Grief, Nonsense, Tater Tots

screw it, i’m eating tater tots – episode 73

Kari

if you’re new to my blog, welcome! here is an explanation of the tater tot post.

found things

i love discovering little surprises in library books—like this:

one of the charities my dad chose for donations after he died was st. jude’s.

then, on the page where i found this piece of paper…

i sure hope so 💜


one thing i read

i’m sharing two because i just finished two fiction books this month—which is huge for me!

beautyland by marie-helene bertino

mark mentioned this book in the comments when i asked about books that truly resonated with you. i added it to my tbr right away, though i don’t often reach for fiction, even with glowing reviews. it’s one of the best fiction books i’ve read in a long time, so thank you for the recommendation, mark.

the other book i finished was tell me everything by elizabeth strout.

i think nicole may have suggested this one? i know others have recommended elizabeth strout’s books to me—though i’ve heard this isn’t the ideal first book to begin with. i finished it yesterday, and i’m fascinated by the characters in the little town of crosby, maine. i’ve even gotten my mom hooked, so thank you, nicole (and everyone else who told us about this series).

A beginner’s guide to Elizabeth Strout — Readings Books

one thing i listened to

we didn’t know we were ready – olafur arnalds and talos

“We Didn’t Know We Were Ready”: A Song of Unfinished Conversations and Quiet Resilience

one thing i watched

wicked

links i clicked on last month

Julian Hanna: Do It Now

Komorebi—A Beautiful Japanese Word That English Needs

The Value of Doing Nothing in a Hyperproductive World

After Years of Seeking Peace, I Stop

(48) The Poetry of Everyday Life: A Collection of Moments to Love

4 questions to help you get in touch with your spiritual side

quotes that had me thinking last month

the supernatural is the natural not yet understood. – elbert hubbard

your daily life is your temple and religion. – kahlil gibran

one of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. – rita mae brown

advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. – erica jong

here’s to april…

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47 thoughts on “screw it, i’m eating tater tots – episode 73”

  1. We also support St. Jude and have that same memo pad. What a great find on that particular page. I am a huge Elizabeth Strout fan and what I love most is that her characters are often reoccurring in her books. It’s like visiting an old friend. And New England people amuse me, as they really are not like the Midwest.

    Do it now . . . this is something my husband needs to be told, though he will never listen. It frustrates me to no end.

    Komorebi is such a beautiful expression of nature. I’m fascinated by the characters used in Asian writing and how one character represents an entire word. I’ve been trying to teach myself some Mandarin, as my granddaughter is being raised bilingual, and I thought it would be both fun and helpful for me to know about the language. Holy cow is it HARD! I can listen to the word over and over again and still not know quite how to pronounce it due to the tonal nature. I’m going to keep trying though.

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    1. I love that!

      I love recurring characters—visiting old friends, yes! I also love learning about people from different areas, so getting to know them and even hearing inflections in voice through text is a lot of fun.

      Do it NOW. YES.

      I tried to learn Korean in 2018, and it was really hard. I love that you’re trying to learn Mandarin—that’s so lovely. What an amazing grandmother you are. 😘💜

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  2. I’m glad you enjoyed Beautyland! I rank it as my favorite read in 2024. I’m on a mad tear and have read a bunch of great stuff already this year, too, though nothing quite as good as that one.

    I chuckled over the Erica Jong quote. So true!

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  3. That is the cutest memo pad! “One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.” I think that is SO true! I had kept all my journals from high school and one day, I looked back at them, they were AWFUL! I realized that I prefer my fuzzy memories so much more than the reality I saw in the journals. I ended up getting rid of the journals, and I haven’t regretted it. (I don’t have kids to pass them on to – although I may not have wanted any potential kids to read them anyway!)

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    1. I know, wasn’t it? 💕

      Sometimes I tell Ella (and myself), act like you just arrived on the planet today—you have no past, in relation to not worrying about mistakes, etc. I feel like that’s similar to the having a bad memory quote. 🤣

      I’ve had that same thing happen to me! Actually, when I look at old blog posts from even five years ago, I feel the same way—WHAT WAS I THINKING?? 🤣

      That’s a great idea, getting rid of old journals, Michelle! I deleted old posts that didn’t serve me, and I don’t feel bad about it anymore. 💜

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  5. I haven’t read either of those books but I have had my eye on Elizabeth’s books for years… just haven’t gotten around to picking one up yet. But I typically love books set in Maine.

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      1. I saw the play. I liked the storyline, production, costuming, etc; but I’m redonk sensitive to the famous scream/yell and most of the singing irtitated me to no end (didn’t help that I was in the 5th row…extra loud). When the play’s commercial was airing, about 1,000 times a day (for 2 locations… so months of seeing it), I’d dive for my remote to turn off the sound!!

        I want to see Jeff Goldblum and Bowen Yang’s acting, but I’m burnt out on Ariana & Cynthia… so I don’t know when, if ever, I’ll watch it. I’ll need for my curiosity to overcome my hearing.

        All that said, definitely see the play!

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      2. Oh yeah, that would definitely bother me—the movie was really loud! (But I have a remote control 🤣)

        They were both great! I’m not a huge Ariana fan, but Cynthia was fantastic.

        Now I kind of want to see the play!

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  9. Oh, yay! Elizabeth Strout is one of my favourites and I’m so glad you enjoyed that book. Now you have to read all of them – I’m jealous, you have so much great reading to look forward to – because she weaves all her main characters from all her books into Tell Me Everything. It’s really incredible. I’d start with the Lucy Barton series, because it’s SO good, but the Olive books are great too. So is Amy and Isabelle. THEY ARE ALL AMAZING

    I love “your daily life is your temple and your religion” and also that the secret to happiness is a bad memory. Lol! That’s perfect.

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    1. I love that I have so much reading ahead of me! Lucy Barton is waiting for me at the library, so I can’t wait! And my mom and I are going to watch Olive Kitteridge on Netflix soon—thank you for the recommendation!

      I love both of those quotes—some solid life advice there. 🤣💜

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  11. I looked up komorebi because it was in the book The Bee Sting. I was very proud of myself for recognizing it and knowing it when I saw it here. (It takes little for me to impress myself…)

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  13. Kari, do you know what so sympatico about you and me? When my parents were both alive, they donated to St. Jude’s as well. They both loved Danny Thomas, who was the founder of St. Jude’s.

    I didn’t see ‘Wicked’ yet, but want to. Thanks for the reminder. I’m a big fan of Ariana Grande. I truly think she has such an amazing voice. I once heard her sing opera with Andrea Bocelli and it literally brought tears to my eyes.

    The quote you shared by Sogyal Rinpoche is so true. I used to volunteer with Hospice after my father passed in 1993. And I always felt as if the patients gave me more than I gave them. Being present with them in dying, they taught me how to LIVE.

    Have a superb week, my friend! Happy April! X

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    1. Oh, Ron, I love this connection between us! My parents loved him too!

      I think you will love it! It’s SO good, and this is only part one—another part is coming out around Thanksgiving!

      I love that you were a hospice volunteer. I want to do this someday too. I truly believe they teach you how to live. Being with my dad during his last week of life changed me for the better.

      I hope you have a wonderful week as well, my friend! Happy April! 😘💜

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  14. I love that you found that St Jude’s paper in a library book. I love finding things in books (not just library books, but used books I’ve bought). Over the years I’ve found old plane tickets and notes. I save them for my art journals.I loved the Olive Kitteridge series (and Lucy Barton) by Elizabeth Strout, but was very disappointed by Tell Me Everything. Not familiar with Beautyland. Like you, I read more non-fiction than fiction.LOVE that quote by Kahlil Gibran! Makes me wonder how truly mindful I am about my days…mostly, I’m not. I will have to write out this quote and put it on my desk or on my bulletin board. Going to check out all your links. Thank you for sharing.Love you and can’t wait to see you! (And your mom.)

    xoxo

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    1. I love that you’ve found all of those things! Your art journal idea is amazing. I was thinking it would be fun to create a little shadowbox with all the things I’ve found in the books I’ve read. Now I just realized I left the note paper in the book I found it in… I’m going to check my library bag.

      I wonder if the order you read them in matters? I might not have liked it as much if I had read the others first. I’m reading Lucy Barton next, so we’ll see!

      I’m not as mindful as I’d like to be. That quote is a great reminder. I think sometimes it’s enough that you are trying to be mindful. 💜

      I can’t wait to see you too!!

      😘

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  15. LOVE Elizabeth Strout. She is such a powerful writer. In a writing class I’ve been taking we recently spent 4 weeks studying the opening chapter to Olive Kitteridge, and there are layers in her work. I haven’t read Tell Me Everything, but now I want to. Have you watched Olive Kitteridge on Netflix? It stars Frances McDormand as Olive, and I can’t think of a better actress to portray her. And I love the article on the value of doing nothing. I did a lot of nothing through the winter, and I want to be able to hold onto that as we head into spring and summer. I needed it. I feel like I am finally, truly recovering from decades of parenting and working full time (both in and outside of home). And Rita Mae Brown! I loved her when I discovered her in college, but I haven’t read anything by her in decades. Maybe time to revisit her. As always, I love these lists you share. It’s great to discover new things and appreciate those I already know. And to get a glimpse of your inner life.

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    1. OMG, I didn’t realize Olive Kitteridge is on Netflix! My mom is reading it now—we’ll have to watch it together. And yes, she is perfect for Olive!

      The way I get myself excited for winter is by fully embracing the concept of doing nothing. That’s how I winter. 🤣 It actually started during lockdown. I remember dreading winter at the start of lockdown, afraid my seasonal depression would take me down. But then I started doing soul homework and realized how much busyness had been a trauma response—for me and honestly for most people. The winter of 2020–21 ended up being the best winter of my life so far. It felt comforting instead of overwhelming.

      I’d only heard of Rita Mae Brown through quotes—I actually have several of hers saved—so I finally looked her up. She’s such an interesting person! Now I want to read some of her books, too.

      I love sharing, but I also love learning about new things. I should probably mention that in these posts! Some of the best books, shows, and music I’ve ever discovered have come from recommendations from all of you. 😘💜

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  16. The guide to Elizabeth Strout is a good idea. She’s all over the place with her characters and plot lines. Not my favorite author but she’s on my radar.

    The Erica Jong quote – WORD.

    Did you like Wicked? I read the book eons ago and liked it.

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    1. She is all over the place! I tried reading her a few years ago, and it just didn’t click. But I’m glad I gave her another shot.

      That quote is so good, right?

      I really liked it—even though I’m not an Ariana Grande fan. But Cynthia Erivo? Loved her. I kept thinking, Glinda is kind of an asshole…

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  18. I love that your dad is dropping subtle (or not so subtle?) little notes for you!

    I’ve heard great things about Elisabeth Strout, but have not yet read her books. I will in the near future!

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  19. The Value Of Doing Nothing was a great read! We are so programmed to be busy. Why? The author is so right..it’s rooted in our culture. I’m at that stage in my life when I ask someone, “What have you been up to?” and get a laundry list of things they did, my response is, “oh wow, that’s too bad”..haha. Doing nothing equals lazy in our society and I hate it. Have a great weekend laying around and enjoying life, my friend!

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  20. That Erica Jong quote is ouchy… if filled with much wisdom.

    I simply don’t understand anyone who equates reading to doing nothing. There’s an element of judgement about that kind of thinking, as if exercising the body is inherently more valuable than exercising the brain. Imagine if I was to be sniffy and snippy about people who race around, filling their every minute with activity. And TBH, there’s plenty of substantive ways I could judge that type of behaviour, if that was my way. Instead I choose to think “not for me”, while loving that our world is filled with such a wide variety of individuals.

    I’ve read everything Elizabeth Strout has written, which I didn’t think would happen after the first one (the one which won the Pulitzer). Like the article you linked to, Lucy Barton was my route into her work, and I came to appreciate Olive Kitteridge as a character much later. I’m so glad you enjoyed the book, especially as it’s so rare that you dip into fiction – it would’ve been a great sadness if you’d not come away with something positive from the experience.

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    1. Right??

      I don’t get it either. Busy people often think being busy means they’re better than others. But constant busyness is actually a trauma response. Once I learned that, it changed everything for me. I bring it up when people judge me for not doing as much as they do, and it shuts them up immediately.

      I love that I didn’t like Olive right away, but she’s definitely growing on me. I’m in awe of writers who can do that—real character development. That’s true talent. Her book (and Beautyland too) has me reading more fiction now, and I love it.

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  21. When I had my mid-life crisis break-up with my ex, I recall my therapist asking me about all the “stuff” I’d started to fill my diary with. In my case, I’d made an active decision to throw myself into doing all the things I’d felt I shouldn’t or couldn’t do before. But it was still a trauma response, and it was important that I see and acknowledge that fact.

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