Humor, My Book, Universe

I Did Not Want To Love Brene Brown

I wanted not to like her for some reason.

I feel the same way about Glennon Doyle and Rachel Hollis.

I don’t know why I lump the three of them together because they are three totally different women.

Let’s break the three of them down, and I will use direct quotes from Wikipedia so that I won’t let my views taint your views of the following. To be distinctly clear, I am not plagiarizing. Unlike one of the following women, ahem, sounds like Achel Mollis.

Oops, that sounded like my views. IT’S MY BLOG, OH WELL.

According to Wikipedia, “Casandra Brené Brown Ph.D., LMSW is an American professor, lecturer, author, and podcast host. Brown holds the Brené Brown Endowed Chair at the University of Houston’s Graduate College of Social Work and is a visiting professor in management at McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin“.

Why You Need to Watch The New Brene Brown Netflix Special Immediately

According to Wikipedia, “Glennon Doyle, previously known as Glennon Doyle Melton, is an American author known for her #1 New York Times bestsellers Untamed and Love Warrior and bestseller Carry On, Warrior.

Meet Glennon | Momastery


According to Wikipedia, “Rachel Hollis is an American author, motivational speaker, and blogger. Her first self-help book Girl, Wash Your Face—since its release in February 2018“.

She has since apologized for said plagiarism. 

Girl, Wash Your Face” Is A Massive Best-Seller With A Dark Message
Courtesy/Buzzfeed News

But it was during a dark week in the migraine cycle of hell that I decided that I would watch the Netflix show, Brene Brown, Call to Courage on my phone at bedtime.

I watched this show over the course of three nights and I enjoyed it thoroughly. She is a pleasure to listen to, she makes you feel empowered after listening to her and when it was over, I wanted more.

Before this though, I had seen some of her quotes floating around Pinterest here and there over the years.

Yes, years. I didn’t say it was easy to get me to the fountain of truth. 

But there was one quote that I saw a few months ago that hit me with such truth, such force, that it felt like someone punched me in the gut:







So, in doing research to be transparent and I am all about making sure things are what they ARE. I can’t be sure that the quote is hers. Some websites credit her but Brene never takes credit for it and one article on Medium says that the quote is author unknown, so I will leave it as author unknown as well but that doesn’t change this story, nor the fact that I love Brene Brown. I just needed to be transparent. If you can give me proof that Brene did say this, I will edit it.


So I watched her program the night of the day I made the phone call to the Chicago headache doctor out of the blue. I just decided to finally make that call, no reason other than it came into my pain-filled head that I needed relief, and nothing was working. I made that appointment through tears on a Friday morning, watched Brene’s show Friday, Saturday, Sunday night on my phone while in manageable pain, on the couch with ice packs on my head and neck. I went to the headache doctor on Tuesday morning, then on Wednesday evening, I decided to watch a show from the past that Ella and I used to watch when we needed a smile, Queer Eye.

I am jumping around because I can’t organize my thoughts for this post in the way I would like so stay with me a bit.

So I saw this picture on Instagram a few weeks after all of those above things occurred:


Courtesy/ Brene Brown Instagram account BUT JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE- Gleeeee 🙂


Brene Brown just running into Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye randomly while on a walk one morning, as you do. If you don’t know who any of those people are, you won’t understand this story so maybe do a little googling and come back but let me give you some tiny bit of backstory on him.

Ella and I began watching Queer Eye on Netflix a few years ago at the urging of my friend Rebecca because she said it was just so empowering and emotional. At that time, Ella was struggling in public school, hated it quite honestly, and just didn’t find her tribe there. So I was doing everything in my power as her mom to make her life at home empowering and loving and doing five times the work at home to make up for the lack of empowerment and love and comfort that she was not at all getting at school five days a week. 

It was while watching this show that Ella would forget her problems at school, the kids who would make her feel inadequate and silly and out of place, and she would laugh at Jonathan’s pure joy, and in turn, be so filled with it herself because he just exudes it. If you’ve never seen him on screen or on social media, you really need to, especially now in this darkish time. He is what happiness just IS. Every time I see him, I light up. Ella and I adore him and so every time we see him whether it is on social media or on television or on a poster, or tee-shirt, we immediately squeal JONATHAN! I truly believe he is why she is so drawn to gay people to this day. Because they accept her for who she is, no questions asked and during an ugly time when people were quite ugly to her (adults and children alike, can you even imagine?), it was a gay person who came to her rescue.
Isn’t that amazing?

I mean. she has always accepted people no matter what they look like, no matter what their hair looks like or what they dress like. It is like she can see into your soul when she meets you, look right into you and see every little thing you have ever thought or known to be true.

My sister-in-law had taken this picture of Ella in her backyard pool when she was just little. The joy in her face here always makes me smile. I just recently found it and now I have it on my phone so when I have a bad day, I can look at it. 

We are so lucky to be in her presence on this planet.

So seeing this Instagram post in a dark time, seeing two of my worlds run into each other, it made me feel like my Universe just exploded. I mean, I don’t even know these two people in real life. Only on television, only on the little screens that I watch in the dark before I close my eyes, praying for the pain not to return.
On screens with my little girl to keep her happy in a time when she was so sad. On screens to make me happy at a time when I was so sad.

Photography of Parking Lot

Back to that unknown/possibly Brene Brown quote I talked about before.
Lately, I have been feeling all sorts of tugs from the Universe. Amazing STRONG signs I get almost daily telling me I am doing good things, right things. That I am following the arrows on the floor of my own pandemic store of life.

Keep following those arrows, Kari.

It will be okay, we promise.

Do you trust us?

We got you, girl.

blackboard, blur, chalk

Ella is going into seventh grade in September and we have been homeschooling for two years now. It is now when we have finally found our groove and honestly, I love it. She has a very tight friend group that she talks to daily on the phone who protect each other fiercely and have gotten each other through this pandemic. She is also close to her cousin and two of her childhood best friends from public school as well. I am almost afraid to say it but she is thriving and it makes me so happy for her. I know that can change on a dime because she is only six months from being officially a teenager, but I am so proud of the person she is becoming.

It is as the pandemic is in full swing that I am seeing how the Universe works in mysterious ways. It is now that homeschooling is becoming the place to be, the moms who homeschool are guiding the moms who were in public school toward the light and becoming beacons, gently guiding them and giving advice. It is a pretty cool thing to watch and be part of; moms helping other moms and wanting nothing in return other than to see their kids thrive too. In such an ugly world, there is a lot of beautiful stuff going on behind the scenes. Trust me on this.

We just want your kids to thrive too. We get it, we’ve been in that place as well, Mama. It will be okay, it will be okay.

Person Writing on White Paper

Remember that book I told you about?

That is the survival guide that I am writing. Not another screenplay, or a silly museum plan or about a John Hughes tour (even though I still think it would be a fun post-apocalypse tour).

I am writing my truth, listening to what I should have been all along.

I woke up one morning and had an epiphany that if a fucking reality star can become president and in turn divide an entire country, I can write a goddamn book with a college degree and ten years of writing experience.

And that, my friends, changed the trajectory of my life.
And it should change the trajectory of all of your lives as well.

You, my beautiful, lovely, delicious, human souls can do anything you set your mind to do.
And if now isn’t the time to see that? I don’t know when is.

While there is silence, stillness, hope, time.

22 thoughts on “I Did Not Want To Love Brene Brown”

  1. I LOVE that Ella is thriving! I also love that picture of her…she looks SO much like her beautiful mama and I know she has that beautiful soul as well.
    I can’t wait to read your book. Be well. XO

    Liked by 1 person

  2. And I’m over here trying not to freak out as my son decided a pandemic is the perfect time to try going back to a public school setting! LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have read several of Brene Brown’s books and really liked them. I have also read Glennon Doyle’s first two books, which were awesome. I follow her on IG but I am finding her annoying on there. It’s just me. I might’ve even unfollowed her, I don’t even remember. I am not familiar with Rachel Hollis. Nor Jonathan. But I’m sure you’re not surprised by that cuz you know I don’t watch TV. (Well, most of the time.) 😉

    I am so happy for Ella; so happy that she’s thriving and has found her groove. And for you, too. It sounds like you have found your groove, too. I’m still looking, thinking, wondering WTF most days…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love that quote, whoever wrote it. I admit I had never heard of any of those people, but I how fun that two of them bumped into each other. So glad that Ella has found her way with your guidance. Great job reading the signs that she needed a different setting. And, yes – that is a really fun photo of her.

    I am excited for you and the energy that you are giving this book, I look forward to the direction this project is giving you. Love epiphany moments.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. KARI!! Your kids are so lucky to have you!
    So many things to say but the best line of all, “if a fucking reality star can divide.a country…..” PREACH SISTER PREACH!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I didn’t want to like Brene Brown either, for no reason whatsoever… but I read her words and saw a TED talk which made me like her. I don’t know much about Glennon Doyle other than I see some great quotes attributed to her. I’ve never heard of Rachel Hollis. As for following arrows, figurative and literal, I’m all for it. I’m glad you’ve found your way forward. We all should be so lucky.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Brene Brown’s voice also sounds like a friend of mine, which is also why I probably like her too.

      Speaking of arrows and following them, there is a country song that I used to love (and I don’t normally love a lot of country songs) by Kacey Musgraves called Follow Your Arrow. It’s pretty good if you listen closely to the lyrics.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I have an aversion to self-help gurus, too–but I do love Brene Brown. She’s not a self-proclaimed helper whose main attributes seem to be that she’s young, white, skinny, flippant, and can make pretty Instagram posts. She’s got credentials, and it shows.

    I started following Glennon years ago, before she got so big. I miss the old Glennon, but she’s following her arrows and more power to her.

    As for you–just go, girl. Follow those arrows and your heart. (I love Kacey Musgraves.) Write that book. But also? The writing you do here counts, too. I wrote a small book and it won a small award and mostly what I learned from that experience is that (for me) publishing and awards aren’t what it’s about. Connecting with a reader is. If books get you to more readers, or awards get you to more readers, that’s great. It’s awesome. But it’s easy for the connecting with readers stuff to get lost in all the business of it.

    Also, I love all your words about Ella. I’m so glad she’s finding her own way, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, yes, yes. I said those aloud while reading your comment. I wish there were comments that you could hear. Now that is an invention!

      Friend, FRIENDDDDD (I wish you could have heard that in my voice too), I just wrote my book for a solid two hours straight this morning (manageable migraine and all) about the connection with my readers on this blog and how much all of you mean to me. Soul family is my new word that I found in a book I just bought and it is my favorite word of the decade. A word that I found in the WORST year ever, or is it? Is this the worst year when I find my favorite word, write a book, and connect with some of my favorite people on the planet. My soul family, whom I am writing this book with, for, alongside. Following my arrows along the way.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If the best things come out of the cracks of broken things, is the breaking bad? Or necessary? Glennon is the one (I think?) who coined the word “brutiful”–a combination of “brutal” and “beautiful”–because the most amazing things in this world so often contain elements of both. I think we may look back on this year that way. Sometimes things need to break down for something better to emerge. But the breaking hurts, damnit.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Of the three you listed, the only one I like is Brene. In the game of one of these things is not like the other – she has the education and the science. Those things are important. (But like Rita, I do like the brutifal word.)

    I’m so excited about your book (you’re right, it’s needed) and so glad you’ve helped Ella find her joy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. YES. That is what I was thinking but I am glad YOU said it LMAOOOO.

      I am so excited about my book too, is it wrong that I am excited about it?? No, it isn’t wrong. I should BE! I worked on it this morning for three-plus hours and it felt good to be doing so. I can’t wait to share it with the world, I am so proud of it already. I remember hearing an author who didn’t have kids once say, she felt like she was giving birth while writing a book and people were giving her a hard time about it. I GET IT COMPLETELY. I understand what she was talking about now. It DOES feel like that. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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