Blogging, Chicago, Humor, Life, Marriage, Neat Freak

Why My Husband Doesn’t Mind If I Have a Mistress- Dyson Review

I recently migrated my blog and some of the pictures didn’t make the move. So imagine pictures where captions are. 

And that mistress has a name.
Dyson Animal.

Able to suck up food my children leave on every livin’ space of my home in a single bound.
Oh yes, it is not only a vacuum.
It is a superhero.

I love my new Dyson!

Meet the Dyson Digital Slim DC59 Animal.
If you didn’t already know this about me, you will now.
I am a neat freak.
FREAK.
Constantly wiping surfaces, scrubbing orifices and sanitizing everything living and non-living in its path.
The bane of my existence when it comes to cleaning has always been floors.
Especially in the winter.
I probably spend a good hour and a half a week JUST cleaning and vacuuming the floors.
It is right about now that you are realizing we can’t be friends, isn’t it?

So when I got the chance to visit the Dyson offices in Chicago in December with my bestie Marianne, I was stoked.
No.
REALLY.
It was like the cleaning mothership was calling me home.
I felt like I was going to the White House.
Or Graceland.
Yes, more Graceland than the White House.

This you need to know, I have never owned a Dyson before.

I am aware I am somewhat of an anomaly at least with those who I am close to.
Meaning I am basically the only person I know who doesn’t have a Dyson.
I mean, I knew they were supposed to be faboo and all but I had no clue.
In the dark, as it pertains to floor cleaning and maintenance, apparently.

Until I got to test run one at the offices in December.
It was like one of those movies where the people are on the beach running in slow motion towards each other.
It felt like that.
I had that moment.
With a vacuum cleaner.

So when on the coldest day recorded in Chicago history, this landed on my doorstep, I was giddy.

My new Dyson!

The Animal.
Grrrowwwlll.
Sorry.

I spent exactly one hour, the day it arrived,  hitting every single nook and cranny of my home with this baby.
I may have even been so giddy that I danced with my Dyson.
Yes.
Noooo I didn’t take any pictures.
PLEASE.
OF COURSE, I took pictures.

I LOVE MY DYSON!

This puppy sucked the crap off every livin’ space in my home.
I couldn’t believe how much junk it was picking up.
For a neat freak that was exhilarating and a little upsetting all at once.

It even provides a little wind machine that led to an impromptu photo shoot:

Only Dyson makes me do pictures like this!

Little known fact- I have never EVER been able to look sexy.
While trying to look sexy.

It always looks like this:

 

look at me being a supermodel Dyson!

OHHH I GOT SOMETHING IN MY EYE!!!!

WAIT!
DID I MENTION THIS ALSO HAS A HANDHELD VACUUM???
I KNOWWWWWWW!!!

You can detach this puppy at the top to create a cool handheld vacuum for those hard to reach spaces.
I am not doing it justice though.
You can head here to watch the cool video on how the Digital Slim DC 59 got started and how it WILL change your life.



Disclosure: I received a Dyson vacuum at no expense but these words and ideas are all mine.

20 thoughts on “Why My Husband Doesn’t Mind If I Have a Mistress- Dyson Review”

  1. You crack me up!Love, love my Dyson. I've had it for 3 years and I'm still in love with it.I get excited when the clear container gets filled up with lint, dust bunnies etc. Weird? Yes. Totally.

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  2. We have a Dyson, and we love it. This animal thing looks pretty neat-o though. (yes, I just say Neat-o, you're welcome).

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  3. My mom got that same vacuum this Christmas. I will have to tell her to use it for sexy, wind-blown hair photos like yours.

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  4. I don't even have a vacuum. Not a real one – I have a shop vac. And I rarely use it. My entire house is hardwood flooring. I use a broom. I now find myself wanting a Dyson! I laughed out loud when I read, "It is right about now that you are realizing we can't be friends, isn't it?" because I was thinking exactly that! You will just have to love me AND my dust bunnies! 🙂

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  5. My Dysons are consistently full of dog hair, whiich is much better than my house being full of dog hair. Now all I need is a Dyson that does not require me to stand behind it and I'm all set.

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  6. Have you used the spider-sucking extension bit that also sucks up cobwebs in the corner of your living room??? The sh*t is THE BOMB!! Love you, love your Dyson.

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  7. OMG, a Dyson virgin? Who would have thunk. I seriously love mine. I have had it for four years and every time I vacuum I still have to show my husband how much crap is in the dirt bin thingie. It still amazes me!

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  8. I am plotting how to steal your mistress away…I have things to suck up too!These photos are going to keep me laughing for days!

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