The Tale of the Rusty Milk Can

 

The summer we moved into this house in 2005, I was at a garage sale in my old neighborhood with Anna. I found this amazing old milk can sitting on the end of the driveway. I needed the milk can because who in the hell doesn’t need a milk can?

I felt it would make the perfect addition to the porch of the home we were moving into. Nothing says WELCOME TO OUR HOUSE like a rusty metal milk can. I don’t remember how much I paid for it but knowing the one thing that has never changed in 11 years is my level of being utterly cheap, I am sure it was a bargain.

Originally it was a lovely shade of rusted metal, which is important for the telling of this story. Just remember RUSTY METAL CAN. I spray painted it this hideous burgundy color because I wanted it to match my front door. As one does with metal milk cans.

The can started out on our front porch and after searching picture after picture for over an hour, I could not find one picture of it on our front porch. Which saddens me a little. I mean if it was such a required purchase for our humble abode in 2005, why in the hell aren’t there any pictures of it?

I know it got relegated to the backyard at some point and even hosted a nest of hornets that stung Ella when she was two years old. Bad milk can.

 

See it all forlorn in the corner of the yard? Covered in snow. Almost like it’s in a time-out.

You can’t?

Here, I’ll help you.

Still can’t see it?

I do feel a little sorry for it.

Then a few years after this picture, I decided to paint it green because I was going through a green phase, apparently.

This is it a few weeks ago. Just know that it looked much greener when I first spray painted it. Like TOP O’ THE MORNIN’ TO YA LASSIE green.

Then a few weeks ago, I saw this milk can on Pinterest:

 

I clicked on the pin and it led me to this blog named Delightfully Noted.

But it wasn’t her picture.

So I clicked on the word SOURCE underneath the picture and it took me to a blog called The Tres Chic.

Only, there wasn’t any instruction on how to get this look. Just the picture.

Which makes me think it didn’t belong to Tres Fifi or whatever it’s called.

Dammit.

So I am going to have to figure this out on my own and I hate having to use brain cells on ancillary things like what color spray paint do I need to create a look of a milk can that I saw on Pinterest a month ago.

I AM BUSY, PEOPLE.

 

 

Therefore, it sat on my To-Don’t list for a solid six weeks before I decided to look at Home Depot for the damn paint. Wait, first I did Google HOW TO MAKE SOMETHING LOOK RUSTY. But the suggestions were too rusty, not the level of rustiness that was on my ideal milk can.

It was then that I had a revelation of sorts: my original paint can color was the color that I fell in love with on the Pinterest milk can that doesn’t exist in real life. Just on pretty blogs that give you suggestions for milk cans with no logical direction on how to create said inspiration.

ARE YOU CONFUSED BECAUSE I AM.

I found this color called Cinnamon and was like, eh I guess it kind of looks like rust. Ish. Like. Sorta.

LOOK I AM BUSY, PEOPLE.

 

 

By the way, to the left of this can sits the basketball hoop. Underneath said hoop base, my husband found a snake a few weeks earlier. I didn’t realize the proximity to hoop base until I was already ALL IN as it pertains to spray paint.

Which is why I took the picture from back here going forward. Because snakes can’t slither at warp speed or anything.

I’M BUSY, PEOPLE.

 

 

I also can’t take a front porch picture without being in the reflection of the storm door.

Yes, I see there is nothing in my milk can. I haven’t found anything yet. Give me until Christmas. But by then, I am sure it will be in the garage. Again.

I AM BUSY, PEOPLE.