On July 21st, I’m attending my 30-year high school reunion. Lots of old stuff to make me feel less old, or conversely, even older. Gonna be a grand old time.
Six years ago, I wrote a bucket list for my 25-year reunion. Six months later, I wrote a second post about how I failed that list entirely.
Through editing old posts, I’ve realized something: five-years-younger me had way more energy and enthusiasm than five-years-older me. And I like five-years-older me a lot more. Maybe that’s growth. I was kind of annoying back then. It’s okay, you can say it too — I was annoying.
So older me is throwing down the gauntlet to younger me. Here’s what I still, gloriously, did not do.
25 Things I Won’t Be Doing, Plus Five More
1-Go whitewater rafting. I don’t understand most of this original list.
2-Take an airplane ride all by myself. Was I 10 when I wrote the original?
3- Run a 5K. Heh. Heh. Heh.
4- Eat sushi. I have had sushi twice since 2012. Still hate it.
5- Following through on everything I do. Can we stop writing this list and go get tacos?
6- Drink a tequila shot. Nope.
7- Get a spa facial. Yes! Much better than sushi.
8- Get a bikini wax. The fu…
9- Become a more patient person. I have not become more patient. As of 2012 I hadn’t yet experienced a hot flash, an anxiety attack, or a migraine bad enough to make me cry.
10- Save at least 1000 dollars blah blah blah. I haven’t run a 5K, gotten a bikini wax, or saved $1,000 — was I rich in 2012?
11- Relive my love for winter skiing. I tried skiing again in 2015 and confirmed: I will never relive that love. Youth is wasted on the young. Pass the Icy Hot.
12- Go on a mom and daughter overnight trip with my tween before the mom loathing phase kicks in. I did take an overnight mom-daughter trip with my tween before the mom-loathing phase kicked in. That one I’m glad I followed through on.
13- Pay off 1/4 of my debt. Next…
14- Lose that extra 10 pounds. See #26.
15- Write something meaningful on the walls of my 120 Facebook friends. Next…
16- Try to meet a new friend in each area of my life and don’t give up after the first try. Why was I so desperate to meet people/and or please people in 2012?
17- Learn to sew. Why?
18- Eat a Chicago-style hot dog. Again, why?
19- Volunteer in a soup kitchen or food bank. I do this…but why does it matter to my attending a reunion?
20- Redo our master bath under $150. Was the reunion being held inside my bathroom?
21- Go on an overnight getaway with my husband. So we haven’t had the chance to get away alone since Ella was born, almost 11 years ago. We need this for our marriage, so we are going to try to do this soon. But I’m the same one that mentioned doing this six years ago, and yet here we still are.
22- Read the bible. Cover to cover. WHO THE HELL WAS I IN 2012?
23- Run three times a week. Rain, sleet, snow, shine. WHO THE HELL WAS I IN 2012?
24- Watch less television. That’s just silly talk.
25- Learn how to grill. WHO THE HELL WAS I IN 2012?
For 2018, some new additions I also won’t be doing:
Losing weight. Menopause is a bitch, and so is having reunions every five years during menopause — guaranteeing the people who knew me at my most vulnerable also get to watch me age not at all gracefully. Makes my blog title kind of ironic.
Taking a social media break. I should. There will be unflattering photos. But I’ll want to reconnect with people I’ve “known” for 40 years and then quietly mute them again within a week.
Getting all dolled up. I went tanning before my 10-year reunion — never even did that for prom, because I hated high school enough to specifically date outside of it. I recently found a photo of me at graduation practice wearing what amounts to summer pajamas. So why I’d suddenly care now is beyond me.
Getting my resume in order. At my 10-year, I was a department manager at Kohl’s and made it sound like I ran the company. Not doing that again. I might just tell people I train hamsters in my basement.
Lying. Kids are allowed at this reunion now, which means by 9pm my entire graduating class will know that “my mommy drinks wine when she’s stressed and yells at the TV because Ramona is being a whore on Real Housewives.”
It’s a great time to be alive.
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A Grace Full Life 
You are brave. I love that about you. I’ve never been to one of my high school reunions nor did I go with my husband to his. I’m already planning wedding speeches in my head. 🤣 although she swears she’ll never marry. The little tormenter.
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I’ve actually only gone to one- my ten year.
Yes, I wrote a bucket list for a reunion I never attended. Turns out it was during my vacation so I never got to go.
Also, if our kids don’t get married, let’s just have a party and use our speeches there.
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Well, I also love 2018 Kari more than 2012 Kari, but I love them both. When I think about the things that occupied my brain and energy in 2012, I cringe a lot. TBH (a little piece of alphabet shorthand that 2023 Rita will likely cringe at 2018 Rita using), I miss caring about those things because the things that occupy my brain and energy these days are so much harder to carry. So, I cringe but I also feel a little tender about 2012 Rita. She was trying really hard, bless her heart, and she was kinda sweet in the way 1983 Rita was sweet. Stupid, maybe, but sweet.
What I found at my 30 year reunion was a whole lot of love and a chance to recover from some of the misery otherwise known as high school. (Wrote about that here: https://www.purpleclover.com/relationships/1035-reunion/). I hope you go and have a fabulous time. I had never attended any reunions before that one, and it was just mind-blowing in so many (mostly good) ways.
Go! Have fun! Laugh! Cry! Laugh so hard you wet your pants a little and then cry about your decreased bladder control. And then come back here and tell us all about it–so I can laugh so hard I pee a little, too. :-)
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GOD YES. Hell, I miss 2015 Kari. Sigh.
I joke here but I honestly cannot wait.
My dear friend is planning it and it is full of nostalgia and visits to old schools.
I think I will be crying a lot more than I would like to admit.
And I will tell alllllll. :)
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HA! Good list and revisions. I’ve never been to a reunion and no desire. Remember Classmates.com? Back then you had to hope people you liked signed up so you could do recon on them but with Facebook, almost everyone is on there and you can check up and go “yeah, this is why I don’t do reunions.” The ones that aren’t on there remain a mystery and I like to make up stories about them and their exotic adventures…it’s probably much better than the truth. :D
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OMG, I REMEMBER CLASSMATES.COM. That was mindblowing back in 1998 and they are still around, for some unknown reason. Apparently, the creators of Classmates.com have never heard of Facebook.com.
I can’t wait to write about it afterward. I might even make is short fiction. Stay tuned.
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Kari, this is hilarious! Love your humor. I only went to my 20 year & afterwards I wondered why I bothered. I only went to the daytime event. I didn’t go to the nighttime dance event. I heard the 10 year was all about everyone bragging about what they were doing. I hated high school too, so the last thing I wanted was go to a reunion. Now I really don’t care one way or the other. At the age of 66, I’ve accepted several things about myself…one of which is I will never be Chatty Cathy, LOL. The world revolves around chatty cathies.
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Aww, thank you!
I do agree that the ten-year reunion was a brag fest which is probably why I didn’t want to attend another one for 20 years. LOL.
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I’ve never gone to any of my class reunions. Some people travel all the way back to the PI to attend a reunion. If I lived there would I have gone? Hmmmm. That’s a good question.
PS Wear something red.
Before I go, #22? Who the hell were you in 2012??
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RIGHT?????
Also, I can’t imagine traveling that far to a reunion!
I say you and I eat comfort food, we will both wear red, and I will tell you how amazing you still look in the comfort of your kitchen?
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Deal!
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That sounds like a lot more fun anyway. :)
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I’ve been absent from blogs for about 8 months so I have so much to catch up on. I started with this post, and I effing love it so much. I can’t believe that OG list was from 6 years ago. I REMEMBER that post. How has it been 6 years?? All I can say is that 2012 Hannah was also annoying too, and I hope to chill out more and more the older I get. Excuse the language, but you just run out of f*cks to give, you know?
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YOU ARE AN OG READER!! I HAVE AN OG READER!!!!
I missed you, by the way.
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Wow-who ere you indeed? Did you even eat m&m’s back then? You didn’t even know there would be all pink starburst in a bag one day. You were really going to have some hot topics to discuss with your classmates-super enchanting stuff about your white water rafting and bible verses 😂 Your elevator pitch this time is that YOU ARE A SCREENWRITER!!!!!
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Maybe I was who I was BECAUSE I didn’t eat M&M’s? Hmmmm…..something to ponder.
OMG, I JUST REALIZED I CAN TOTALLY SAY THAT THIS TIME AROUND. I’m a screenwriter………
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Something about blogging makes us want to make lists of so many things before that number of another thing happens. I was thinking about doing a 38 before 38, since I just turned 37. I was telling someone this and they, not being a blogger, were like ‘what is that?’ so I told them I wanted to make a list of 38 things I was going to accomplish before I turned 38, and they were ‘Ew, why? That’s a lot of things!’ LOL
I LOVE the idea of a list of things you’re not going to do. So damn liberating!!
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That is so funny, “eww, why?”. That’s how I feel about blogging sometimes, summed up in a statement. LOL
I actually have an idea for another post that has been sitting in the hopper forever: bucket list things I never want to do.
Coming soon to a laptop (OR DESKTOP, WINK), near you!
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I’m not sure how I haven’t found your blog before, but I’m glad I did today (at the SITS Saturday Sharefest.) I’m 61 so hope to be skinnier and more relaxed at the next reunion. I hated high school too. At my 20th reunion, I mostly just sought out former classmates from elementary school and talked about that. Then I skipped the next ones. Also, I had one spa facial ten years ago, and the girl broke a bunch of capillaries in my face! Thanks for the fun this morning!
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I am so glad you found me!!
So my reunion was last weekend and it wasn’t as bad as I thought but I knew it would be fun because my down to earth friend planned it. SO much fun seeing old teachers, friends, and schools.
OMG, I have never heard of that happening after a facial!! Did you get a refund??
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