Except for the guy at the gas station down the street, he seems a little sketchy too.
When “Elizabeth” tagged me in this cool little, let’s call it a BLOG EXPERIMENT……MUAH AH AHHHHHHHHHHH……that was my best Vincent Price impression, by the way…….I was excited because we ALL know I love to participate.
In these types of things.
In 5k’s that give food as swag.
In recipe chain emails.
And I didn’t get one damn recipe.
Yes, I see the karma. But I also felt a little like if you read one more post about ME, that I might lose a few of you.“I know, I know, you love Bruce Hornsby, McDonald’s and Islands in the Stream sends you into a tailspin…..WHEN ARE YOU GIVING FREE CRAP AWAY ALREADY. “By the way, my inner blog reader critic speaks Joe Pesci.
But you look like Cindy Crawford.
Wink wink.
Suck up.
1- Papier de Toilet
I am freaked out by crafts made of toilet paper rolls.
When the art teacher asks for our leftover butt paper rolls, I am kind of offended in the weirdest way. “Like, you know where those have been. Right??”
2- Get off my butt
If you tailgate me?
I will drive slower.
On purpose.
EVERY CRAPPIN TIME.
By the way, I don’t drive slow.
I am a lead foot so if you are tailin’ ME?
You didn’t plan your time correctly.
Or you have diarrhea.
3- Do you have a minute to talk to me? I am from Inside Edition.
I hate, HATE those shows that have the journalist
confronting the business owner who frauded his employees, or the massage
place that sells crack in the backroom.
Why?
I hate confrontation.
I literally hide my face with a pillow while it is on.
It makes me nervous, sweaty and very uncomfortable.
Except for those sex offender shows.
Then I am all BOOK THOSE SCUM SUCKERS.
4- You can call me Lizzz. With three Z’s. Because Z.
I wanted to change MY name to Elizabeth in kindergarten too!
Just like the person who tagged me in this post.
I have this very blurry memory of sitting in a car with my mom in the Dairy Queen parking lot in Barrington, Illinois in 1975 telling her that I wanted to change my name to Elizabeth and I had a good reason.
Because there was a Z in it.
5- CRICKETS
I couldn’t think of another random thing.
See this post is full of random information about me.
Unless you could care less.
Then carry on with your bad self.
Thanks again to “Liz” for tagging me in this!
Off to find another food swag 5k.
I am tagging some of my amazing friends.
Go visit their blogs today and tell them that Random “Elizabeth” sent you.
Keith – A Strong Man’s Cup of Tea
Vikki- Where it All Began
A Grace Full Life 
Dear Lizzy (with two z's), I laughed out loud at the diarrhea.
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HuZZah and ZippettyZing!!! Oh and Zoiks to changing your name. Zs really are cool…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
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Cha cha cha.
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ZTOTALLY ZCOOL
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My first son's name starts with a Z. If there were more cool names starting with Z, I may have named the rest Z…I love 'Liz' too!
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I love Z names.
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I find it very hard to believe that you couldn't think of ONE MORE THING. I call BS. 🙂
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Lol I love that you were reading a few of my posts last night.That made me smile.THERE.THERE IS MY # 5.Boom.
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Wow! I can't believe you like Crickets! Wait…
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I love crickets. Just not the ones in my head.
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From one Elizabeth to another, I can tell you, I hate going to the store for just toilet paper because then people know that I'm out and have to go pee. Or the other thing.
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I never thought of that.Now that is all I will think,
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My daughter's preschool asked us to bring in toilet paper rolls for a Halloween craft. I showed up with a bunch of empty ones because you know, Pinterest. She gave me a weird look and said, "Thanks but we wanted the paper too." So now they probably think of me as the gross lady who is just trying to offload leftover 'butt paper' rolls.
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You should show up with used toilet paper next time.That'll teach her.
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I hate toilet paper rolls, too. All I can think of is everyone's sweaty fingers rolling off wads to tissue to clean up their nether regions. Sweaty. And let's face it: poopy, too.
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OMG yes, thank you.
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