Family, Favorite Things, Grief, Life, What I Kept

what i kept – november 2024

Kari

i began writing this monthly post unintentionally in may 2022, motivated by an unexpected and deeply personal loss. your engagement with these posts means so much to me. i wasn’t sure i would continue after that summer, but now, it has become a cherished part of my monthly routine.

thank you for reading along each month.

this is the christmas cactus at my mom’s house, in the room where my dad died. it bloomed this month for the first time in many years.
that big room at the end of the hall was where my dad began his cancer journey—and where it ended.

this month, my mom had a fall and was taken to that same hospital by ambulance. thankfully, we were with her when it happened. she’s doing much better now and will soon have surgery that will help her heal and regain strength in so many ways.

being at the hospital this time felt different—comforting, even. it felt like a place of care for mom, not a reminder of loss.

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meet melon, honeydew, and canteloupe ❤️

i guess it’s time to introduce you to our three newest family members—especially since they’ve been with us for a year now. last november, we adopted guinea pigs from a hoarding situation: a mom and her two daughters. mike took them to the shelter for a nail trim and sent the above picture.

they were also july’s pets of the month at the shelter! we didn’t realize this until we got the calendar. 🤣

i was a good patient and prepped properly for my colonoscopy (and endoscopy), and my results were good! i had a biopsy done on my esophagus because it was irritated and i had trouble swallowing. the doctor stretched it, which has helped immensely. he also put me on a 30-day pantoprazole regimen. the biopsy was negative, and everything’s fine.

the colonoscopy showed a few small polyps. they were the type that can turn into colon cancer (adenoma), so i’ll need to go back every five years instead of every seven.

get a colonoscopy if you haven’t yet. 😘

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anna got her wisdom teeth removed this month and was home recovering. it felt so good to be able to take care of her. there’s just no place like home. biscuits agrees. 🖤
buddy, too.
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wishing you all a beautiful thanksgiving. despite the challenges of this tumultuous year, there’s still so much to be grateful for—especially each of you. you’ll be in my thoughts this thursday. ❤️

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55 thoughts on “what i kept – november 2024”

  2. I’m the type who likes a little pie with his whipped cream too. :)

    How do you like raising guinea pigs? I was intrigued as a kid but settled for a hamster instead. (I should have pushed harder for the guinea pig.)

    Hope you have a happy and delicious Thanksgiving!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is the best way to eat pie! 😄

      Well, there’s a bit of a story behind it, but let’s just say we ended up becoming guinea pig parents unintentionally. I’m allergic, so I can’t be around them for too long, which makes me really sad because they are just the cutest little things, and I love them. But Mike, who we affectionately call “Farmer Mike,” takes care of them the most, and they absolutely adore him. They’re much more interactive than a hamster. Ella has one of those too—so it’s pretty much a little farm around here.

      Happy Thanksgiving to you (and Tara!) as well! 🦃💛

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I never had luck with Christmas cacti. Your Mom’s cactus is beautiful. Sigh on the times we will actually get to spend with someone. We are feeling that significantly this Thanksgiving, as it may be one of the last we get to spend with all our children and grandchildren together in the same room.

    I’m sorry to hear that your Mom fell, but it sounds like she is in better shape than my Mom was after her fall. My mother was in the hospital again last week. She passed out and was vomiting, so they took her to the ER. She tested positive for Covid. I took her back to assisted living on Wed night, but she is very weak from laying in bed for 4 days in the hospital and now has a catheter. It never seems to end.

    All three of my kids had their wisdom teeth removed the week of Thanksgiving. The oral surgeon said it was the best holiday to do it because the food is generally soft. I hope Anna has fully recovered.

    You’ve ended with the perfect picture for Thanksgiving. I hope yours is full of happiness and gratitude. XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, my friend, I feel this so deeply with you. Ella asked me a few weeks ago if Anna is spending the night to open gifts on Christmas morning this year. (Still undecided) The thought of not having both of them with me on Christmas morning brings tears to my eyes as I type this. I think it’s because this will be our first holiday without my dad, and everything just feels heavier. It feels like we’re losing people, even though I know that’s not true. These are the moments when I wish I had a time machine…

      She is doing much better. It sounds like her surgery next week should have a quicker recovery, which is such a blessing. I’m sending you so much love and comfort as you walk this journey with your mom. I can only imagine how much this weighs on your heart—it must be incredibly emotionally draining.

      I also had my wisdom teeth removed the week of Thanksgiving! Anna is fully recovered!

      I hope your Thanksgiving is full of the same, my friend. 😘❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Love the blooming Christmas cactus! Mine have exploded in color this year. Glad to hear your mom is doing better after her fall and that the hospital actually felt welcoming. Yay for good test results and feeling better!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “I wanted to carry more but my arms were broken, I wanted to keep helping but my heart was too, I am now learning to be both the lighthouse and the sinking ship” – my god Kari, that is so moving. I love it so much, I love when you post these snippets.

    I hope your mom is okay. How scary. Falls can be so devastating, may her healing be quick and complete.

    In terms of the colonoscopy: a) so glad you got the full treatment this time! b) my husband also had polyps, including one that had grown to be 4 centimetres, because he had put off his colonoscopy for over seven years when it should have been five, due to covid. So that sucker could have been there for a while. The little polyps were easy peasy to get rid of but the biggie was a whole thing. What I’m saying is YES GET THE COLONOSCOPY. I mean, when else can you eat all the jello in the world? (even if you can’t get the best flavour, which is cherry imo)

    I have a whole post about Christmas cactii. I have one that a friend gave me, it’s very old – nineteen – and it hasn’t bloomed at all since I’ve had it for the past two plus years. I have a whole post planned about feeling at one with this non-blooming cactus, whose name is Noelle. Your mom’s is beautiful and who knows, maybe Noelle will bloom again one day.

    A HEART SHAPED POTATO CHIP. I both would want to save it forever and eat it immediately. What’s better than a ripple chip with dip?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know! I cried when I read it too.

      My mom’s doing well now. The first few days were tough—she was in a lot of pain, and her face was black and blue. But we both believe this fall happened for a reason. When her surgeon saw her face (he already knew about the fall), it pushed him to schedule her surgery sooner. Of course, the MRI and X-rays backed it up, but I think his compassion made all the difference.

      Cherry jello really is the best flavor! Honestly, the colonoscopy wasn’t as bad as people say. My sweet dad had two while hospitalized during the three months he was sick. I remember telling him before my first one in March, “If you can go through everything you’ve endured, I can handle a measly colonoscopy.” ❤️

      NOELLE! I love it! Maybe my mom should name her cactus…

      NOTHING BETTER.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Kari, that Christmas cactus is GORGEOUS! I believe the blooming is your father looking down at you and your family with LOVE.

    Pumpkin pie….my very, very FAVORITE!

    Love the “What is life?” quote!

    Okay, and that 50s looking diner is my kind of place. How cool is that!

    So happy to hear that your mother is okay. Sending LOTS of healing energy her way….((((((((((((( X your mom X )))))))))))))

    That vintage Thanksgiving Day photo is priceless. Reminds me of my childhood. I can literally smell and taste that turkey!

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! X

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Isn’t it?? I believe it too, my friend—100 percent. 💕

      It was my dad’s favorite as well! He always requested it on his birthday instead of cake, so we had it this year in his honor—that’s the picture I shared.

      I love it too.

      That’s his favorite diner! Omg, that’s so funny. He grew up on the East Coast (New Jersey), so it totally makes sense you two would have so much in common. My mom and I actually went there for breakfast on his birthday—it’s our favorite breakfast spot too. 🩷

      Thank you, my friend. Keep that Reiki flowing—her surgery is next week.

      I can too!

      Happy Thanksgiving to you too, my friend. 😘❤️

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  8. There is so much here, I keep scrolling back over your words, the things you kept, the thoughts you are contemplating and I’m like one of those bobble head dolls that just keeps nodding in total recognition. Happy Thanksgiving Kari, much love to you and yours. Hugs, C

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m so happy that your mom is OK after her fall. That’s so scary. So glad you got the colonoscopy behind you and that the throat stretching helped! I loved looking through all these lovely photos and quotes. I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving too, Kari!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am too, Michelle—it was such a scary experience. She’s finally getting her long-awaited back surgery next week, and she also has an appointment with an orthopedist to evaluate her knee. We’re really hoping both will bring her the much-needed relief she deserves.

      My dad had to have his throat stretched many years ago, too. In a lot of ways, we were two peas in a pod when it came to health challenges. Thankfully, I’m feeling so much better now!

      Wishing you a very happy Thanksgiving, Michelle!

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  16. Your mom’s Christmas cactus (or it could be a Thanksgiving cactus) is beautiful. I love that it’s blooming right now. I feel so bad for your mom that she had that bad fall. I know after she has her back surgery and gets through the healing process, that she will feel so much better and be steadier on her feet.

    Love all your book highlights and photos…mmm, pumpkin pie. My favorite. My mom is making that for dessert on Thanksgiving.

    I did not know you had *three* guinea pigs! For some reason, I thought you had two. OMG, they are so cute.

    I recognize the restaurant wall photo. :-)

    I’m glad to hear your procedures went well, but sorry to hear you had to have your esophagus stretched and that you’re on that medication. Do some research on both…I’ve read from functional doctors that those kind of medications actually make reflux worse in the long run. And that the problem usually is too little stomach acid, not too much. Worth looking into! Or having a consultation with a functional medicine doctor, if that interests you.

    That last photo of you gazing so sweetly at your dad as he’s carving the turkey is priceless. <3

    Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Fingers crossed the surgery happens Thursday—here’s hoping insurance isn’t a total poopy head.

      I hope you loved your pumpkin pie!

      We couldn’t bear to separate them, and no one was adopting them as a trio. It’s a lot of work, but they’re just the sweetest.

      Our favorite diner!

      I love that picture, too.

      Happy belated Thanksgiving! 😘❤️

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  17. Wow, a lot for you this month. I’m sorry about your mom’s injury, glad she’s doing well. And it’s good that you felt comfort when in the hospital.

    The first book excerpt about another’s closure about one’s grief reminded me of a friend who’s a trauma counsellor (and she knows trauma, having lost a child in a school shooting); she has told people about Ring Theory, mostly for self-preservation. If you haven’t heard about it, you may want to read this article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/promoting-hope-preventing-suicide/201705/ring-theory-helps-us-bring-comfort-in (the link is a bit misleading; it’s not about suicide).

    “Time” is such an amazing song.

    And yes, loss does change us. Every time.

    A peaceful Thanksgiving to you, even though your country has it a month late. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My mom’s surgery is scheduled for Thursday—fingers crossed everything goes smoothly (looking at you, insurance company).

      OMG, I’m absolutely sharing that Ring Theory! I wish I’d known about it last year, but I’m so grateful to have it now to share with others. Thank you so much for passing it along!

      I heard the song on TikTok last week. Someone said the song reminded him of a friend who lost his brother in the 80s. His dad played it over and over the day his son died. It’s such a beautiful song—one my dad and I both loved in the 80s. I’ve been listening to it a lot, thinking of that dad and son, my dad and me.

      LOL—America should definitely take some notes from Canada. That’s a campaign I’d get behind! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Your photos are so full of meaning, and some of those quotes especially spoke to me. I’m glad to hear your hospital visit with your mom felt okay, and that she’s going to be better after surgery. I have that same kind of polyp and go every five years, as well. Back to your photos though – I love the light in your house and the way you capture your critters. Congrats on the new ones!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww, thank you so much for this comment. These posts are my favorite to create, so your kind words mean the world to me.

      My mom’s back surgery is set for this Thursday, though insurance is being tricky. Fingers crossed it doesn’t get delayed—she’s in so much pain.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I got distracted while commenting and didn’t say what I meant to say about that first quote. “It’s just as important for you to hear yourself speak your stories as it is
    for others to hear you speak them.”

    I’ve just started trauma therapy and am prepping for EDMR, and I’m learning what happens when you can finally say aloud the full story of a trauma, not just feel the emotions or remember the colors or hear the sounds. Apparently, telling the story allows your brain and nervous system to put the trauma in the past, so you can stop dealing with it in the present. Amazing. Not to imply you have trauma! Reading that was just good timing for me. Keep telling your story in these posts!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely, yes. A few weeks ago, I was talking to Mike about my dad’s death, especially that week in hospice. I told him I needed to process everything we went through and witnessed—it’s been sitting inside me, and I just needed to let some of it out. After we talked, I felt a lot lighter. It’s still there, but we’re letting it out little by little.

      Wishing you so much love and luck with your EMDR. I feel like that might be part of my path someday too—not necessarily for my dad’s death, but for other mental health struggles I’ve faced.

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      1. I recommend the book, The Body Keeps the Score. It’s about the way our brains process trauma and how that affects the rest of our nervous system and endocrine system—it’s been an amazing life changer for me. Even just a glance through it might give you ideas for your path through grief and how to travel it mindfully.

        Liked by 1 person

  20. Oh, Kari, That photo of you and your dad! The way you are looking at him. It makes my heart hurt and feel so good, both at the same time. A lot of things do that for me now. So many good things you kept. Love seeing all your critters. Love seeing all the things you’re reading. Love seeing a glimpse of you. (Did you get new glasses? I love them!) I am so glad your mom is doing OK. Isn’t it strange and amazing in a good way how the meaning of a place can change for us? I lovelovelove the look of that diner! Wish I could grab some breakfast there with you. And Tommy Orange–he is right. I’m thankful for all the ways in which you speak your stories here. Wishing you peace through this holiday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I felt those emotions too. Thanksgiving was tougher for me than I expected.

      Nope, same glasses I got over the summer.

      That diner is in my mom’s town and was my dad’s favorite breakfast spot! My mom and I went there on his birthday. It’s still a special place, and if you ever visit me, it’s the first stop we’d make. ❤️

      Wishing you peace as well, my friend.

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  21. Double tater tots! Oh that’s a hoot. I am in awe of your super photogenic guinea pigs, talk about cuteness. I agree about the value of Reiki training, it transcends, your energy is forever changed for the positive.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Kari, I was absolutely convinced I’d commented, but it looks like I managed to goof it up. Probably one of those, I’ll type a bit, then go back to read, type some more, so on…. and this time, I didn’t get to finish before shutting down my PC.

    I do remember saying I particularly liked the quotations from Tommy Orange and Anne Lamont. Anne Lamont is in no way unexpected, but I’ve yet to read Tommy Orange, so it raises my hopes for the books which are on my Kindle waiting for them to read the top of the list.

    Love, love, love your guinea pigs – cuteness personified <3

    Liked by 2 people

  23. That last pic of you—-STOLE MY DAMN HEART!

    You are right, there is always SO much to be thankful for. I love this post. Sending healing hugs to your sweet Mom; I hope she’s doing better.

    I love your three new additions! I also love cilantro; am I part guinea pig? They are adorable and you guys are so good to save them. I’m sure they love it at your house.

    The pic (and thought) of Anna being home for recovery is so sweet. I remember when I did that with Lindsay about 5 years ago; being a mom is such an honor.

    XOXO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Right? My little face. 💕

      She’s doing so much better now—currently recovering from back surgery, which is such a good thing. She’s on her way to becoming a whole new woman. ❤️

      I love cilantro too! We must have some guinea pig DNA in us—they love it here, and honestly, we love having them around just as much.

      I love what you said—it’s so true. Being a mom really is the greatest honor.

      😘💕❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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