Childhood, Family, Grief, Things I Want to Remember

things i want to remember – part 34

Kari

if you’re here for the first time, welcome! you’ll be able to find the other parts of this series here.

1- i remember trick-or-treating once when i was maybe eleven or twelve. i was running to catch up to my friends. no one had waited for me. my best friend’s mom saw me and said something like, i knew it was kari by the pouting. i’m 55 and i still think about that.

2- i had no idea the monkees were created for a television show! i thought they were already a band, and the show existed because they were popular.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

3- with the news that new pennies are no longer being made, i can’t help but think of my dad. if he were still here, you better believe he would have gone straight to the bank for a fresh roll — to save some for his grandchildren. it feels like a small way to remember him in the midst of this historic little moment.

4- i had to get an mri a few weeks ago, and while inside the tube they gave me earplugs so i could hear the instructions, plus soft music to destract me from ALL THE LOUD NOISES. would you believe there were ads between the songs? the soft music was supposed to help me escape! you can’t get away from capitalism, not even in a friggin mri machine.

5- i just learned that mary oliver died in 2019. i honestly thought she was still alive!

this is how i learned: “in memory”

6- i think some of madonna’s best music actually came out in the 90s, not the 80s.

7- i had a very inappropriate crush on bj frrom bj and the bear when i was young. he might’ve been my awakening, if you get my drift.

source

8- did any of you ever watch the 80s movie girls just want to have fun? if so, you probably remember this song:

it’s a fairly unknown 80s movie and song. a friend of mine from band introduced it to me. we watched it one evening at her house, way out in the country, where her mom hung out herbs to dry and the whole house always smelled amazing. i still think of her whenever i watch it or hear the song.

just another thing i want to remember…💜

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47 thoughts on “things i want to remember – part 34”

  1. #3–This was my dad with the $2 bill! In 1976 the US Mint issued special $2 bills, and he bought a bunch of brand new ones from the bank. He kept them pristine and saved them for his eventual grandchildren. My brother, a numismatist since about age 8, also has some.

    #5–Love this poem. I knew Mary Oliver had died. I was introduced to her poetry very late in my life, unfortunately, but she’ll be with us forever.

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    1. My dad saved us $2 bills as well. I love this so much.

      I was also introduced to her poetry late in life — after she died in 2019 — which is why I didn’t know at the time. I really fell in love with her work after the pandemic, and I’m so glad I did.

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  2. That’s infuriating that they had ads between the soothing music during your MRI. It seems impossible to escape ads in the US. I know that’s your point and you point out it being capitalism and I agree, but it really struck me. That would’ve undone the soothing effects for me.🤣
    I don’t think I knew that about the Monkees either. I think I thought they were already a group. I had their single Daydream Believer or it might’ve been my older brother’s but we watched their tv show and played that record all the time. Fun memories.
    Thanks Kari!

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    1. Exactly — that was my point. Even in moments that are supposed to be calming, it’s hard to escape ads here. It completely undercuts the whole experience.

      I’m glad I’m not alone in not knowing about The Monkees. I was shocked when I learned that!

      Thank you for reading and sharing that, friend. 😘💜🌈

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  3. I kind of remember Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, but I do not remember that song. Isn’t it crazy how a song can evoke so many detailed memories?

    Capitalism in general is a good thing, but the ads while getting an MRI are horrid, and I blame whoever contracted the music for the machines.

    Ray of Light might have been my favorite Madonna album. When I hear her older songs now (’80s), it doesn’t sound like her at all, and I believe that was what the record label was trying to push; too cutesy.

    I’m already sad about Pennies being finished!!

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    1. It really is wild how a song can unlock such vivid memories. One note and suddenly you’re back somewhere specific.

      The MRI ads are awful — the noise is bad enough without that layer added in.

      Ray of Light is my favorite album! Her voice and energy feel so different there compared to the earlier, more manufactured version of her.

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  4. That Mary Oliver poem is a treasure.

    Agreed on Madonna, though I’d include 1989’s Like a Prayer as my Madonna fandom spark — and not for the singles. Oh Father and Spanish Eyes were so powerfully good!

    BJ & the Bear had such a good intro song. This along with Smokey & The Bandit made me consider long haul trucking as a dream job. Now that I think of it, we’re overdue for more stories from the road on some televised (or streamed) program.

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    1. I love that poem as well.

      Oh Father! I forgot about that song, Chris. Listening to it now. 💜

      I remember being on vacation with my parents in Pennsylvania and seeing a semi truck that looked like BJ’s. My little self thought it was his and that he was following me. I had such an imaginative mind. My brother wanted to be a semi truck driver as a child because of shows like that. Maybe lots of kids did? I love the idea of it.

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  8. I don’t understand the whole penny thing. Once they’re gone, that just makes nickels the new pennies…and if they take those away, then dimes are the new nickels. When will the madness end?!

    I’ll see your inappropriate crush and raise you a Winnie Cooper.

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  9. I so enjoy your memories, Kari. But, #1?? Sigh. Usually, it’s the other kids who are mean, NOT the adults. What a rude thing to say.

    #2 I did know about the Monkees, probably because of Partridge Family and I’m sure there were other made-for-TV ‘bands.’

    #3 My grandson told me he’s saving pennies now. I got rid of a bunch of old ones after cleaning out my mom’s condo. Now, I’m sort of mad at myself, but you can’t keep everything!

    #4 I’m sorry that you had to get an MRI. I hope everything is ok.

    #5 I had to look up Mary Oliver!

    #6 My favorite Madonna was the Desperately Seeking Susan era. I loved that movie and think of it every time I encounter a dryer in the bathroom.

    #7 My inappropriate crush was probably Shaun Cassidy at *that* age LOL!

    #8 I never saw that movie or ever heard that song before.

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    1. It was a very rude thing to say. 🥹

      I did know about The Partridge Family, but I can’t believe I didn’t realize The Monkees were the same kind of thing.

      It’s a slippery slope not keeping everything — I feel like whenever we go through my dad’s office someday, we might find rolls of coins stashed somewhere.

      Everything is good- thank you for asking, friend. 😘

      LOL – well, she’s dead. 🤣

      I LOVE THAT SCENE IN THE MOVIE/VIDEO!!

      Oh yes- he was so good looking!

      I’m glad I could introduce you to it!

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  10. I just assumed the Monkees were given a show due to their popularity as well! Sounds like what is happening with The Runarounds; a show made for Amazon and now the band is so popular they are going out on tour.

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  12. Lol that BJ was your awakening. I think mine was probably something terrible like Beau Duke or something. I didn’t even understand what that show was about until I was in my twenties!!! Actually I remember developing a huge crush on Ralph Macchio when he was in the Karate Kid.

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    1. OMG, Nicole, I didn’t even think of BJ and awakening- I’m laughing so hard.

      I liked Bo Duke as well. That show didn’t age well at all. Karate Kid and Ralph, on the other hand….

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    1. I get that — I’m not really attached to the pennies themselves, it’s just a little memory of my dad that popped up with the news. And yes, MRIs are completely their own kind of stress!

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  14. That Halloween memory made me kind of sad. It’s amazing the little things we remember from childhood. Words are powerful.

    I remember when Mary Oliver died because she’s one of – it not my all-time – favorite poet. Fun FYI…I met her in person! She was doing some readings at Marquette in Milwaukee in 2012. I went with a friend. It was amazing to hear her read some poems in person. And then she did a book signing. I was star struck. All I remember is saying hello and thank you, and I think that’s about it.

    xoxo

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    1. Me too, Melanie. I can still picture the entire thing, but I can’t remember what I had for dinners last week. It’s amazing how powerful words can be.

      I love that you got to meet her in person! 💜

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  15. Wow I’m surprised you didn’t know the Monkees were fabricated. I was introduced to the “band” via record album in the 70’s from a friend..then they played reruns if the show on early Mtv (The Vj’s must’ve given info that they were fabricated being pre internet days)

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  16. Words always hurt, no matter how long ago they were said. I’m sorry that you remember that. There are some things I wish I could forget, but for some reason, I can’t. I like pennies! Especially the shiny ones! ..lol Hope your MRI results were what you wanted them to be. It’s always scary in “the tube”.

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    1. Yes they do, my friend. Thank you for that. It made me wonder what she might have been saying to her daughter in those quiet, private moments.

      I like pennies too!

      The results were good, thankfully, but it’s never fun going through it.

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  17. Your friend’s mom was nasty. I’ll go tell her that. I hate grownups that pick on kids.

    I also thought BJ was a cutie.

    My mom saved one and two dollar bills when Canada switched to coins. I found them in her jewellery box.

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  18. ” i think some of madonna’s best music actually came out in the 90s, not the 80s.”

    I am in TOTAL agreement with you. Two of my favorites are Frozen, Vogue, and Nothing Really Matters.

    And speaking of pennies, I have a HUGE bowl filled with not only pennies, but other coins as well.

    “he might’ve been my awakening, if you get my drift.”

    LOL! And I can totally see why!

    So enjoyed the video clip. They kinda remind me of the Pet Shop Boys and Bronski Beat.

    Hope you’re enjoying fabulous holiday season. I can’t believe next week is CHRISTMAS!

    XO

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    1. I love those songs too! Frozen is one of my all-time favorite Madonna songs.

      I love a bowl of coins!

      He was so cute. 💜

      I can totally see that.

      It’s been a good month so far! I hope you’re enjoying yours as well, my friend. I can’t believe it either! Sending you love. 😘💜

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  19. “Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow…”. This was such a great song back in the day….

    MRI machines… I clamp my eyes shut and practice breathing…. The first few times, they didn’t give me ear plugs. What the hell!

    Shame on your best friend’s mom. We carry some childhood memories with us into adulthood. I’ve got a few as well. Whenever that one creeps up, just start singing “slow, slow, quick, quick, slow”. That’s a better memory of your friend in the countryside.

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    1. YESS! Such a great song.

      I’m not usually claustrophobic, but once I’m in there it’s like -maybe I am claustrophobic? So I practiced breathing too. 🤣

      I love this comment- you’re right. I didn’t even realize that I bookended this post with opposite memories!

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  20. I had an MRI in the fall and I remember almost falling asleep despite the loud sounds. I think I had earplugs in too, but the instructions just came amped into the machine. The earplugs were to tune out the loud sounds. I believe they were playing music, but I don’t think there were ads – that’s BS if you ask me.

    Ouch that ‘pouting’ memory. I believe that you still remember that. I still remember when I was about 7 or 8 and my girl cousin ( similar age to my two sisters) whispered to them, “I don’t really like Erin, let’s go play somewhere without her.” It was loud enough for me to hear and neither of my sisters told her that that wasn’t nice, they side-eyed me and went off with her. Damn that hurt. Funny how those things stay with us.

    Hard to believe there won’t be any more pennies. I love that you took over the ‘I’ll get a roll of pennies’ action to represent your dad. Makes total sense.

    I do not remember that song or that movie. I do not remember BJ and the Bear – or I do, but only in name. Don’t think I ever saw the movie. I think my first crush was Ricky Schroeder.

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    1. You’re the first person to tell me you almost fell asleep in the MRI machine! It was not peaceful, that’s for sure.

      Oh gosh, that’s so hurtful. And I totally understand why you still remember that. 💜

      OMG, that’s so funny your crush was Ricky Schroeder. I mentioned him in my comment to Rita- I’m laughing so hard.

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  21. Well, your best friend’s mom was from the generation where girls were supposed to hide all their feelings, especially if they might make someone else feel uncomfortable. Her comment says so much more about her than you, and it has me feeling a little sorry for your friend. From all that you’ve written about your mom, it seems that yours was kind and accepting of you. 

    I’ve been wracking my brain trying to remember a first celebrity crush, and no one really stands out. Maybe Scott Baio on Happy Days, but I hate to admit that because he’s turned into such a gross old man. When I was 4 my older cousins were all about Donny Osmond, so I said I liked Andy Williams, cementing my reputation for being an odd little duck. I still remember them laughing at me (but in a fond way). Your BJ was pretty cute; I endorse little Kari’s choice. 😀

    Ads in the MRI machine are just…ick. And so America in the 2020s. Not for girls who wanna have fun, that’s for sure.

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    1. You are so right about this, friend. I absolutely love this compassionate take.

      So many crushes have turned out to be gross men- Ricky Schroeder is another. Blech. I love Andy Williams! I was 27 years old, listening to an Andy Williams Christmas tape in my car to and from work. Omg, it feels so good to tell you this.

      Not for girls who wanna have fun made me laugh. Oh, I’ve missed you. It’s so good to see you here again.

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      1. You know who Andy Williams is! I was afraid you wouldn’t. We’re only 5 years apart, but in childhood years that can be a whole era. I can’t tell you how much I love that you love him.

        Sorry I’ve been a little awol. I still lurked, though.

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      2. Yes! I love his music so much! I love that we both love him. 💜

        You never have to apologize for being awol. I’m just so glad you’re here.

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      1. Me too. I might have told you that I hosted an online poetry circle for a Colorado non-profit during Covid. Mary’s poems were often read out. It was such a trip, sitting there on Zoom with folks from Canada and the US, hanging out reading poems.

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