Blogging, Humor

Flat Kari in Arizona!

The more I reblog about Flat Kari, the more jealous I am getting of that bi**. 
You will notice that in my 2021 note writing.

First published July 11, 2014

Hello friends, it has been a while since we have seen Flat Kari.
She is okay; I know you were concerned.
I got more worried emails about her than I ever have in my life.
You realize she is a piece of cardboard?
The next stop is Arizona!
My sister-in-law Kristy travels for her job, and I got to go along like a big person!
Take it away, Kristy…

Flat Kari was originally supposed to have an exotic adventure to India, but when her visa wasn’t processed in time, her trip changed to Scottsdale (yay for not having to take a 19-hour flight!) 
Flat Kari’s flights to Phoenix were on time, she was prepared for the long flights ahead. Gum? Check. Boarding pass? Check. People magazine with Kimye wedding photos? Check. But Flat Kari’s not so sure about that Kardashian chick.

2021 note- Aww Kimye. And now, divorcedye. Too soon? 
I love to fly! And I love to read People magazine! Unless it’s about the Kardashians. Then I don’t.
 

Onboard and Flat Kari is loving the view. Weeeeee! 

 

I really do this on flights!

2021 note- A comedian once made a comment in his monologue about the kinds of people who look out the window during flights. He said something to the effect of people like this are stupid because I want to sleep. You, sir, are a dick.
And also, not a very successful comedian if you have to fly coach with us common folk who don’t get out of the house much and like to look out the window of a plane. 

Moving on to OK magazine, Flat Kari is pretty certain Duchess Kate isn’t preggers. 

2021 note- Way before Meghan and Harry. 

I am more interested in seeing Beyonce’s sister hit Jay-Z. Because HOLY CRAP, GIRL.

It’s been a long day. Time to dig in on some chips, salsa, and margaritas! Flat Kari shed her Midwestern
winter wear in favor of a sundress to handle the 114-degree heat. Chevron, of course. And in a sombrero. Because she’s feeling that margarita. 

2021 note- Margaritas get me naked, wasted. I’ve said too much. 

FINALLY something other than the chevron. OOH, CHIPS AND SALSA.


While in Scottsdale, Flat Kari worked overnights, which meant she could catch some rays by the pool in the afternoon! 


Do Arizona people not use the pool? Oh yes, it’s probably early. Because Kristy would get looks putting paper me on a chair and documenting it.

2021 note- God bless my sister-in-law- she is on a BUSINESS trip and is trudging down to the pool to take pictures of me on a chair. Get that woman a margarita. 


Holy shit, I’m STILL DRINKING? I LOVE FLAT ME!

Flat Kari wanted to check out the local scenery in Scottsdale. She found a saguaro cactus that was just her size. 


Hey, watch it!


After a long work week, it’s Friday, and time to head back to Columbus. She can’t wait to have a long, relaxing … wait, flight delay? Oh, now it’s a cancellation. No problem, Flat Kari’s a seasoned traveler. She’ll just rebook through Houston instead. What, what weather in Houston? Oh, there’s another flight? A red-eye? Fantastic. She had 7 hours to kill in Phoenix airport. What’s a girl to do? 

First, we have to clear security. Don’t worry, her shoes were off.


Oh no! The X-ray machine’s evil rays left me with only one eye!

2021 note- this gives me a very OH NO, MR. BILL vibe. 

Moving Walkways? Flat Kari could do that all day.  


Real Kari could too. Hey lady, watch out! HERE I COME

 

2021 note- I am a hoot in airports. I race strangers on these things. You think I am joking? Ask my children. 

Look at those mountains … and all those planes leaving.


Why would you ever leave?

Time to hit Facebook. She’s not so sure about the Facebook thread about her adventures. 

 

I feel the same way about Facebook, my friend.

 

2021 note- Seven months and counting from my Facebook exodus, and I don’t miss it at all. 



Flat Kari is spent. After indulging in yet another People magazine, time to catch some
zzzzs.
I fall asleep like this all the time. Ask my husband.
Several hours later, Flat Kari is on board.
First-class upgrade? Don’t mind if I do! 
I am guessing the person who got bumped by “Flat” me is pretty pissed off right about now.

2021 note- I’ve yet to sit in first class but Flat me has. LET THAT SINK IN. 



Wow, thanks, Kristy!
Now, I want to go to Arizona for real!
Since Kristy’s visit to Arizona, “I” have been to the Atlantic Ocean with my friend Vikki.
And now I am back in Arizona to visit my friend Rita!
“I” guess “I” couldn’t get enough of those mountains. 🙂


2021 note- Maybe I should have Flat Kari guest host next week’s podcast. 

 

3 thoughts on “Flat Kari in Arizona!”

  1. I’ve never flown first class either! I love those moving walkways in airports and tend to walk so much faster on them than I seem to in real live slow-mo time.

    Liked by 1 person

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