Blogging, Humor

Creating a Blog Bio is Stupid

Stupid meaning I hate it, not stupid meaning why create one?

I spent an unreasonable amount of time a few months ago trying to revamp my Who I Am page on this blog. Spending time that I don’t really have attempting to impress strangers who have just started reading my blog.

The first place I go to on a new-to-me blog is their Who I Am, About Me, Meet ME! page. Because I want to know who I’m reading about, what their story is, why they’re writing, etc..

So, in my opinion, the About Me page is the most important part of a blog.


By the way, if you’re new to blogging, don’t look for blog bio examples on Pinterest. Because you’ll be inundated with blogs that have orgasmic bio pages and blogging résumés that will make you feel like you’re not living your best bloggy life.

Did you know that some bloggers have appeared on the Today Show? Or have written for the New York Times? Or have taken the free blogger Disney Cruise at least 20 times?

At that point, you should stop calling yourself a blogger because you’re ruining it for underachievers like myself. I have a reputation to uphold.


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I also have friends in high places. Or friends who are high.


But I persevered because I, too, have credentials.

Like writing a post for Johnsonville Sausages. Sausages that I ate even after they had been underneath the dishwasher. And then I told my entire audience about it in detail in the sponsored post that I was paid to write.

Or, four years ago, writing twice a month for Chicago Parent and pouring my heart and soul into every single post. They have since removed my posts from the site since apparently four years is like, EONS in the literary world. So there is no evidence that I ever wrote there.

Oh, and I had an article published on the Scary Mommy website four years ago, but no one remembers because having your work published on other people’s websites is so 2014.

Then it occurred to me: four years ago, I was living my best life in terms of blogging.

So, how do I inform all of the people who are new to my blog why they should be reading it when my best blog life was lived four years ago?

Here are a couple ideas I toyed with:



Half-assing blogging is a real thing.

Trust me, I know a thing or two about that.

I might even trademark the word half-assery.

OMG, THAT WOULD MAKE AN AMAZING BLOG NAME!




I feel like I’ve left something out.

I also like chicken salad.

Too much?



Girly hormonal shit was my second pick for a blog name. I might still use it someday, so don’t take it.

You know what? I don’t want to make a bio anymore. I’m bored.

Let’s go eat some chicken salad.


33 thoughts on “Creating a Blog Bio is Stupid”

  1. And here I thought I was being productive on this Monday morning and here you go getting me thinking about my About Me page! I really should do something about my ADD (that I have self-diagnosed myself with)!

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  2. Hey, you are doing better than me! Low bar, I know, but take what you can get. I am, at best, only a quarter-ass blogger. Probably more like a 1/8th ass. I miss blogging like it’s 2014. The only bloggers I follow are the ones stuck in the time warp with me. Unfortunately, I am no one’s target market. But money is over-rated. (Unless you don’t have enough.) Dang, I’m guessing this rambly comment tells you why I haven’t made the big leagues. Oh well, there’s a lot of pressure when you get to the show. And phoniness. Maybe we can be the Crash Davises of blogging.

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    1. Low bar is another great name for a blog!! Writing that down…….
      And listen, I haven’t made the big leagues either and I think we are pretty amazing. Honestly, most of the bloggers who haven’t are my favorite kind of bloggers. 🙂

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  3. THIS is why I love you. (In a totally non-stalkery way)

    The whole Half Assery blog is genius because it speaks to me and I think you should do it. It should be full of Pinterest fails (not even Pinterest fails but attempts at Pinterest projects that got abandoned 1/4 of the way through and covered in dust), washing off food that fell on the floor because really…who will know? and pictures of you trying to grab something on the floor with your foot because you just don’t have it in you to stand and if your toes can’t grab it, you don’t need it that bad anyway.

    Love the new blog bio. It’s honest, not contrived or self congratulatory which means you are in the minority and therefore my people because then it means I don’t feel as bad about not trying on mine. >:-)

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    1. You are gonna LOVE the post that I am working on for sometime down the road (as you can see, it’s an exact science around here). Let’s just say it refers to your Instagram post about s’mores.
      You’re my people too.

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  4. And ps to my earlier comment: You got me to go and look at my own About page for the first time in well over a year, and I updated it. It’s still fairly lame, but less so. Thank you.

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  5. This made me laugh out loud. A lot. Half-assery is definitely a thing, and when it comes to blogging I think my level of half-assery may give you a run for your money! We should do a post together, about how to truly half-ass blogging! I love everything about this post! AND I’m so glad you wrote it, not just cause it made me laugh and I love things that make me laugh, but because my About page was looking reeeeeeal shabby. I’ve since rectified that. Sort of.

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    1. YESSSSS. Please say you aren’t joking. I need to keep busy with Anna leaving so I don’t do things like knitting sweaters for my dog.
      Headed to your blog to check out your About Me page.
      No pressure.

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    2. Okay, I am stealing your About Me ideas because I love yours so much. It’s perfect. Adding that to next week’s to-do along with buying yarn for Buddy’s vest. JUST KIDDING. About the yarn. Still stealing your ideas.

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  6. You did a great job on your About Me page! My bio is lame…I’m going to re-write mine today. You’ve encouraged me! I promise I will not look at Pinterest though.

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    1. I am going to re-write mine next week lol. My friend Ani Kay inspired me in the comments section with HERS.
      SEE? THIS IS WHY I LOVE COMMENTS.
      Let me know when yours is done and I will come take a look.

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  7. Ok, what is a blogger disney cruise?! And how do I sneak on?

    Also, I seriously need to update my bio area. Ugh. It’s always so hard to write about yourself. Maybe we should get a blogging group together and write each others.

    Lastly, HI AGAIN 😉

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  8. OK I just LOVE this! I too feel like I am a half-assed blogger and I absolutely hate my “about me” page but since I have no idea how to glam it up it is what it is..

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  9. Kari I think you covered everything. All of the eighties, and some of the 90’s and 70’s. But which comes first? Which is more important? The 70’s or the 90’s?

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  10. Oh, I love this! 🙂 I also hate writing my bio. I don’t even like reading it because when I do, it always looks awkward to me and I just want to delete it and start over. #BlogCrush

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    1. YASSSS. I redid my blog bio AGAIN this week after reading one of many of my blog crushes bio (Ani Kay blog, check it out). I need to add a picture or something to mine though because it’s just eh.

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  11. Oh I loved this – so funny!! I have rewritten my bio so many times because it’s always awkward and I hate it. I love the way you write though so I think your personality shines through your posts anyway. #blogcrush

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  12. Haha looking at other blogs is certainly a good way to make you feel rubbish about your own! Haha. But you can’t be doing too badly because someone enjoyed this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky for some extra exposure. Congratulations! You’re now entitled to display the “I’ve been featured” blog badge if you’d like it #blogcrush

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