Humor, Music, My Book, Nonsense, Tater Tots, Universe

Screw It, I’m Eating Tater Tots- Episode 19 (Welcome to the Menopausedome)

When I was 14, this album was released:

Welcome to the Pleasuredome
Courtesy Jeff Bezos and his billions of dollars

Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s Welcome to the Pleasuredome. It was revolutionary given that they were openly gay in 1984. The word “period” wasn’t even permitted on television until a year later, in a Playtex commercial.

I don’t recall it being groundbreaking, but that could be because I am now 50 years old and have had so much shit thrown at me in the last year alone that I can’t even remember what I ate for breakfast two days ago.

Sit back, relax (the song, by the way, is about sex), and welcome to the menopausedome.


In case you think getting older is glamorous, consider this: I have to email myself reminders to shave my upper lip, schedule my first ever colonoscopy, and get a shingles vaccine.

my next chapter

I finished my book three days after entering menopause, and now I’m trying to figure out what to do with it next.

Coming into my menopause months, I had some bumpy moments that I affectionately refer to as “turbulence.” The landing was rough, to be honest, but I’m doing fine now that I’m on the runway.

The Universe book, has been really beneficial to me during the last few months. It has cleared my headspace, making my landing much smoother, even in the midst of this pandemic.


blooming while falling apart

I planted zinnias in two pots on our patio back in May a week after I went to the emergency room for the migraine. I wasn’t feeling well, but I just wanted to feel normal again and go back to a routine.

My migraine cycles resumed again a week after the initial planting, so I was out of commission for the next two months. I remember looking out the window at one point and seeing that my poor zinnias were dying.

I was heartbroken.

One evening while on the patio trying to revive them, I said to Mike, “they’re unhappy. Like me.”

Over the course of summer, I made it my mission to help my poor zinnias. Then I noticed something.

I was also slowly coming back to life, and I was cheering them on as much as I could muster.

WE CAN DO THIS LITTLE FLOWERS.

I have never loved the flowers so much. The sweet zinnias that cheered me on the summer I was in so much pain.

*Edited to add- I should’ve named these Emotional Zinnias.

*Also, that would’ve made an EXCELLENT rock band name.


screw it, I’m eating apple crisp

I found this recipe for apple crisp in August, and I made it on Labor Day. I thought immediately of my friend Ernie who eats gluten-free, but I also thought of fall and decided that I would make it because I thought my husband and my youngest daughter might like it too.

I don’t take blog-worthy pictures because I eat my food out of the pan.

I ended up eating the entire pan by myself that afternoon. Because of menopause.


au Naturale

Remember the hair intervention I talked about earlier this year? Well, besides letting my hair grow all willy-nilly, I also haven’t colored my hair since February. I think the mentality is that I’m not leaving the house until the summer of 2021, so who the hell cares what I look like.

My hair must really have been short to be this short after not getting truly cut since February

So I need a superb babushka of some sort to cover my entire head. Like a bandana or a wrap that I can put around my head without looking like a fortune teller. So I look like a cool hippie from the sixties who smells of patchouli and knows where to buy the good weed.


 links

Anything men can do I can do bleeding

My feelings matter too

What is slow living? Plus 5 things it’s not. 

School, as we know it, is over. Now it’s time to reimagine it

Doom scrolling during COVID-19: what it does to you and how you can avoid it

Here’s what the Gilmore Girls house would look like today (I’m not sure I like it, personally)

But will we ever wear bras again? (I’m looking at you, Rita, and Katie)

The escapist land of “cottagecore”, from Marie Antoinette to Taylor Swift 


watch


 listen

I found this on Spotify last month and I can’t stop listening to this over and over. It’s not a Christian song, don’t let the name fool you. 

And this one too:

And I could not forget:


fu**ing mod cakes

These should be illegal.


thinkers


 universal

I’ve been starting each day by opening my universe book and wherever it lands, considering it a sign from said universe. I read while drinking my morning coffee, and it has become church for me.

I have noticed that as the weather has cooled down, I am slowing down as well. I sit in the morning’s stillness before the house wakes up and I take it all in. The day, my life, the world.

In a time where there doesn’t seem like there is much to look forward to, I have found something to look forward to each day.


Christian donuts

Since this is October, I want to share with you a recipe for donuts that are so, so, so good. I found this on Pinterest in September and I made them one day when I was sad.

I lighted some candles because it felt like the Christian donuts warranted them.

The recipe comes from a blogger who declares herself to be a Christian, which is nice, but my blog is full of a lot of FU**S and SHITS and FARTS AND POOPS.

It made me pause because the day after I made the delicious Christian donuts; I ended up with quite a headache.

I considered it a sign from God to tone it down with the fu**s and shits and farts and poops.

So enjoy the holy donuts.

They’re delicious, AND you won’t have to go to church after eating them.


I love to fart, and I am not afraid to tell you this

Speaking of farts.

LISTEN, I have little to live for these days, and not too many things bring me happiness anymore. Except for those stupid mod cakes and the entire pan of apple crisp, Christian donuts, and the occasional rage singing in my car.

But there is just nothing, NOTHING, like a good fart when you are in menopause.

It is pure, unadulterated joy.

It’s those little things that get us through the tough times .

One toot at a time.

Toot, toot, toot.

20 thoughts on “Screw It, I’m Eating Tater Tots- Episode 19 (Welcome to the Menopausedome)”

  1. Way back in March my wife’s regular yarn store (and it’s really a cool thing that she has a regular yarn store) mailed out zinnia seeds to a bunch of their customers because they said zinnias represent love in absence. I think we should also add “survival” to what they represent.
    Anyway I believe my Y-chromosome is enough to say how I feel about farting but I registered a “yes” vote. And even in these turbulent times another thing that makes me proud to be an American is that Benjamin Franklin wrote an essay called “Fart Proudly”.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Your comments are bringing me joy in the most troubling of times, Christopher.
      Also, there used to be a store called Ben Franklin that sold yarn in the Ohio town where I grew up and I felt like it fit nicely with this comment. It felt very full-circle. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well this is the way to start a Monday- getting mentioned in Kari’s Tater Tot post. I am gonna need to try the Apple crisp. Yum.

    I remember being in freshman algebra watching as the Challenger exploded. I look forward to watching the documentary. And I will have to come back and watch some of those links.

    Love the middle finger quote and the ‘enjoy your next 240 periods’ one. Too funny!

    Wow- the book is done? Congrats. I hope you get great constructive feedback on it.

    Love that your flowers made a comeback. I planted some inpatients or something (?) in boxes on the railing of the deck. They looked great. Then they died. But before I could clean the boxes out (who am I kidding- end of fall I just shove em back in garage) they bloomed again. But only the pink ones- not the white. Weird?

    I did not know that period was not said on TV until 1986. Crazy.

    Enjoy your Monday!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I made that apple crisp again and I did something wrong the second time and it wasn’t as good; definitely error on my part. It was delicious so I know you will really love this recipe.

      I have two barrels that also flank the driveway and I always plant flowers in them but the one on the left never does well. The one on the right blooms insanely well. Something is amiss and I plan to get to the bottom of it. I never cared before the pandemic. But now, I need to get to the bottom of it.

      I didn’t know that period Playtex fact either. Stunning, really.

      Happy Monday, friend. 😘

      Like

  3. I’m sorry your zinnias. Some years are like that. I need to make some apple crisp, it is that time of year. I’ve gone full hippy hair. Give me a few more months and I’ll look like Carol King on the cover of Tapestry.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You can’t remember what you ate for breakfast two days ago…oh, honey, you’re lucky if I can remember what I ate for breakfast today!

    Love your zinnias story.

    I still have that Universe book in my Amazon wish list. I’m waiting for the price to go down. Ho hum!

    Your hair…I think it looks cute! You’re lucky your hair looks that good after not getting it cut or colored for so long. I can’t even stand what my hair looks like after six weeks! I actually have to start wearing headbands and that ain’t pretty. That’s the one thing that I’ve been keeping up on – my hair.

    The TED talk was fantastic. Thank you. Going to check out some of your other links.

    Whoever that young woman, Halsey is ~ she has a beautiful voice. Hadn’t heard of her.

    I’m definitely a farter but I rarely burp. I guess it has to come out of one end or the other!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I usually eat the same thing so that’s even more concerning. 😳

      It’s such a good book and I have used it so much since I bought it, well worth the 15 dollars I paid.

      My hair must have had a lot of layers in it because it looks pretty short from the back still. And I feel like the color looks dark but in pictures it doesn’t look all that bad. It’s the gray coming through that’s freaking me out a bit. Just need to get used to it.

      I’m so glad you liked her TED talk. I love her so much. Just so inspiring.

      Halsey is so amazing. I love almost everything she sings. Also love the song, Without Me.

      Who doesn’t love a good fart now and then? Although lately it’s been more now than then. 😂

      Like

  5. I put a bra on yesterday because I had to actually go into work for a minute, and it was so uncomfortable. All of my future wardrobe choices for tops will be garments in which I will feel comfortable going braless. Period. (Yeah, it is great not to have periods anymore. I hope Courtney is able to feel truly comfortable these days, with the comfort that comes from not having to stuff a wad of cotton up yourself OR worry about getting pregnant.)

    I took your poll. I’m with the majority, for sure. I will always remember with delight a rainy camping trip in which my mother and one of her usually-proper best friends sat at the camper trailer table drinking wine and talking stupid (something my mom rarely does) and decided that America needed a different FFA club–the Free Farters of America. We still laugh about that.

    Having recently immersed myself deep in the Gilmore world, I can testify that all those imaginings of the modern-day living room are crap. Did they ever look at Luke’s apartment? Or Lorelei’s living room? Or Rory’s bedroom? No, clearly they didn’t. Did that person see Lorelei’s horror when Emily decided to Mari Kondo her house? Surely not.

    Finally, yes to Frankie. But ohmygod that video! What was going on with that white glove and the Members Onlyish leather jacket? Dang.

    Like

    1. I am making a Free Farters of America tee shirt. I absolutely adore that.

      I whole-heartedly agree with all of those Gilmore Girls’ statements. It’s like they used Emily Gilmore’s decorator to redo all of those rooms; or more than likely used someone who had never watched the show, to begin with. By the way, it’s 20 years old this fall so I am watching it all again. I always watch GG in the fall for some reason.

      I miss the 80s, especially now. 🙂

      Like

  6. Ooh, a bookclub but for documentaries sounds fun.

    Come to my house if you like farts. My kids view it as a competition of sorts, which drives me crazy. It’s kinda cute with BG, because she’s so tiny and cute anyway, but then there’s LM with all his nastiness. Lawd.

    I am so excited for you and your novel! I think being able to start and finish something like that is such an accomplishment ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Doesn’t it? Especially as the weather gets cooler and our country gets darker and darker. 😂

      I love a good old fashioned fart competition!

      I’m excited too, especially now that I’m done with the initial writing of it! But I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. OK, so I voted on the fart poll, but I need to add a caveat. I enjoy farting, I mean I’m human. BUT I do not support my husbands farts. Every one of his farts is a celebration, and it’s one I am forced to attend. There is a big difference between women farts and man farts. I don’t care how sexist it makes me feel, I don’t support men’s farts.

    Also that cake looks dangerously good. Like my mallomars, too dangerous for humans.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. What is wrong with you?
    You really do make me laugh…thanks for that.
    Emotional Zinnias. That would be a great band name.
    I’m adding The Playbook and The Challenger to my Netflix list.
    I love Halsey and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. I had a funky white short sleeve sweatshirt in the 80’s that had RELAX in fluorescent pink writing. I was all about Frankie and I thought I was cool.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I ask myself that question HOURLY, Suz. I really should change the blog name to What is WRONG With Me?
      Emotional Zinnias with an opening band called The Anxious Geraniums.
      I HAVE ANOTHER DOCUMENTARY! “Dick Johnson is Dead”. Mike and I watched it last night and I was crying at the end like I was a family member of Dick’s. It is quirky, lovely, weird, and just amazing. I know you will love it.

      I loved the year of the RELAX tee shirts, the neon, all of it. It was a great time to be alive and young in the 80s. 🙂

      Like

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