, I am outtie.
9- That’s Just the Way It Is. Some Things Will Never Change.
In 2014, I want to listen to more Bruce Hornsby and less Lady Gaga.
Not that there is anything wrong with Gaga but I just feel the need to reconnect with my inner 80s soft rock love child in this 44th year of my life.
That and Bruce Hornsby is kickin.
10- McHaters Need Not Apply
OK, I need to lower my Filet o Fish quota.
I love McDonald’s.
I really do.
I worked there for two years in high school and could give a crap that I got paid $3.25 an hour.
I got free McDonald’s lunch for every shift I worked.
And I was one happy gal.
McDonald’s has a soft spot in my heart (I feel an artery joke coming on).
Mom used to let us get McD’s as a treat on the way home from a Dr. appointment…I know how ironic that sounds.
But it was special and we loved it.
My kids love McDonald’s too….although my five year old chooses Subway over McDonald’s.
The tests are out to see if she is really my child.
We don’t eat a lot of fast food but I would say at least three times a month.
But just because my children want McDonald’s doesn’t mean I need to eat it too
So in 2014, I am stepping away a little from the McChicken.
Everything in moderation.
And if you don’t feed your kids McDonald’s, I don’t judge you.
Just as you don’t judge me because I do.
See you in 2015 with the results.
Although I might not be as happy because no brownies, filet o fish and I will be sore from the gym.
But Bruce will see me through it.
Won’t you Bruce?