My oldest daughter suggested to me during the summer that she would like to learn about manifesting one day. It was nothing deeper than that, lest you think this soul homework began when I traveled to the desert and meditated on it in a yurt for 48 hours.
I called for a transformation, and the act of manifesting piqued my interest because my life had become filled with negativity and pain.
I wasn’t on an antidepressant yet, I was still in full-fledged hot flashy, bloated-as hell perimenopause, I was having daily severe migraines, and I was on a restrictive migraine-friendly diet, which meant I was grumpy because I was hungry.
And then there were the gloomy everyday events of 2020. I needed something. ANYTHING.
So I headed to Amazon. I searched for “manifest” and purchased the first book that came up; a purple book about the universe. Within its pages, the book led me to another book that sounded interesting to me. I jotted down the title of the next book and placed a hold at my local library.
That book led me to another, so I scribbled the next book down and reserved it at the library. It was this maze of books that was creating an extraordinary experience.
Each book exposed me to new and thought-provoking perspectives. I was confronting my fears, challenging myself, and admitting my flaws. Before this soul homework, I thought I was open-minded; I was not.
Soul homework has been a transformative practice for me, and I hope it can be for you as well.
My soul had been so overburdened by the circumstances of the previous five years of perimenopause. To explain what I was doing each day, I coined the phrase “soul homework” one morning. My daily ritual includes lighting candles or incense, turning on my salt lamps, listening to music, reading books, and taking notes. It is spiritual homework for my soul.
Soul homework has been a transformative practice for me, and I hope it can be for you as well.
Soul homework step 1- be open
That’s all! Simply be open to trying something new.
Soul homework step 2- dump your thoughts
One of my friends told me about a therapist who talked about keeping a notebook in which she could “dump” (not write) all of her thoughts each day. She called it her “withholding journal,” because much of what we withhold can materialize as pain.
Since learning about it, I’ve been keeping a spiral notebook in which I write thoughts that I need to “dump.” Some days I have two pages of notes, while others I have none. Some days, I write first thing in the morning. On other days, I write throughout the day.
Soul homework step 3- find “the” book
Your book can be any book you choose!
Choosing an area of your life where you want to make a change is a fantastic place to start.
Here are a list of my favorite soul homework books.
I’ve also put together a music playlist for this special time. This has evolved over time, but it has helped me look forward to this practice every day, so I thought I’d share it with you to get you started.
You may find them here:
Morning Soul Homework playlist on Spotify
Morning Soul Homework playlist on Apple Music
Soul homework step 4-find a space
I would propose making room in your house for soul homework. If you make a space for yourself to accomplish this, it will become a habit.
A coffee table, a nightstand, a bookshelf, a place on your patio (if you live somewhere warm year-round) are all options. I’m ballsy and utilize my coffee table in the living room. These are just a few suggestions for places where you may practice your morning meditations.
Soul homework step 5- find the time
Every day, I set aside an hour to focus on my soul homework. It’s the first thing I do in the morning, before checking my phone or email. It is the one part of my day that I look forward to most. It’s like yoga for my soul.
Whether you do the soul homework is not my business. But I hope you can take a little time for yourself each day.
I know you see this mantra in your feeds, but I am going to say it here too; you are important. We’ve all been through a tough year. We all deserve to show ourselves love each day in whatever form that looks like that is appropriate for you.
A Grace Full Life 
I love your term “soul homework” and that you’ve taken over your living room whilst doing it. This is the soothing balm I need after this last rough year. I’ll be finding the time today to start my own soul homework practice, thank you very much. A great idea, me thinks.
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Aww, thank you friend. Your blog inspires me weekly, so hearing this from you is an honor. 😘
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Excellent post, Kari! Love the reminder to do soul homework, and to use the library. It IS nice to make time for yourself. Something more women need to give themselves permission to do, so they don’t feel the need to snark at others with a “must be nice!” As females, we are trained practically from birth to put others’ needs ahead of our own. I know I was. By the time in the day I felt I could take time for me, there was no energy left to do so. I wasn’t doing myself or my loved ones any favours by perpetually running on empty…but it took many years to realize this and a few more years to really put it into practice. I like the idea of the withholding journal – it reminds me of Morning Pages (from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way). Thank you!
Deb
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YES! To all of this.
I will look up the Morning Pages! Thank you for the suggestion!
That’s another thing I want to point out, I have found so many amazing books and therapists from bloggers, friends, Twitter and Instagram.
I found you thanks to Ally sharing your post on Twitter! I am so thankful for that. ❤️
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I think you’ve got soul, sister. So glad that you have found the time and made the time for yourself. So key. I’m often tied to my ‘list’ of stuff to get done, but ‘me time’ is not on the list. I do make time though for prayer, which gives me guidance. I also find it very healing.
I do love my library, but I would love it more if they were forgiving fines at the moment. Not happening.
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Prayer is meditation! So that is totally me time. 🙂
I am about to call your library up and tell them a thing or two! LMAO. I think we talked about this before last year. I mean, who is returning books on time during a pandemic? 😉
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It is so so so important for us to carve out time for ourselves each day– for any age and gender but it seems especially important for moms to do that as we are so bad at saying no to anything but ourselves.
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Yes to all of this! ❤️
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Ah, someone mentioned Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. Definitely a classic! I’ve had that book on my shelves for years. Others I have read and recommend: Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle; A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson; and The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. One I haven’t read yet but I have: Journal to the Self: 22 Paths to Personal Growth by Kathleen Adams.
xoxo
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See, this is why I love blogging, soul homework, reading, all of it! I added that book to my library list.
I will add all of those as well! Thank you!
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Kari you are a Treasure! Your description of finding your soul books? That is similar to how I found your blog (and some other wonderful blogs) the past year or two. Have you ever taken a trip just because? That was me – blog wandering blindly searching for something…. better, kinder, broader than the blogger I’d read for years. I randomly found you and a few others – wonderful writers who are kind enough to share their lives and thoughts and (equally delightful) to be kind & generous to the folks (like me) who pop in with comments.
I’m eternally grateful I found you.
Gonna try your soul searching book read and writing (dump that poo out!) exercise. The quote you posted the other day has been percolating inside me. Time to see what pours out.
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Your comments make me glad that I blog.
I am eternally grateful you found me and I am eternally grateful for your comments.
Poop out those thoughts! They lie to us daily. 💩
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I went through a similar time 14 years ago–it felt like everything was connected and one thing led to another and books were stepping stones on a path. I felt that my portal to some kind of power was the new book shelf at my library; it seemed to almost magically have the next thing I needed to read. I learned so much then that carries me today. I’m so glad you are finding what you need.
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I love that you had a similar journey!
I didn’t mention this in the post but I had fallen away from reading over the past five years. I had maybe read two or three books over the past five years and I had only been to my local library for the girls’ school projects or homeschooling. So this soul homework has reinstated my love for the library all over again.
Now I am upset that I didn’t mention this in the post. I will add it to the book. 🙂
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You’ve coined a beautiful phrase: Soul Homework. I like it. A lot.
I love that you purge the bad shit out in the written word. Shit purging. Shitting out the negativity. So many phrases here that work.
You’ve made such a turn-around in the short time I’ve known you, it’s inspiring to say the least.
I tried my hand at journaling years ago, but I suck at it. I’m not consistent enough. (so I blog!)
But this type of soul homework might just work for me. Again, not on a daily basis, but as needed perhaps?
But, I’m a true believer in ‘me time’, self-care is doing what we NEED to do for ourselves. I had someone criticize me years ago with some sort of “oh, you have too much time on your hands” in regards to something fun I was working on for myself. BITCH, PLEASE.
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Shit purging is SO good. Almost better than soul homework!
I am not good at journaling either! This is why this kind of shit purging is so much better. I learned that thoughts are liars which is why this is so good. Getting rid of those liars. By the way, that show you recommended? In and Of Itself? It tied in PERFECTLY with the thoughts are liars mentality.
As needed is perfect! Do it as you need it. Like I told Rita in the comments, in the five years I was in perimenopause I read maybe two or three books? So this has been an amazing journey if only to get me reading books again. If I stop tomorrow, I feel like it was enough. But I won’t stop because I love doing it so much. The day it feels like a chore, I will quit.
BITCH PLEASE, will be my response from now on. YES!
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Just a quick de-lurk to say thank you for the self-care encouragement and book recs. I’ve fallen out of my morning contemplation routine in recent months. A nourishing book may be just what I need to restart my routine. I’ve requested Ms Williamson’s book from our local library.
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I’m so glad I could give you a little nudge!
I just finished her Law of Divine Compensation book this morning. Enjoy. 😘
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Well I have a space now, and nothing but time, and since starting to read this post I know know what manifesting even is…so I suppose I am running out of excuses!
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I feel like you and Amandequin need to get on the soul homework train. ❤️
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No surprise, I am reading this post at a time when I need it the most, and am most open to digesting it. I’ve been thinking about this exact thing for a while now, and my whole mind mind, body, and spirit has been begging me to make the time to do it. I need to purge the thoughts, I need to read the books, and I need to give myself the hour. Thank you for writing this! And for being an amazing human being.
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So I just wrote a post today about mental health and I am now understanding that not only did I need this soul homework for me, I also needed it for my girls. To help them with tough conversations and with life in general. I would have crumbled with these conversations before; old me wouldn’t have been able to deal, for one reason or another. Now I can because of all I have learned about myself. Who knew that you could gain this much insight from library books? Well, that and also being on a kickass antidepressant for the first time in my life. My own mental health was screaming for it for many years. It’s like I finally feel at home in my own body for the first time in my life. 😉
PURGE THOSE THOUGHTS, Ani. I swear TG, I do this daily. If you read some of the shit I wrote in there, you would laugh at me. But it’s all good! Get that shit out of my brain.
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