I’ve mentioned to you several times about my new “Universal” self. This evolved Kari. This new-age hippie shit Kari. I began minimizing the items within my home. Then I listened to my oldest daughter who told me about manifesting things to help us live our best life. This then led me to find a book on Amazon that I intended to give to her as a returning to college gift in August but I began reading for myself knowing how full her schedule was for the fall.
During one of those morning reads, I found a reference to another author, Florence Scovel Shinn.
Sarah Prout, the author of the Universe book, talked about Florence’s book, The Magic Path of Intuition, and mentioned something in it that made me take down her name and look the book up at that moment.
But when I looked up Florence Scovel Shinn, I discovered she has been dead since 1940.
Well, that explains why it was hard to find the book on Amazon, I laughed to myself.
So I looked online for the book at my local library and placed a hold. A few weeks later, I got an email that it was in and I ran over to pick it up. Within a week of having it, I had finished the book, and it was the first time in my life that I could honestly say, a book had changed my life.
I believe I once said theYou are a Badass book by Jen Sincero had changed my life.
And it did.
At that time.
Ish. Kind of.
So, this is the thing. I didn’t finish that book.
YES, I KNOW. I wrote a post about a book, and I didn’t read the entire book. But I read most of it. I think there were like; I don’t know, 20 chapters (don’t quote me) and I probably read like, 11?
Okay, so I read over half of the book.
I have literal ADD. Reading is really hard for me.
I am not making a case for myself here, but let’s just say I felt like a badass after reading 11 chapters. BETTER?
But after reading The Magic Path of Intuition, a book I read every single word of, mind you (it’s not an enormous book), my life truly felt changed.
I should also say that my Universe book has been life-changing as well, but not in the short time that Florence’s book has been. The Universe book has been incrementally life-changing. Day by day, it has helped me through unique challenges and made me feel so much better about situations, even though I haven’t yet read every single word in that book, but I am slowly making my way.
It was while I was reading Florence’s intuition book that I purchased an anthology of her other works (that were available on Amazon) because I had fallen so in love with her ideas within the book I had gotten from the library.
Listen, I have nothing to gain by sharing this with you. I don’t need you to donate to any foundation; I am not part of a religious cult, nor do I need you to believe in God, Jesus, the Bible, or any other religion. I don’t need you to click on any links or buy a book. I simply want a better life for all of us.
I briefly talked about a principle that Doc Rivers said changed his life back in last month’s tater tot post and I do plan to talk about it next month in more detail but the basic philosophy is:
“I AM BECAUSE WE ARE.”
If I am good, then you are good. If you are good, then I am good. Something that Americans have a hard time understanding, apparently.
Because if we have learned anything about immunity this year, it is that we all need to be good together in order to survive or at the very least, to be healthy, to survive, to thrive.
Again, a concept that Americans seem to struggle with
We all need to be less selfish.
I AM BECAUSE WE ARE.
We need to get better emotionally, spiritually, and honestly, the negative energy is getting emotionally DRAINING.
We need to be better.
I see a lot of people messing up. Even people who think they aren’t messing up. Even people who are being self-righteous and trying not to be, are messing up.
I know this because I was one of them.
I began doing homework of my own, homeschooling myself around the time I began homeschooling again for this school year. Getting up early before the day started and trying to work on myself so I could be a better human being. Not to brag or to be self-righteous, but so I could stand to be around myself, honestly. Because it was getting harder and harder each day.
I noticed that I was slowly becoming depressed back in September and I was seeing it affecting my youngest daughter. I am alone with her most days because of my husband’s work schedule and with the pandemic, my migraines, the political climate, and the loneliness, it got to a point where I didn’t even want to get out of bed in the morning.
I needed an answer.
It came to me via the Universe book I had been reading, and then I found the intuition book. It felt like a handbook for life that we’ve all been asking for. It has since helped me in ways I can’t explain.
So I am giving you Cliff’s Notes version of what I have learned since reading some of Florence’s work because some of you aren’t sold on the Universe story I have been selling you.
I GET IT. It seems sketchy, doesn’t it?
Just hear me out.
I am calling them “universe-isms”.
The word came to me in the shower one day as a random thought, which I now thank the Universe for.
This leads me to my first lesson.
I will paraphrase and direct quote, pulling where necessary from The Magic Path of Intuition by Florence Scovel Shinn BUT I recommend checking it out from your local library or reading any of her other works.
I mean, her other books got all five-star reviews on Amazon, and she didn’t have to bribe bloggers to write those reviews.
Because she’s been dead for over 60 years.
Universe-ism #1-Let that shit go
Over the past 15 years, I was having very disturbing patterns happening in my life as it pertains to friendships. In fact, at one point, I got so paranoid that I even asked my friend Rebecca when I was at my most vulnerable, “is there something wrong with me? You’d tell me, right?” to which she assured me she would, but I even doubted her at that moment because I was so raw. These patterns had me so scared that I would lose even more friendships and made me doubt myself in unimaginable ways and made me do things that looking back, I am not at all proud of.
It was after reading the passage, “history will repeat itself until you think you are cursed with misfortune and injustice”, meaning I had convinced myself that I will always repeat this pattern subconsciously when I had a moment of HOLY SHIT I HAVE BEEN DOING IT TO MYSELF ALL THIS TIME.
I have heard of those people who forgive the murderers of their children, the people who forgave the person who killed their loved ones. The ones who go to the prisons to sit across from them and say, “I forgive you for what you did”.
I have watched them on documentaries or Dateline over the years and thought, “I don’t know how they can do that.” But now? I know why they do that. To stop the cycle, the pattern, so that they don’t carry this for the rest of their lives. If they can forgive this, they won’t repeat it forever. It’s less about being a better person and more about letting go of a burden.
I was tired of living in the prison of my creation, so I needed to forgive for the things that had happened to me in my life because it trapped me in that cycle. Until I forgave, those things were going to keep happening repeatedly.
Think of negative patterns that happen in your life, over and over and over. The kind of pattern that makes you think, “why does this always happen to me?
If you have none, good for you. You don’t need me. Have a nice day.
But if you are sitting there going HOLY BALLS! Then you need to think back to the first time that pattern happened. Think really hard. Because you need to heal, forgive, and move the hell on from that. In the book, she says that if you can’t forgive, you will be attached to that and until you are unaffected, you will suffer.
It immediately made me think of this quote:
Which immediately made me think of my struggle with migraines.
I have been drinking a lot of poison for a very long time and that can cause a lot of pain, don’t you think?
When I read those words, I cried the cry that has you and it all made so much sense. Oh sure, I have had pain from menopause, triggers, weather, and such, but I believe a lot of my pain comes from emotional places.
Then after I finished Florence’s first book, I read in her other book The Game of Life and How to Play It this exact quote, “sorrow, regret, and remorse tear down the cells of the body and poison the atmosphere of the individual“.
So this is where I am going to be vulnerable with all of you.
My pattern began with me being betrayed many years ago by someone I love. Then a few years later, I betrayed someone I love by sharing information that I probably shouldn’t have.
But here is the thing, for these years, I felt as though I was the one who was betrayed in that situation and because I had it turned around in my head; I was then betrayed twice after that within two other friendships. So the pattern happened repeatedly.
BUT it was all my doing.
I didn’t even realize all of this until after reading this book. It gave me the clarity to finally see it the way it actually happened and not the way I wanted to see how it happened. To make ME look good. I was so clouded because of the first betrayal to me, that it wasn’t visible to me all these years.
Then I “opened” this in my Universe book a week after “learning” all the above:
See that first paragraph up there?
“This belief that you must protect yourself from others probably stems from being betrayed- someone perhaps broke your trust. The flipside of this coin is that you might unconsciously see people as competition”.
After that initial betrayal to me so many years ago, I became so competitive in my life with everyone around me. With friends, family members, other bloggers, the mailman, you name it but I couldn’t understand why and I never saw the connection to the betrayal. Who was I? What happened to me? I had never been competitive like this in my life before then.
Then when I really thought about the WHY’S behind all the betrayals after that, it was because of competition. I didn’t want to seem like I was less than.
So with that second betrayal that I was guilty of, in order to keep myself from looking worse (competition), I ended up sharing information I shouldn’t have under the ruse of “helping someone out”.
I had to forgive the initial betrayal because in my heart I never had. It has sat with me all these years and grown and grown and grown and that was one big toxic poisonous tumor.
I am beginning the process of also forgiving myself too because even though I have been really hard on many people in my life (in my head only) and doing a lot of toxic things (in my head only), it is ME I have been hardest on, internally. I am slowly “letting that shit go” as they say.
I am doing my best to let that poison drain from my body, but I really wanted to share this with all of you because I feel like maybe a lot of you hold that poison in too.
I will share more brief lessons because, since learning, I feel so much lighter. I want you to feel lighter too because since feeling lighter; I feel happier as well, and my family is so much happier too.
Can you imagine that? I am happier than I have been in many years.
While the world is falling apart all around us.
Before I let you go I want to end with a song because MUSIC, but while I was reading my book and learning these lessons about myself, I was listening to a playlist on Spotify and this song came on over and over.
And it made me smile and laugh because it was a song from my childhood.
But also because of the lyrics:
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was younger
I wish that I knew what I know now
When I was stronger