First, I need to say that my birthday was spectacular within a pandemic. My husband worked so hard to make sure that turning 50 while being unable to hug anyone who lives outside of my home was so special, that he created a private Facebook group after my mom had mentioned to him that maybe I would love one of those birthday parades, organized said car parade filled with my family and friends and led by five local police squad cars (one for each decade, totally unplanned), followed by a social distance driveway drinking party in the pouring rain with our neighbors. This doesn’t even include all the fun little things we did BEFORE all of that happened.
I am so fortunate to have people in my life who understand me and my quirkiness, and my love for birthdays. I am eternally grateful to all of you who touched my life last week.
I will never forget the day I turned 50.
Well, it is usually in May when I get excited that winter is finally over, snow is no longer, and it gets warmer. But we are still in lockdown in Illinois for at least another month. My birthday was spent in lockdown, Mother’s Day will be spent in lockdown, and our wedding anniversary (on May 27th) will be in lockdown.
And while I am totally okay with this to keep people safe, it sucks a little, and I feel like nothing would be more therapeutic for me to get out all the said suckiness than by using my favorite swear word throughout this post!
If you don’t like the word fuck, click on that little X at the top right of your screen.
If you do like the word fuck, get some popcorn and stay for the show.
The FCC might try to shut me down and it will be the second most exciting thing to happen to me in eight fucking weeks.
Plant
I found this picture on my favorite stock photo website a few months ago and tucked it away on my computer for a tater tot post and completely forgot about it.
HOW ON EARTH COULD I FORGET ABOUT IT?
By the way, I love that particular plant and have it on my” to-get” list.
It’s called a philodendron monstera.
Its scientific name is philofuckindendron monstera.
Ask for that at your nursery. They’ll know what it is.
Because
Back in April, I saw this ad on television and I got all upset because I think Lenscrafters stole my saying.
“Because sight”?
I never add a pronoun/preposition/whatever the fuck it is AFTER the word because.
THAT IS MY THING! MY THING! MINE.
Character
A friend recently asked me who my favorite John Hughes movie character was, and I didn’t have one. It shocked both of us, but then it gave me something to sit and think hard about, which isn’t viral-related and we all know it is like fucking GOLD nowadays.
So here is the list I made on my phone that gave me 30 minutes of not thinking about the world ending.
(Thanks, Kristen. Fist bump)
Most of these are going to surprise you, so we can have a fun back and forth in the comments section because we have nothing of substance to do.
Sixteen Candles– the grandparents-both sets (Edward Andrews, Billie Bird, Carole Cook, Max Showalter)
The Breakfast Club– Carl the janitor (John Kapelos)
Ferris Bueller– Grace, the school secretary (Edie McClurg)
Uncle Buck– Maizy and Miles (Gaby Hoffmann and Macaulay Culkin)
Home Alone– The mom (Catherine O’Hara)
Pretty in Pink– Iona (Annie Potts)
Planes, Trains & Automobiles– Del Griffith (John Candy)
Vacation– Aunt Edna (Imogene Coca)
Some Kind of Wonderful– Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson)
Quotes
What I’m watching
What I’m listening to
I crave Spotify playlists. So if you have Spotify playlists that you love, spread the good news in the comments section.
I also really like this song.
What I’m eating
Anything with a flour tortilla
Homemade appetizers have been a big hit around here
Also, homemade pizza
We got an air fryer for a ridiculously low price on Best Buy’s website and have been “frying” shit like I said I would do back in March.
We made this fried chicken recently, and it was amazing:
Links
Laura Ingalls Wilder is FINALLY on Twitter
You now can make IKEA meatballs at home
You can take this UC Berkeley class for free
Aggressive peacocks are just what we need right now
Need to rent an animal for your Zoom meeting? I got a guy. Or a girl.
The 30th anniversary of Sixteen Candles was five years ago
Going Through It
I broke a glass while putting away dishes one morning, and I was swearing up a storm (SHOCKER) because it was early and I didn’t want to wake the girls, but also because I had to clean it up. Cleaning up broken glass isn’t fun, as you probably know. I bring this up because it isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me in one day, but it sucked and I allowed myself to sit in it while I said fuck and shit and damn as I swept the floor.
As I said, it isn’t the worst thing that has happened to me during quarantine. There have been others, but there shouldn’t be this competition with yourself of well, it could be worse.
Well, OF FUCKING COURSE, it could be a lot worse.
But it’s okay to be angry about breaking glass, sad about dropping a donut you were going to eat on the dirty floor, it’s okay to be depressed because you are stuck inside for another day and it’s raining for the fourth day in a row.
We all know some people have it a lot worse, but if I can give you one piece of advice today, don’t tell people (or yourself) how to feel. Let them have their feelings, let them not have to compare their “minuscule” problems to those who work on the front lines or those who have lost loved ones or those who have it “worse.”
Everybody is going through it.
Anxiety
Amid all of this bullshittery, I had a mental breakthrough with my therapist.
So I have been handling my anxiety moderately well during all of this, and I said to her one day that I think I figured out why I am handling this all so much better than predicted.
It’s because everyone who doesn’t have anxiety is finally feeling what I used to feel most days of the year. This anxiety the world is going through? It is just another day for someone who struggles with an anxiety disorder.
For the first time, I no longer feel alone and with that loss of feeling inadequate or alone in my feelings, I am feeling pretty damn good while all of you struggle with your newfound anxious feelings.
So my coping mechanism is a tad bit stronger than yours right now, but I understand exactly how you feel.
I really do. I’ve just had longer to work on it.
And now you understand exactly how I feel, too.
Dear May,
Please let there be fewer illnesses, fewer deaths, less selfishness, less narcissism, less fighting on social media.
We need to heal as a nation in so many fucking ways.
A Grace Full Life 
Thank you for tater tot posts.
I saw that documentary on Netflix as well and it was so good.
I feel like I need an air fryer too. Are you loving it?
I have a secret… I love the Jonas brothers. Don’t tell anyone. I feel like a sex offender because in my head they are still teenage boys.
Yes to everything at the end of the post. I can see how anxiety would feel that way and that is a perfectly rational explanation.
Also, I am so sick of everyone politicizing this virus. The United States of America is a fucking laughingstock. It’s embarrassing. Rant over. And I got to use the word fuck in the comments!
You keep being you. 😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are welcome. Happy to provide this service. 😉
I am liking my air fryer, not loving it. Yet. I do like it for frozen things like french fries and Anna loves it for pizza rolls. The chicken was delicious too but I am still getting used to it. OH! But I did make Trader Joes orange chicken in it and it was AMAZING.
I am so sick of politicizing but at the same time, we need to talk about how the government is handling things and be informed. But if you are lighting someone up on Facebook, calling them names and instigating shit, that tells me all I need to know about you as a person.
You keep being you. 🙂
LikeLike
I can’t believe I didn’t remember to comment on my favorite characters from John Hughes movies!!!
16 candles- Jake Ryan
Home alone – Kevin
Uncle Buck – Buck Russell
Ferris Bueller – Cameron
Some kind of wonderful – the baldheaded tattooed student I don’t know his name but he was in detention with Keith. How the hell do I remember this!
The breakfast club – bender. I know, I know, I know.
Pretty in pink – blane. I know, I know, I know.
I feel like I’m forgetting one but it’ll give me something to do later. 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had a hard time with some of my answers because I loved more than one character in each movie. Buck Russell was another of my favorite too. I loved pretty much anything John Candy was in.
LikeLike
First:
“If you don’t like the word fuck, click on that little X at the top right of your screen.
If you do like the word fuck, get some popcorn, and stay for the show.”
You fucking crack me up!
John Hughs Characters: I agree with you ON all the ones that I recall that you’ve shared. Some that I need to rewatch are Uncle Buck, Planes, trains and automobiles, and Some kind of wonderful. But I’ll probably love them too.
I watched all the shows that you shared except for the documentary about A secret Love; I’ve not heard of that one.
Also, Reese Witherspoon is ON fire; Pun intended
You always have such great music choices. Is it ok that I love the Jonas Brothers?
It makes me literally giddy inside knowing that your anxiety is not through the roof; I know this has been a thorn in your side. I’m SO proud and happy for you to be feeling healthy; inside and out.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I get those two Reese Witherspoon titles confused all of the time. Where was the planning on the timing?? HA.
It is totally okay that you love them! In another comment, a friend said she felt like a sex offender liking them because they started out as young boys. That made me laugh so hard.
Thank you, friend. It has been quite the journey, that is for sure. I know you understand it too. 🙂
LikeLike
So glad your birthday celebration was memorable and special. Well done Mike.
I do not know who my fav John Hughes’ character is. Maybe Ferris’ sister. I do love the school secretary and we just caught part of vacation yesterday- love that movie. I love John Candy in that one.
You and I share the same favorite word. Coach is constantly shaking his head like ‘I don’t grt it. She never used to swear.’ Me: yeah but I now give zero fucks about what people think. Plus: stress relief.
I am over here begging the weather to improve FOR GOOD. And Dear May, please stop spewing pollen everywhere because my allergy shots are not fully up and running. DISCOMFORT!
Have a good week (in confinement).
LikeLiked by 1 person
YES TO FUCKING STRESS RELIEF. It’s a good word.
It was so damn gorgeous here yesterday but my allergies are horrible this year. HORRIBLE. I am freaking out a bit worrying CORONA?? ALLERGIES?? Sigh.
You have a good week too. Godspeed. 🙂
LikeLike
Happy Birthday! Love you view on things and the fact that you use the F word as eloquently as I do. And we have the air fryer too. OMG Steak is awesome in that bad boy!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Steak! Yes! I need to try that. I keep hearing that it’s amazing in there. Also? Grilled cheese I guess is really good. Who knew an air fryer could do all that? 😂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’ll have to try the grilled cheese!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel like there are so many possibilities! Too bad it can’t make a margarita. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have never taken the time to think about my favorite character in the various Hughes movies either but I would definitely agree with Annie Potts in Pretty In Pink and the school secretary in Ferris Bueller; she makes me laugh every time especially when she’s trying to impersonate Ed! Sounds like your family made your birthday extra special and that is just fantastic because we all knew great or shitty this was one you were never going to forget.
LikeLiked by 1 person
When she pulls out the pencils from her hair. I just love her character (and her as a person).
It was the best birthday I’ve ever had. Imagine that? ❤️
LikeLike
Brittany Runs a Marathon spoke to me, and it got a lot of things right about weight loss and training. Also, I love Catherine O’Hara in everything, she is a national treasure. Though I think she is Canadian. Fuck it, even if she’s Canada’s national treasure I am stealing her for the US, we need her. We don’t deserve her, but we need her.
I agree about the anxiety the world is feeling. This is what every day is like for someone who suffers from anxiety. I love that you are giving yourself grace and that you are sharing that with everyone who reads it. We all need it. And light bulb moment, your blog name. Grace full. Sometimes the lights aren’t always on upstairs for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me too! I felt like maybe I was Brittany. She even looks like me. Well, 20 years ago me.
That’s how I feel about Catherine O’Hara too! That’s why I picked her. Her role is okay but I just love HER.
Grace Full meaning my girls have the middle name Grace and boy is my life full of them. ❤️
LikeLike
Well there is lot to unpack here, but once again I neglected to take notes as I went along, so I will forget all of my insightful comments (yes, they were forgotten, I had them for sure..totally, lots of grade A fabulous stuff). Let’s try anyway though…
You all slayed your grand event of turning 50…almost makes me think I should do it again. In the midst of planning a quarantine graduation here. 50 masks have been made to give out as favors because, well I am not sure I know exactly why, but sometimes my great ideas don’t hold up in the light of day. I will say that the tiger fabric I ordered is a lot less RIT mascot and a lot more Carol Baskin, but fandom either way!
Well I am not surprised to not see Ducky on your list. Is that all I had to say there? Who knows?! I suppose there are moment of those movies that I love more than popcorn, but to take a deep dive into each character might reveal a whole different thing.
I just let a friend borrow our air fryer because it just wasn’t getting the attention it deserved over here. I figured she could try all of the amazing and let me know. Without being able to use time as an excuse, it was just taunting me here.
The anxious holding strong during this fucking mess? Here, fucking here! Welcome to our worlds and maybe there will be a little more empathy for us when this whole thing subsides a bit. Am starting to think lot of my anxiety revolved around having to leave the house, sooooo…..
Now Amandequin wants me to buy her exotic plants to photograph herself with…thanks Kari!!
Broken glass is the one mess worse than glitter! (Yup, truly insightful commentary being provided here).
Maybe I should just go write my own blog post instead of cluttering up your comment section!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I should include a disclaimer, “you may want to take notes”….
YAY TO THE MASKS!!
I don’t like Duckie. (DUCKING) See what I did there? I do however like Jon Cryer.
I’m about to adopt out my Instant Pot. Need one?
BUY HER ANYTHING SHE WANTS.
Keep writing. ❤️
LikeLike
First of all, I love you already- the picture of Chandler reeled me in. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. is life. Secondly, you’re hilarious and I’m so glad I came across your blog. Youre awesome, stay safe and keep up the amazing writing.
xoxo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
FRIENDS IS life!
Thank you for this lovely comment! It started my day out in the best way. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
And your comment has made MY day. Have a wonderful day, stay safe!
LikeLiked by 1 person
You stay safe as well! ❤️
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love your tater tot posts, but I would like to hug you for this:
“Everyone is going through a little something. Have some fucking grace.”
But I won’t because I love ya.
I feel like I say that with every third Facebook post and every fifth Twitter post.
The grace thing. Not the love thing, because that would be weird.
LikeLiked by 1 person
EXACTLY. We all are going through hard shit right now. 🙂
LikeLike