Humor, Nonsense

Kick-Ass Band Names- The Sequel

In 2016, I wrote about band names if I ever were to start a rock band. I even came up with cool graphics.

Since then, I have kept a note in my phone of more kickass band names. Some of you keep Christmas lists and things you want to buy on Amazon in your phone notes section, I keep those too. But I also keep nonsensical lists too, like names for bands I will never start.

You have NO idea how therapeutic this was to create this post as well as creating album covers for bands that will never exist.

Looking to start a mid-life crisis band during a pandemic? I got you, boo.


Dirty Horse

Backstory-when Ellie was riding horses with her best friend at their old barn, her friend’s little brother was talking about a horse in the barn that happened to be very dirty. But the way he said it sounded like, “dirty whoresssss” which, by the way, would make an even more excellent band name.


Broken Taco

We had friends over for dinner last fall (ahh, remember those days?) and we had, you guessed it, tacos for dinner. But the shells were extra crumbly and we joked all night about how we had broken tacos for dinner.

You had to be there.

Invisible Handcuffs

A friend told me the story of how the kids at her son’s school have to walk down the hallways of the school with their hands behind their backs so that they don’t touch other people.

Anyway, she mentioned how they look like they were wearing invisible handcuffs and we laughed and laughed and laughed.

Twisted Nipple

I don’t remember how I thought of this but it is good, no? A soft metal band?



Busted Rolo

I am sure this is about my famous Rolo cookies but again, I don’t remember.
The coronavirus has taken a lot out of my cognitive functioning as of late. But EXCELLENT band name.
The album title is Fuck Tha Calories. It isn’t showing up with the font color but I want credit for creativity within a pandemic.

Feeling Bad for Lindsay Lohan


No clue where I came up with this one but it is a great alternative band name, no?


Facts That Aren’t True

This might have been one we came up with while playing Cards Against Humanity with friends?


Panty Butter

A few years ago, there was a search on my blog for panty butter and I wrote about it here. Instead of getting completely disgusted, I decided to take the power away and make it into a band name.

Broken Drawers

I mentioned this would make an excellent band name in the post I wrote about my new green nightstands.

See? I do remember some stuff.


Disco Biscuit

I was sharing a meme with a friend last month that had the word quaalude in it and she mentioned she didn’t know what exactly a quaalude was. I laughed at her not knowing and then came to realize that I didn’t even really know exactly what a quaalude was either.

It is a sedative and it was given frequently to people in the 70s and 80s to relax. It also has the nickname disco biscuit which I immediately squealed with joy when I heard because BAND NAME!!


That’s all I got. If you have an excellent band name, let me know in the comments and I will make you an album cover for free.

21 thoughts on “Kick-Ass Band Names- The Sequel”

  1. You have a gift. I like Busted Rolo and Twisted Nipple as a runner up- I cannot say that one without wincing though.

    May I suggest The Biting Savages: steer clear, or Crappy Neighbors: don’t knock, we’re not home.

    I have a weird phone pic that I took by accident of Tank from a weird angle: phone in my lap facing up and Tank partially looming super tall in front of a ceiling lamp, complete with weird lighting/shadows. I am saving it because it will make a perfect album cover should any of my Irish musicians record an album. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So many of these made me laugh. Ok. ALL of them made me laugh; you are too clever and I love how your brain works!
    Lindsay Lohan would love to have a band named after her.
    And panty butter? I can’t NOT get that out of my head. Can.not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel like she would. I also feel like she gets the “aren’t you Emma Stone?” comment a lot too.

      Yeah, the sick person who searched “panty butter” on my blog needs to be in jail.
      But their album will go to number one.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. These names are very funny yet I can see them at the local club. What a fun idea making lists of names up for a never to be band or the household pet we are all highly allergic to, the list goes on and on. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OK, I know this is about the band names, BUT: It’s the whole thing! The cover art and the album titles and how many freaking hours did you spend on this? Because this shit doesn’t just make itself. I want to acknowledge the full extent of your gift here. The Lindsay Lohan one is genius.

    Liked by 1 person

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