Humor

My Baby Story Wouldn’t Make It to TLC. Animal Planet, Maybe?

2020 note- The next two weeks of reblogs will be about connecting two stories. This post is about Anna’s birth story which I wrote as a submission for a book that was being written back in 2015 titled, “It’s Really 10 Months“. 

The piece that I originally submitted was horrible. I have since edited it considerably, so the post you are reading today is not at ALL the piece the three authors had originally read, so keep that in mind while you are reading it. 

Also, this piece didn’t make the cut because it was poorly written but I was bitter about it, which is why I am going to be sharing the public email and letter to the authors that I wrote on my blog, next Friday. Because I think it is important to admit publicly when you are wrong.

And I was wrong. 


First published September…

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8 thoughts on “My Baby Story Wouldn’t Make It to TLC. Animal Planet, Maybe?”

  1. I love this post so much! And I agree every day should be fucking Mother’s day!
    Whew, you had a tough one. Do you remind Anna all the time how hard it was? Do you tell her about your plug and bloody show? 🙂
    I had a bit of morning sickness (various times, not always morning either) and I was induced with Lolo and nothing happened. We ended up with a c-section too, and a moment after they laid her on my chest, I turned my head and vomited all the ice chips from the day of labor.
    How sweet is that? I don’t recall a glow in the room, but I choose to think of our ancestors coming to join and welcome new life to the family.
    Also, Merry Christmas, the shitters full had me LOL’ING!!

    Thanks for sharing your story. XO

    Like

    1. I LOVE hearing birth stories!! I would read a book full of every woman’s birth stories. For real.
      I used to watch a show on TLC called A Baby Story back in the 90s and early 2000s religiously. I miss that show.

      And yes, every day should be Mother’s Day. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I used to watch A Baby Story too!!! Oh, I can so relate to this. Lad was a full two weeks late. Induced. Forceps. I begged the doc to strip my membranes so I could go into labor on my own. He laughed. Out loud. I wasn’t even the tiniest bit dilated so that was not happening. I never went into labor, induced all 6 times. I had never heard of anyone going home with a catheter still in, but ahem, that happened (only after Lad). My Mom drove me to the doctor’s office with Lad maybe a week later, to have the catheter removed, which of course had gotten infected. I told Mom, Lad might have to be an only child. She insisted that I would forget. I told her, “I might forgive but I will NEVER forget.” And I haven’t. Oh, the puling. I puked the most with Lad and Curly. Strange, but true. I feel like I should’ve been a delivery nurse, but I would be passed out most of the time and that might have become an occupational hazard. Love the belly photos. OMG, Tank was 10 olbs 3 oz. Someday I will show you the day before the baby is born photos. Lawdy, I was HUGE.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I loved that we both watched that show!
      OMG, I am so glad I didn’t have to have the dreaded forceps.

      10 pounds!
      My brother was 12 pounds!
      Both of my girls were 9 pounds plus but Anna was two weeks late, so that was to be expected. Ella was two weeks early, so I can’t imagine how big she would have been if I had gone to term!

      Like

  3. I also wore overalls in the late 90s, for whatever that’s worth (not much, I suspect). And at least you knew about the mucus plug. I didn’t learn about it until it appeared in the toilet. At 32 weeks. I’d been hospitalized at 29 weeks because of bleeding and contractions (basically, I was in labor every day for more than two months) for more than two weeks, and you’d think someone in all that might have told me about that plug and what it meant. Nope.

    I love all those pics of young you and your tummy and those pants. OMG, those pants! 🙂 And I’m so sorry to hear about your all-day sickness; that sounds awful. You and Princess Kate, I guess?

    Finally, my mom told me the same thing as your mom–that once you hold the baby, all the pain doesn’t matter. I don’t really know, as I was unconscious for the birth of mine, but I do know that in spite of a tumultuous pregnancy/birth (and conception, but that’s a whole other story), I loved being pregnant and think it was one of the most amazing experiences I’ll ever have. Sounds like yours was, too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really want to bring back overalls and feel like a pandemic is just the time to do it.
      So I never saw my mucus plug. Neither time. I only heard about it. I feel gipped.

      I kept a pair of maternity pants until 2017 for holiday meals.
      I am not being funny or ironic.

      Princess Kate had it much worse than I.
      My friend Melanie too.
      I remember at one point only Fig Newtons made me feel better.
      Isn’t that absolutely disgusting? I feel like that pretty much sums up the first trimester of pregnancy.

      It was the two best experiences of my life. When they were over, I was sad. When my belly was empty, both times, it felt so anti-climatic. I mean, I was so happy to have my babies but I so loved being pregnant with them too.

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  4. As a childfree woman all I can say is I love your story and your photos. I have nothing of a personal nature to add to this, but I do look forward to your next post about being wrong. I am wrong quit often, feeling that it might be the subtext of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Being wrong and not being able to admit it was really hard for me for a long time. I’d like to say that was a perimenopause thing but I feel like it was a lifelong thing. But it is as I am a few weeks from being officially IN menopause that I am getting good at admitting my faults, that I am owning up to things.

      Or maybe it’s this whole “end of days” vibe that’s going on.

      Liked by 1 person

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