avocado toast, avocado, toast,
Food, Humor, Link Party

Avocado Toast for Losers

Losers meaning me and maybe you too if you didn’t get on the avocado toast train until recently.

Did you even know there was an avocado toast train?

There is.

Climb aboard CHOO CHOO.avocado toast, avocado, toast, guacamole

I love avocado but I haven’t always loved it. In fact, I can’t remember when my love affair with avocado began but I want to say it was my mom’s recipe for spicy guacamole which is so amazing that I even risked my life* cutting jalapeno for the recipe.

It was traumatic. *

I can barely talk about it even today. *

*burnt my corneas

*it was bad

*wear gloves when you cut jalapeno

I will write that guacamole recipe someday but I need my mommy to make it for me because of TRAUMATIC JALAPENO EVENT.

Avocado, guacamole

For the past year, I have noticed a food trend called avocado toast. It is essentially what the name claims to be although I feel like guacamole toast would be a bit more accurate. Because if I am being honest, a slice of avocado on a piece of toast sounds as appetizing as shit on a shingle.

Avocado is yummy only after you add things to it.

Salt in particular.

Otherwise, it tastes like rubber.

Healthy rubber.

But add in a couple of ingredients like sea salt, olive oil, and garlic and the avocado shines.

avocado toast

Then there is the “is my avocado ripe” guessing game.

Case in point: I bought an avocado on a Monday but it wasn’t ripe enough to eat so I had to wait.

Tuesday- nope, still hard

Wednesday- getting softer, but still nope

Thursday- wasn’t in the mood for avocado toast so I didn’t check

Friday- rotten AF

Plan accordingly. I am sure by the time I am in a nursing home there will be digital displays on fruits and vegetables telling the exact moment they will be ripe but until then, it is a frustrating game. Which makes your avocado toast all the more to savor. Savor every damn bit of that toast because you earned it, my friend.

avocado toast

Here is what you will need to make your guacamole toast:

Bread (sourdough is the best but I used low-carb bread because I hate myself, apparently)

Olive oil


Garlic clove

Sea salt

Red Pepper Flakes


Avocado (or Guacamole) Toast

  • 1 Avocado (Mashed)
  • 1 Tbsp. Olive Oil
  • 1 Tsp. Sea Salt
  • 1/2 Tsp. Red Pepper Flakes
  • 1 Garlic Clove
  • Black Pepper (To Taste )
  • 2 Slices Sourdough Bread
  1. Mash avocado in a small bowl. Add in the rest of the ingredients (with the exception of the garlic) and blend. Toast your bread, then rub your garlic clove cut in half on both sides of the toast. Spread the avocado mixture onto the toast.

When you put all of that together, you will get a beautiful reward.

avocado toast

Chooooo choooooo.

Have you hopped on the avocado toast train? Tell me all about it in the comments.

26 thoughts on “Avocado Toast for Losers”

  1. Guacamole is always the culprit. My Dads wife makes the best. Burned your corneas, really? Dang, girl. You are so right in your avocado diatribe … your posts crack me up. I love avocado toast, but haven’t had it in some time because of everything you wrote. ?


  2. Super late to getting on board the avocado toast train but thank you for making them for me! So good. I love avocados . We had an avocado tree back home and we would add sugar and milk to sliced avocado and eat it as dessert. I’ve never heard of guacamole until I moved here. Interesting, right?


    1. I am so envious that you had an avocado tree and sweetening it blows my mind! That sounds delicious!
      And that IS interesting. I am wondering if it is a Tex-Mex thing, so maybe very Americanized. That is a good Google.


  3. I’ve been eating avocado toast for over a year, but…I’m over it now. Don’t hate on me. Just lost my taste for it. Though in the summer topped with a garden fresh thick slice of tomato…THEN I’m all good. Also, this may sound weird but it’s actually good – and a great breakfast – top that avocado toast with a sunny side up egg.

    Your daily ripeness test had me LMAO…it’s so true! In fact, I have 3 avocadoes sitting on my counter and today they were just beginning to show the signs of ripeness. If I don’t use them tomorrow, guess what they’ll be on Wednesday? 😉


  4. I’m still in the camp where it tastes like “sh*t on a shingle.” That’s how I feel about fish too. There’s a reason for that. Of course hubby loves avocado. Especially when he’s having his “Mexican food fix,” which I also don’t like. Haha, isn’t that always the way it is?
    Enjoy your avocado toast train.


    1. I feel ya. I think it has the be the right amount of seasoning because I am right with you on fish. Which is why I don’t understand the sushi craze.
      Choo choo!


  5. UGH Kari, don’t you just hate it when that happens. I have seen in some of the stores here in South Africa that they put little stickers on to show how many days before the avo will be ripe, but it’s still a bit a hit and miss. Especially if the weather turns. And we love our avos too much. We used to have an avo tree at our previous home and have just managed to get a pip to shoot. So here’s hoping we’ll have another one in a few years time.


  6. I have a lot of thoughts about avocados (love them) and also on toast (I prefer with an egg on top too, yum yum yum), but that is all secondary to this burning question – did you take that photo of the pit on a knife?? It’s kind of murder-y looking. Like you just murdered an avocado with a pretty intense-looking knife. I used to stab the pits with a knife as part of my cutting process but then I almost chopped my hand off so I think I have PTSD seeing that photo (perhaps as you would if I took a photo of me cutting a jalapeno?).


    1. I am loving the idea of avocado with egg and am ashamed I hadn’t thought about it sooner.
      Maybe you and I could start a jalapeno/avocado pit support group.


  7. I haven’t jumped on yet, but I fully intend to because I love avocado! Thank you for sharing your avocado toast recipe on Party in Your PJ’s! Pinned and tweeted!


  8. I missed the train!!!! I admit that I do eat avocado plain sometimes, but the guacamole toast does sound yummy! (FYI-avocadoes will hold if you put them in the fridge when they feel just ripe enough)


  9. I’ve still never had avocado toast. So, take comfort in the fact that as far behind as you are on this trend, there’s a lady (vegetarian no less) in NJ who still hasn’t tried it. I think I may get my veg card revoked for this one, lol.


    1. So since writing this post, I have maybe had it once? Wanna know why? The “is the avocado ripe” issue. Because when I am craving it, it isn’t ripe and when it is ripe, I am not craving it. Maybe wait until restaurants start serving it, then try it. 🙂


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