Thank you all for the loving and kind words about Joy. She still hasn’t returned home and I am still so sad. I don’t know how to feel about where she might be but deep down I hope she is safe and warm (but not too hot) and not hungry. I hope she is with bird friends and flying high. She has always loved other birds, so I hope that is what she was looking for. But I miss her little voice and I miss her presence.
It is too quiet in our home.
I am publishing the August tater tot post a week early in honor of my sweet friend Rachel, one of my biggest supporters over the years and just a great person. She is a nurse in Ohio and she is on bed rest fighting coronavirus.
Keep fighting it friend and keep giving your state HELL about wearing masks.
I love you so much.
We are an ally to all of our friends. I believe that we can be better and I believe that some of you out there that are reading this really want to be better too, but don’t know how to do that. Maybe you don’t even know what an ally is and are too afraid to ask. It’s okay to ask questions, so here is what the definition of an ally is:
Being an ally means someone is willing to act with and for others in pursuit of ending oppression and creating equality. An ally is someone whose personal commitment to fighting oppression and prejudice is reflected in willingness to educate oneself about different identities and experiences.
Being an ally to our friends and family is a pleasant thing to do, is the right thing to do. What happened to caring about each other? I feel like being a nice person just isn’t valued anymore, being soft is mocked. More about that at the end of the post.
By the way senior citizens? We love you so, so much, and we want you here on this planet. You are such a huge resource to all of us. Your stories are so important, and we still have so many things we need to learn from all of you.
And yes, they get that message.
That they aren’t wanted on this planet.
Isn’t that horribly sad?
Oprah used to say all the time, “when you know better, you do better”. Of course, she was paraphrasing Maya Angelou telling her that in conversation, but the takeaway is this: if you are unwilling to know better, then I don’t want to know you.
We need to want to know better. It isn’t our fault necessarily; they have led astray us for a long time and I want us to get back on the right path.
Not an easy tater tot post this month but one to awaken your senses and make you THINK because I think we have gotten too bored, too busy being complacent, muddling through.
So I shared this with my girls last month and told them to give this one a deep hard and long think for the next month and they are still mulling it over. Anna answered right away with what she thought she looked like and I said that isn’t what it asked, and so she is still thinking about it.
I am still thinking long and hard and my answer isn’t ready yet.
So I have homework for all of you.
What would you rename yourself?
Or are you content with the name you were given at birth?
My mom sent this to me a few weeks ago. I love this story and I love Dr. Bertice Berry (her voice is so soothing too). Take the time to watch it.
Free Mom Hugs founder shares her beautiful story (if you’ve never heard of this, you need to today)
Do you want to hear a full-circle moment? My dad liked the following link on Linked In, so I clicked on it and found out it was written by a friend I met at an Erma Bombeck Writing Conference several years ago. I love that.
Snopes is a fact-checking site. Pass it on to someone you know who might need to use it. How does it work? If you aren’t sure about a story you are reading online, type the story in the search bar on the site and it will look the story up for you.
And lastly, I have shared this here before. Pass this on to someone you know who might need to read it: 6 Reasons “All Lives Matter” Doesn’t Work In Terms Simple Enough For a Child
I used to want to get upset with people who were uneducated on what was really happening in the world. Those who had a very skewed view of the virus, science, politics, and the people in other countries.
Then I would just unfollow them altogether because I needed to protect my sanity during the beginning of all of this because it was too much to bear.
But then I remembered this quote:
Seeing that quote from another time woke me up, kind of like when you wake up out of a dream.
A few days before seeing that quote, I had been watching an interview between a reporter and our president in which our leader used divisive words about his own country, primarily about leaders who run major metropolitan cities within his own country.
Now, this wasn’t the first time I had heard these words used by our president in reference to people in his own country, but it was the words in this interview that made me snap out of it. Like someone shaking me awake out of a bad dream saying, “wait a second, leaders should be uniting us, not dividing us”.
And it got me thinking, how on Earth did we let this happen to us?
This is happening HERE.
In the United States of America.
U N I T E D
Definition of united: joined together politically, for a common purpose, or by common feelings.
In the process of being nasty (and we are being very nasty, I am watching) to each other, we are kind of missing the point that the person who is supposed to unite us as a country has completely divided us. Instead of running a country, he is running a smear campaign.
So I have an interesting perspective; an analogy of sorts.
Stay with me and see what you think. I am not trying to sway you to my side of the fence, I am simply sick and tired of seeing people being mean to each other.
It’s one thing to have an educated give and take about differences. It is quite another to call each other names, pick on things such as weight, color, gender, and so on. It has become so mean-spirited, so vindictive, so hateful.
Here is my analogy.
We have been lucky to have had supportive parents for many years but then all of a sudden those parents got divorced and we got a new stepdad four years ago and some of us weren’t too happy about it.
The new stepdad decided that he didn’t like some of his new stepchildren and starts telling those stepchildren things about themselves.
You are dumb. You are stupid. You are bad. You are a mess. Horrible. You never listen and so on. Over and over and over. That being soft makes you a snowflake and that in turn makes you worthless, no good, and that the way your household is being run is horrible, that we need to be doing it completely differently. HIS way or the highway.
After a while, the step-siblings listening to this language on the other side, begin to believe all of these things that are being said and they start to repeat what they hear. Repeating to the other sibling that yes, you ARE stupid, you ARE dumb, you ARE a mess, go AWAY.
And THEY begin to believe those words about that sibling as well. They begin to look at their siblings differently. Those same siblings that they got along with all those years were all of a sudden becoming mortal enemies because of the words they were hearing over and over and over. I mean, can you blame them?
All of this has been psychologically proven to be true, you know. I am not making it up for dramatic effect or to prove a point. It even has a name.
It’s called mental abuse.
We have become a dysfunctional family.
It is no wonder we are all divided. It’s no wonder other countries are laughing at us, making fun of us.
We are that family at the company picnic that people are pointing and staring and laughing at. You know the one; the family that is arguing, punching, and fighting all the way to the car before heading home.
We are an utter embarrassment.
I feel so very sad for us.
Oh sure, there are always those “siblings” that never liked us to begin with, who like to argue for argument’s sake, like to stir the pot, like drama. I think we all know some “siblings” like that.
But I have never seen so many “siblings” like this in my entire life and that is because we don’t have a leader.
We have an evil stepfather.
You know, being soft isn’t such a bad thing.
Being called a snowflake isn’t the worst thing one could be called, I suppose.
I mean, I can definitely think of much worse things to be called.
Being caring and kind is good. It means you’re human.
Promise me this going into the next month, go into it with fresh eyes about something you don’t necessarily understand about your “sibling”.
Reconnect with your “sibling”.
Maybe try and remember what it is that you used to like about your “sibling”.
You know, your “sibling” was never bad, to begin with.
Try and remember that.
You have two pieces of homework this month:
1- what would you rename yourself if you could?
2- reconnect with a “sibling”
I never said reading my blog was ever easy.
PS- I promise next month will be funny again.
PPS- But for real, wear a mask. Do it for my Mom, Dad, and Rachel. They are all pretty fucking fantastic.
Beautiful, beautiful snowflakes, floating down to earth
All created to be unique, each holding significant worth
Just like an intricate snowflake, we come from up above
To bless the world with beauty, to sparkle the world with love
No two of us are alike, we hold our own design
And because we are so different, we get a chance to shine
When God makes snowflakes, I think he takes great care
He works on every detail, he makes them precious and rare
He lovingly spends time on every one, he blesses them all the way through
He cares this much about snowflakes, imagine what he thinks about you
-Mandy Williams (No Two Are Alike)