My husband commented not once but THREE TIMES on the blog.
For the first time in my almost eight-years writing a blog.
Monumental was one of the words I threw out whilst seeing the pending comments in the hopper.
Miracles CAN happen.
To read previous scenes, head here.
To catch you up in case you’re new or just forgot completely what the actual point of this whole thing is:
Premise: three middle-aged best friends from high school kidnap the “Brat Pack” in an effort to open a museum dedicated to John Hughes and travel with them from Los Angeles to Chicago in a minivan.
Katherine- “Kate” has a vision: she wants to create a museum in Chicago dedicated to John Hughes. But her friends and family think she is batshit crazy. She knows nothing about starting a museum and feels like Judd Nelson is just the person to help her with that. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Valerie- “Val” wonders why there were hardly any black people in John Hughes movies and for this reason is boycotting the museum idea. Until she meets the guy who played Carl the janitor. Then she’s all in.
Regina- Regina loves John Hughes and his movies, so she goes along Kate’s road trip idea because it’s a great
idea way to get away from her children for a week. Regina is also related to a beloved character from Sixteen Candles. She just doesn’t know it yet.
Scene Seven- “She Doesn’t Have A Lot to Live for. You’ll See When You Get to Chicago”
They all arrive at the spa where Molly Ringwald works and where Judd gets his rash treatments. Anthony Michael Hall (“Michael” to his friends) had called the spa ahead of time and told Molly that Judd’s rash has flared up again and that could she meet them in the parking lot to do “damage control”.
As they pull into the parking lot, Molly is waiting by the back door, looking pretty upset. Valerie opens the automatic van door to reveal Judd Nelson tied to the seat with several tampons.
Judd (to Molly) – I don’t have a rash.
Valerie (to Molly) – He will when I get done with him.
Molly (to the group) – What the hell is going on?
Michael (to Molly) – We are going on a road trip! Get on in!
Molly (to Michael) – You’re joking.
Judd (to Molly) – We’re being kidnapped by these three lunatics to help open the worst museum known to man.
Valerie smacks Judd on the back of the head
Katherine (to Molly) – It really isn’t as bad as Judd makes it sound.
Molly (to Katherine) – I’m sure.
Katherine- Molly? May I call you Molly?
Molly (to Katherine) – Whatever. Just don’t shoot me.
Katherine (to Molly) – We don’t have any weapons, I swear.
Judd (to Molly) – They have a vape pen for cellulite or some shit.
Katherine (to Judd)- Were you even listening? M E N O P A U S E.
Molly (to Judd) – Vape pen? Cellulite? What kind of kinky shit are they doing in that van Judd? BLINK TWICE IF YOU ARE UNDER DURESS.
Valerie (to Judd) – If you blink twice, I will put that maxi pad back on your eyes fool.
Molly (to the group) – I’m calling the cops.
Regina (to Molly) – NO! Please! Wait! We have a perfectly sane reason why we are here.
Molly (to Regina) – Yes?
Regina (to Katherine) – Uh. Katherine?
Katherine (to Molly) – So here’s the deal, Molly Ringwald…..
Molly (to Katherine) – You don’t have to address me by both of my names…..
Katherine (to Molly) – We are huge fans of yours and well, we were thinking you would want to be a part of the John Hughes museum we want to create in Chi……
Molly (to Katherine) – You’re kidding. Right?
Katherine (to Molly) – Well, there’s more. I wanted to see if …
Molly (to Katherine) – You need to get a life.
Regina (to Molly) – Whoa, that’s harsh.
Molly (to Regina) – And kidnapping Judd and Michael for your sick plan isn’t? You know I can have you arrested? This is illegal. And demented.
Katherine (to Molly, pointing to Judd and Michael) – I don’t see them resisting.
Judd (to Katherine) – I am literally tied to my seat with menstruation products.
Valerie (to Molly) – Listen here Miss Bitchy Pants. That lady up there is my best friend and she has the stupidest idea I have ever heard. NOW, if she wanted to eat your skin, I’d be all HELL NO. But all she wants to do is get Y’all on board for some stupid museum for a dead guy that none of you seems to like. How hard is it to get off of your pedestal and help the little people out?
Everyone stares at Valerie
Molly (to the group) – Yeah. Still no.
Everyone except Judd looks deflated
Molly (sensing the group’s sadness) – I’m not that person anymore, sorry. Can I just mail a check? Donate some money?
Valerie (to Molly) – Sure! Make that check out to Valerie Thomas…THO…..
Regina (yelling at Molly) – Listen big shot, this isn’t even about you. In fact, I could care less if you are even in this van. It’s about John Hughes, so get over your big ego.
Valerie (to Molly) – YEAH! And she doesn’t have yours or Judd’s hair or anything……
Judd (under his breath to no one) – I knew it.
Valerie- (continuing to Molly)….so you can stop worrying if she is a stalker. John Hughes should worry about if she is a stalker or if she has her bedroom wallpapered with his face. DAMMIT, that came out wrong. What I meant to say was……
Regina (interrupting to Molly) – What she meant to say was that John Hughes is dead and he can’t worry about it? No. Wait. That came out wrong.
Katherine (to the group) – For the record, I don’t have anybody’s hair inside of my nightstand. Or wallpapered in my bedroom.
Molly (to the group) – God you guys are persistent.
Katherine (to Molly) – I ONLY HAVE SIX MONTHS TO LIVE! Give a dying woman her last wish!
Judd (to Katherine) – This? This is your last wish?
Valerie (to Judd) – She doesn’t have a lot to live for. You’ll see when you get to Chicago.
Regina (to Molly) – Come on Claire! Get the stick out of your ass and come with us!
Valerie (to Molly) – We can listen to that new wave crap that I am sure you love.
Katherine (to Molly) – We have Funyuns and Pop Rocks!
Regina (to Molly) – And let you tighten Judd’s tampons when he gets unruly!
Valerie (to Molly) – And we aren’t planning anything sinister like taking Y’all out to the desert to make a coat out of your skin.
Katherine (to Valerie) – VAL!
Valerie (to Katherine) – I know they were probably thinkin’ that.
Judd (to Valerie) – Well, I am now.
Michael (to the group) – Ooh Pop Rocks! I wasn’t allowed to eat those because I missed my childhood,
Molly (pondering, out loud) – Pop Rocks do sound fun.
Judd (to Molly) – Pop Rocks? That’s what’s motivating your decision?
Molly (to Katherine) – Let’s say I decide to get in the van. Will you vow to never speak to me again once this trip is over?
Katherine (to Molly) – Not even on Twitter.
Valerie (to Judd) – See now even Claire has a Twitter. What are you so afraid of?
Molly (to Katherine) – I’m in.
Judd (to no one) – I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS. DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE HOW RIDICULOUS THIS IS??
Valerie (to Judd) – Will you shit twice and die?
Judd (to Valerie) – Huh?
Valerie (to Judd) – It was a Sixteen Candles line.
Michael (to Valerie) – I thought your timing was wonderful, Val.
Valerie (to Michael) – You were always my favorite. After the Asian guy.
Michael (to Valerie) – I get that a lot.