Humor, Nonsense

Kick-Ass Band Names- The Sequel

In 2016, I wrote about band names if I ever were to start a rock band. I even came up with cool graphics.

Since then, I’ve kept a list of additional excellent band names in my phone. Some of you keep Christmas lists and Amazon wish lists in your phone’s notes section; I do as well. But I also keep absurd lists, such as names for bands I’ll never form.

You have no idea how therapeutic writing this post and designing record covers for bands that will never exist was.

Dirty Horse

Backstory: Ellie was riding horses with her best friend at their old barn when her friend’s little brother mentioned a horse in the barn that was really dirty. But the way he said it sounded like “dirty whoresssss,” which, by the way, would be an even better band name.

Broken Taco

Last October, we invited some friends over for dinner and, you guessed it, we ate tacos. However, the shells were extremely crumbly, and we joked all night about having broken tacos for dinner.

You had to be there.

Invisible Handcuffs

A friend told me the story of how the kids at her son’s school have to walk down the hallways of the school with their hands behind their backs so that they don’t touch other people.

Anyway, she noted how they looked like they were wearing invisible handcuffs, and we laughed until we couldn’t because it’s not really funny, is it?

Twisted Nipple

I’m not sure how I came up with this, but it works, doesn’t it? In a sick and twisted (get it?) sort of way.

Busted Rolo

I’m sure it’s about my beloved Rolo cookies, but I can’t really remember.
The coronavirus has recently taken a toll on my cognitive functioning. However, EXCELLENT band name.

Feeling Bad for Lindsay Lohan


Facts That Aren’t True

This may have come up when playing Cards Against Humanity with friends.

Panty Butter

A few years back, there was a search for panty butter on my blog, and I wrote about it here. Instead of being disgusted, I decided to take the power and turn it into a band name.

Broken Drawers

In my post on my new green nightstands, I mentioned that this would be a great band name.

See? I do remember some stuff.

That’s all I have. If you have a great band name, let me know in the comments and I’ll make you a free album cover.

21 thoughts on “Kick-Ass Band Names- The Sequel”

  1. You have a gift. I like Busted Rolo and Twisted Nipple as a runner up- I cannot say that one without wincing though.

    May I suggest The Biting Savages: steer clear, or Crappy Neighbors: don’t knock, we’re not home.

    I have a weird phone pic that I took by accident of Tank from a weird angle: phone in my lap facing up and Tank partially looming super tall in front of a ceiling lamp, complete with weird lighting/shadows. I am saving it because it will make a perfect album cover should any of my Irish musicians record an album. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So many of these made me laugh. Ok. ALL of them made me laugh; you are too clever and I love how your brain works!
    Lindsay Lohan would love to have a band named after her.
    And panty butter? I can’t NOT get that out of my head. Can.not.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel like she would. I also feel like she gets the “aren’t you Emma Stone?” comment a lot too.

      Yeah, the sick person who searched “panty butter” on my blog needs to be in jail.
      But their album will go to number one.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. These names are very funny yet I can see them at the local club. What a fun idea making lists of names up for a never to be band or the household pet we are all highly allergic to, the list goes on and on. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OK, I know this is about the band names, BUT: It’s the whole thing! The cover art and the album titles and how many freaking hours did you spend on this? Because this shit doesn’t just make itself. I want to acknowledge the full extent of your gift here. The Lindsay Lohan one is genius.

    Liked by 1 person

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