Life, Photography, What I Kept

what i kept – december 2024

Kari

i began writing this monthly post unintentionally in may 2022, motivated by an unexpected and deeply personal loss. your engagement with these posts means so much to me. i wasn’t sure i would continue after that summer, but now, it has become a cherished part of my monthly routine.

thank you for reading along each month.

my mom had her back surgery at the beginning of this month. it was postponed because—wait for it—insurance denied it at first. this happened the same day united healthcare’s ceo was killed. they approved her surgery a few days later.

i know she was nervous about the surgery, but after enduring so much pain for so long, it was something she couldn’t keep putting off. healing from major surgery while navigating the deep grief of losing her husband is an immense challenge, yet she is meeting it with such strength and grace. ❤️

this just makes it all the more fun…
thank you jill for sending this to me
french bread pizza and true crime at mom’s house ❤️
thank you for never making me feel like i’ve needed to mask
source
source
i made this in sixth-grade art class. thank you, bijoux, for the inspiration to share it here.
waking to sunshine (and cool shadows) on the first day of winter solstice
ella and i have spent most of christmas break binge-watching real housewives of new jersey, and let me tell you, it has been downright healing.
my mom and mike are big dateline fans, and she especially loves keith morrison. mike made her this sweatshirt for christmas.

someone recently shared the most beautiful description of being with her father in hospice during his final days:

courtesy parker mcmullen bushman

her words resonated deeply with me, as they perfectly capture what my mom, brother, husband, and i experienced during the sacred week my dad came home to die.

i wanted to share her words here because they express something so profound—something i don’t think I could articulate better myself.

it feels like an experience that longs to be described and honored as we leave the year my dad died.

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44 thoughts on “what i kept – december 2024”

  1. Kari, don’t you just love Spotify? I only joined about six months ago, but I’m making up for lost time. I use it every single day. And several times a day.

    LOVE your Christmas tree. AND also the skeleton. LOL!

    I’ll be sending LOTS of Reiki to your mom for a smooth and quick healing.

    And OMG, I laughed my ass off at the lower case. HILARIOUS!!!!

    Your Christmas tree ornament is fabulous. It looks like a paper fortune teller. I used to make them when I was a kid.

    Kari, wishing you and your family joy and everything good. May magic and miracles follow you everywhere in 2025 and beyond.

    X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Spotify is my favorite too! I’m so glad you love it as well. I’m getting my mom hooked on it now too.

      I love Roger! He might just stay up all year…

      Thank you for your Reiki, my friend. It’s always deeply appreciated.

      I KNOW. Maybe I should go back to capitalization this year?

      YES! I remember those!!

      Thank you! From your mouth to the Universe! I wish you all of those things and more, my friend. 😘❤️

      Like

  3. HA. I saw that meme about capital letters on Twitter and it made me think of you! Hilarious example.

    Your tree decorating helper looks festive.

    Glad your mom got her back surgery. My dad is recovering from back surgery right now so I feel like I have a tiny insight into what she might be dealing with and I hope her recovery is swift and smooth.

    That Tolle quote about surrender is resonating with me today.

    “The work of love.” Oh yes. How beautifully, heartbreakingly stated.

    “Still flowers bloom in it.” xxoo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that you thought of me! That’s so funny. Maybe I’ll start capitalizing again in 2025…

      He IS festive!

      Aww, give your dad a hug from me. I hope he’s recovering well.

      It resonates with me a lot. I’m glad it resonated with you as well.

      Right?? I loved how she worded all of it.

      Yes. 🖤

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  4. And I thought Oxford commas were important. Your Uncle Jack just reminded me why capital letters may be even more so!

    I haven’t had a French bread pizza in years. They were one of my favorite quickie meals in my 20s and 30s; they’ve just kind of fallen off my radar, I guess. I blame Woodman’s and their huge selection of regular frozen pizza (BTW, Tara and I both like Connie’s thin crust best).

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Tara agrees! The crust is great and I really like the sauce. To be fair, I also like Screamin’ Sicilian and a few others, but Connie’s is my go-to for sure.

        Frozen pizza has come a long way.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. So glad your mom’s surgery went well and I hope she recovers well too. That handmade ornament is fabulous! Wishing you and your family a very happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love all of this, Kari. And your mom looks fabulous! (Sorry, I have no idea who Keith Morrison is.) I’m so grateful she’s healing well. The video with your pups eating treats is hilarious…I love their little crunches. Here’s hoping 2025 brings us all more love, peace, and healing. Can’t wait to see you in person again! xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I appreciated so much of your post, Kari. I often think about the time spent holding my Dad’s hand during his final weeks of hospice. One of the last things I did for him was feed him a Wendy’s frosty. He always loved those and they will now always be connected with him in my mind.

    I’m glad I inspired you to share your handmade ornament. And I really enjoyed looking at all the ornaments on your tree when I enlarged the picture. Does the cowboy boot have special meaning?

    I hope your Mom is recovering quickly from surgery. The Dateline sweatshirt is brilliant! I haven’t watched RHONJ in years because I disliked the women so much. But I highly recommend bingeing the Salt Lake City franchise!

    The ghost bell in the middle of the cookies made me laugh! Happy New Year! XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, I love a Wendy’s Frosty! I’ll think of your dad now when I see them. My dad couldn’t really eat much in hospice, which was so hard—he hadn’t eaten much before that. Long story…but we could use a small sponge to hydrate his mouth and add his favorite drinks—root beer, a Starbucks drink, etc.—so he could at least taste them. I’ll never forget that. 🩷

      Mike’s mom made that for him in the ’90s! He used to love country music back then and would go to line-dancing bars and such. 🤣

      She’s doing really well—almost too well at times and overdid it a bit. She’s had to slow down to avoid hurting herself. But I get it—when we finally feel good after a long time, we want to do ALL THE THINGS.

      I’m into the old NJ right now—seasons one and two, etc. I love SLC too!

      That’s Ella’s creation! She always cracks me up. 🤣

      Happy New Year! 😘

      Like

  10. THOSE COOKIES THO

    Kari, I had no idea your mom was going in for surgery. May her healing be smooth and complete. Also, wtf insurance. I just…I just cannot with the US system. It is SO weird. The Canadian system obviously is not perfect, far from it, but this whole insurance thing in the US is ridiculous. Health care should not be a basic human right. GAH.

    Anyway, as always I love these posts (sixth grade you! Adorable!) and of course I love the poetry. Mary Oliver! So perfect.

    Happy New Year. xoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right?? My mom made them! Those take so much work, and I appreciate them more than I can say.

      OMG, don’t even get me started on how ridiculous it all is. Thankfully, it’s all taken care of now.

      I always think of you when I see a Mary Oliver poem.

      Happy New Year, my friend! ❤️

      Like

  11. I hope your mom is doing well after her surgery. Back surgery has been wonderful & life changing in a good way for several people I know. I hope it is same for your mom.

    I love Winter Solstice. My lovely MIL & I bond over it every year. Your photo capturing the moment was gorgeous.

    I’m glad this blog is a safe place to unmask & share your grief.

    I’m impressed people know what to say in the face of grief. I hardly know what to tell myself.

    Having feelings is so verboten. Encountering someone who is not terrified of feelings & has a supportive response…. unicorn moment.

    Omg joy…. Husband & I just discussed this! I look for the joy in every moment now. Tiny joy is *right there* every day! Warm comfy socks. The beauty of winter trees. That moment in a song that totally delights you.

    Thank you for all you share on this blog. Grateful for you Kari. ❤️  Hoping 2025 is full of joy.

    PS.
    The ghost cookie looks like a white Borzoi dog to me & I cannot unsee it 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is her third spinal surgery—she’s a pro by now! Ha. It went really well. She has a wonderful neurosurgeon she trusts, and she’ll be starting physical therapy soon, which should bring her even more relief.

      I love the winter solstice too! I only started loving winter after the lockdown in 2020. It feels like a season of rest, and now it’s my favorite time of year.

      This space feels so safe, and that’s entirely because of you and everyone else here who helps make it that way.

      I didn’t used to know what to say about grief, but I’ve learned so much over the past couple of years—through my friend losing both her parents within five years, going through complicated grief myself, reading countless books on grief, and then losing my dad. It’s been a literal education.

      YES to embracing feelings and having someone respond supportively!

      JOY. That’s so funny because just yesterday, I found a quote on joy and a song with “joy” in the title. It made me think of our bird, Joy. All of it brought me so much happiness in that moment.

      Thank you for all the supportive and loving comments this year, Maddie. I’m so grateful for you. Here’s to joy for both of us—and all of us—in 2025!

      That cookie was made by Ella! And now I can’t unsee the dog either. ❤️🤣

      Like

  12. My favorite picture? The Christmas ornament with your picture in it! So sweet!..and you look exactly the same! Cheers to 2025, my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Thanks for the connection this year, Kari. Best wishes to you and yours for goodness in 2025.

    Those cookies look almost identical to the tin of cookies our neighbour dropped off for Christmas (she’s in Winnipeg studying but comes from Chicago). When I raved about the amazing, thick layer of icing she said, “they’re American style… extra calories!” 😂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. The Gilmore Girls book excerpt is interesting. I had no idea that show had that sort of impact on so many people. It does make sense. The grief readings are really insightful. I am fortunate to not have lost a parent, but dang – I do think I empathize with people who do. It seems to come in waves. On a lighter note, that sweatshirt is perfection. Just brilliant. I hope your mom’s surgery went well and that she gets the desired results. Hopefully she’ll be pain free and will experience a quick recovery. The dogs sharing your treats and barking at Will Ferrell’s elf. Good stuff. The capitalizing meme is hilarious.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I hope your mom’s surgery provides all the long-term relief she could ask for! That’s SO MUCH TIME for you in hospitals this year, though. Here’s to fewer hospital waiting rooms in 2025.

    Have you eve read Dog Songs by Mary Oliver? It’s an entire collection of poems about dogs (that’s where I think the above poem comes from) and is SIMPLY DELIGHTFUL.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, and yes, I’ve been inside hospitals way too much in 2024. Let’s manifest less hospital time in 2025!

      NO! I’m adding that to my TBR. Thank you for the recommendation!

      Like

  16. I could listen to Keith Morrison read the most boring of books to me, his voice is perfection. I love that shirt for your mom, but I believe She Does Light Up A Room. I hope she is on her way to full health and mobility.

    Happy New Year my friend. XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Me too—I truly believe she lights up every room she enters. My dad felt the same way. 🩷

      It’s wonderful to see her continuing to improve every day.

      Wishing you a very Happy New Year, my friend! 😘❤️

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  17. Kari, as always, the things you kept were inspiring and moving. ❤️ And how delightful to see Roger again! I saw in a comment that this was your mom’s 3rd spinal surgery. My dad has had 2. The first one left him with numbness in one leg and he was miserable. Thankfully, the 2nd one went much better. I hope your mom will be feeling better soon! I wish you all the best in this new year!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad his second surgery went better. I know how nerve-wracking that must have been—my mom was really worried about paralysis when she had her surgery. She had numbness in her legs beforehand and still does now, but they said it might take up to 18 months to improve.

      Wishing you all the best in the new year too, my friend!

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  19. I loved this post. The photos. The sayings. The feelings. The music. Animal members of family. All of it.

    A few thoughts… I love your Christmas decor- especially above the fireplace and the metal house on the living room table at your mom’s house.

    You mom is healing well- that’s wonderful, and her smile is beautiful. But, who is Keith Morrison? But #2 your mom is the light :))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

      Thank you! My mom’s house feels like Santa’s Village at Christmas—it’s magical. ❤️

      He’s a host on Dateline, a show my mom and husband love to watch. Not sure if you know who Matthew Perry is from Friends, but he was actually his stepfather!

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  20. Wow, what an eventful year for you, some bad but some good. It’s not how we start but how we finish. This is the long game and we’re in it together. I’m so glad mom is improving. This will be a year of strength, grace, and love! 🌟

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