Consider this part of a series of posts that have nothing to do with reality because reality is really overrated at this juncture. You can count on plenty of nonsensical topics, swear words by the gallon, and gifs. There is a lot of fuckery going on right now, welcome home. If I lost you at “fuckery”, this isn’t gonna be your kind of blog. Move along.
I say ish because when I first found this project inspiration, I knew I could do it using only Dollar Tree items!
OH MY GAWD, I AM BACK!
I even tweeted Dollar Tree to suggest that I should style their endcaps for them because of my Dollar Tree renewal.
OH MY GAWD, I AM BACK!
Hey, @DollarTree I think you should merchandise end caps in your store with little tip sheets of ideas for crafts using your items like craft stores who will remain nameless do COUGH Michaels COUGH. Let me spearhead that campaign for you.
— Kari Wagner-Hoban (@AGraceFullLife) September 20, 2018
Dollar Tree’s response?
Undeterred, I hit my local Dollar Tree to find the items for this project:
I knew that Dollar Tree had fake pumpkins and also succulents as well as that moss that gets all over the damn place.
I could TOTALLY make this!
With fake plants, not real ones.
Because we don’t have enough disposable income to do this with live plants.
So I head to my local ‘Tree to not only to find THE worst colored pumpkins I have ever seen (JUST.WAIT.) but also NOT find the succulents and moss that I damn sure know was there like, two weeks ago.
What the fuckety fuck fuck?
Then I got all conspiracy theorist and was yelling under my breath, so brelling, “those damn DIY bloggers have made it to the north suburbs”.
I needed a different plan.
So I grabbed one of the hideous colored pumpkins, and some floral foam that I didn’t end up using but will be in my basement until they clean it out to send me to the home. BUT IT’S ONLY A DOLLAR!!!
I considered heading to the next closest Dollar Tree which is a good 20-minute drive but I had real life stuff to do, so I went to Hobby Lobby five minutes away instead praying that it wasn’t gonna be one of those weeks where everything I want or need ISN’T on sale.
It was one of those weeks.
This picture doesn’t do the ugliest pumpkin in the world justice.
So I found flower picks that were on sale and some that never go on sale: the green were 50% off and the purple hydrangeas were not.
I also got chalk acrylic paint and brushes (also not on sale) to cover the pumpkin.
I didn’t need the floral foam though because, for this project, we are jamming the flower picks into the hideous pumpkin.
We are calling this the “mental health” portion of this craft.
So I painted the pumpkin, or rather I should say, Ella, painted the pumpkin for me.
She did an amazing job; much better than I could ever do. How did I become a DIY blogger again?
Oh, that’s right, I’M NOT ONE.
It’s amazing what paint can do. We just don’t appreciate paint enough. I wish we could paint over things in life that just suck.
So because I
don’t know what I am doing am not a DIY blogger, I didn’t take the crucial “action shot”.
The actual jamming in of said fake flowers into the fake pumpkin.
When you’re done, you have this:
I cannot get a good picture of this to save my soul but you get a general idea. It’s pretty amazing AND it isn’t Halloweeny.
Which means you get to have this out all of fall, even before the actual advent of fall because it looks summery and fall.
How much did my Dollar Tree-ish Fallery Pumpkin cost to create?
Fake flowers- 10.00 total
Total cost- 11.99 (a good five dollars more than I wanted to spend)
Maybe you should stab a fake pumpkin with fake flowers today. It might make things a lot better.