Blogging, Humor

Flat Kari in Arizona. Margarita’s, Tragic Security Snafu’s and Moving Walkways

I know a lot of you beautiful people might not follow my Facebook page and WHY IS THAT???
No, it’s ok.
Not really.
My Listen To Your Mother video went live two days ago, you can see it here
I am so proud of this and wanted to share it with all of you here.
Because you knew me when I had three readers and blogged about my shoes.
I love yous guys. 
Hello friends, it has been a while since we have seen Flat Kari.
She is okay, I know you were concerned.
I got more concerned emails about her than I ever have in my life.
You realize she is a piece of cardboard, right?
Just checking.
The next stop is Arizona.
My sister in law Kristy travels a lot for her job and I got to go along and pretend to be all grown up-y and travel-y.
Those words are why my someday editor will HATE me.Here is Kristy:

Kari was originally supposed to have an exotic adventure to India, but
when her visa wasn’t processed in time, her trip changed to Scottsdale
(yay for not having to take a 19-hour flight!) 
Flat Kari’s
flights to Phoenix were on time, she was prepared for the long flights
ahead. Gum? Check. Boarding pass? Check. People magazine with Kimye
wedding photos?
Check. But Flat Kari’s not so sure about that Kardashian chick.
Wee! I love to fly! And read People! Except when it’s about the Kardashians. Shiver.

Onboard and Flat Kari is loving the view. Weeeeee! 

I really do this on flights! Look at the clouds! Wow! WE ARE SO HIGH!! WHY IS NO ONE ELSE LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW?!?!??!
Moving on to OK magazine, Flat
Kari is pretty certain Duchess Kate isn’t preggers. 
I am more interested in seeing Beyonce’s sister hit JayZ. Because HOLY CRAP GIRL.
It’s been a long day. Time to dig in on some chips, salsa, and margaritas! Flat Kari decided to shed her Midwestern
winter wear in favor of a sundress to handle the 114-degree heat. Chevron, of course. And in a
sombrero. Because she’s feeling that margarita. 
OMG, where did I get that sombrero?!?!?!? AND sundress!!!!

in Scottsdale, Flat Kari worked overnights, which meant she could catch
some rays by the pool in the afternoon! Margarita, please!

Do Arizona people not use the pool??? Oh yes, it’s prolly early. Because Kristy would get looks putting paper me on a chair. And documenting it.



Flat Kari wanted to check out the local scenery in Scottsdale. She found a saguaro cactus that was just her size. 

a long workweek, it’s Friday, and time to head back to Columbus. She
can’t wait to have a long, relaxing … wait, flight delay? Oh, now it’s
a cancellation. No problem, Flat Kari’s a seasoned traveler. She’ll
just rebook through Houston instead. What, what weather in Houston? Oh,
there’s another flight? A red eye? Fantastic. She had 7 hours to kill in
Phoenix airport. What’s a girl to do? 

First, we have to clear security. Don’t worry, her shoes were off.

The X-Ray machine’s toxic rays left me without an eye!!!!!!!! OH NO!!!

walkways? Flat Kari could do that all day.  


Real Kari could too.

Look at those mountains … and all those planes leaving.

I have a feeling MORE planes come than GO. WHY WOULD YOU EVER LEAVE??

Time to hit Facebook. She’s not so sure about the Facebook thread about her adventures. 

Talking about cardboard me is why people move a little farther away when I sit down next to them.

Flat Kari is spent. After indulging in yet another People magazine, time to catch some

I sleep like this all the time. Ask my hubs.
Several hours later, Flat Kari is on board. First class upgrade? Don’t mind if I do! 
Holy crap. Real me has never sat in first class.
I’m guessing the person who got bumped by “me” is pretty peed off right now.

I almost feel like I need to sit down after reading that one!
I am really having fun!
And a little hungover.
Thanks, Kristy for taking me on my latest adventure! Since Kristy’s visit to Arizona, I have been to the Atlantic Ocean with my friend Vikki.
And now I am back to Arizona to visit my friend Rita!
I couldn’t get enough.

13 thoughts on “Flat Kari in Arizona. Margarita’s, Tragic Security Snafu’s and Moving Walkways”

  1. Adorbs! And YAY for a new commenting system that works for me. Because it's obviously ALL about me… 😉


  2. Your pensive, and slightly skeptical, third hand pose is still cracking me right up!! LOVE the sombrero! You must have been awesome company during all of those travel delays. I wish you were here for this new car shopping nonsense we have going on…we want to make sure Flat Kari is comfy when she rides with us!


  3. By the way, there are now TWO Flat Kari's!One is bendy.You tell me which one you want. 🙂


  4. You are a nut. mmmm. Nuts. I'd lose Flat Marianne inside of 5 minutes. 'Tis why I have kids who can follow me instead of paper children. 😉


  5. Your whole piece made me Freak the Crap Out! My husband and I are in the very very veeeery early stages of family planning (as in I'm currently reading my first book on the subject), and the more I learn the more terrifying it all seems. But also wonderful. Thank you so much for sharing this!


  6. Hannah, if I can be a mom, YOU can be a mom.Thanks for the sweet words.You will be AMAZING.


  7. Hahahaha! Love this! But this isn't the same Flat Kari as the one I met in person? The one that can do THE SPLITS? Flat Kari has a doppelganger? OoOoOoh, there's a sequel for ya!


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