Not My Mother's Menopause- Chapter Eight – A Grace Full Life
Monday’s post about childhood books sparked a flood of memories about beloved books that many of you couldn’t remember the titles of. This broke my heart, so I went to Google and tried to find the books for you, but I couldn’t locate anything. I did, however, come across a number of fantastic websites that might help you in finding your books:
A few weeks ago, my friend Elizabeth shared a post on toxic positivity, and in that post, she shared the following quote:
“It’s not our job to solve problems for our children, but it is our job to listen and love them.”
In this week’s podcast, I talked about holding space for our loved ones and what it actually means to hold space for another person.
I discuss how difficult it is to do this and how it took practice for me to be able to hold space for my loved ones. It’s natural to want to give advice to help those around us who are in distress, especially when those in need are our children.
Holding space became a technique that I needed to work on, and I felt compelled to share this with others in hopes that you could benefit from my experience.
Here are 11 helpful tips on how to hold space for someone:
Then I moved on to discussing toxic positivity because, while holding space for someone, it’s easy to comfort them with statements like, “it’ll be fine.” While this appears to be harmless, it is not.
I explain that I am the most guilty of practicing toxic positivity on myself. Shaming me for my own feelings by implying that what I’m going through is insignificant compared to what others are going through.
I wanted to talk about toxic positivity because I never want anyone to think I’m trying to portray my soul homework or healing process in that light. I’m a lot happier now than I used to be, and I’m also a lot less negative. But I never want someone to believe that if they are sad, depressed, or anxious, I am shutting them down. I still have many days like that, and I allow myself to feel those emotions because they are an important part of the process.
I feel that many people are uninformed of what toxic positivity truly is, and through this platform, I hope to share these things with all of you so that you can learn, and share it with others.
In the podcast, I mentioned four ways to avoid toxic positivity:
At the end of the podcast, I shared a quote that I felt fit with what I was talking about here:
“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives.”
-Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D. from the book, The Body Keeps The Score
Have you ever truly held space for someone? Have you ever been on the receiving end?
Have you ever been subjected to toxic positivity? Are you guilty of self-shaming, like I was?