Winter sucks. Unless you live in California, a majority of the southern states, Arizona, Texas or if you are reading internationally, everywhere except for Russia, Czechoslovakia, China and possibly parts of Turkey.
It really sucks this winter because I feel like the end of the world is near and of course, it falls during winter.
CAN YOU AT LEAST LET US GET A SPRING IN FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY?
Life is uncertain, order shit from Amazon that is whimsical. Get a prime membership so you can have your whimsical shit in less than two days!
I mean, come on! This is fun! On the plus side, if you are on a diet you can have bacon breath without all those nasty bacon calories.
Okay, I just want this. It says it defrosts your meat in less than 30 minutes.
I said defrost your meat.
I feel like the times we are living in are a real-life game of Cards Against Humanity.
I know what my mom is ordering. Plus, how gratifying to pop one more day off the calendar.
In case you get lost in the bathroom.
WHY THE HELL NOT??
Lucy needs this. If you don’t have a fish, you need to buy one. And really, why don’t you have a fish?
If I buy this, I can pretend that Reagan is president and that I can go upstairs and dance to Kajagoogoo for hours in my bedroom.
I am buying this because warm butter on homemade bread is what is gonna save me this winter.
Because you know you have to.
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