Blogging, Humor, Life

It’s My Birthday Month So Let’s Screw it up With a Writing Challenge

I love to write as you all know but I need to practice writing in order to be a better writer.
At least that is what other writers tell you.
I think it is a conspiracy really.
Something that other writers are telling themselves to make themselves feel better, then they write memes that they share all over the Internet so that they can make hack writers like myself feel inadequate.
They made me call myself a hack.
Conspiracy, I say.

I started writing my screenplay three weeks ago and in doing so, I am already feeling like a full-fledged writer.
Never mind that I have been writing for almost six years in this format, but apparently, that doesn’t count in my mind.
It wasn’t until I started writing words in a Word document titled “TBD Screenplay” that I finally felt like a really real writerly writer type.
And holy crap it is so hard like you have to write.
Do you realize that screenplays have a shit ton of words in them??
Like for every ten minutes of film, there are like pages and pages of words??
And for a screenwriter, you need back up because like half of the words you write are going to get cut anyway!!!!!
But exciting pressure!

So anyhoo, I feel like I need to work on fun writing as well and keep my blog writing at a maximum while I am doing this.
It is important to keep my brain buzzing at all times!
Not buzzing like DUUUUDE PASS THE WEED but buzzing full of words and ideas and grammar and shit.
I found this 30- Day Writing Challenge on a writers workshop Facebook page I follow and normally I just skim by these things because I liken them to those photo-a-day challenges that I see all of the time.
Oh sure at first I am all, OOH THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!
But after four days of taking pictures of A PIECE OF HAIR, SOMETHING WHIMSICAL and YOUR WALL it gets really boring.
Actually, if they had a prompt like A CHILD AT THE GROCERY STORE GETTING SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF, that would be fun.


I perused over the challenge and found many that I thought were very interesting.
Interesting enough for me to screenshot the challenge and say, “I am going to do it!”.
But not all of it.
Because it wouldn’t be me to do it 100%, would it?
I am half-assing my way through the 30- Day Writing Challenge as only I can do best.


Me as a baby. I already look skeptical, don’t I?

April is my birthday month, I feel like it is the perfect month for me to half-ass the writing challenge and pick and choose the prompts that I want.
Maybe I won’t even finish them all in the month of April and to that, I say HA HA!
Screw you 30-Day Writing Challenge!
It is MY month and it is MY blog and I will do it however I like!
See? That, my friends, is the beauty of having your own blog that isn’t owned by a sponsor, that isn’t being bought out by a corporation or who isn’t having someone who writes you a check each month.
That is what I thought!

I think. 

So here are the prompts I am choosing to write:


1- Five problems with social media.
2- Your earliest memory.
3- Ten interesting facts about yourself.
4- Three pet peeves.
5- Put your music player on shuffle and write the first three songs that play and what your initial thought is.
6- Something you miss.
7- Four weird traits you have.
8- The night of your 21st birthday.
9- One thing you are excited about.

Now, I realize I left out 21 prompts and here is why:

your first love/first kiss: I have written about this before here. You don’t need to read about my first love again and my first kiss was with the neighbor boy in a box fort. It was boring and on a dare. That literally took one whole sentence to write so not at all “challenging”.

a place you would live but have never visited: I cannot do posts like this. There are so many places I want to visit but they never sound exotic enough compared to all of the well-traveled folk. Pass.

someone who fascinates you and why: no one really fascinates me.

what tattoos do you have: I have none. Next.

a book you love and one you don’t: I really don’t want to write an entire post about Jennifer Weiner and Tori Spelling books.

your feelings on ageism: I don’t like it? Next.

a fruit you dislike and why? Seriously, I am writing the next 30-day writing challenge prompts.

your current relationship: I feel like I would need to be on a couch for this.

two words or phrases that make you laugh: this challenge is physically painful?

your commute to and from work: let’s see, I get up from the table and walk to the bathroom then I go get some water and walk back to the table…WHOA WATCH OUT FOR THAT WATER SPILLED ON THE FLOOR.

your life in seven years: they spelled out seven like this (7) but I learned in my English class (in HIGH SCHOOL) that any number below 10 is written out. Shouldn’t a writers workshop know this? Or am I so old that the rules have changed? What was the question?

bullet your entire day: bullet point or bullet? Like shoot bullets? Or give a detailed account? 7:00 get ass out of bed. 7:01 go pee. 7:02 wake up kids. 7:05 pull wedgie out of the butt. Do you see where this is going??

a quote you try to live by: do you know where I can find the person who wrote this challenge? That wasn’t a quote more than it was a general question.

your favorite color and why: black because it is the color of my soul.

five fears you have: ooh this was a good one. Maybe I should add it back.

your horoscope and whether it fits you: do they even make horoscopes any more?

your morning routine: DIDN’T WE ALREADY DO THIS ONE??

a family member you dislike: not touchin’ that one with a ten-foot pole.

four weird traits you have: ooh another good one. I must have fallen asleep at this point.

things you’d say to an ex:

what you wore today: this isn’t Instagram, come on.

the word/ phrase you use constantly: WHAT THE EVER LOVING F$%^


Okay off to work on my challenge.
Wish me luck.
Or you luck since you will be reading them.
It is a toss up really.


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