I feel like that is a good metaphor for my life. You either like me or you don’t.
I have blogging friends who write the best posts that are the perfect length. I wish I could be less chatty in a blog post. But see, either I have too much to say or not enough.
There is no in-between with me.
Here is my attempt at a shorter post with what is exactly on my mind right now.
There has already been an outbreak of the virus that doesn’t exist at Anna’s college campus and of course, it was at a party on the first weekend. She wasn’t at that party but as we know, you don’t have to be AT a party to catch it.
She called me on Saturday and afterward, I did what I do best when I am upset: I rage-cleaned my entire basement. The Goodwill attendant gasped when I pulled up; I could tell even WITH his mask on.
Because when your adult child (who has an underlying condition) is a bit freaked out and lives three hours away and this could have been prevented? Well, let’s just say my fucking house is spotless.
My advice to her was to continue to keep in her bubble of friends, continue to wash her hands, continue to mask up in public, and of course, vote in November.
Because this generation? THEY ARE PISSED. Nothing gets young Americans in a lather more than their right to party being taken away, which is happening at college campuses all over our country as I write this.
And there is a boom of kids who were born in the year 2000 (LOTS of them) who weren’t eligible to vote in the last election, so they are quite excited to exercise that muscle come November.
There’s a reason mailboxes are going missing.
What the hell is a Derecho?
I’ll tell you what it is. IT’S SCARY AS FUCK, THAT’S WHAT IT IS.
Two weeks ago, it was a crappy Monday. Ever have a day where everything is going wrong AND it happens to fall on a Monday AND it happens in a pandemic?
So I was minding my own business when all of a sudden I am on Facebook and one of my friends says something to the effect of, “get your candles out because Chicago is getting 110 mile per hour winds”. I thought she was kidding, like a chain letter kind of Facebook post, so I went on with my day.
Until I saw people legitimately getting freaked out about it.
So then I went to the Weather Channel App and sure enough, she was wrong. We weren’t getting 110 miles per hour winds.
We were getting 100 miles per hour winds.
SEE HOW THESE THINGS GET STARTED, PEOPLE??
Sorry, a little Facebook humor. So anyhoo, I was getting a little nervous so I put on Ye Olde Weather Channel on the television set (remember those?) and it was running nonstop footage of a storm in Iowa with winds so strong that a flag was being ripped from a flag pole.
And of course, to hammer the point home, Ye Olde Weather Channel was playing the footage.
Over and over and over.
As well as the weather on the 10’s.
Yes, they still do that.
It was oddly comforting.
I would show you the flag ripping video but the only footage available to me is on Facebook and I am currently in a Facebook sabbatical so, in all transparency, I can’t share a Facebook link. Google it for yourselves.
You can only imagine what seeing this video over and over and over was doing for my anxiety of what was in store for the Chicago area.
As well as the reporter saying, CHICAGO, THIS IS WHAT’S COMING FOR YOU!
Over and over and over.
Apparently, a “derecho” was headed our way (click on the link to see the definition because I need to shorten this post, remember?).
I had never heard of a derecho until this year. I had also never heard of coronavirus, social distancing, community spread, or flattening the curve until this year, so when I heard derecho, I didn’t even flinch.
APPARENTLY, NEW VOCABULARY WORDS ARE A “THING” IN 2020.
NOTE TO SELF: SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR A DICTIONARY FOR CHRISTMAS 2019.
It was when General Hospital was interrupted with our local news that I knew shit was getting real. Not that I ever watch General Hospital, but I had sneaking suspicion that a “derecho” wasn’t a good word for weather in the same way “community spread” isn’t a good word for a college kegger so I left the channel that General Hospital was on to be safe.
We got down to our basement just in time for the power to go out and what we heard, saw, and felt will sit with us for a while. Like, it felt like we experienced a tornado yet it wasn’t? The air pressure in our house was so intense, the sky was green and the house was creaking. It was scary, to say the least, and even my normally, very calm local friends and family were also sufficiently freaked out.
I wasn’t even gonna mention it here until I read it on my friend Rita’s blog last Monday when she mentioned it in her post and then I was like, oh wow, people outside of the Midwest had heard about it? Wow, that Facebook does get the word out, or maybe it was the compelling flag video on ye olde Weather Channel.
I mean, it was kind of traumatic but here’s the thing, every damn day is traumatic and I feel like we just bury it.
Which really worries me about our level of trauma and how we are all burying it.
Let that sit with you.
I had a “Joy” dream the other day.
Only it was of the moment she flew out of the house over and over again.
Kind of like the Marcia getting hit in the face with the football over and over dream.
What does this mean? What does it signify?
Not Marcia getting hit in the nose with the football.
I haven’t had one dream of Joy since she left us and this dream came to me one morning right before I woke up.
I could feel my exact reaction when she flew out of the house and it was horrible. It was like reliving the pain all over again. I hated that I was reliving it again and it made me mad at myself for dreaming it.
I had a realization a few weeks ago that maybe we lost the three pets this year as a punishment for how we handled giving away a dog 13 years ago. We gave him up for adoption, we didn’t abandon him at all in a way that is inappropriate but we abandoned him all the same and I don’t feel we gave him what he deserved on earth.
I wrote about it a few years ago but I haven’t had the guts to publish it.
I was going to a few weeks ago but chickened out.
I might do it down the road but maybe that dream was my conscience punishing me yet again?
I had a spirit funeral for that dog a few weeks ago but I still continually mourn him as well.
GAHHHH THIS YEAR IS KILLING MY SOUL.
My friend Kristen gets my humor, so when I send her texts like these randomly, she humors me.
I think this idea would go over well in areas where it doesn’t get cold.
Can you even provide six feet of social distancing on a bicycle built for two?
I THINK IT’S A GREAT IDEA.
Stop judging me, Jesus. It’s been a hefty year.
We are studying the Great Depression in homeschool in order to feel better about our current lives.
Does this make me a bad person?
What?? We can’t be in church anymore, Jesus because see, there is this virus.
Why am I telling you this? You already know.
By the way, I have been off of Facebook for a week and I have already added two new chapters to my book, 10,000 more words, and gotten more work around the house done than I have in over a month.
I had no idea it was that much of a time-waster for me.
In fact, I didn’t realize how much time I was even there.
I am also realizing that I am happier.
So that is my little science experiment for the week, go forth and use that how you wish.
Jesus agrees with me, don’t you, Jesus.
I am gonna burn in hell.
And this wasn’t a short post at all.
Oh well, I’ll have time to work on that.