Childhood, Family, Soul Homework, Universe, What I Kept

what i kept – april 2024

Writer McWriterson

these are the things i kept on my phone in the month of april.

click here to read previous posts.

this is biscuits blood brother, pagoda. he’s madly in love with me. (the feeling is mutual)
eclipse day
i took a screenshot of the changes in my google searches over the course of one week. how our lives changed in an instant…
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anna’s nana died last april. last year, i bought daffodils in her memory at the grocery store. after they wilted, i planted them in this garden. i almost never have luck with such things. these started blooming the day after my dad died.
thank you, culver’s employee, for putting big chunks of heath bar in my ice cream. you just have no idea how much this meant to me.
@frank_schaeffer

Saying “I Love You” is One Thing… It Has to Be Said. – April 18, 2024 Follow Frank on Substack. https://frankschaeffer.substack.com

♬ original sound – Frank Schaeffer
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day drinking at a barnaby’s with my mom and anna while 80s music played over the loudspeaker. magical.
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this feather fell on mike while he was outside with the dogs on my birthday.

every year on my birthday, my dad would send me (usually via email) the song listen to the music by the doobie brothers. my dad and i used to dance to this song when i was little; he would put me on the top of his feet and take me around the house while i giggled and sang along.

i really missed getting that email yesterday.

but, i heard that song all week leading up to my birthday in the most unexpected of places.

one example:

@minimisandrist

my precious baby #adoptdontshop #nyc

♬ Listen to the Music – The Doobie Brothers

it forced me to really listen to the lyrics.

i realized that my dad was sending me that email.

it was a really tough month, but there were also many good moments. i’m really fortunate to have so many good humans in my life, those i see in person and all of you. i appreciate all of you. 😘

33 thoughts on “what i kept – april 2024”

  4. Nothing is gone forever. If we came from dust and will return to dust then we can find our way into anything.

    A beautiful sentiment. Thanks for sharing it here.

    I like your green front door. It is so you and makes me smile thinking about you. I hope you’re doing okay as you go through the next few months, handling the grief, remembering what needs to be remembered. 💚

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    1. Isn’t the poem lovely?

      I love the green door as well. Our house is white, so the green door makes it look much happier.

      I’m doing okay. Last night I was looking for something on my phone and came across pictures from the day before we found out my dad had inflammation on his bone scan. I’m also grieving the person I was who was unaware of the news. December 14th me. Layers…❤️

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  7. It goes without saying how much I love that you heard that song leading up to your birthday! How amazing is that?!? And God bless that Culver’s employee! Your selfie is beautiful. I want to go day drinking with you guys! The blooming of the daffodils is also phenomenal. You are experiencing a lot of good stuff in the midst of grief.

    Your photos of holding hands . . . My husband took photos of him holding hands with his dad and me holding my dad’s hand at their end of lives. So poignant. ❤️ I’m glad you’re posting, even though I know it can be difficult. Hugs and 💕

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    1. So amazing! Our TikTok feed also had a lot of dad jokes. My dad loved “dad” jokes. ❤️

      Come to Illinois! Let’s day drink! And get Culvers with extra Heath bars! So much good stuff in the midst of grief. ❤️

      Those are my mom and dad’s hands on my dad’s final day in the hospital. Even today, seeing his allergy band on his wrist makes me emotional. He had a shellfish allergy and I believe he was allergic to a medication, but just after I took this picture, his angel nurse April cut that band off because he no longer needed it. So many poignant moments…

      I’m glad I’m posting it too. I want to remember all of this in the future. I want the kids to be able to look at this when they get older. I don’t want my dad to ever be forgotten. He was absolutely wonderful. This is what a blog is for, right? 💕

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  9. Kari, I LOVE that second photo down of you and your brother with the bunny ears. OMG….SOOOOOOOO cute!

    That quote by Maya Angelou is just the best! I remember hearing her say that during an interview I saw. What a lovely and very powerful woman she was!

    The photographs of your dad are so touching. They remind me of when my dad passed at Hospice – feeding and caring for him during his last nine days.

    Love that “Word for the Day!”

    How wonderful about the song! Just hearing it again made me also recall some wonderful memories.

    I love your smile in that photo!

    Please know that I continue to send much Reiki to you and your family. I send it every morning while meditating.

    X to you, my friend!

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    1. I agree! It’s my favorite picture of us. It was taken at Six Flags. ❤️

      I loved Maya Angelou. She has so many wonderful poems, books, quotes, and stories. She’s always been an inspiration for me.

      Feeding and caring for him- yes. I’m so glad you had that time with your dad. That time with my dad was probably the most memorable for me while he was on this earth.

      I love it, too. ❤️

      It’s a great song. Actually, all of the lyrics are pretty amazing. I love it when I pay close attention to the lyrics of a song I thought I knew and then dig deeper to discover new meaning.

      Oh, Ron, thank you so much for sending it to us each morning. You are such a gift to me and my family. I appreciate you so very much. 😘❤️

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  10. So many things in this post that touched my heart and turned on my tear maker.

    I’ll forever think of your Dad when I hear that Doobie Brothers song and I DO believe he was sending you that email. 😉

    I know this has been the worst time, but you look beautiful and I’m glad you took that pic on your birthday.

    I remember my first few birthdays without my Mom, I really missed getting the phone call and a small gift/card in the mail. Seems silly, but that had been happening for forty eight years of my life, so I never thought about it NOT happening.

    XOXO

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    1. Whenever I hear that song, I think about him. I always have, so I love that my TikTok feed was flooded with it during my birthday week!

      Thank you, friend! What a lovely thing to say. I’m glad I took it, too. I want to get back into taking selfies. No more self-loathing.

      There’s nothing silly about that. We aren’t well-prepared for this moment. It’s the end of something. I am sending a huge hug to you. Love you, dear friend. 😘❤️

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  12. The flowers blooming when they hadn’t before . . . and the song popping up randomly? Well, that is sure something. Great post. Big hugs. And, not a dog owner, but I do so love the dog photos. 😉

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  13. Kari, you kept so many beautiful things during April. What a month of change and grief you had. The list of Google searches had me in tears. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.

    And then there’s Pagoda with the most hilarious expression! I love that photo!

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  14. I love the Mitch Albom quote. For a split second, I was thinking Mitch HEDBERG, the comedian. Funny as he is, there’s no way he could ever be so profound.

    Mitch ALBOM hit the nail on the head.

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  15. Kari, I want to climb into the internet and give you a big hug. Your post is filled with beautiful images and words. My particular favourites are from Anne Lamont and Katherine May.

    I just love your wreath – so you, and the green door is the perfect backdrop for it. And thank you for the Doobie Brothers – it took me right back. You & your Dad shared such wonderful taste in music ❤ ❤

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    1. I want you to climb in and hug me! I wish that was possible. But your words make me feel like I’ve just received one. Thank you so much. 😘

      I love that wreath, too! I bought it on Etsy a few years ago. My parents both love music and played it almost every day while I was growing up. I was very lucky to have that in my life. 🖤

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