Recently, my mom asked me how many plants I had and where they all came from. As we were talking, I admitted something I’d been noticing: I’ve been putting off watering them each week.
I’ll think, I’ll do it tomorrow. Then tomorrow turns into the next day… and then the next. It’s not that I don’t water them. I do. I just keep pushing it off until I can’t ignore it anymore.
There was a time when watering my plants was one of my favorite rituals. I’d put on music, move from room to room, check for new leaves, trim away the old ones, and give each plant the attention it needed. It never felt like a chore.
The summer after my dad died, we ended up with a terrible fungus gnat infestation in my plants. Getting rid of them became a project that seemed to drag on forever. I had to transplant a lot of plants, and in the process, I ended up getting rid of several.
A year after that debacle, my friend Suzanne shared her low-effort houseplant watering method, and I thought, low-effort? That is exactly what I need! I began using watering bulbs for my larger plants, the ones that started the gnat problem, and I haven’t had a gnat since.
Why haven’t I put watering bulbs in all of my plants so I don’t have to water anything whatsoever? Well, I still have to maintain the bulbs and spray the leaves of all my plants. Plus, a lot of my plants are too small to have a bulb inserted, so I never bothered doing all of them.
As I’m writing this, I’m noticing that the summer of the gnats was when watering my plants quietly changed from something I loved into something I simply had to do.
Friggin’ insects.
This one came from my friend and massage therapist, Julie. She gave it to me after my dad died, and I’ve treasured it ever since.
This peace lily…there is nothing peaceful about this dude. He is fussy, as most peace lilies tend to be. If I miss watering day by even a day, he lets me know immediately.
I bought him for Anna’s room when she was a teenager, and I adopted him back when Anna moved away to college.
He’s probably overdue for transplanting. Don’t tell him I said this.
I am always in a state of change with my plants.
Eventually, many of them will need a new pot, more space, or a different kind of care. Sometimes that feels like a burden.
I want them to flourish. I want them to thrive. But I also realize that caring for something living is a responsibility. It takes time, patience, and work.
I’ve shared my fiddle leaf figs here over the years. One of them was named Fern (although I don’t actually know which one is Fern anymore…you’ll see why in a minute).
Fern almost died in 2020 after she was accidentally sprayed with mosquito spray while getting sun on the patio. She hung on, slowly recovered, and somehow found a way to keep growing.
Here is the other one we bought in 2021 at IKEA:
And here they both are now:
This monstera was a birthday gift from my brother and sister-in-law in 2020.
Here is how she started:
These pilea in the clay pot on the left are actually three separate plants that I combined into one big pot. A couple came from friends who had plants that were struggling, so I decided to take them in and see if I could bring them back.
Apparently, they just needed a little community. 💜
Maybe that’s what my plants have been teaching me all along:
Nothing stays exactly the same.
The way we care for something changes.
There are seasons when we struggle, seasons when we need more help, and seasons when we grow in ways we never expected.
Do you have a plant that has a special place in your home? I’d love to hear its story.
And if you’re not a plant person, what is something in your home that brings you unexpected joy?
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A Grace Full Life 
Lovely, as always!
When we lived in the Airstream, I had given away all my plants, then regretted it. I made an Airstreaming friend who has plants, but she travels less frequently than we did, so they’re much less of a pain.
Finally, I bought a pot of succulents that moved between the kitchen table and the shower for travel. They got frozen (by accident) at Gila Cliff Dwellings, the wind grabbed them and unpotted them as a group and blew them across the desert elsewhere in New Mexico. They got over-watered in Colorado, and here in Wisconsin hail made a bird feeder fall on them. Those poor plants. Finally i moved the unhealthy ones into their own pots and am trying to germinate babies from their leaves.
I used to have giant shefleras (?), ficus, and a Norfolk Island Pine that outgrew my coworker’s house. The woman who bought that house I lived in, in Atlanta, with giant skylit vaulted ceilings, insisted the trees convey, so I lost those. Just as well, considering where I ended up.
Now I’m picking up small plants, one here and one there, cheap or free. Pots, as well. I miss caring for living things so I love them even though they are tiny.
Carry on with your evolving plant family and relationships!
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Oh my goodness, those poor succulents have truly been through an adventure! I think they deserve a medal for surviving freezing temperatures, desert winds, overwatering, and hail. I love that you kept trying with them and even moved the struggling ones into their own pots to start again.
I also really connected with what you said about missing caring for living things. I think there is something so grounding about having something alive in our homes that we get to nurture, even if it’s just one tiny plant at a time.
And I love the image of your evolving plant family. After everything those plants have been through, I think they have found exactly the right person to care for them. 💜
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This is beautiful. We lost all our (beloved) houseplants in 2022 to mold. As a nod to new beginnings, I picked up a audrey ficus at Costco. The once tiny little thing now has two gangly 5-foot long arms in a victory pose. I also have several “rescue plants” my black-thumbed MIL was gifted and pawned off to me. Like you, I used to take joy in tending them, but lately I put it off as well. I really love your takeaways. I feel like it’s so relevant in this season of my own life. Thank you so much for sharing, dear friend. 💜
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Oh, I love this so much. I’m so sorry you lost all of your beloved plants to mold. I can imagine how hard that must have been, especially when they were part of your home and your daily life.
I love that you chose an Audrey ficus as a symbol of new beginnings. And now I’m picturing those two gangly arms reaching up in a victory pose! What a perfect reminder that things can grow again after a difficult season.
I also completely understand putting off plant care when our own energy is low. I think that is part of what I’ve learned from my plants too. Sometimes we need grace, and sometimes we find our way back to the things that bring us joy. Thank you for sharing this with me, dear friend. 💜
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I’ve promised myself I wouldn’t count my houseplants.
If I do, then I can’t bring anymore home. 🤣
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I am laughing because I completely understand this strategy. If we don’t know the number, then we can’t possibly have too many, right? 🤣
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Exactly!
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I can’t keep a plant alive! I am happily plant-free beccause I feel so horrible whenever I kill one. My mother loves plants and her house is filled with them, so I just go visit her if I need a plant fix. I love what your plants have taught you, Kari. I guess my (dead) plants taught me that it’s always a good idea to visit my mom!
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I am laughing because I think you found the perfect plant solution: enjoy them without the guilt! 😂
Visiting your mom’s house for a plant fix sounds like a wonderful arrangement.
And I love that your plants taught you that visiting your mom is always a good idea. Honestly, that might be the best lesson of all. ❤️
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I have a lot of plants. I gave away numerous ones a couple of years ago when I’d thought to move, but I didn’t, and I’ve rebuilt the number. I don’t always love them, in fact, if my mood tanks and I get a little ragey, one of the my first thoughts is always about giving them away or dumping them in the compost bin. Of course, the guilt after would be enormous.
I also had a fungal gnat problem. It is hella difficult to fix. I moved everything into the garage for a couple of months and soaked them regularly with Safer’s Soap.
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Oh, I love your honesty about this because I think anyone who has a lot of plants has had moments of thinking, why do I have this many things to take care of? I had a very similar experience during my fungal gnat battle, especially because it happened at a time when I was already feeling low energy. It was a lot of work, but I kept reminding myself that these little living things were worth the effort.
Also, I completely understand moving everything into the garage. Those tiny gnats are no joke!
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Before I met Tara, I had lots of plants in my townhouse. They just happened to be the plastic variety. They were very forgiving if I forgot to water them, and they never died…but alas, once she moved in, she insisted on real ones.
I do have a planted aquarium now, which I’m quite proud of…and I don’t have to water those either!
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I am laughing at the plastic plant era. 😂
I love that Tara converted you to real plants. And I’m giving your planted aquarium full plant-person status. It’s still creating and caring for a little ecosystem, which is pretty cool. Also… no watering? That might be the perfect plant compromise.
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Funny, when we were watching those old home movies last weekend, my fake plastic plants were the first thing I noticed!
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Aww, I love this.
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Your plants all look so healthy and beautiful! I can’t keep pilea nor snake plants alive at all – go figure. Right now I have about 35-40 plants in my house. Some are doing great; others are struggling.
That little “bud” in your snake plant…could that possibly be a weed from the potting soil? It looks like some of the little weeds that pop up in my outdoor flower containers.
xoxo
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Thank you! And I have to laugh because I think plants are funny that way. Some of the ones everyone says are easy give us the hardest time. 😂
Also, having been in your home, I can honestly say your plants are such a beautiful part of the feeling of your space. Your home has such a warm, welcoming energy, and I’m sure your plants play a big role in that.
And you might be right about that little bud on the snake plant. I honestly hadn’t even considered that it could be a weed from the soil!
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I am not really a plant person… but that said I now, weirdly, have a HUGE collection of them. One is a peace lily my dad gave to me from my grandmother’s funeral. It’s lasted all these years and it’s gigantic. It flowers often and I kind of love that it lets me know when it needs watering as that prompts me to water all the others too. I had a spider plant my mother in law gave that was her mother’s plant with the assurance that I couldn’t kill it. I nearly did at least a few times but it has not only thrived I now have lots of baby spider plants everywhere. I have another plant my mom gave me 6 years ago when I had my hysterectomy and that’s still going strong too. It kind of surprises me because I used to be just awful at keeping plants alive.
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I love this so much because I think your plants have proven that you really are a plant person, even if you didn’t realize it! What struck me most is how many of your plants are connected to people you love and important moments in your life. They aren’t just plants anymore; they are living reminders of your family and your history. 💜
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Oh Kari, what a FABULOUS post! I love seeing all your beautiful plants and learning about their origins. Your watering delays are very familiar to me. Sometimes I feel very “what’s the point” with watering my poor plants, because they seem to be in such poor shape. And I either over- or under-water them. Most of them have persisted in surviving, though, which is lucky. Maybe they are teaching me that effort is worthwhile, even when you don’t get the exact result you were hoping for?
I have had a little container garden since 2011. It originally had a violet in it, but that died long ago. The palm tree and pothos (I think) are still hanging in there, though! My mom bought it for us as a housewarming gift when we bought our first house, so it always makes me think of her.
There’s also an orchid I got back in 2017 as a thank-you for a volunteer project I did. It occasionally flowers, although I haven’t been able to coax a bloom in awhile.
The rest of my plants are ones I have bought for myself because I cannot resist.
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Suzanne, I love that you saw yourself in this post because you were actually part of the reason some of these plants survived! Those watering bulbs have truly been a game changer.
I think you are onto something with your thought about effort being worthwhile even when we don’t get the exact result we hoped for. Plants are pretty good teachers of patience and persistence, aren’t they?
I also love that your container garden came from your mom. Those are the plants that become so much more than plants because of the memories attached to them. And I laughed because I completely understand buying plants simply because you cannot resist. I have the same problem!😘
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A great meditation on plants. I remember that after my twins were born, all my houseplants slowly died, one by one, because I just could not care for one more living thing. It was years before I allowed myself to have plants again, and getting one felt a little bit like reclaiming some part of myself that went underground when I became a mom. I love seeing all of your plants, and that you know the names of them! I do not know the names of several of mine, and it seems like I should.
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Oh, I love this so much. I can completely understand how those plants represented something bigger than just having greenery in your home. There are seasons when we pour everything we have into caring for others, and it can take time to find our way back to the parts of ourselves that were waiting for us. I also love that you said your plants helped you reclaim something that went underground. What a beautiful way to describe it.
Side note – I use an app called Leafsnap to help me identify plants and keep track of their names. The free version. 😊
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I love your plants! I especially love Fern. My grandma’s name was Fern, so that makes me smile. She always had a fern!
I am very very very attached to my plants. I refer to them as The Girls, or, if I’m talking to my sons, Your Sisters. They all have names and I talk to them a lot. Plants are so fun to watch grow, although I have been known to be devastated when one dies.
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I love that your grandma was Fern and that she always had a fern! That makes me love my Fern even more. 💚
And I have to say, I am so happy that I’m not the only one who names plants and talks to them. I think they become little members of our families, don’t they? I’m with you though… when one dies, it genuinely makes me sad!
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I love this post and you’ve inspired me to be a bit more caring towards my own plants. I need to make friends with my plants and maybe they will then flourish more?
I have a mixture of green plants and orchids. My oldest orchid was a “ welcome to your new home” present from my step mum in 2005! She has since passed on.
Your final analysis “ There are seasons when we struggle, seasons when we need more help, and seasons when we grow in ways we never expected” is fantastic.
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I love that your oldest orchid came from your stepmom and has lived with you through all these years. What a beautiful reminder of her and of that season of your life. I also love the idea of making friends with our plants. Maybe they do flourish when we slow down and pay attention to them.
Thank you for sharing this with me. 😘
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Oh you have some fine friends indeed there! A gorgeous array, really. I’ve been keeping some snake plants from our studio alive for many years and they keep getting taller and taller, with one transplant already and in need of another. I fear the size of pot is going to be prohibitive. There are other specimens scattered about. Most of them do well. (But not all.)
My biggest joy has been maintaining a fern I’d winter for mom. It was too big for her house during cold seasons, so I took it in and would return to her porch come summer.
After her passing there was a struggle to keep it alive. It almost didn’t make it until I did an emergency transplant and got advice from greener thumbs.
She’s nowhere near her largest splendor, but she’s thriving on the porch. Probably one of the few things enjoying the humidity of late!
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Oh, I love this so much. Your fern is so much more than a plant. I love that it had a season of being cared for by your mom, then by you, and that you fought to bring it back when it struggled after she passed. There is something really beautiful about keeping a living thing connected to someone we love.
I love hearing about all the little plant stories people carry with them. They really do become part of our families, don’t they? 💜
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Kari, I’ve been dealing with gnats for a year now! About to lose my marbles! I used to use the watering bulbs, and for some reason got out of the habit. I’ll have to dust them off and try again.
Have you seen the videos on Insta about people chopping their Fiddle Leaf Figs? I love a good comeback!
I accidentally left one of mine outside a few years ago and it got burnt up in the sun. It was only one stalk, I chopped it down to nothing and divided it into three, that baby has come back and flourished—it makes me so happy to see all the new growth.
I’m a little obsessed with my houseplants, and I might need a ‘meeting’, but then again, maybe my plants are just my community. 😃
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Oh noooo! I’m so sorry. I know exactly how frustrating they are. Definitely start using the bulbs again. I think I used to believe dry soil meant I was killing my plants for some reason, but there’s a difference between dry soil that’s good and dry soil that’s bad. I’ve had to learn that distinction over the last two years. 🤣
YES! I love a good Fiddle Leaf haircut!
I love a good comeback story!
They are! I love my plants too. They’re so good for us. 🌴🪴🌱
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That little pop-up seedling looks like a sunflower sprout. Was that plant ever outdoors where a jay or squirrel could have buried a sunflower seed in there?
I used to have a lot of houseplants until TravisCat started using them as a litterbox substitute during a particularly virulent UTI. It was awful and sad. That was many years ago, but I decided that I was done with plants even when Travis died.
I currently have ONE houseplant–a kalanchoe given to me by Theo on my birthday. It flowered wildly, and I’ve recently repotted it. Oh, I forgot about my Chinese money plant, but it lives outdoors until the days get too cool for it. I generally turn my outdoor pots into indoor pots each fall, hoping that I can nurture each geranium, bidens aristosa, or whatever so that I can put it back outside come summertime.
This year, I planted a bunch of butternut squash seeds into my big outdoor pots, and they have produced not only lush, gorgeous vines, but I currently have FIVE baby squash! And the blossoms are gorgeous.
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I wondered about a sunflower too! It hasn’t been outside, but one of my friends suggested it might have come from the potting soil, which honestly seems like the most likely explanation. It’s one of life’s little mysteries. 😂
Oh, poor TravisCat. That would definitely change how you feel about houseplants. I don’t blame you one bit.
And five baby butternut squash! That’s so exciting. I don’t think I’ve ever seen butternut squash growing in pots. You’ll have to let me know how they turn out. I love that you’re giving your outdoor plants a second life indoors each year too. 💜
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Wow, look at all of those plants. They are lovely. I grew up in a house with loads of houseplants, but it never really took with me. My grandma was big into African Violets, so we had one on the table when the kids were little. It didn’t do great there. Mini eventually shared with me that the kids used to put bites of their dinner that they didn’t want to eat in the soil. Aha.
One thing in my house that brings me unexpected joy is when the house is clean, or the laundry is all done (so rare). It shouldn’t be that surprising and since it does bring me joy, one would think I would try to maintain the level of order that makes my heart happy. It is, however, a losing battle. ;)
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I laughed out loud at the dinner in the African violet. 😂 That certainly explains a lot. Kids are endlessly resourceful when it comes to avoiding vegetables.
And I completely relate to the clean house and caught-up laundry. It’s amazing how much peace it brings… and how quickly it disappears. It really does feel like a battle you can only win for about five minutes. 💜
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A little behind in my reading and response, but…I kind of don’t have anything to say about this post because I have no plants in my house..lol. I like cut flowers once in awhile. I don’t like dirt in my house and I don’t want to take care of anything extra except my cat. Yup, I’w weird..lol!
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Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without plants. DO NOT TELL MY PLANTS I SAID THAT. I feel guilty even writing it.
You’re not weird at all. Mike and I were just talking last weekend about whether we’d want another dog after ours are gone, which I can’t even think about. I surprised myself by saying no. They’re a lot of work, and I want to be able to drop everything and be there for my kids if they need me. I’d definitely be open to having a cat someday, though.
We even talked about downsizing because having a house is so much work. So no, I don’t think you’re weird at all. I think you just know what you want to spend your energy taking care of. 😘
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My Dad had a green thumb. I did not inherit it. People would wonder how I, at 5 years old, knew the names of so many flowers, trees, shrubs, etc. I always answered, “I follow my Daddy.” He had gardenias growing indoors all year round, too. Me? Too many plants to mention have died at my hands – I just don’t have the time. I have 4 pothos around the house that do very well because they just refuse to die.
However, I have a boatload of silk flowers all over the house, rotated for the seasons, and that makes me happy, and outside, some pale yellow and deep purple petunias, potted around the porches. We do what we can, right? 😁
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I love the image of you following your Daddy around at five years old learning all the names of the flowers and trees. That is such a sweet memory. ❤️ And honestly, I think silk flowers absolutely count! If they make you happy and you get to change them with the seasons, I’d say you found the perfect solution. And those petunias sound beautiful. We definitely do what we can! 😘
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I enjoyed all your plant stories, and it truly is a great idea for a post if you’re a plant person. I used to not be one because I didn’t want another thing to take care of. Then when we moved into this house and had a dedicated plant window in the kitchen, I became a plant person. My orchid is usually my fave, but he’s not looking too good these days. The only plant we have in common is the peace lily. The funeral home gave me one when my mom passed away last year. It does require a lot of water, but so far, so good. I keep it on the fireplace.
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Ohhh you have a plant window! I’m so envious.
I’m not good with orchids either. They’re not easy plants to keep! Peace lilies aren’t either, but as long as you water them, they’re pretty happy. 😘
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I am not a plant person – I either under water or (massively) over water. My mother tried in vain to teach me, but I always blamed having a full-time job for keeping me too busy to potter with my plants.
In fact, I think the key bit is that plants need us to potter, not just carrying out the tasks in a timely manner, but to have time for them – to care and nurture, each according to their individual needs. And I never got that until recently. I am having a period of yearning for plants, but it’s coincided with a period when I feel so rushed off my feet, I even had to set my alarm clock a half hour earlier (5.30am) in order to have time to drink a cup of tea quietly, so I think giving in to that yearning will need to wait a little while longer till things settle back down.
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I love the way you put this — that plants need us to potter, not just tend to them. I think there’s something really lovely about that idea of giving them time and attention rather than just checking off the things they need. And I completely understand the yearning for plants when life feels especially rushed. Maybe your plants are waiting patiently for you until you have a little more room in your days. And honestly, protecting that 5:30 a.m. quiet cup of tea sounds pretty important too. ❤️
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