Disclaimer- these are things that annoy me. I am not suggesting that if you do any of the following, you must change. I write this thing called a “blog” where I share my pet peeves, talk about John Hughes, diet, binge eat, diet, eat again, and occasionally write a sponsored post. I am not out to get you.
But seriously, do something about the pop-ups.
Pop Up’s Are Nothing Like Pop Tarts
Lately, I’ve been inundated with these things called pop-ups when I read a blog.
Pop-ups are portals to hell that urge you to follow said blogger on Pinterest!
FOLLOW ME ON FACEBOOK!
Subscribe! Subscribe! Subscribe!
Follow me while I go buy a donut!
Oh wait, I will follow you there.
Nevertheless, I find it an invasion of my white space and quite honestly annoying to have to pull a MacGyver to maneuver your blog.
If I want to subscribe, sign up or follow you to get a donut, I can figure it out for myself without being assaulted.
This isn’t the first time I have been on this new-fangled thing called the internet.
I don’t care what SITS is telling you, it’s annoying.
Recipes with Step by Step Pictures
I love recipes! I get excited when I find a new recipe on Pinterest that has just a few ingredients or even better, just a few Weight Watchers points! But I don’t get excited when I happen upon the website/blog where my new recipe is awaiting. Wanna know why? Because there are 25 pictures separating me from my new culinary BFF.
Why do I need to see you crack an egg into a bowl?
If this is the first time you’ve ever cracked an egg, a blog is not where you need to be.
I don’t want to see every thought process, step and lovely DSLR picture of your kitchen.
I need to know how many tablespoons of Nutella to put in my damn cake.
Have you ever attended a “Twitter Party”?
Attended is a stretch.
You essentially RSVP to be at this virtual party which in essence is saying, “I promise to be sitting on my couch with a bag of Funyuns at 8 pm EST on March 1 and pledge an hour of my time to suck up to a brand”.
I have been to plenty of “Twitter Parties” in my blogging career and not one is fun.
It is the saddest party I have ever been to.
Instead of putting all of my time and energy into these “parties”, I would rather get together with bloggers in person.
Because drinking wine out of a Chuck E Cheese cup alone in my bedroom and tweeting about how Aldi’s peaches are so juicy #Aldi #PeachesSoJuicy in order to win a gift card, doesn’t feel genuine to me.
For the Last Time: I am Not Independently Creative
I see (especially in the DIY or food blog realm) bloggers who share HOW TO CREATE A FUN VALENTINES/4TH OF JULY/HANNUKAH/FESTIVUS/FIRST DAY OF SPRING PARTY with handmade popcorn holders, specially-shaped chocolate desserts, printables that YOU AT HOME CAN DO TOO!
I can’t do that at home too.
I get people who say to me all the time, OH YOU MUST BE SO CREATIVE WHAT WITH THAT BLOG AND ALL, and I just stare at them and blink because I realize they have never read my blog, bless their hearts.
I am gonna let the cat out of the bag: a lot of those bloggers have companies paying them for those cool “parties” they throw at home.
The handmade popcorn holders were in some cases, Fed Ex’d to them the day prior.
And by the way, it’s really easy to create printables for free.
Look up your favorite quote, head to Pic Monkey, and create your own printable.
I even made one for you!
I “created” a party a few years ago for my then first grader because Netflix chose me to and paid me to as well. They sent me a gift card, some supplies and set me loose in a Target. If I had not received any of the above, I would not have had the party.
I didn’t make those cupcakes; Target did and they were 70% off because even if you give me free money, I am still gonna be cheap.
So there you have it. I can see bloggers getting their panties in a ruffle over this.
Did I tell you how very pretty you look today?
Don’t send me hate mail.
Unless it has a Target gift card in it.