In 2016, I wrote about band names if I ever were to start a rock band. I even came up with cool graphics.
Since then, I’ve kept a list of additional excellent band names in my phone. Some of you keep Christmas lists and Amazon wish lists in your phone’s notes section; I do as well. But I also keep absurd lists, such as names for bands I’ll never form.
You have no idea how therapeutic writing this post and designing record covers for bands that will never exist was.
Dirty Horse
Backstory: Ellie was riding horses with her best friend at their old barn when her friend’s little brother mentioned a horse in the barn that was really dirty. But the way he said it sounded like “dirty whoresssss,” which, by the way, would be an even better band name.
Broken Taco
Last October, we invited some friends over for dinner and, you guessed it, we ate tacos. However, the shells were extremely crumbly, and we joked all night about having broken tacos for dinner.
You had to be there.
Invisible Handcuffs
A friend told me the story of how the kids at her son’s school have to walk down the hallways of the school with their hands behind their backs so that they don’t touch other people.
Anyway, she noted how they looked like they were wearing invisible handcuffs, and we laughed until we couldn’t because it’s not really funny, is it?
Twisted Nipple
I’m not sure how I came up with this, but it works, doesn’t it? In a sick and twisted (get it?) sort of way.

Busted Rolo
The coronavirus has recently taken a toll on my cognitive functioning. However, EXCELLENT band name.
Feeling Bad for Lindsay Lohan
Alternative.
Facts That Aren’t True
This may have come up when playing Cards Against Humanity with friends.
Panty Butter

Broken Drawers
In my post on my new green nightstands, I mentioned that this would be a great band name.
See? I do remember some stuff.
Disco Biscuit is my all-time favorite band. HOW DID YOU KNOW? 😊
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I have a pulse on what my friends like. 😉
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You have a gift. I like Busted Rolo and Twisted Nipple as a runner up- I cannot say that one without wincing though.
May I suggest The Biting Savages: steer clear, or Crappy Neighbors: don’t knock, we’re not home.
I have a weird phone pic that I took by accident of Tank from a weird angle: phone in my lap facing up and Tank partially looming super tall in front of a ceiling lamp, complete with weird lighting/shadows. I am saving it because it will make a perfect album cover should any of my Irish musicians record an album. 😉
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CRAPPY NEIGHBORS, yessss. That is a good one.
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Other than panty butter I like all of these; very creative.
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LOL. To be clear, I don’t like panty butter either. 😉
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THESE ARE EPIC. ❤️❤️
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Haha! Thank you!
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So many of these made me laugh. Ok. ALL of them made me laugh; you are too clever and I love how your brain works!
Lindsay Lohan would love to have a band named after her.
And panty butter? I can’t NOT get that out of my head. Can.not.
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I feel like she would. I also feel like she gets the “aren’t you Emma Stone?” comment a lot too.
Yeah, the sick person who searched “panty butter” on my blog needs to be in jail.
But their album will go to number one.
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#1. LOL
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I love all of these but Disco Biscuit is my fave.
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Mine too. 🙂
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These names are very funny yet I can see them at the local club. What a fun idea making lists of names up for a never to be band or the household pet we are all highly allergic to, the list goes on and on. 🙂
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Aww, I am glad you liked it! I can totally see Twisted Nipple on the marquee. 😉
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OK, I know this is about the band names, BUT: It’s the whole thing! The cover art and the album titles and how many freaking hours did you spend on this? Because this shit doesn’t just make itself. I want to acknowledge the full extent of your gift here. The Lindsay Lohan one is genius.
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I LOVE YOU.
Also, thank you. ❤️
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How are you not famous yet? Seriously. You are so creative! Loved all of these and I would buy their albums. All of them.
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RIGHT?? Where is my reality tv show?? 😂
I’m glad you can appreciate my warped humor. ❤️
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You’re so funny! First time visiting your blog and I have a feeling I am going to love it here!
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Welcome! I hope you enjoy your stay here. ❤️
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