Blogging, Friends, Humor

How I Write. OR How NOT to Write

I recently migrated my blog and some of the pictures didn’t make the move. So imagine pictures where captions are. 
I am participating in a cool blog tour today!
Don’t know what that is?
Neither do I.
But always one to expand my writing horizons, I gratefully agreed to be a part of this when my friend Shannon asked me if I was interested.
Head over to her amazing blog to check out her answers.
I want to be Shannon when I grow up.
Except for that, she is three years younger than me.
So that made no sense whatsoever.
Maybe read HER blog instead of mine.

1- What Am I Working On? 

Here is brutal honesty, I was going to take a screenshot of my dashboard for Blogger to show you how many drafts I have right now.
Except that I don’t remember how to do that.
Oh, I am aware of how little I know.
Now YOU are aware of it.
This is how my mind works: I take pieces of paper and write random things on them.
Exhibit A:


My writing notes

The above paper was in my six year old’s coloring drawer.
Because it was AS we were coloring pictures of sunsets and playgrounds and ice cream that I came up with ideas.
To write about.
Isn’t this how A FAMOUS AUTHOR CAN’T THINK OF ONE NOW got her start?
I left that in there so you could actually see how my brain works. 

I think of ideas for my posts while waiting at soccer practice, while in the shower, at the checkout line in the grocery store.
Then I scribble them to myself on gum wrappers or text them to myself.
THEN I start a draft with a title.
The title is always the first thing I write and for some reason, that sets the tone for the entire post.
Or the post sets the tone and I have to go back and change the title.
It’s an exact science as you can see.

2- How does my work differ from others in its genre? 

I used to have a “genre”.
When I first started writing, I started out in the DIY genre for the first two years exclusively.
But over the past two years, I have morphed.
That sounded so cool.
I started writing like how I live my life.
Not at all perfect.
A scary basket of randomness packed into tiny little sentences.
I started letting it all hang out and found my voice.
To answer the question, I don’t know what my “niche” is.
If you like botched DIY projects, chevron, talk of pooping and farting and lots and lots of grammatical errors, chances are you are gonna love my blog.

3- Why do I write what I do?

Wow, this is a great question.
Just kidding.
When I first started writing here, I really just wrote what I wanted to talk about.
Which is really what a blog is all about.
A personal journal.
That mass amounts of people can read.
But the longer I write here, I notice that I also write what I think my readers will want to read.
Like it is this ongoing personal dialogue between me and you.
Or you and I.
Yes, that was probably the correct way to set that sentence up.

4- How does my writing process work?

I didn’t even know I had a writing process until I read this and thought, ” I need to have a writing process??”
I think I alluded to most of my process in question number one.
But I, like Shannon, get distracted.
A lot.
Mostly by but not limited to:

I am hungry. I need to eat. Will write later.
I have my period and hate the world. I need to formulate a plan to ban menstruation everywhere. Will write later.
When will there be a Gilmore Girls movie? I need to write a letter to someone in Hollywood. Will write later.
Why am I not a millionaire yet? I need to look into “saving money” in a thing called a “bank”. Will write later.

This is how I get a post written, in a nutshell.

– come up with an idea while driving one or more of my children to an event.

– tell my oldest daughter to “text mommy these words, please: diaper. poop. blood bath.”

– come home and see text that says “diaper poop blood bath” and go OMG WHO IS STALKING ME AND SENDING ME THESE AWFUL TEXT MESSAGES?!?!?

– After a Prozac half a bag of Oreos, calm down and write on random scraps of paper “diaper, poop, blood bath. WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS EVEN MEAN??

– tuck paper in my calendar and get back to it three weeks later.

My process is the opposite of a process.
I looked up the antonym of “process” and one of the words was “ignorance”.
Fitting, really.

I usually start a draft when I come up with an idea.
I then give the idea a title and if I have time, I start brainstorming.
I spit all the ideas out onto the page, whether they make sense or not.
Then I go through everything and put it in order or delete it.
And lots and lots of spellcheck goes on because I am a fast but messy typer.
One time, when my spell check wasn’t working, I literally yelled at my computer, DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY?
I wish I was making this up.

Next week, my friend Erin will be writing about her writing process.
Erin had faith in me to be her co-star in her American Blogger farce so I wanted to share the love with her.
Head over to her blog and give some love.


15 thoughts on “How I Write. OR How NOT to Write”

  1. Ohhh I love this and I'm scared by it all at the same time. Which means it's something I'm totally supposed to do. Thanks for tagging me. Hopefully I won't embarrass you. 🙂


  2. I am so excited to be doing this! The tips from other writers has been great I hope I have something to offer 🙂


  3. I am so excited about doing this! If booze (Thirsty Thursday) and DIY fails qualify then I can pull this off. I hope. In all seriousness I have loved reading everyone's writing tricks!


  4. You make me laugh. And now I really want to read the post that will come out of the "diaper, poop, blood bath" text. Please, don't be anyone but you when you grow up. You are pretty awesome.


  5. I swear I'm not just hear for the pooping and farting, although it does make me feel more at home…specifically at the dinner table…wish I was kidding! Much love!


    1. I love that you are here for that.YOU represent what I adore about my readers.Much love back!


  6. My favorite part of this post series is discovering that there are others who have a "process" that is just as non-processy as mine. (no offense) For my post, I might just link to yours and call it good.


  7. I'm laughing so hard. I once found a note on my phone that said "She said whuuuuuuut about he whuuuuuuuuut???" It was obviously for a post, but I seriously could not decode that for the life of me. Probably because it was like 6 months later before I actually FOUND it in my notes.


  8. Hey! I do the same with the title business! I agree it set sets the tone for the piece. I've tried to wait on it and take a "funny" part of the post to be the title, but that hasn't actually happened yet. I enjoyed reading this, Kari! You always make me laugh. 🙂


    1. I love that you are catching up on your blog reading!Can't wait to get lunch again soon!


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