Christmas, Humor, John Hughes, Nonsense

“Merry Christmas, Shitter’s Full”

Writer McWriterson

 

First published December 16, 2019

Disclaimer #1- this post is filled with bathroom humor and swear words. If you don’t like that sort of thing, read The Pioneer Woman or something.

I tried to think of a better title for a post filled with nonsensical and fun Christmas anecdotes, but I honestly couldn’t think of anything more fitting.

I added quotation marks, so no one sues me but just in case, here is disclaimer #2: I didn’t make the title up; John Hughes did. 

Speaking of John Hughes…

 

Courtesy of a dead link

Speaking of John Hughes part two, a few months ago I found a blogger who throws an annual Christmas with Cousin Eddie party.

The first thing I thought was, WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THIS?

 

Christmas With Cousin Eddie 6.0 // www.thehiveblog.com
Courtesy of The Hive blog

The second thing I thought was, WHY DON’T I HAVE FUN NEIGHBORS LIKE THIS?

2020 note- the third thing I thought of was, remember parties?

Head here to read all about it, plan it for next year, then invite me to it.

 

Christmas With Cousin Eddie 6.0 // www.thehiveblog.com
Courtesy of The Hive blog

Ever heard of Naughty Coal Cookies?

Coal Cookies l SimplyScratch.com
Courtesy of Simply Scratch

 

They’re made with black cocoa powder, which I had never even heard of until last week. But sure enough, you can get it on Amazon here (affiliate link, by the way).

Looking for easy holiday cookies that don’t take a lot of effort or a $12 container of black cocoa? Head here for my five favorite recipes.

 

Courtesy of who the hell knows

 

 

Speaking of penises:

 

Christmas Post
Courtesy of Bored Panda

 

 

 

I found an interesting article about the 10 Most Disturbing Christmas Songs of All-Time. Here is a snippet about the song, “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”:

 

Here’s a better question for songwriters Bob Geldof and that dude from Ultravox: Do they know that the line, “Tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” is really condescending?

 

I am not saying we need to re-record songs (ahem, Baby, it’s Cold Outside, don’t get me started) but it is a thought-provoking article and we all need to provoke our thoughts now and again.

If you never provoke your thoughts, maybe make it a resolution to do so in 2020.

Speaking of music, I have a Spotify Christmas Playlist (titled Shitter’s Full, no less) if you want some musical inspiration. Do They Know It’s Christmas, Baby It’s Cold Outside, and much more, including the songs you told me you hate to love from the comments last week? 🙂

 

 

RIGHT??

I do stuff like this, so if you have moveable letters of any sort in your home, I will rearrange them.

 

Christmas Post
Courtesy of High Avocado

 

Gotta remember creamy shits…….

If you like dark humor, you’ll love this video.

 

 

 

Image result for ill be home for christmas jonathan
Courtesy of Amazon

I love underrated Christmas movies, and the Internet has plenty to say about this subject but a lot of lists have Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s I’ll Be Home for Christmas on them and honestly if Jonathan Taylor Thomas is in it, that’s a hard pass. But this list by Bustle is a somewhat good list of underrated Christmas flicks, and yes, it has JTT’s movie on there as well.

Do I really, really need to see I’ll Be Home for Christmas from 1998? I am being real, not sarcastic? Is there something I don’t know?

Last week I mentioned a Christmas song I hate to love, (you can read about it here) so now tell me what Christmas MOVIE you hate to love. I kind of don’t have one* but I am betting it’ll be I’ll Be Home For Christmas once I watch it.

*So I thought I didn’t have a favorite underrated Christmas movie, but I totally forgot about one I love that is indeed underrated. My parents reminded me of this one last night because we were talking about not believing in Santa any longer. Both of my daughters now officially “don’t believe”, as Ella just figured it out this year. Sigh. I say “don’t believe” in quotations because they know the myth, but they still have hope. The movie I adore is The Christmas Chronicles on Netflix. If you haven’t seen it, watch it before Christmas if you can.

 

Image result for christmas chronicles
Courtesy of IMDB

 

Also, I am going to get a lot of flack for saying this, but I don’t get the big deal with the movie Elf. It is a likable movie, I just don’t get why people are so obsessed with it.

While you are thinking of witty things to say in the comment section about what is wrong with me for not liking Elf, enjoy this Twitter exchange about the movie Home Alone and its (too) many sequels.

 

 

 

 

Which Home Alone is your favorite? I think you know my answer.

2020 note- I just saw Home Alone 2 for the first time this year. Eh. 

Rumor has it that my neighbor sells Puerto Rican Egg Nog out of her garage, but you can also buy it at Trader Joe’s for seven bucks AND it goes through an FDA inspection process.

Or just make it yourself and sell it out of your garage.

Here is the recipe.

Rum and coconut milk give the Puerto Rican twist on eggnog a Caribbean flair. Smooth and creamy, this Coquito recipe is an easy drink to whip up for your holiday party guests! | www.curiouscuisiniere.com
Courtesy of Curious Cuisiniere

 

And lastly, here are some Christmas swoony pictures to leave you with because I swear I am not all Scrooge-like.

 

Courtesy of Houseologie

 

Courtesy of Style By Emily Henderson

 

Classic - brick with black shutters and candles in the windows
Courtesy of The Old White Cottage

 

Project Nursery - Colorful Bottle Brush Trees
Courtesy of Project Junior

 

 

Courtesy of Nonagon Style

 

emily-henderson_holiday-decorating_ginny_living-room_dining-room_christmas_white-neutral_cozy-cottage_21
Courtesy of Style By Emily Henderson

 

Courtesy of Blogg.Amelia.Se

 

Courtesy of A Grace Full Life 🙂

 

I am taking next week off so this is when I wish all of you a Christmas filled with smiles and family and friends and love.

Thank you for all you have given to me this year.

Best. Gift. Ever.

38 thoughts on ““Merry Christmas, Shitter’s Full””

  3. Oh and I forgot to comment about Elf and Home Alone!

    I don’t like Elf either so I’m glad I’m not alone! 😂

    Also, my favorite Home Alone is the original. Why they make sequels is a mystery.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. Oh my gosh- YOU MAKE ME LAUGH!!! I cannot think of a Christmas movie thst I dislike but I rarely attempt to watch something I suspect will be dumb. Ie: that kid from Home Improvement. Too lazy to scroll up and look at his name. I do enjoy Elf but like so many movies geared towards kids- I do not know that I have seen the movie in its entirety. Is that even spelled right? Again, lazy.

    Thanks for always providing a belly laugh. Have a wonderful Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. Such a fun post!! Laughter is the BEST medicine!! The black cocoa powder cookies reminds me of when my son was in kindergarten. I took an A-Team van cake (black icing with red icing stripe) for him and his classmates to enjoy. They all went home with black teeth!! WOW, look at all the penis things!! And rearranging letters, I’ve had ABC magnets on the side of my fridge since the grandbabies were tots, grandson always spells out something interesting!!

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. OMG, I laughed so hard at so much of this. I’m so getting some of the black cocoa powder. I do deep dark chocolate cookies stuffed with rolos and now I can fill stockings with coal cookies! (I don’t have it in me to do it this year.) Did you know Bono didn’t want to sing that line in Do They Know It’s Christmas? He was really opposed to it but Geldof put the smack down on him. (Just like Sting didn’t want to sing “the bitter sting of tears.” I feel like Bobbo was using charity with an axe to grind.) I’ve got your playlist on in the background as I type…thanks for including the Beebs. 😉

    One of my favorite underrated Christmas movies is “A Christmas Romance” with Olivia Newton John. You’re not alone on Elf. We can’t stand it. The only good thing about that movie is Bob Newhart. If you cut together all of his parts, I’d watch it. I love both Home Alone’s but Lost in NY is our favorite for some reason. (Plus Chicago is still repped in Duncan’s Toy Chest at the Rookery Bldg) Ooh, that pic from The Olde White Cottage…le sigh.

    Merriest of Christmases to you, my dear! I hope you have lots of great family time and lots of cookies!

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. I will hunt down that Olivia Newton John movie!! There’s another cheesy late 80s early 90s Christmas movie with Randy Travis and Connie Selleca that I love. It’s usually makes the round on the Hallmark channel. It’s called A Holiday to Remember and it’s honestly kind of forgettable but it’s a definite guilty pleasure.

      I love that you know cool info like the Bono/Bob Geldof tidbit. It’s stuff like this that makes me realize we’d have so much fun together. ❤️

      Merry Christmas, dear friend! So grateful for you.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. I had the biggest crush on JTT back then and loved that movie when it came out. Now? Not so much.

    We had a tacky Christmas sweater party last weekend. Had someone come as Cousin Eddie 😄

    Merry Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  8. You have the best sense of humor! And I’m sitting here laughing my ass off after watching that dark humor video. Can you believe I’ve never watched ANY of the Home Alone movies?! They just never appealed to me. I never did like Macaulay Culkin. I’m not even a big Christmas movie fan…I watch The Holiday and A Christmas Story every year, and that’s it. I don’t even care for Christmas music. I know I sound grinchy. Pass the rum-laden eggnog.

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. I was just saying how I don’t get the Elf obsession. I want to like it so much more than I do, because it feels like a great movie to start the season with. And I do love Zoey’s singing, wherever it pops up.

    Home Alone one is my favorite. I liked the second one, but since 2016 I haven’t wanted to watch it. Maybe we’ll luck out in 2020.

    I went to school with Ruby Sue! And that is my only claim to fame. And I’m pretty sure I commented that last year as well. We’ll make a deal, you mention the movie each Christmas and I can feel cool for being friends with Ruby Sue for a hot second.

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. You may have three comments from me on this post already, or you may not 🙂 If this is a duplicate, feel free to delete!

    Home Alone one is the best Home Alone. We watched it the other day and I was thinking the same thing about their mortgage. And they flew first class to Paris. I don’t consider myself a purist, but I also have no interest in the third one. Macauley or bust!

    I really want to love Elf more than I do, but I have to say I really do love Zoey Dachenel in it. Her voice is so beautiful. And I feel like it’s a start of the season movie, I just don’t watch it every year.

    Also every time someone talks about Christmas vacation I have to mention that I used to be friends with Ruby Rose. Cause that makes me famous by proxy!

    Liked by 1 person

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      1. OK so we weren’t good friends, but I went to her house once, and she showed me a video of Chevy Chase carrying her around on her shoulders. She said he was a real jerk. I’m still Facebook friends with her, and she posts something about the movie every year around Christmas time. Random trivia, she is really into Phish, she still goes to their shows.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Omg!! So. Many. Things.

        Okay, so I have heard he is a complete asshole, but just in the past year. So I want to take his ass out of my screenplay. Because of assholery and honestly, he’s not even funny.

        Maybe I’ll replace him with Ruby Sue. Need to IMDB her real name and stalk your friends list.

        Also, the fact that she’s a huge Phish fan just makes her so intriguing to me.

        Also part deux, your life needs to be a screenplay. Let me write it.

        Like

  12. Elf is ok. I like the first Home Alone but please don’t make me watch a Christmas movie (or any movie or tv show) with Mario Lopez in it. 😬 My favorite Christmas movie is The Holiday. I don’t think you asked but this seems like the kind of blog that welcomes random thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

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  16. OMG. Why didn’t I ever think of having a Cousin Eddie party? It’s one of our favorite movies and we quote it all.year.long. My Uncle Jim resembles Eddie, but not in a tacky, weird way.
    First thought on the black coal cookies is that your poop is going to be super scary the next day.
    Interesting about the disturbing Christmas songs, I knew of a few, but some were newly-weird-to-me.
    I love the Kitchen Pig version of Christmas. 🙂
    I didn’t know there was a Home Alone 3. One is the best. I DO love Elf; there’s just so many good one-liners in it for me. But I’m not gonna break up with you over it.
    I love all your Christmas swoon-worthy pics, but the last is my fave.
    You can’t take a week off. What? I suppose I’ll have to skip blogging then.
    Be well and enjoy your people. I’m thankful for YOU!!

    Liked by 1 person

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  17. This year while watching Home Alone and Home Alone 2 I was actually trying to figure out the cost of their trips! Chicago to Paris at Christmas with that many people… must have been a fortune.

    Liked by 1 person

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