Blogging, Humor

Creating a Blog Bio is Stupid

 

 

Stupid meaning I hate it, not stupid meaning why create one. 

I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to revamp my Who I Am page on this blog a few months ago.

Time that I don’t really have trying to impress people who are new to my blog that I don’t even know.

The first place I go to on a new-to-me blog is their Who I Am, About Me, Meet Trixie! page.

Because I want to know exactly who I am reading, their story, why they are writing, what their deal is.

 

By the way, if you are newer to blogging, do NOT go on Pinterest to get examples of blog bios.

Don’t do ittttt.

Because then you will be inundated with blogs who have cool ass bio pages with a blogging resume that will make you feel like you aren’t living your best bloggy life.

Do you know that there are bloggers who have been on the Today Show? Or written for the New York Times? Or have been on the free blogger Disney Cruise, like, 20 times?

At that point, you need to stop calling yourself a blogger because you are totally ruining it for the underachieving bloggers like myself.

We have a reputation to hold onto.

YOU ARE CRUSHING MY DREAMS WITH ALL OF YOUR FANCY CREDENTIALS.

 

But I forged on because I also have credentials.

Like writing a post about Johnsonville Sausages.

Sausages that I ate even after they rolled under the dishwasher.

And then told my entire viewing audience about it in detail within the sponsored post that I was paid to write.

Or writing for Chicago Parent some four years ago twice per month and putting my heart and soul into every single post.

They have since removed my posts from the site because four years ago is like, EONS in the writing world apparently.

So now there is no proof that I ever wrote there.

Which means I can’t use them in my credentials anymore unless I give a disclaimer like, I WROTE THERE, I SWEAR. PINKY PROMISE. ASK AROUND, THEY’LL TELL YOU!

 

Image result for 404 error page

 

OH, and the one time I got an article on the Scary Mommy website, also four years ago, but no one cares about that because getting your work on other peoples websites is so 2014.

Then it got me to thinking:  four years ago I was living my best life as it pertains to blogging.

So how do I create a space to tell all of the peoples who are new to my blog why they should be reading it when my best blog life was lived four years ago?

Here are a couple ideas I toyed with:

 

 

 

 

 

Half-assing blogging is a real thing.

Trust me.

I know.

I might trademark the word half-assery.

OMG, THAT WOULD MAKE AN AMAZING BLOG NAME.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I feel like I left something out.

I also really like chicken salad.

Too much?

 

 

Girly hormonal shit was my second choice for a blog name.

I might still use it someday, so don’t take it.

 

You know what? I don’t want to make a bio anymore. I’m bored.

Let’s go eat some chicken salad.

 

Head here to see what my awful About Me page looks like now.

If you are an About Me Engineer (I just made that up), help me.

 

33 thoughts on “Creating a Blog Bio is Stupid”

  1. And here I thought I was being productive on this Monday morning and here you go getting me thinking about my About Me page! I really should do something about my ADD (that I have self-diagnosed myself with)!

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  2. Hey, you are doing better than me! Low bar, I know, but take what you can get. I am, at best, only a quarter-ass blogger. Probably more like a 1/8th ass. I miss blogging like it’s 2014. The only bloggers I follow are the ones stuck in the time warp with me. Unfortunately, I am no one’s target market. But money is over-rated. (Unless you don’t have enough.) Dang, I’m guessing this rambly comment tells you why I haven’t made the big leagues. Oh well, there’s a lot of pressure when you get to the show. And phoniness. Maybe we can be the Crash Davises of blogging.

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    1. Low bar is another great name for a blog!! Writing that down…….
      And listen, I haven’t made the big leagues either and I think we are pretty amazing. Honestly, most of the bloggers who haven’t are my favorite kind of bloggers. 🙂

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  3. THIS is why I love you. (In a totally non-stalkery way)

    The whole Half Assery blog is genius because it speaks to me and I think you should do it. It should be full of Pinterest fails (not even Pinterest fails but attempts at Pinterest projects that got abandoned 1/4 of the way through and covered in dust), washing off food that fell on the floor because really…who will know? and pictures of you trying to grab something on the floor with your foot because you just don’t have it in you to stand and if your toes can’t grab it, you don’t need it that bad anyway.

    Love the new blog bio. It’s honest, not contrived or self congratulatory which means you are in the minority and therefore my people because then it means I don’t feel as bad about not trying on mine. >:-)

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    1. You are gonna LOVE the post that I am working on for sometime down the road (as you can see, it’s an exact science around here). Let’s just say it refers to your Instagram post about s’mores.
      You’re my people too.

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  4. And ps to my earlier comment: You got me to go and look at my own About page for the first time in well over a year, and I updated it. It’s still fairly lame, but less so. Thank you.

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  5. This made me laugh out loud. A lot. Half-assery is definitely a thing, and when it comes to blogging I think my level of half-assery may give you a run for your money! We should do a post together, about how to truly half-ass blogging! I love everything about this post! AND I’m so glad you wrote it, not just cause it made me laugh and I love things that make me laugh, but because my About page was looking reeeeeeal shabby. I’ve since rectified that. Sort of.

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    1. YESSSSS. Please say you aren’t joking. I need to keep busy with Anna leaving so I don’t do things like knitting sweaters for my dog.
      Headed to your blog to check out your About Me page.
      No pressure.

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    2. Okay, I am stealing your About Me ideas because I love yours so much. It’s perfect. Adding that to next week’s to-do along with buying yarn for Buddy’s vest. JUST KIDDING. About the yarn. Still stealing your ideas.

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  6. You did a great job on your About Me page! My bio is lame…I’m going to re-write mine today. You’ve encouraged me! I promise I will not look at Pinterest though.

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  7. Ok, what is a blogger disney cruise?! And how do I sneak on?

    Also, I seriously need to update my bio area. Ugh. It’s always so hard to write about yourself. Maybe we should get a blogging group together and write each others.

    Lastly, HI AGAIN 😉

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  8. OK I just LOVE this! I too feel like I am a half-assed blogger and I absolutely hate my “about me” page but since I have no idea how to glam it up it is what it is..

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  9. Kari I think you covered everything. All of the eighties, and some of the 90’s and 70’s. But which comes first? Which is more important? The 70’s or the 90’s?

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  10. Oh, I love this! 🙂 I also hate writing my bio. I don’t even like reading it because when I do, it always looks awkward to me and I just want to delete it and start over. #BlogCrush

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  11. Oh I loved this – so funny!! I have rewritten my bio so many times because it’s always awkward and I hate it. I love the way you write though so I think your personality shines through your posts anyway. #blogcrush

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  12. Haha looking at other blogs is certainly a good way to make you feel rubbish about your own! Haha. But you can’t be doing too badly because someone enjoyed this post so much, they added it to the BlogCrush linky for some extra exposure. Congratulations! You’re now entitled to display the “I’ve been featured” blog badge if you’d like it #blogcrush

    Like

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