Grief, Life, What I Kept

What I Kept – March & April 2026

Kari

I thought I would have something to say by now. It’s been a month, almost two, and I keep waiting for the words to come together in a way that makes sense.

I stepped away because life felt heavier than usual, and somewhere in that, writing stopped feeling natural. But I miss being here with you, the conversations in the comments.

I don’t have a clear takeaway or a tidy reflection. Just small things I’ve noticed along the way, and the pull to come back and share them here.

I don’t know what this space will look like going forward. I used to think I needed to show up every week, but I’m not holding myself to that right now. I’m here, and for now, that feels like enough.

summer 2022

In May 2022, my childhood best friend died of cancer. We weren’t speaking at the time, and I spent the year that followed grieving her in a deep and complicated way. This series became part of how I moved through that grief.

I thought it would be temporary, something to help me process what I was carrying. But over time, I fell in love with putting this post together.

These are the things I’ve kept over the last two months.

Ella and Tink, my parents’ dog — 2011
Union Station – Chicago
Anna shared this on her Instagram. She has been to so many places since March.
Source
Me in June of 1993. I see Anna and Ella in my face.
Source

In early April, we were at mom’s for dinner when I noticed the Christmas tree lights were on in the den. I assumed my mom had turned them on earlier while she was cleaning or getting things ready. Later, Ella came in from the bathroom and said, “Oh Mamie, I love that you have the Christmas tree lights on.”

My mom hadn’t turned them on.

That room holds a lot for us. It’s where my dad died on hospice two years ago this month.

So seeing it lit up like that, in this month especially, was something.

source
Anna sent this to us from London on Easter
My dad’s nickname for me- Mugs…not pizza and ribs
source

Mike took this photo one morning on his way to cardiac rehab. He’s in week four of the program, going three days a week for two hours each time to help rebuild his strength. He’s doing really well—physically, he’s fully healed from open-heart surgery. The human body is pretty remarkable.

source
Me and Dad, July of 1994 in Ohio- not London
My favorite comfort dessert – my mom’s chocolate pudding with a marshmallow on top
He turns 10 this month. Biscuits turns 5.
Raining while sunny. LOVE.
Look at mom’s lilacs

Recently, I was nominated for something called a Sunshine Blogging Award by a fellow blogging friend. Bloggers will know these awards. They tend to make their way around, asking you to answer a few questions and pass them along. The award isn’t really an award at all, just in name only. I didn’t do anything to receive it beyond being a friend.

But when I saw my name, I didn’t really think about any of that at first. I just thought about the person who took a moment to include me.

Small gestures are worth more than we tend to give them credit for. They remind me that we’re still paying attention to each other, even in passing ways. I don’t know if I’ll follow every step or pass it along exactly as it’s meant to go. But I do know I’m grateful to have been included. So thank you, friend, for including me.

Please check out my friend’s blog—I think you’d really like it. He writes about music, one of my favorite things, and also weaves in little stories from his life.

Last little notes- I’m no longer writing in lower case. It actually took more work to do that, if you can believe it.

Psst- it’s birthday week…🌈

Discover more from A Grace Full Life

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

32 thoughts on “What I Kept – March & April 2026”

  2. I’m so happy to see new words from you! And pics, of course. Too many to comment on, unless you want to see me rambling for a few hours, but:

    A) I love the weeks/decades quote
    B) I see Cyndi Lauper in your face
    C) The holiday lights gave me goosebumps

    And it’s so cool that Anna is seeing so many new places!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. Aww, thank you friend! It’s so good to see you here too.

      Thank you for the Cyndi Lauper compliment—the holiday lights gave me goosebumps too.

      It’s so cool. I track her on the Flighty app every flight she takes, so it feels like I’m traveling too. ✈️

      Like

      Reply

  4. “I helped a man climb a mountain, only to realize I too had reached the top.” How profound is that?

    Welcome back! It’s so good to see you, and hear that your family is doing well.

    Blogging is the kind of friendship where you don’t talk for months and then pick up right where you left us. However blogging best serves you in the stage of life, let it be that.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Right?? It made me realize I’ve been to the top of a lot more mountains than I thought 💜

      Thank you. It’s good to be back and see you too.

      I love this. There’s something really true in the way blogging holds people—no matter how much time passes, it seems to keep a thread between us. It feels less like keeping up and more like returning when you can.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    1. Right?? We both made it to the top of the mountain! How is your husband doing? How are YOU?

      It was a Nothing Bundt cake- my friend gave it to us for Anna’s birthday. 💜🌈

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

      1. My husband is not great. A knee is not a heart, but still kind of important for quality of life. Hoping he turns the corner soon. Thanks for asking! 💜

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Hi Kari! I was so delighted to see your post show up in my email! I’m happy to know that Mike is doing well, and the lilacs are in full bloom. I’ll bet it smells wonderful outside! I love the scent of lilacs. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s perfectly understandable that you needed a break. I love the quote “Take care of each other, take care of the earth, and make cool things.” That’s my goal in life!
    Thank you for sharing all of these lovely things you kept.
    I’m glad you’re here!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I always forget my post goes out in emails. I love that you were happy to receive it—that makes me happy too.

      That lilac border is so spectacular every spring. It looks and smells so lovely. I even took a video—I might try to share it.

      That’s my goal in life too. I love that it’s yours. I’m really glad you’re here 😘

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  7. Hey Kari Happiest of Birthdays fellow April Bday Friend. Post when ya can, this was a welcome return to read your thoughts. Congrats to Mike on a lovely recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much, fellow April birthday friend 💜 That really means a lot.

      And thank you— Mike is doing really well. We’re so grateful.

      Like

      Reply

  9. My brother gave us a little sprig of a thing to put in the ground when we moved into our house x number of years ago (what is time?).

    I found a spot by the side gate to plant it, and have watered it intently with regularity not remembering what it was.

    This year it bloomed for the first time and I almost missed it… A white lilac with a scent that floats around, inviting acknowledgement in the softest of ways to come closer. To notice.

    I’m told the blooms won’t last much longer, but the leaves will remain sturdy through the season — a reminder of what was and what will be.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply

    1. This is so beautiful. I love that you cared for it all that time without knowing what it was, and then it revealed itself like that. A white lilac feels like such a gentle kind of gift.

      Lilacs were my dad’s favorite, and my mom has a white lilac in their backyard that he planted. It’s always the first to bloom in the spring. Reading this made me think of that.

      Even as the blooms fade, I love that something remains. Thank you for sharing this with me 💜

      Like

      Reply

  10. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KARI!!!

    I’m so glad to see you here. I’ve missed you. I know it’s felt weird for you to write but I am so glad you’re here. You know, we ARE all here to take care of each other and the earth, and to make cool stuff. It’s true.

    I love everything you kept, and I hope you keep sharing with us. It’s uplifting for everyone, I think.

    Also, omg, I love that 1993 photo. I had very similar hair back then. I have been thinking of posting some old photos from the 90s, maybe I will do it!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you, friend. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONTH TO US!! 💜

      I’m so glad to be back. I’ve missed you too, even though I’ve seen you on your blog and Instagram and WhatsApp. There’s something about seeing you here again that feels special. That quote really is lovely—it’s the kind that deserves to be repeated once in a while.

      I think so too.

      Do it!! I love finding the future in the past.

      Like

      Reply

  11. What terrific news about Mike; I’m so glad for the both of you.

    ALL THOSE LILACS! That would be a dream come true for me. Lilacs are my all-time favourite flower, and they are almost always blooming in time for my birthday (May 3). My mom used to make me an angel food cake and put a bunch of lilacs in the middle in a teeny glass.

    Sigh…Mary Oliver. I’m forever grateful for finding her, even though it was late in my life. It’s never too late for good poetry.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Me too, my friend.

      Lilacs are my favorite too! OMG—your birthday is just around the corner. Mine is today. My actual due date was May 3 or 4, I believe. I absolutely love that your mom made a cake like that. That sounds like something my grandmother would have done.

      Me too—and you’re so right. Never too late.

      Like

      Reply

  12. So great to hear Mike is recovering well. The human body IS amazing.

    I enjoyed your collage of photos. They pulled me in a number of different directions.

    And thanks for the kind words. Much appreciated.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Thank you so much. It really is amazing what the body can do—we’re feeling very grateful for his recovery.

      I’m so glad you enjoyed this.

      And you’re very welcome for the kind words. I meant them. 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

  13. Happy, Happy Birthday! I’ve missed you so much in this space, but I totally get it. I don’t think I’ll be around much this summer, but we will keep in touch. I’m glad to hear that Mike has healed from he surgery. That is GREAT news. Nothing is as important as health.

    Union Station! It’s as magnificent as Grand Central in NYC. I believe I was at Union Station when we switched Amtrak trains…..back in 1976!

    Your girls both look so much like you. Beautiful inside and out! That peace wreath on your front door is everything. And those lilacs! We have a small lilac bush next to our deck. It hasn’t bloomed yet, but I’m excited. We planted it about 5 years ago and have only ever had a few blooms on it, but I think this might be the year.

    I love the little sign via the Xmas tree from your Dad. And I love this little connection with us . . . on our first date, my husband took us to a campus bar called ‘Mugg’s.’ It’s long gone, but I love to see the name used elsewhere.

    Like

    Reply

  14. I’m very glad to hear from you. I was starting to worry. I apologize for not reaching out.

    I’m sorry the world is sitting heavy these days. Isn’t it funny how, when that happens, we tend to gloss over all the truly heavy things that have happened to us in the recent days and months?

    You’ve gone through a lot over these past couple of years, and sometimes, we hit a wall wherein everything in us says, “enough.”
    It’s funny how guilty we feel about our body and spirit telling us we need to pause. I definitely struggle with that.

    One thing that my mother’s death has taught me is that our culture doesn’t give enough space to grief, nor acknowledge its depth, breadth, influence, and longevity. You’ve had multiple losses in a short time. Illness in those close to us also causes stress and grief.

    Sending you all the comfort. Would that it was easier for us to be kind to ourselves.

    I used to write everything in lower case. It is more work, especially with “helpful” programs that constantly try to correct your “errors”

    🖤🕊️

    Like

    Reply

  15. I’ve missed your blog posts! Seeing you posted again made my day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! I’m so glad you were born and that the universe brought us together. You are a true blessing in my life. And, of course, loving the great news about Mike. <3The Christmas tree going on in your dad’s den…chills!I think both your girls look so much like you, but especially Ella.Never heard of the Sunshine Blogging Award, but you deserve it! And I will check out your friend’s blog.I LOVE YOU! xoxo

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to Nicole MacPherson Cancel reply