Favorite Things, Humor

Are You Freaking Kidding Me, Rory Gilmore?

Writer McWriterson

SPOILER ALERT: If you have not seen the Gilmore Girls revival yet, do not, I REPEAT, DO NOT read this post.

Consider yourself warned.

gilmoregirls_winter
Courtesy of Netflix

Are they gone?

Okay.

HOLEEEEYYYY SHIT.

These were my exact words when the last THREE, not four words were uttered:

NOOOOOOOOOO ARE YOU FU#%ING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!

I felt dazed, confused, angry, sad, emotionally unstable, nauseous, upset, overwhelmed, did I mention nauseous?

I didn’t at all get a feeling of resolution and nowhere in the past three days have I felt like, “Gee, that ending was exactly what I had in mind for my girls. Yep, it is well with my soul.” 

NO, IT IS NOT.

I need closure from the closure. I need a revival from the revival. I need help.

Seriously, I really do. 

We had friends coming to town literally one hour after I finished it and I felt like I might not be able to pull myself together in enough time.

I did, by the way. I know you were concerned.

So the next morning, I woke extra early, made some coffee, poured it into my Luke’s Diner mug and began to write notes on my phone.

I know I need professional help, but I am not Emily Gilmore and I can’t afford it.

Therefore, you are my help, my proverbial “couch” to lay on and spit out a list of what I felt all through each season.

I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.

Courtesy of Netflix
Courtesy of Netflix

*these are in no particular order 

45 Thoughts About Gilmore girls: A Year in the Life

1- Kirk stole the show.

2- Miss Patty looked better overweight.

3- I didn’t get enough Babette time.

4- April is an annoying 22-year-old. Although, she was an annoying 14-year-old, so nothing new there.

5- The majority of them look exactly the same! Kirk looks better. Taylor looks the same but he looked old in 2000, soo…

6- I am in love with Emily this time around.

7- Logan is still an asshole

8- The ending. THE ENDING.

9- I cried. A lot.

10- The musical number was a time filler. Not interested. Would have rather seen Jess impregnate Rory.

11- Speaking of musical numbers, that whole acid trip Rory and those awful boys (I know who they are, I won’t name them) were on? A waste of good Beatles music.

12- Have I mentioned the ending?

13- Rory writing the book? That was my all-time favorite part of the whole thing. And who pitched it? JESS OF COURSE. He knows her soul. Again, crying.

14- Now I want to read the book. Or did I?? Stop messing with my mind, Amy Sherman Palladino!

15- The ending was a little Roseann-ish / Newhart-esque. Where are my 80s’ and 90’s people? Don’t you think?

16- Sookie got five friggin’ minutes?

17- But their dialogue was so real. Like life REAL. Re-watch it to see what I mean. Cried there too.

Courtesy of Netflix
Courtesy of Netflix

18- I loved Sookie, but I only see Megan from Bridesmaids now and her Sookie voice is totally different.

19- I cried a lot. Like snot running down my face, blotchy red spots all over my upper regions CRIED.

20- It made me want to watch the series all over again. For the 200th time.

21- It made me miss the show all over again.

22- It made me want more. CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE ENDING??

23- When Rory goes to Emily’s house to write and sees Richard? SOBBING AND BLOTCHY.

24- I miss Richard.

25- Did I mention crying?

26- Those weren’t four words.

27- Gypsy was Emily’s maid. Duh.

28- What was with Rory just popping up all the time. Were we in suspended animation as she made her eight-hour flight from London to Hartford?

29- Lorelai looks old and I mean that in the best possible way. She has aged and I love that. They didn’t make her look really young and I was afraid that would happen. She looked age appropriate.

30- Logan is too skinny.

31- And still an asshole.

32- Dean got less time than Sookie and it was spent talking about his second wife and his children with lice. Being an adult sucks, doesn’t it Dean Forester?

33- Caesar’s hair looks like a bad Peter Brady 70’s perm.

34- Michel looks exactly the same; maybe he was in suspended animation too.

35- “This isn’t an office, it’s a diner. Go home” should have been the last four words. Or nine. Whatever.

36- Hep Alien squeezed in at a weird moment kind of sucked. The only way it would have been weirder is if they played in the background while Jess impregnated Rory. Nope, it was still weirder.

37- Zach. Dude, you kind of look like shit.

Courtesy of Netflix
Courtesy of Netflix

38- I needed less cowbell tambourine and more Mrs. Kim.

39- Brian proves that nerds don’t age, so get yourself a nerd. Stat.

40- “It’s in an envelope labeled body shipping cash” is my favorite line.

41- I never thought Emily Gilmore would give me my favorite line.

42- Dolly Parton singing “Here You Come Again” proved that GG is my soul mate.

43-That Naomi Shropshire chick was a waste of all of our time. WHY DID I SEE HER MORE THAN MRS. KIM? OR BABETTE????

44- The letter Emily received on her birthday? What the actual hell Amy and Daniel Palladino? Why did we need a Naomi Shropshire wasting our time when the letter is just dangling??

45- Speaking of dangling, THE ENDING???

It was exactly how I hoped it would be. I was a little worried that we were building it up too much, but it was perfect. It felt like we never left and now I want more.

How are all of you coping??

47 thoughts on “Are You Freaking Kidding Me, Rory Gilmore?”

  1. Now Jess and Rory are getting together and Jess is going to help raise Logan’s kid like Luke helped raise Rory. I’m right, right? TELL ME I’M RIGHT,

    Like

    Reply

      4. Too much time lapse to be the Wookie’s baby. That was in Summer, and this is the end of Fall. As Lorelai would say, “full freaking circle”— the natural conclusion is Logan. Lol

        Like

      5. UGHHHH. I don’t want it to be true but I think we all know it’s his. I think they conceived after the acid trip.
        And Hep Alien wasn’t there.

        Like

  2. Gah, I can’t remember a letter!?!?
    Also, I love Logan. I think, and it’s totally my interpretation, that their situation is of Roy’s making more than his. I think she has her mom’s commitment issues. I’m honestly torn between wanting a Logan leaves the life his dad has pushed him into for a life fitting he and Rory and baby and wanting Jess and Rory to raise the baby.
    Also musical…gag.
    Dean lol the struggle is real
    Sookie…I wanted more Sookie
    But most importantly there BETTER be more!!!!!

    Like

    Reply

    1. I actually didn’t hate Logan in the original series but I think I have a thing with rich boys that stems from my first husband…..;)
      THERE BETTER BE MORE IS RIGHT!

      Like

      Reply

    1. See, this is why I love this show because everyone can come away with different perspectives.
      I think I wasn’t smart enough for that sequence, honestly.
      But the overall sum was I adored this.
      AND WE NEED MORE.

      Like

      Reply

      1. I also loved the Beatles sequence! It showed the absurdity and overindulgence that was life with Logan, Colin, Finn, and (forgettable) Robert. However, I hate that she’s having Logan’s baby!! And I wish Marty would have shown up. He is a total hottie now, and I can’t even with him! Lol …. I have so many feels about this show that I can’t even process them!

        Like

  5. Yes, I am with your friends on the Logan is like Christopher and Jess is like Luke thing. Which is kinda weird since Jess is Luke’s nephew which creeps my daughter out because now he and Rory are kinda relatives, although with no shared DNA I’m totally cool with that.

    And yes! The musical. Awful. Most of Summer sucked. I got a little tired of the things that were obviously things to make sure some character got their five minutes. Like, the whole Sookie storyline really didn’t make much sense. But like you, I noticed that her voice was different. And at first that bugged me, as did the awkwardness of the whole scene, but then: Yes. That’s exactly how it would really be. How it really is when you see someone who used to be an intimate after a long absence and you still have all the feelings for them you ever had but things are also really different.

    Overall, I’m not sure how I feel. I agree that Emily stole the show. I like her so much by the end. That last scene with the DAR ladies? Snort-laughed. I loved hearing her say “bullshit.” And the last scene in the whale museum? So many kinds of awesome. I wish that Lorelei and Rory had had a similar kind of evolution, and that’s why I’m not sure how I feel. Although maybe that won’t come for them until they, too, are oldish ladies. I was rolling my eyes at the whole Wild thing (starting with when I saw her reading it by the pool at the beginning of Summer), but then I loved how they poked fun at it. That was the only good part of that episode.

    I guess my feeling overall is that this was like the series–lots of things I loved, and some serious flaws. Which also describes most of the people I love. And myself.

    I was sad when it ended. Even though it was totally awesome to watch my daughter scream about how she called the last words at the beginning of Winter and then argue with her about whether she called it or I did. We couldn’t remember which of us first said that’s what they’d be.

    I love your post. Next best thing to watching it with you. 🙂

    Like

    Reply

  6. Yes, YES YES YES yes! Glad to see we were into all the same points. And also especially glad I am not the only one who went “Oh wow” when Kirk came on screen. And I do agree the last four words thing is a rip-off. “Mom.” “Yeah?” “I’m pregnant” OKAY OKAY those are the last 2 words really matter. Damn it, ASP. Time to rage-watch the whole thing all over again this week.

    Like

    Reply

  7. Omg it’s like you read my mind! I was making Matt watch the end with me and I said wait. THAT WASNT FOUR WORDS! THAT. WASNT. FOUR. WORDS! BUT – I think they counted Lorelei’s “yeah” as a word. They were tricky. So no one would guess it. ? I also hated Logan and I hated that Rory was being a cheater AGAIN. Gypsy as Emily’s maid was one of my favorites. The Parenthood cameos were awesome. And what about that letter?!!!!

    Like

    Reply

    1. YESSSSSS!!!!! Exactly what I was saying and all of us were talking about all weekend. Is it I am? Or I’m? WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL????

      And YES to the Parenthood cameos!! We all should have had one big viewing party!!

      Like

      Reply

  8. Okay. I didn’t watch it. I loved Gilmore Girls back in the day, but when all of the hype started to prepare for the reunion I went back to the old GG episodes and *yawn* That ship has so sailed for me. ? SOoooo, how DID it end? ?

    Like

    Reply

  9. 1. Less Kirk and his pig. More Lane.
    2. Don’t forget: Baby could be a wookie.
    3. Yay! Mr. Kim.
    4. No to the musical. Took up too much screen time.
    5. Melissa McCarthy (Sookie) only gave Gilmore Girls 5 minutes. Boo Hiss.
    6. Didn’t understand all the Bun Head cameos. Apparently, there were a lot.
    7. Yay for the Parenthood cameos!

    Like

    Reply

    1. HIS PIG! I can’t believe I forgot to add something about the pig.
      Right, let’s not forget the Wookie possibility.
      YAY MR. KIM.
      Amen.
      I am still pissed off at her. And Amy. And Daniel.
      THANK YOU.
      YAY!

      Like

      Reply

  10. I thought 3 words at first too, but Amy said they all were not nesecarilly said by one person. “Mom,” “Yeah.” “I’m pregnant.”
    Winter and fall were my favorites. I felt like everything happening was too long. The musical. HATED IT. Also, they left everything in season 7 good, but Emily and Lorelais relationship was suddenly horrible again? Idk. Logan turned into a boyfriend but went back to his “no string a attached” ways? A lot of inconsistencies.

    Like

    Reply

  12. Right there with you sister. I could have made a list of 100 things if I wanted to. If they don’t surprise us with another season/ year I literally might die

    Like

    Reply

    1. Me too!! And I watched it again tonight with my husband (who didn’t watch it the first time), so I am seeing so many more things I could have written about!

      Like

      Reply

  13. Amen amen amen amen AMEN. Seriously! WTF RORY. What was up with Jess having like 2 scenes with her? Meanwhile we are wasting all of the time watching Rory be Logan’s skank mistress. Hate Logan. Hate Logan. Hate Logan. Whyyyyyyyyyy. I’m hoping, ever so badly, that there was a “Jane the Virgin” situation where Rory went into the Dr & was accidentally inseminated with Jess’s sperm. Best case scenario right there.

    Like

    Reply

  14. Paris’ scenes were probably my fave. She was hilarious. I felt bad for thinking the same as #2 and yes, I cried A LOT. During the funeral, when Sookie FINALLY showed up, going over the memory cake, during the wedding…it was bad. I had a feeling that was going to be the ending. Didn’t know if it was going to be her or Lorelai, but “I think I’m pregnant” was my guess on what they’d be. I also missed Lane. She was there, but not LANE, ya know? Maybe they left it like that so it will be like Fuller House and come back with another season? We can hope…

    Like

    Reply

    1. Someone made a comment about not liking Paris in this but I loved her. She was exactly how I would have pictured her. The surrogate idea was a little strange and I hated that she and Doyle were getting a divorce but when you think of her personality, it’s amazing that they lasted even that long lol.

      And yes to Lane! Her edginess is gone. 😦

      Like

      Reply

  15. The old Rory was non-existent in the revival. I miss her. I know she’s older and is going through stuff but so were the other main characters. Emily was going through a lot but I still saw Emily. Does that makes sense? I feel sad for Logan and Rory’s relationship. BTW Logan’s dad looks the same! The show had its moments but it felt rushed. Am I the only one who thought some of the songs for the Stars Hallow musical were catchy? Haha.
    I teared up the moment Jess appeared, cried when Lorelei called out Suki’s name and teared up again when Jess took a quick glimpse at Rory before leaving.
    I can honestly say that I would have been ok without the revival.
    Wait, I didn’t see Mrs Kim!

    Like

    Reply

    1. I know, after talking to you I do agree about Rory. AND MITCHUM! YES! I agree about Emily but I so hated her in the first run, that I was happy to actually like her this time around.
      Yes you did…..time to watch it again. 😉

      Like

      Reply

  16. So I couldnt comment earlier because I just finished (I KNOW! ADULTING SUCKS WHEN IT GETS IN THE WAY OF NETFLIX). That musical – um, what?! When they went into the Wizard of Oz thing I almost threw something at my tv. And the conclusion should be that Jess is stepping into a similar Luke position. It HAS to be. But overall I’m happy with it. I think. So many emotions. Ha

    Like

    Reply

  17. Very nice post. I simply stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to mention that I’ve
    really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your rss feed and I am hoping
    you write once more very soon!

    Like

    Reply

Leave a comment