Humor, Nonsense

Google Searches That Define You

I was having coffee with a good friend at the beginning of February, and we were discussing how my blog lacks a niche.

Niches are quite important in the blogosphere. But now that I am halfway through perimenopause, approaching 50, and have been blogging for almost 10 years, I don’t give a damn if my blog has a niche.

Now, random, on the other hand, I adore.

Speaking of, I’ve written about google searches twice before in my blogging career. Once in 2014 and once in 2018. Four years between Google search posts is unacceptable, because I believe that  what we look for on Google is at the heart of who we are.

Here is what I’ve been Googling lately.


Parakeets chirping
Why is my parakeet trying to bite me

We got a parakeet back in December, aptly named Joy, and I play her videos of parakeets chirping twice a day to keep her company. To be clear, she has no opportunity to become lonely between all of the times we take her out of the cage (it’s encouraged), the dog barking, and the usual chaos.

The biting began when we raised the perches in her cage so she might feel protected. When I went in to fetch her out, she bit me. I googled the above and it turns out she was being territorial, which I completely understand.

I swear to God, she loves us.


Jelly fruit candy
Tik Tok renegade dance

Because tweens.


Google translate

You don’t think those tater tot titles write themselves, do you?


Is eyeroll one or two words

It’s two words.


Is Jameson‘s Irish?

Yes.


Paul Scheer
June Diane Raphael

As I mentioned in the March tater tot post, I love the show Grace and Frankie. When I watch a show, series, movie, or documentary, you can guarantee I’ll be googling the shit out of people that appear in those shows.

One of my favorite characters on that show (besides Frankie) is Brianna, played by June Diane Raphael.

Image result for june diane raphael
Courtesy/Twitter

Then I discovered she was married to Paul Scheer.

Image result for paul scheer
Courtesy/ Chicago Tribune

I never would have put those two together, but that makes me kind of happy because it’s random.



YA books about ghosts

Nothing more intriguing than Ellie’s fascination with ghosts and her attempt to find books about them.


Map of China
Is it safe to buy stuff from China coronavirus?

I wanted to be informed about where Wuhan China was and how large that city is, because I am big on statistics and ratios. I don’t think Americans realize just how large and populated China is, nor do we realize how much of the stuff we use daily comes from China (think 75% of Amazon’s inventory).

Also yes, it’s totally safe.

*two months later note- this was when I was trying to convince myself that coronavirus was less deadly than the regular flu. Ignorant bliss is what I now like to call the month of February.


Hot Chicago white Sox player Michael

Just because he’s hot.

Not all of my searches are educational. Geez.

Image result for michael kopech
Courtesy/ Wikipedia

What is in a traditional burrito

Long story long, I was watching the Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix one day, and while she made some very interesting and agreeable points about many different topics, the takeaway for me was that she adds tortilla chips to the inside of her burritos for crunch.

It doesn’t take much. 

So the following weekend, we ordered local authentic Mexican food from our favorite restaurant, but before I did that I wanted to see what exactly is in a traditional burrito. Of course, I still got my typical bastardized version, which included no beans or rice, extra steak, cilantro, sour cream, cheese, tomatoes, onion, and lettuce.

Then I added a couple of their homemade tortilla chips to the inside of my burrito, ala Taylor Swift, and I think, I THINK, I experienced my first food orgasm.


How to clean a coffee pot

You’re starting to realize how boring I am, aren’t you?


Irrelevant facts

Ella was trying to text a friend some fun facts while we were in the car heading to a homeschool event.


How do you get paint off of laminate flooring

Nail polish remover. Don’t ask me how I got the paint on there in the first place.


Why do they ring the bell at Trader Joe’s

To request assistance from another register. It sounds a lot better than announcing over the intercom: YEAH WE NEED HELP ON LANE FOUR, JIM. JIM? JIMMMM?



How many calories does painting burn

Over 1200 in four hours.


Signs a hamster is dying

Sadly, this was one of many hamster searches I was doing in late January and early February.



Dan Quayle

He was mentioned on a show and I wanted to see if he was still alive. I call these searches death checks.

He’s alive. You’re welcome.


The Shanna show theme song

This was a little filler in between shows on Disney channel when Anna was little. I was getting all sentimental leading up to her 20th birthday.


How does Lululemon fit 

Anna had asked for Lululemon leggings for Christmas. That’s it.


Lee Majors

Another death check, but you will be happy to know that he’s still alive too.


Shrimp quesadilla

Someone made it on a talk show and made it look yummy, so I wanted to find the recipe. I ended up making it and it was just okay. I have an issue with fishes in tacos or fishes in quesadillas, but wanted to try and expand my palate.

I also have trouble with meats upon meats. IE-pork and beef in the same meal. IE- bacon cheeseburgers and the like.


That was fun. I’m so glad I don’t have a niche.

25 thoughts on “Google Searches That Define You”

  1. You are saving the world one random post at a time. Use that as your slogan or whatever, 😂

    I am adding tortilla chips to my next burrito and expect it to be life changing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Favorite part: Calling February blissful ignorance.

    Not a direct quote because I am being too lazy to scroll up. I still have to start my workout which I usually do before blog reading, but hey I am changing things up. I think you sure as hell have a niche: humor. You always make me laugh. For real.

    I sometimes google while watching a movie to see ‘WHAT WAS HE/SHE IN?’ if it is driving me crazy.

    I googled how many cups were in 150 grams or something last night as I was putting food in my fitness app. Boring? You bet. I initially asked Ed if he knew and he said: Don’t know, just google it. And I literally thought, wow, what did we do before google?

    Can you imagine how easy homework would have been if we had google back in the day?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YES! I think about that all the time. Remember when we would have to go to the library and use card catalogs?? I sometimes feel like I was born in the wrong era. I would rule the world if I had Google back then.
      Eh, probably not but I’m going to use that excuse to make my ego feel better.

      Like

  3. I love your randomness. It makes me want to blog again because I get too hung up on not having something to say or worrying that I’m just going to whine some more about how I’m not writing.

    Anyway, I’m totally adding chips to my burrito because I’m super curious.

    Ooh, your shrimp quesadilla part (i don’t know how I feel about that, BTW) DID make me think of my favorite wrap at the (probably now gone) CRU Wine bar that I hung out all too often when I lived downtown. It was called a BLAST – bacon, lettuce, avocado, shrimp, and tomato. It was amazing, and it had an adobo mayonnaise (you crack open a tiny can of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce and mix some of that sauce with the mayo. HEAVEN. And then you stare at your open can of peppers and say “now what the shit do I do with this?”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. JUST WRITE. For real. Don’t even think about it. Just start and see what comes out. I start with a tiny idea and then immediately create a title. Then it’s free flow writing from there.

      I think I’ve never had the right fish taco but I’m open to finding it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. While Coyote is my favorite character on Grace and Frankie, I like Brianna second best. I agree that it’s surprising to see who JDR is married to, but I suppose it’s a lesson in making no assumptions. Kind of like lighting a manifestation candle. Make no assumption that anything you want will manifest. 🤨

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this post! I absolutely Google the people in just about any show or movie I watch (especially if I think I recognize them from some other show and movie and just can’t place them– which is just about ALL the time!). I also Google a lot of answers to my boys’ schooling– grammar in particular since Ian’s book doesn’t have an answer key.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I originally planned to start out focusing only on mental health on my blog, but writing about one thing ain’t for me. I rarely read niche blogs. My brain is all over the place, and that’s how I like the blogs I read to be, so yours is perfect.

    She is married to the Kaboom guy! Paul Scheer will only ever be known as the Kaboom guy from Parks and Rec for me.

    The first time I googled Kurt Cobain, I went down the conspiracy theory rabbit hole for hours. I cannot resist a conspiracy theory to save my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes!! My brain is SO all over the place but I’m sure you already knew that since you’ve been reading my blog for a while.

      I love a good conspiracy theory too. Also, a good Google rabbit hole.

      Like

  7. This is like a tater tots post, only even more tasty, somehow. If tater tots were like candy and came in different flavors but are all…candy. 🙂

    Somehow knowing that Frances Bean is the same age her dad was when he died is very unsettling. Because she’s just a kid, but he was a grownup. And he died like, just a couple of years ago. And Lee Majors is 80! But I was Googling someone else I saw on some TV show this week–who I cannot remember because memory loss and migraine meds–and she was 70 and that blew me away. All of which is to say, I think I’m old. And it freaks me out a little.

    Oh, and I had a visceral reaction to your manifestation candle. I hope it doesn’t smell like vaginas.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YOU WIN!!!
      Tell her what she’s won, Bob!

      Tater tots ARE like candy. Nom nom nom.

      Yeah it bothered me too when I found out her age. I remember her being lugged around by her mom and dad on MTV when she was just a toddler. I feel like I’m still 24 (the age I was when I found out he died). I also remember where I was when I found out: at a little Greek diner near where I worked. I was on my lunch break and I was eating the best hamburger I’ve ever had.
      That was random. Very tater tot-ish. 😘

      Like

  8. I’m really glad you don’t have a niche either because this was very fun. My google searches right now are pretty morbid – just me looking up the number of corona cases in each county that I have family. It’s a fun game for my anxiety. Also I don’t keep notes on my phone. I’m jealous of people who do that, but I haven’t been able to do that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is one of the reasons I love YOUR blog. I love blogs that have no niche, just random observations. Those kinds of blogs make me so happy. Your blog was a FIND. I am so grateful to Rita for letting me “find” you. 🙂
      Phone note-taking has been something I have done for years and I am shocked I got on that bandwagon as early as I did. I don’t keep a calendar on my phone but I do love the notes section. I also use it to keep grocery lists. 🙂

      Like

  9. Your niche is you being YOU. That’s what we love; no agenda, just random good and funny

    You should totally make your own: “What I googled this month” picture with YOUR face; you can do it. I just know you can.

    I laughed at all your searches because what if you (we) had to pull out an encyclopedia every time we had a whim in our heads with some sort of question?
    I TOO spend a good deal of time googling people while watching them on TV. I really thought I was the only one….

    Lee Majors is 80. STOP.IT.NOW.

    I’m totally looking forward to having a food orgasm; just like you and T-Swift.

    A good chunk of my google searches are in regards to butterflies; so, there you have it, not super exciting here either.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love your randomness! That White Sox dude is cute, but young enough to be my son. Don’t listen to Dr Oz – he’s a quack. Get running advice from a legit medical site. More Googling! Can you believe I’ve never had a burrito in my life?! I’ve always gone with just tacos or enchiladas. But if I did have a burrito, load it with everything except sour cream (which I don’t like). Damn…now I want one. 🙂

    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I love this. Seriously I could read these all day. And I love that you googled what is in a traditional burrito. I don’t know why, but something about you thinking about burritos and needing to know what the real thing was made of, makes me love you even more.

    I would always take what Dr. Oz says with a grain of salt. He has said some insane things over the years. But I’m with you on the running, I won’t it again until after the quarantine.

    I always wondered why they rang the bell at Trader Joe’s too. I was hoping it was some sort of celebration. Like, damn girl your bread choice is on point!

    Oh and if you like June and Paul, you’ve got to check out the “How Did This Get Made” podcast. They review movies like the Love Guru and Gigli and it’s super funny. She’s only on some of them though, so you may have to search for specific ones. Also, it’s a bit raunchy, so maybe listen with headphones first. I have no idea what is age appropriate these days, I just know it’s too much for my kids.

    Liked by 1 person

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