Blogging, Humor, Life, Nonsense

What I Wish People Would Write on Facebook

I left facebook almost a month ago and I don’t honestly miss it. In fact, I am writing a post about it that will publish on Monday about how I came to my decision to leave it altogether. I think if it was more like what this post is about, I would have definitely stayed. 🙂 

First published November 21, 2014

I would like to credit my friend and fellow writer, Alison Lee for this idea, this brilliant idea.
She wrote this post back in October about random thoughts and ideas that don’t make it onto Facebook.

So I commented:


I have a way with words.

Then a few days later, Alison wrote:

So if Alison Lee says to please do it, you do it!
Because Alison Lee is awesome.
And so pretty.
I am not a stalker.
She is glad she lives in Malaysia. 
Far, far from me.

I could have gone the “real-life statuses that don’t make it Facebook route” but I went another way.
The “OMG the things that would mortify us if people knew” route.
The “things that are so hilariously wrong that they are so right” route.
Welcome to my brain, open 24 hours a day and on holidays as well.




Facebook status


Facebook status
Facebook status
2020 note- I would like to acknowledge that this was before the show Schitt’s Creek was even a thing. 


FB Dream Status


FB Dream status


Facebook dream status


Facebook dream status
FB Dream status

2020 note- I really was a trendsetter

FB Status How many calories in a filet o fish?
Facebook Status AGFL


FB Status A G F L
Facebook status AGFL



Facebook status Shaved behind knee


Facebook dream status Cliff


Facebook petsmart clearance


Facebook Does Hobby Lobby Sell Cigarettes


Facebook I Think I Just Sharted


A Grace Full Life Facebook Anchorman quotes


2020 note- I miss 2014 me a little bit

18 thoughts on “What I Wish People Would Write on Facebook”

  1. OMG, these are hilarious.

    I can’t wait to read the post about you leaving FB. I still haven’t completely done it. I told you I took the app off my phone. Well, unfortunately it’s all too easy to pull it back up and look at stuff. I. am. so. bad.

    I had promised myself I wouldn’t post anymore political shit…and I did just the other day. I was so infuriated about the lastest Trump stuff (admitting to Bob Woodward that he knew about the Coronavirus a long time ago and didn’t do anything), that I posted about it. And it started quite the “conversation” on my page. I have a blogger friend who is a Trumpster and everyone attacked her. Even though they had their valid points, I DO like this woman – she is very sweet and kind – and I felt bad for her. I also then felt guilty for the entire thread. So I deleted it today. I need to stop. Just stop! Quit getting caught up in this crap.

    Another ho hum crappy day here, huh? It’s 10:30 and I’m still in my pajamas. 🙂


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, I am still on Twitter doing all of that….within moderation. I have found my political crowd on Twitter so it is good for my soul there.
      But I am trying to bring it in a bit even on there by mixing in my retweets with funny too because I think we all get too caught up in trying to share the word and forget that it’s being shared by SO MANY people. We need to share the good, the funny, the happy too. So that is why when I share my funny stuff, I get such a response. I think the funny isn’t being shared as much and that makes me sad.
      Our world is SUCH a mess right now and there are days when it is so hard to see the funny or the good but if we don’t laugh or smile, we will get depressed and sad and it will get really ugly. For people with anxiety and depression, that is a dark place, as you and I both know.
      I think you will understand Monday’s post completely and this week’s weather hasn’t helped at all. 😦


    2. I realized I published this on 9/11 only after publishing it had felt disrespectful but at the same time we are so inundated with so much bad news, funny felt needed today. I felt like it would be okay to smile and laugh for a little bit today. But I won’t ever forget those lives lost on this day.


  2. I was young on 9/11 but what I remember was on that day – everyone coming together, pulling together in our shared grief. The immediate reaction was like walking through your neighborhood after a big storm. Everyone was willing to help everyone… at least that’s my vague kid memory. Now we have a deaths at that rate every few days and no unity, no caring. Just hate, opportunism, lies. Appearances, veneers are prioritized, not actual people. I think your post maybe comes close to a root problem. Folks don’t/can’t status reality? Why? We are all human. This glossy veneer is part of the prob & it is giving our kids a distorted view of reality.

    This post is funny and also poignant.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your kind replies have made my day, err, migraine befuzzed insomniac night! So happy I could contribute in some small way. I’m seriously crushing on your blog. Will now risk it all and talk a *second* time about my cat! 🙂 The looks she gives me when she hits me up for her regular mid day convo & I reply en Francais! Daggers! Not sure if it is my dreadful accent or limited vocab (HS French surprisingly shallow on cat conversation topics) but I persevere. I don’t know why but it makes me happy. Maybe because we are living through something for which there are no words… so now I’m going back to basics. Apologies if this reply makes no sense. Migraines are the worst. Thx again for your kindness.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Well, I’m reading this on Saturday because we’ve gone all apocalyptic here in Oregon and work and dinners and the usual, but I wish I’d read it yesterday because it made me laugh out loud and I really really needed some damn laughter yesterday.

    Remember when people actually posted things about their day on FB? Even though I didn’t read this until this morning, I’m thinking there must have been some kind of vibe traveling between you and me because even though my feed was way way too full of pictures of orange haze, I decided to post something trivial about my neighbor. You can’t see it because you’re gone (insert sad emoji but also raised fist because so much respect), so I’ll leave it here for you:

    My neighbor got a chip drop about 10 days ago. Since then, I’ve seen him out there every single day shoveling. Including now, at 7:00 on Friday night in the city with the worst air quality in the world. I heard a loud fight one day between his wife and him, something I’ve never seen before. Coincidence? I think not. Conclusion: I will never get a chip drop.

    So, clearly not as funny as you (no one is as funny as Kari!), but lively conversation ensued and I want more of that in my social media.

    Take care. I hope you’re feeling better. Love you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Well, some of my other out of state friends didn’t know what it was either, and several hoped it had something to do with chips. Alas, no. But it’s a very Portland kinda thing. (You know, along with protests, forest fires, white supremacists, distance learning for all, and such.) On the plus side, I now have a standing invitation to go to Iowa to sample some kind of amazing dairy-based chip dip. Just as soon as we can gather again. I’ll swing by and pick you up on my way. They’re nice folks and I’m sure you’d all like each other.

        Liked by 1 person

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