Family, Life, My Book

The Year that Joy Went Out the Window

Yesterday afternoon, our bird Joy flew out of our patio door window. It was a fluke really. My husband was cleaning up the patio, I had her out of the cage watching a video and talking to her and I walked into the kitchen to get something and she followed me.

I am her “person”.

But as she flew to follow me, she kept flying and flew out the window and away she flew.

We couldn’t find her after that.


People who don’t have pets don’t get it, so maybe this isn’t the post for you to read.

Read a funny one or an irreverent one.

By the way, Monday’s post won’t be one of those either, maybe skip that one too.

But Joy was my “person” too.

She got me through this pandemic so far, was my writing partner, my little friend, someone to keep me company during this shitty time.


We are keeping her cage on the patio per instructions from the pet experts, hoping to lure her home. Also, the yellow water is her vitamin water. Not urine or dirty water. Also, birds don’t pee. Their urea is in their poop. (Thanks to my cousin, who is a science teacher for that cool tip)


I have been crying on and off for the past 18 hours, walking to the window every time I hear a particular bird chirp.

Running to the door every time I see a lighter color bird fly by.

I open the front door, hoping she walks up? WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?

It has been such a hard year anyway but we have lost two pets this year.

Nibbles in February, Lucy in June, and now Joy in July.

We adore our pets, give them so much love and take such good care of them, it made me look up to the skies yesterday and ask the Universe and God, are we not worthy of pets anymore? Is this what this is? A test?

Because if that is what this indeed is, it is SHITTY because there are kids watching. One in particular who has a soft heart when it comes to animals.

Ella is beside herself, bless her heart. Last night she sobbed how she was so worried about how Joy would survive her first night without her family, then I sobbed and we both hugged and sobbed and sat outside with the mosquitoes and called for Joy until we couldn’t stay out any longer.

My mom and dad were over when Joy escaped, we hadn’t had them over in months because of social distancing and they were indeed still social distancing but they had to witness it all but thank God they were here to comfort. They bought Joy for Ella for a Christmas gift and my dad told my mom on the way home that they would get another bird for us if Joy never returned home, bless their hearts, they were so in love with her too.

It isn’t that we all want to replace Joy, it’s that she filled all of us with Joy in SUCH a joyless time of our lives.

When I would call my mom daily every afternoon, Joy would hear my mom’s voice and would talk along with us, filling my mom in on the going’s on of what was happening.

When I would leave the room while writing across from her, she would tweet for me, as if “where are you? where did you go?”. Looking for me, searching for me.

Is she searching for me?

This is where I have been sitting every morning for two months while I began writing my book. Joy’s cage used to sit on that yellow cabinet and I sat down this morning and was filled with sadness and emptiness.


There is no more Joy in this room.

Literally and figuratively.

30 thoughts on “The Year that Joy Went Out the Window”

  1. Oh Kari,
    My heart breaks for you all. Your family doesn’t deserve this. This isn’t a test. Just a fluke.
    Let’s pray she finds her way back to her real mama-you. ❤️
    Sending you all love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am too. My mom said she read that they can find their way home up to weeks later. It’s been shared over 100 times on a local site so I hope someone has spotted her. My fear is that she has died but I just want her not to have suffered.


  2. Damn, Kari. It HAS been a shitty year. I wish I could write some words to make it better, but I know there aren’t any. Sometimes there is no larger meaning, no Why at the root of what happens. I’m so sorry the Wheel of Random Fortune landed on this spoke, and I hope you find your Joy (literal and metaphorical) soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This had to be a tough one to write. It is incredibly hard to lose pets and I miss them many years after they are gone. Unless you have loved and lost a bird you truly have no idea how they enhance your life. Hoping for the best possible results for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So my mom has an interesting perspective. Joy loved hearing birds singing on YouTube and looked for them on my phone as if to join them and she was doing just that when I was walking into the kitchen and she flew away. My mom said maybe, even though she adored us, was always longing to fly free with the birds. That makes my heart happy if true and I am trying to remain positive. If she is meant to be with us, she will end up with us and that is how I believe the Universe works. SIGH. But it still hurts my heart no matter what. 🙂


  4. Kari, my heart breaks for you and your family. I am so sorry. I was praying last night for Joy to come home and if not, for her to be happy and safe in the trees and sunshine and flying through the beautiful skies.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that last part. So much. Maybe she’s meant to be free and with her bird friends. Happy in the sunshine. I hope that for her. I miss her sounds so much and I’ve cried more than I’d like to admit for a bird. I just want to know she’s okay. ❤️


  5. I really hope she comes back soon or she finds her own joy in the sunshine! When I was young, my parakeet died when I was in Pakistan…I think she waited until I was gone so I wouldn’t have to find her body and cry, but it was hard returning to the home and not getting one more chirp.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww I’m so sorry. When you live in the country, dogs go away to die, so that’s similar.

      I did think that maybe she went away for a reason. But I miss her so much. For such a little life, her presence is so missed.


  6. Oh my gosh, I am so very sorry. I know how much she meant to you. I hope she finds her way back to you. Pets mean ever that much more now that we’ve had to lean on them for support in this lonely time. Sending you so much love.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I figured since I as already crying I would finally read this…I still have nothing intelligent to say beyond how sorry I am

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s