Blogging, Humor

How To Make a Blog Header Without Really Trying

You will be rewarded if you read to the end. That is all I will say. 

First published June 30th, 2014


Recently, I had been noticing other blogs’ headers.

I mean, DOESN’T, EVERYONE?

A few days later, I happened to be on Etsy and I noticed that they actually sell blog header packages.
I guess I didn’t know there was a market for such things. The prices were like $30 for a “package” but I didn’t inquire as to what a “package” was. Tee hee. Sorry, bathroom humor.

By the way, for those less in-the-know, package is another word for penis.


Then a few days later, I saw a blog post by my friend Jeanette who created a really cool header on her blog using only Pic Monkey, and I was like wait, WHAT. You can do that?!

*Side note- for those who aren’t bloggers, it will get more interesting, I promise. Or not.

But I promise to stop talking shop and start making bathroom jokes for you. HANG TIGHT. Until then, here is a blogger to English dictionary for you:

Pic Monkey = a free-ish photo editing site

Blogger = a free blogging platform

WordPress = a more advanced-ish somewhat free-ish blogging platform

Header = the stuff at the top of a blog where the title sits

and for review:

Package = penis

 


So Jeanette’s header was quite lovely and I decided that I didn’t want to pay $30 so I thought I could also maybe probably do that too.

2020 note- I clicked on the link to her blog and couldn’t find the header nor the post. But do go to her blog because she is a good friend and cool art blogger.

But I put it on the back burner of my brain because that is how my brain works. So I stuck with my ugly-ass Blogger header for a few more months.

I just needed motivation and that motivation came to me in the form of a gift. I received the cutest cartoon caricature of myself as a gift for my birthday from my brother and sister-in-law.

I had never even thought about something like this! But I guess most people don’t go around trying to find a cartoon character of themselves.  And to that, I say WHY THE HELL NOT?
Meet “Kari”…

 

 

What a good hair day I was having!
And I look a lot like Ellen DeGeneres, which I am not sure how I feel about.
My sister-in-law sent in the headshot from Listen To Your Mother here:

2020 note- I cannot find the original picture because a lot of pictures didn’t transfer from my old blog, sad face. So enjoy the cartoon caricature of my first ever headshot. 


I love that my sister-in-law used this picture because it will always remind me of my first professional headshot. I never ever want to forget this experience. I mean, I know I won’t ever forget this experience but it is cool that I will always have this picture to remind me that I had a time in the spotlight once.

2020 note- It’s a good thing I have the cartoon to remind me.


For first time visitors, this is how my blog works: I ramble.
If you aren’t keen on that kind of blog jive, you might not be happy here.
You may want a more professional tutorial and I get that completely. 

Are they gone?

BRING OUT THE BEER BONG, RUBBER SHEETS, AND THE TOGAS!

This is how you can create a header on your Blogger blog (I don’t “do” WordPress because I don’t “understand” WordPress)

2020 note- I guess I got over that fear. Look at me doing hard things! Prepare yourself for THE worst tutorial on how to create a header for your Blogger blog. 

 

Step 1- Go to Pic Monkey and open up the link at the top that says Design

2020 note- Apparently 2014 Kari also didn’t know how to take a screenshot. I already have a headache. 

 

Step 2-Once you click the word Design it will give you some options on the sidebar.

 

Step 3- One of such options is Canvas Color. You can pick any color you would like but I chose either white or transparent.

I originally picked white but when I went to add it to the blog, you could see a big gap. I mean, it really didn’t look that bad but I have serious perfection problems (2020 note-as you can tell from this tutorial) and it bothered me so I went back and checked off the Transparent canvas box. Now you can’t see the line at all.

 

 

Step 4- The next option I picked is size.
I found this tutorial on Pinterest which pointed me in the right direction for Blogger header sizes.
900 x 200 is the typical size for most Blogger blogs.
You know what? Read her blog for more detail and quite honestly maybe just go there and don’t come back here because I am sure she will direct you better than I could.
But DO come back when you are done with the header.
Because I am a hoot.

2020 note- I can’t believe I told my readers to go to another blog MID-TUTORIAL to get instructions. Yes, I can. 

You have resized the canvas to fit the top of your blog and you chose the color of the canvas.
NOW you are ready to design your header, which is where the real fun begins.

 

 

What step are we on? Anyhoo, I focused on what I wanted my title font to look like.
There are lots of fonts I love to use on Pic Monkey.
Channel and Mission Script are two of my favorites.
But I used Ostrich Sans Inline for the current title.

 

 

Which isn’t the font above.
Because if this were a good tutorial, I would have taken pictures of the ACTUAL FONT I USED.
By the way, when you check the box off that says TRANSPARENT, the background will look like above, little squares.
Which when you do this without a tutorial, will freak you out to the point of quivering. Then you will be questioning yourself:
WILL THERE BE SQUARES IN THE BACKGROUND?
WHY IS PIC MONKEY MESSING WITH MY BRAIN?
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SEE THE SQUARES?
HOW MANY MULTIVITAMINS DID I TAKE TODAY?
AM I HIGH?


The squares are there, apparently, to prove to you that yes indeed it is transparent.
The squares are there to f**k with you.
After you choose your font and get it all set with sizing, you might want to add a little something extra.
For example, mustaches, or bowler hats, or cartoon pictures of yourself.
With big balls.

 

 

I happen to like big balls.
Because of that, I thought it would be fun to have big balls all over my blog header.

Some call them circles.
Others call them orbs.
If I am choosing, I say balls.
If my mom were choosing, she would say circles.
But she doesn’t write this blog so balls it is.

 

 

Step ten? Ten sounds good. Click on the word Overlays on the left side where the pretty butterfly is.
The butterfly holds all of the balls. I mean, not literally.

After clicking on the butterfly, then click on Geometric to go specifically to the balls.
The default balls color is black but you can change your balls to any color of the rainbow.
You can make your balls red, you can make your balls green, hell, you can even make your balls blue. Big blue balls are my favorite.

There are so many options from this point and that is why it is so much damn fun.
Play around with your balls, your triangles, your rectangles, your stars, but most definitely play around with your balls.

It was after I published this that I realized I was having so much fun playing around with my balls that I never told you how I plugged in my cartoon self! My cartoon was saved to my computer as a picture file. All I did was add it to the canvas as a photo and voila! 

I had so much fun with all of this that I made FOUR headers.

 

This one had balls to the left.

The balls-less version.

Balls to the right; I minimized the blue ball and maximized the pink ball. I guess I don’t like big blue balls as much as I anticipated. Hmm. I am finding out a lot about myself within a tutorial post. This is why I LOVE blogging.

 

The third and fourth look almost identical but as you can see, I kind of went nuts with the balls.

IF YOU AREN’T LAUGHING RIGHT NOW, YOU HAVE NO SOUL.


I hope I helped you decide that even you can change your blog header and you don’t need to be a web designer to do so.
Or I helped you make the decision to never follow any kind of tutorial on this blog again.
Yes, probably the second one.

 

37 thoughts on “How To Make a Blog Header Without Really Trying”

  1. Oh my gosh! Now I have no excuse for not having a relatively cool header (meaning it will not be as cool as yours)…Change scares me sometimes and I am indecisive, so I am hoping I can talk my 14 year old into believing this is the most fun she could possibly have this summer. I mean, she totally have my best interests at heart, right?

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    1. You can do this!!!Change scares me to death. Tell your 14 year old to create your header for you.Now THAT is some fun.

      Like

  2. Your header is awesome, but that is not why I love this post. I love this post because it made me laugh. Loudly.Balls.

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  3. YEAH BLOGGER BLOGS RULE!Or something like that.I don't "get" WordPress either. Not that I've tried to.Your tutorials sound like my recipes.Which means we must be friends.Is it weird that after reading your blog that I tend to think in short sentences?Watch out, blogger – Imma make mahself a new header. Thanks for the most awesome tutorial, Kari!

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  4. Dang. You just might motivate me to update mine. I love picmonkey and use it all the time… but often don't use the creations on my actual blog. Guess I better get off my rear. your picture is awesome and amazing job on the header!

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  5. You are too funny Kari girl. Just to make sure, you checked to see if you could use the illustration for anything you want, right? The last thing you want is small print in the artist release… I also got a hair up my butt about blog design over the weekend and made some updates. =)

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  6. I'm on WP, but I may try this. And I'm making it my mission in life to teach you how to take a screenshot, so you don't have to actually take photos of your screen. Which is totally adorable.

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  7. Like I said, I LOVE IT! I used PicMonkey for my header, too. But that was a bazillion years ago. Maybe I need a new do, too. I'd read your tutorial any day. You always make me LOL!

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  8. Thanks for the tips! It is so thoughtful of you to let us all use your caricature and everything! Wait, did you mean for us to use our own pics?

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  9. All the time I have been on PicMonkey and I have never even remotely checked out what Design does? Now I feel pretty stupid. I love the new header and I love the cartoon you. Wonder if the cartoon people could do me, but only thirty pounds lighter and with my roots colored in?

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    1. I want to be a supermodel in my next cartoon.Maybe I will send in a picture of Gisele Bundchen.Or someone I like.

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  10. Ha ha ha…balls. I like #1 cuz there's lots of balls and #4 cuz there's big balls. Now who sounds 10 years old?! Anyway, your header is awesome. I've always made mine in PicMonkey but I like how you used images instead of photographs. Guess what I'm going to be fooling around with tonight, thanks to you? No, not balls…with my blogger header. (I move furniture and stuff all the time, too…but I think you have me beat with re-doing the same room 3 times in one year!)

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    1. In fairness to myself, I haven't moved it around since last year.That is a record for me!Have fun!!

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  11. Thanks for the great tutorial and for making me laugh! I've been wanting to change my header but was afraid I'd screw it up (my mother would have said "mess it up.") My blog is also too narrow. Any tips for fixing that?

    Like

    1. Are you on Blogger? If so, go to Template, then Customize.Click on Adjust Widths to the left and that is where you can widen your blog.If it can't be widened any more, I am not sure what to tell you.Good luck!

      Like

  12. I love your header!!! And I love your little face up there on it- you did an awesome job, and thanks for the link to me. I like balls to, but prefer to demurely call them dots. And then giggle behind my hand.

    Like

    1. I am in love with Pic Monkey for things like this. This was before Canva was around, which is actually more of a favorite because that is free. Sadly, Pic Monkey isn’t anymore. But it makes you feel like a graphic designer. I have come a long way since 2014. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I miss Picmonkey but left when it was no longer free. That might be where I made my blog header–I honestly can’t remember and I’m not even sure I have it anymore. I did create a watermark for my photos too and thankfully didn’t use it very often now that I have switched blog names.

    Liked by 1 person

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