Humor, Life, Uncategorized

Why I Don’t Shop at Walmart Anymore

That title is a little misleading because that isn’t entirely what this post is about.
But I do feel the need to narrow down my titles.
I feel like they are a little too long-winded, kind of like me.
If I had my way, that title up there would look something like Why I Don’t Shop at Walmart Anymore and OMG This Weekend Was So. Much. Fun. AND LUCY ALMOST DIED!!! Did I Tell You About My New Lamp? ALDI!

Maybe I should just write my posts like one big ass haiku or like one long rambling title.
It would save me time and it would give you ten more minutes of your life back each week.

For years I have had a hate/hate/hate/ kind of like/ naw really hate relationship with Walmart.
The only thing redeeming being they were saving me money.
Then the damn place refused to take the printable coupons from the Internet a few years ago and it stopped being redeeming at all.
I would say to myself….no wait not even to myself, out loud mind you, as I was walking down each aisle, “WHY IN THE HELL DO I SHOP HERE??”


For many reasons but the main three being: 

1- the employees aren’t really friendly with the exception of my cash register ladies who know me. I do love them. But the rest suck. Even the managers. ESPECIALLY the managers.

2- my particular store is always busy with the worst type of customer. I have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to get in there before the scary people. Which is like 6 am- 8 am only.

3- Walmart’s business politics stinks. All you need to do is watch the documentary, WalMart: The High Cost of Low Price. I guarantee a half hour into the movie you won’t ever want to shop at a Walmart ever again.

I am not going into it any further than that because this isn’t that kind of blog.
What kind of blog is this? I have no clue.
When we figure that out, let me know because I have no idea what to answer when people ask.
Anyhoo, I went out and I got myself someone on the sly.
The grocery charlatan that I was, was cheating on Walmart.


Her name is Aldi, ever hear of her?
Isn’t that the prettiest name you have ever heard?
She is beautiful.
She speaks a language like no other, it’s called SAVES ME MONEY.

That is $104.96 for two weeks of groceries.
I would have spent double that at Walmart.
NOW, in defense of the old ball and chain, I would have also bought things like toilet paper (by the way do NOT buy this at Aldi, trust me) or candles or magazines or stupidity.
This is the beauty of my new courtesan!
Fewer distractions mean less crap ends up in my cart.
I do not need a jumbo package of tube socks or an industrial size jar of ponds night cream or a candle warmer shaped like Elvis.
Walmart thinks I do but I do not.

No, Aldi gets me to focus on my task at hand.
Get in, get your eggs and get the hell out of dodge.
All that and under 125 buckaroos for a two-week stint of food in my house which is saying a lot.
My family eats like food is going away forever.
Like it won’t ever come back again.
And when I say “family”, I mean my two daughters.
The tiny girls that grace our hallways.
They may be petite and dainty but don’t let them fool you, they can pack away food like William Refrigerator Perry during training camp.


Thanks, Fridge. 

For example, I had friends over for the Cradles to Crayons swap party this weekend so obviously, I wanted to serve some yummy food.
Normally something like that would set me back 50-60 dollars easily at the old ball and chain.
Maybe even more because then I would see a picture frame I needed or a new punch bowl, I DON’T NEED A PUNCH BOWL and neither do you.
Repeat after me: Walmart is not your friend.

So here was the food spread the day of my party:

It included two kinds of cheeses: Havarti (FANCY LIKE!) and aged cheddar; a veggie tray that I made with french onion dip (no MSG by the way because Aldi only sells non-MSG items); potato chips; tortilla chips; Frito’s; sea salt pita chips; hummus; strawberries; salsa and queso dip and white wine.

How much do you think this all cost?

For party food.
By the way, their white wine is $2.99 and tastes pretty amazing although I can’t drink cheap booze anymore because it gives me headaches no matter what the brand.
I learned this the hard way.
But if you are a cheap drunk, HEAD TO ALDI.

Some things to know before you go:

-you have to pay a quarter to get a cart but you get it back at the end of your trip. Some people have issues with this. Seriously, you get it back.

– Aldi has a funny smell. I have been in more than one and they all seem to. I don’t know if it is all the boxes they keep everything in but I am totally willing to look beyond it because then I do not have to go back to Walmart. Wear nose plugs if you have issues with that kind of thing. Or stick Mentholatum up your nostrils.

– the physical store is small so your shopping trips are faster, saving you not only money but time as well. Aldi is a giver.

– the 1% milk isn’t with the rest of the milk. It is on the bottom shelf with the creamers. You are welcome.

– you can only pay cash or debit which is how they keep prices low. Do not pay in pennies because that is annoying. Go to the bank or Coinstar before you go.

– you have to bag it yourself with your own bags or bags you can buy there but I pull an IKEA every time and keep my bags in the back of my car and bag everything in the parking lot. They do have counters inside to do it there if that is your thing or if the weather is bad.

They have the best produce, organic items, they have tons of gluten-free items and NO MSG, people.
All of their brands taste just like the name brands, I kid you not. My husband agrees and he is the pickiest eater on the face of the planet.
Even The Fridge agrees with me.

Thanks, Fridge. 

Say bye-bye to the ball and chain and have a fling with Aldi.
You won’t go back, I promise.

Speaking of swapping, WHAT?? My friends were amazing and brought so many donations for Cradles to Crayons.
This was my sad little bin before:

And here it is after the party:


The swap party was lots of fun too.

I love my friends so much.

So as I mentioned at the beginning of the post, we had a scare on Sunday morning.
Our beloved almost 10-year-old goldfish Lucy seemed like she was on her last legs.
Fins. Whatever.
Normally after we clean her tank, she takes a day to adjust so it is normal for her to be in kind of a fish-funk but she just wasn’t her normal happy fishy self even after a day.

It was when we found her upside down on Sunday morning that we kind of got worried.


Here she is at the bottom of her tank all depressed.
Ella put her duck there to make Lucy feel better.

I have to say, I was really sad.
Like, really, really sad.
I love that fish more than what is considered “normal” for what one should love a fish but she is a pet, right?
A part of our family.
Maybe she can’t give us hugs back or jump in our laps when we get home but she definitely is a huge part of this home and without her, well, it just wouldn’t be the same.
In fact, we got her a year after we moved into this house so it quite literally wouldn’t be the same.

It turned out everything was fine with Lucy.
She just didn’t take too well to the clean tank as she usually does but it did get me to thinking about her eventual demise and how much her presence would be missed.
And how we really should just leave her in her own filth.
Apparently, she likes it that way.


After the party, I had a couple of bags of adult clothing leftover to donate so the next day Mike and I found a cool new resale store about 40 minutes away.
I have a “thing” about names and this drew me in immediately because this was my grandma’s middle name so of course, I had to go.
It is a nicer version of Goodwill.
Someone on Yelp compared it to the difference between Target and Walmart.
See how I made this post turn full circle?
And I found this cool lamp.

It looks very 70’s retro but it isn’t why I fell in love with it initially.
I honestly have no idea other than the color why I fell in love with it but I couldn’t stop looking at it and now it is my most favorite thing in my house.

Probably because it was something I couldn’t buy at Walmart OR Aldi.
It was something just for me.
Think maybe I will go stare at my lamp and Lucy simultaneously.

Aren’t you glad I didn’t put all of that into the title?


4 thoughts on “Why I Don’t Shop at Walmart Anymore”

  1. I am so going to Lucille’s – as it was my Grandmother’s name as well, and the fact that it looks awesome, I am always looking for a new place to go treasure shopping.

    I am with you on Walmart, I hate it, but sometimes they are the one who has my coffee in stock. It’s a catch 22 everytime.


    1. I KNOW. Or the lowest prices on certain things.
      But now I have a Meijer so I go there for what I can’t get at Aldi’s.

      You will love Lucille’s. 🙂


  2. As of today, I’m done with Walmart, too. They were closing at noon today due to Hurricane Zeta (10/28/2020). At 9:15 am they were removing the lunchmeat, hot dogs, cheese, and other ready-to-eat meats as people stood by trying to buy those items as their emergency hurricane food supplies. I took a picture for my husband to explain why I couldn’t get lunchmeat and was rudely accosted by an associate that pictures are not allowed to be taken of working associates. I deleted the photo from my camera roll in front of her and felt like I was getting yelled at for something minor. I wrote Walmart an email and have yet to hear back from them. I thought it was pretty crappy of them to remove food items that people needed to buy 2 hours before closing on the day a hurricane hits our area.

    Liked by 1 person

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