Blogging, Humor, Uncategorized

Writing Challenge #1- My Love/Hate Relationship With Social Media

I decided that my birthday month was the perfect month to start a writing challenge.
I also decided that my birthday month was the perfect month to start a diet as well.
Go me.
I am kicking off my writing challenge with a tough one: Five Problems with Social Media.

1- Facebook

I blame Facebook for all of this.
It was the show opener for social media back in the day.
I can vividly remember sitting in my college statistics class in the spring of 2007 when I had my first experience with Facebook.
A know-it-all 18-year-old boy who sat next to me was using the school computer for other things instead of actual statistics because he was done with his test on this particular day.
Why he was wasting his time with us at the College of Lake County when he should be at Harvard, I’ll never know.
Sitting there on the school computer trying to check out his sexy friend who was “blocking” him and he couldn’t understand why.
He was whispering loudly at the computer screen about things like “RIGHT LIKE THAT WILL STOP ME” and “I WILL SHOW HER”.
He shared pictures of himself looking completely different than the annoying boy I sat next to two days a week for 16 weeks.
Instead of having a hooded sweatshirt, dirty fingernails, and Funyuns breath, the man he created on the computer screen in front of me was, shall I say, hot?
Muscular, tan and had really good hair.
Not stuck under a ball cap and smelling like bed.
Welcome to the world of showing everyone who you aren’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Facebook for many things: sharing pictures of my kids to family and friends who live far away; meme’s that are funny; advice from sites on things like ADHD, parenting, life, writing, blogging, etc.
But there are things I don’t love Facebook for: pictures that make me feel like I am missing out, meme’s that aren’t funny, advice from sites on things like ADHD, parenting, life, writing, blogging, etc..
I love to be connected to people but sometimes I feel like it is all too much and maybe we have gotten to the point where we feel like we need to say whatever, whenever at the cost of other’s feelings.
Yes, “butthurt” is a term that I hear all the frick frack time and some people do get “butthurt” too easily, but I feel like the people using that term are usually the ones doing most of the butt hurting.

Facebook is good in small doses.
But I am secretly hoping it goes away by the time my youngest is in middle school.

2- Twitter

Where I am ambivalent about Facebook, I am all on board with Twitter.
I adore Twitter.
Twitter is my social media spirit animal.
If social media were an animal.
I am not embarrassed to say that this is where I get my news, where I get most of my information about what is going on in the world, and where I read most of my blogs.
I feel as though I can really let my hair down on Twitter.
Whereas on Facebook I am a mom and wife, on Twitter, I am Kari the writer who says the word F#$% and shares my political agenda openly.
I share memes and re-tweet comical things and have so much darn fun there.
I said it before and I will say it again: Twitter is the nightclub version of social media.
You can pretty much say anything you want without being judged when you are on Twitter.
It is the social media version of getting drunk and slurring to your girlfriend about how you think your co-worker’s butt is really, really hawt.

Here is the problem I have with Twitter though: followers.
I get really tired of people following me for followers.
Not because they dig my content or that they think my blog is cool or even that they think I might share some cool crap or even the remote possibility that we could start a cool Twitter ska band.
Personally, that is why I follow people.
I know I am probably “doing it wrong” or maybe even being a bit naive but this is what is wrong with social media.
We have lost touch with being social.
It has become this race to get tons of “friends” then never interact with them, especially on Twitter.
Maybe it is the whole nightclub scene, which can be a bit noisy at times.
There is so much going on and it gets smoky and really loud which does make it very hard to have a decent conversation.

Be discerning.
Be social.
Get on the dance floor.


3- Pinterest

If Pinterest were a person, it would be Kate McKinnon PLAYING Martha Stewart on SNL.
Pinterest is one of my favorite social media time suck’s.
When I am waiting at parent pick up, you could find me on Pinterest.
When I am up in the middle of the night because my bladder is an a-hole which physiologically makes no sense, I am on Pinterest.
When I am laying in bed on a Saturday morning and don’t want to get up because the kids are still sleeping, I am on Pinterest.
Pinterest is showing me ways to change up my life, see!
I now have a cheese sauce that I didn’t have two days ago, see!
I now know how to make money from home doing something that takes me ten hours longer than actually working a job, see!
I now know how to monetize my blog so that every time you visit, a million different pop-ups will assault you when you click on the link to my posts, see!
I NOW KNOW HOW TO MAKE FRIGGIN’ HOMEMADE COTTON FRIGGIN’ CANDY IN THE PRIVACY OF MY HOME, SEE! Therein lies the problem with Pinterest: step away from the pin board.
If one was meant to have the world’s largest cork board, then God would have intended us to be made of cork and have pins for hands.
I took Pinterest off my phone.
I stepped away from Pinterest every single Saturday.
I stopped drinking so much water every single day as not to anger my a-hole bladder.

*by the way, I don’t really know how to monetize my blog and even if I did, I wouldn’t dare assault you. 
* well, not purposely that is. 

4- Instagram

I have 250 followers on Instagram and I only get maybe 20 likes, if that, on each picture I share.
That means the majority of my followers either don’t like me, don’t like my pictures or don’t ever go on Instagram.
This is why I don’t like social media.
WHAT HAS BECOME OF ME?? I bet this is what Kim Kardashian feels like when she only gets 80,000 likes on a picture.
original photo courtesy of Brandi Lee


5- Google Plus

I have a kindred spirit thing going on with Google Plus because I can relate to it a bit.
A lot of people say “why do we even have Google Plus?” and to that, I say, “why do we even have books, or air, or water??”
I don’t actually say that when posed with the Google Plus question.
Actually, when posed with any Google Plus question, I always wonder “is the Plus capitalized? or is it just plus?”
OR is it just +?
I can relate to Google + because it is underrated.
Kind of like this blog.
Not to say that I feel like I should be any kind of “rated” but I feel like, hey! this is a good blog dammit and it needs some attention and sometimes it feels like it gets overlooked.
Google plus feels that way for me.
I really like its format, it is easy to read and my profile is really pretty on there, plus I have a shit ton of views for some reason.
Which delights me and scares me at the same time.
There are a couple of things I don’t like about Google PLUS: they changed things around so it is harder to see who are in your circles or maybe that is just a Kari thing.
Also, I feel like you can’t interact there as well as on other social media outlets but that is probably because no one is really on Google plus anymore which is my bad as well.
I used to go on there and 1+ things all the damn time but not anymore because it isn’t in my routine.
Maybe if everyone made my blog a routine, it would become madly famous too!
Maybe Google plus and I should get in cahoots with each other!
It’s like Google + and I are sitting on a stage with the microphone off.
Maybe me and Google plus on a stage isn’t necessarily a positive thing.
One could say the real problem with social media is that in trying to be more “social” we have become more distant.
WHOA, I just got real deep there for a moment.
I think I might take the Facebook app off my phone.
Just my phone though, not my iPad because ARE YOU HIGH?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s