Family, Life, Things I Want to Remember

Things I Want to Remember – It’s Been Awhile

Kari

It’s been months since my last Things I Want to Remember post, but I’ve been keeping notes all along.

You’ll be able to find the other parts of this series here.

1- Wide-awake colonoscopies are a thing. Also: a great name for a band.

2- What if people asking for money at intersections are just part of the simulation, testing how we respond?

We spend so much energy deciding who deserves help, who might be telling the truth, and who we think is making the wrong choices. Maybe the real question is why we’re so reluctant to help another human being in the first place.

3- Speed bumps are proof that humans, as a whole, don’t make good decisions.

source

4- Peter Brady (aka Christopher Knight) has his own furniture line.

5- I used to get spiral perms all through high school—sometimes redone because the first round didn’t take. I can’t imagine doing that to my hair now.

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6- Speaking of hair, when I started working at Kohl’s in 1989, our location still had a beauty salon from its MainStreet department store days. I think it stayed open for about the first year I worked there.

MainStreet was a Chicago-area department store chain that Kohl’s acquired in 1988. For a little while, those old stores still carried pieces of their former life.

7- A server told me a few months ago that she always leaves room for dessert. I loved hearing her say that because same. Maybe she was upselling, but the way she said it made me smile anyway.

8- One evening, I found myself tracing Abraham Lincoln’s family tree, as one does. It started because I learned that Mary Todd Lincoln suffered from migraines. Can you imagine having migraines before Advil, before air conditioning, and while wearing one of those giant, suffocating dresses?

The genealogy rabbit hole didn’t take long to explore, though. Abraham and Mary had four sons, and only one lived past the age of 18. Their direct family line eventually ended with their great-grandson.

And in a completely random twist, Tom Hanks is a distant relative of Abraham Lincoln through Lincoln’s mother, Nancy Hanks Lincoln. I know that sounds made up, but it’s actually true.

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9- Airplane nerd fact I learned from Anna: Continental Airlines and United Airlines merged years ago, but United kept a version of the Continental globe logo on their tails.

10- I was on TikTok a few days ago when a woman shared a video of her front yard after a rainstorm. What caught my attention wasn’t the yard itself—it was the birds singing in the background.

They sounded completely different from the birds we have here because she lived in the South, and it made me realize how much I would love it if people shared the sounds of their yards more often. I think that would be so interesting.

I’d love to hear your yard noises. 💜

11- Speaking of TikTok, this one made me so happy.. and a little emotional. I hope you’re able to watch it:

@onlygrlparanoia

madlesmo on twitch 🤍 she loves horror games and making people laugh hehe streamer university next year mark my words #thatsmywhy #ilovemygf #twitchstreamer

♬ original sound – €

The That’s My Why trend is really about saying, this is why I keep going. This person is one of the reasons my life is what it is today.

Imagine if that creator had stopped streaming because they thought one viewer wasn’t enough. Their partner would never have been able to make that video, and that story would have disappeared before either of them knew it mattered.

Sometimes the value of what we’re doing isn’t obvious while we’re doing it.

Sometimes its meaning only becomes visible in hindsight.

I think that’s true of this blog, too.

Maybe one day Ella will be having a hard morning and want to read about the things that comforted her mom. Maybe Anna will be making waffles for her own kids and remember that I wrote about our favorite recipe. Maybe one of my grandchildren will read about the connection between their great-grandmother, her mother, and a hummingbird and feel connected to people they never had the chance to meet.

I can’t predict which post will matter, or to whom.

I just keep leaving little lanterns along the path.

Some of them will light the way for strangers.

Some of them will light the way home for my family.

And that’s enough.

Actually, I think it’s more than enough.

Maybe we’re all leaving lanterns behind in ways we don’t even realize. 💜

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63 thoughts on “Things I Want to Remember – It’s Been Awhile”

  1. Not only are there different songbirds depending on your location in the US, but the same songbirds sing with accents, depending on their location! Ha! (Songbirds are disappearing, though. As everyone knows, we should be adding biodiversity to our backyards for them.)

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  2. You ended with a perfect reason to continue blogging. Most of us don’t know who we are reaching on any given day. Though I do have to wonder why I get so many hits from Singapore~???

    I was not aware of Knight’s furniture line or of Main Street Department Stores.

    Have you used Merlin? It’s an app that listens to bird sounds around you and then identifies them. I use it on my walks sometimes and it’s so cool! Last night, it told me there was a red shouldered hawk nearby and that it was unusual for my area. It’s so interesting!

    I love going down a genealogy rabbit hole. I have a Family Search account that lists about 75 ‘famous’ people I’m related to. It’s things like I’m a 13th cousin to JFK. I’m a 10th cousin once removed to Princess Diana. Of course, these things are only true if all the research done is correct and believe me, I’ve found errors in the past. But it’s fun, nonetheless.

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    1. OMG, I’m laughing so hard. I used to get so many visitors from the Philippines when I was on Blogger, and I couldn’t figure out why. I need to go see where my visitors are coming from now.

      I would’ve had no idea about Main Street if I hadn’t moved out here in 1989. Kohl’s was my first real job when I moved to Illinois.

      I just left a comment with Rita about Merlin and how it has done me wrong. When I first got the app, I loved the bird identification function. But now it never identifies anything. It just keeps listening! So I guess I need to find something else.

      WHAT?? OMG, that is so cool! I nerd out about stuff like this. I feel like you and I could sit and talk for hours about birds, relatives, and airplanes. 🤣

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  3. Leaving little lanterns along the path. I love that. I’ve been lighting the way since ’09 myself.

    Wide Awake Colonoscopies is a great band name! Loved your 2016 post, too. I can see naming a band almost any of them (I do draw the line at Mucus Filled Blanket though). I’ve always said if I started a band, we’d be called Hannah and the Palindromes.

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    1. Yes you have!

      Yeah, Mucus Filled Blanket was a stretch. 🤣

      Hannah and the Palindromes is actually a fantastic band name. I feel like I need to know what kind of music they play now!

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  4. #2: This is a great question, with so much nuance. While I no longer give cash to people asking at intersections for *reasons*, I now always roll down my window and offer to meet folks at a nearby grocery store to buy whatever they need. In 13 years and 100+ offers, just 3 people have taken up my offer. All under $50, mostly vices, but no judgment. That is to say, if anyone is uncomfortable handing over cash, there are so many other ways to offer support to our fellow human beings.
    #10: We just had rain last night and the bird song is just delightful!
    Finally, leaving little lanterns along the path is the most beautiful analogy. Wow! 💜

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    1. I love this idea of finding ways to offer support that feel authentic and meaningful. I think that’s the beautiful thing about these conversations — there isn’t always one perfect answer, but there are so many ways to show kindness and care for another person.

      And yes, the birds after a rain! There is something so peaceful about that chorus. It’s like they’re celebrating the world waking back up. 🐦

      Thank you for your kind words about the lanterns. That idea has really stayed with me, too. I think so much of what we do leaves little traces behind, even when we don’t know who will find them or when. 💜

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  5. I’m not great at picking up on the bird noises in our yard but I do love watching them. We had robin playing in our sprinklers this morning! I didn’t get to see it myself but it sounded so funny as they jumped and flitted closer to and then further away from the water. As if they were a little kid playing!

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    1. I think that’s one of my favorite things about birds — they have so much personality if we slow down enough to notice. It really does remind me of kids playing sometimes. 💜

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  6. I love the idea that our expressed thoughts are little lanterns for other people, at least some of the time. What a lovely analogy you’ve written.

    It’s interesting, the things that catch our attention and inspire period deep dives into a subject. Speaking of descendents, I recently learned something interesting – male nuclear DNA degrades more quickly than female nuclear DNA as generations progress. By the fifth generation – great-great-grandchild – there’s only about 3% of the original male contribution – Y chromosomes are weaker than X, and there are also just more X chromosomes. Our species is quite matrilineal, it seems.

    I wanted a spiral perm because everyone had one, but when my mom at last took me, they gave me a standard perm. I looked like a brown poodle.

    I will have to hunt up some videos with birdsong.

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    1. Aww, thank you. It helped me to think of it this way, too. Sometimes I wonder why I’m writing and whether any of it matters, but then something small happens that reminds me that words can land somewhere we never expected. That TikTok video healing something inside of me was such a good reminder of that.

      I love that you went down a DNA rabbit hole! It’s fascinating what we learn when one little thing sparks our curiosity.

      Also, I am laughing at the brown poodle comment. Our poor 80s hair! We really did put our hair through a lot in the name of fashion. 🤣

      And yes, please hunt up some birdsong videos! I would love to know what birds you have near you. 🐦

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  7. I had many spiral perms in my life, my poor hair.

    Something I learned recently was that Mary Todd Lincoln had several brothers and they all fought in the Confederate army. That would be some Thanksgiving dinner table conversation.

    Remind me to send you a voice note on whatsapp, I will record my yard sounds one morning! I hope I remember to do this! We have many many birds around and they are always quite loud when I’m just getting up!

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    1. Our poor, poor hair. I feel like it’s still reeling.

      OMG, are you kidding me?? I didn’t know that! I wonder how that affected their relationship. That is definitely some good conversation!

      YES! I want Canadian birds!

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  9. Love your lanterns, Kari. And also want to throw out that our creative acts can be meaningful even if no one sees them. I think it can be enough to do what we do just for ourselves. (Working on internalizing this belief. Requires some re-programming.) I see that Bijoux recommended the Merlin app, and I’ll second that. A friend introduced it to me just a few weeks ago. It is free and it is so cool. I’ll send you some of my birds soon.

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    1. YES to creating just for ourselves. I don’t know that I would’ve gotten through all of the things I’ve gone through without writing.

      Sooo, I’ve had the Merlin app for a long time, but the bird ID feature hasn’t been working for me. It’s incredibly frustrating when I hear a bird I’ve never heard before and Merlin won’t tell me what it is. First-world bird problems. 🤣

      Yes, send me your birds!

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  10. So weird, I just scheduled my colonoscopy an hour ago and I will not be wide awake! I often wonder why I’m still hosting a blog. Is it changing anyone’s life? Or is it one more thing people feel they have to do? I’ve cut want back on writing not that Larry and I are retired and we’re traveling a lot while our health is good. I wonder too if it’s all about legacy, leaving something for the next generations to read and understand their great, great grandma? Anyway, I like the lantern image. Keep lighting the way Kari! Hugs, C

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    1. I love this, Cheryl. I think I’ve wondered the same thing after all these years of blogging — does any of this matter? But maybe we aren’t always meant to see the impact of what we leave behind. I love the idea of future generations reading our words and getting a glimpse of who we were, what we loved, and what mattered to us. Maybe that’s part of the gift of writing — leaving little pieces of ourselves for someone to find someday.

      I hope you have a smooth colonoscopy (and enjoy that wonderful sleep!). Keep traveling, keep noticing, and keep sharing your lanterns. 💜

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  11. Sometimes I offer help to a homeless person by way of food, i don’t carry cash on me. So far, only once has someone accepted a food handout. Usually I get rude “I’d rather have cash responses”

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    1. I think it’s wonderful that you’re looking for ways to help. Homelessness is such a complicated issue, and every person’s situation is different. I appreciate the kindness behind wanting to make a difference.

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  12. An awake colonoscopy? Never, ever for me! In fact, pretty much ANY medical procedure, I’d prefer to be practically unconscious, lol. I don’t give money to people at intersections or anyone on the streets, but I do offer to buy food if I’m able (near a restaurant or a store).I had spiral perms, too – and my hair was long! I look back on those photos and laugh my butt off.Can’t bring up the Tik Tok video on my laptop or my phone. (Maybe cuz I don’t have the app?)I’m not a dessert-in-restaurants eater. Unless at a fancy place for my bday or anniversary and the place is known for exceptional desserts. Last time I did that was a couple of years ago on our anniversary. We went to an Italian restaurant in Chicago and I had the flourless chocolate cake for dessert. It was worth every bite!Little lanterns everywhere….xoxo

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    1. I found this out while at Mike’s colonoscopy and talking to his nurse. She said some people don’t have a ride home, so they can’t be anesthetized. I guess it isn’t painful, just a lot of uncomfortable noises. 🤣 I also prefer to be practically unconscious. The best sleep ever.

      My TikTok wasn’t working for me as well, but as long as you can see the words on the screen, that’s all that matters. You’re only missing the music.

      Ooh, flourless cake. That sounds very worth it!

      Little lanterns everywhere. I love that. 🏮

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  17. Your metaphor of lanterns is beautiful and poignant. There is real poetry there.

    I always wanted a spiral perm, but I saw a few Gone Wrong, and they always served as a sort of black box warning for me. Straight-haired girls often covet the natural curls and vice versa.

    President A Lincoln and Mary Lincoln have been a longtime obsession of mine. I’ve read so, so many good books about them, and I was a frequent visitor to Gettysburg in my early days. I went on a solo trip to tour The Mary Todd House in Kentucky, too. Poor Mary Lincoln, so reviled and misunderstood; I once wrote an entire<a href=”https://deptofnance.blogspot.com/2008/04/my-latest-obsession-i-stand-up-for-mary.html“> blog post</a> to defend her.

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    2. Thank you, Nance. 💜

      I always wanted them too, which is why I got so many. But my hair was always so thick that they wouldn’t take the first time. I had to have my hair treated in my early twenties because of all the damage perms and color treatments had done to it in the 80s.

      I feel so aligned with Mary Todd Lincoln. I’m heading to read your post now. Thank you for sharing it!

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  18. It seems to take a while for me to comment because your posts are long and I want to have the time to just read and enjoy. 😊. ALWAYS save room for dessert! Sometimes I eat light if the place has great desserts – just makes sense.

    The only people with buckets I ever give to are in my own town – fire dept., rescue squad, State underwater rescue – they’re neighbors, and you can’t go wrong.

    We can never know how – or how much – what we do might strike a chord with another, or be just what another needs to hear. That’s why we put it out there. We light the way, and who finds/needs the path, follows. Right there with you. Let’s keep lighting the way. ❤️❤️

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    1. I love that you take the time. This means so much to me. Thank you for saying this. 💜

      Always! And I am the same way – I eat lighter if they have really good desserts.

      I love this so much. You’re right—we never know what someone might need to hear or when they’ll find it. I’m grateful we get to keep putting our words out there and lighting the way together. 💜

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  19. Why did I know that Christopher Knight has a furniture line? Also, why can’t we enjoy a Pork Chop in this house without impersonating Peter Brady, impersonating Humprhy Bogart, saying, “Pork chops and applesauce”?

    I love the lanterns thought — we (you) never know what will resonate or stick with someone. Could be funny, could be sad, could be helpful, and we might never know.

    I used to GIVE spiral perms and get them too—-I can still smell the chemicals. What were we thinking? Funny about Kohl’s having a hair salon. I think JCPenney still has one, although I’ve not been in a JCPenney in about ten years.

    Kari, I never ever leave room for dessert. It’s not that I’m trying to deprive myself; I’m just not a dessert kind of gal. (Maybe I’m already too sweet? HA!)

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    1. SAME HERE! Every time I have pork chops, I have a stim and say that line over and over. 🤣

      I can only imagine having to work a shift with all of those smells—especially back in the 80s when perms were all the rage. How did you not have a migraine every day??

      That’s a good line! I’ll eat yours. 😘💜

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  20. I’m always willing to eat dessert even if I haven’t left room for it. Very true. My mom and I once when to the Bakers Square across from Red Top Plaza, I know you know, and a girl I went to high school with took our order. Then she sort of stood there and talked at us while we ate. I wasn’t a fan. She sort of took the fun out of our dessert, so we both ordered another piece of pie to eat without her standing there. It makes me laugh now to think of it.

    Speaking of our neck of the woods, I got my first and only prom at the Main Street on Milwaukee in Vernon Hills. My hair was too short and what did I think – that my hair was gonna be LONGER once it was permed? I dunno, but I came out of there looking like I’d morphed into my grandma. The woman used tiny perm rods. It was horrid, esp because I had curly hair but knew nothing about product.

    I laughed at the speed bump thought. So true.

    I love your lantern leaving mindset. So sweet.

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    1. I love this story! My mom and I would do this exact same thing. 🤣

      OMG, I’m laughing because I got a perm when I was in junior high, and the exact same thing happened to me. I had short hair, and I ended up looking like a grandma too. Gen X seriously lacked hair guidance when we were growing up! 🤣

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  21. My Mum always had a seriously noisy garden as her bird feeding game was strong. The noise of them used to interrupt phone calls if I was making them in the garden!

    We get good bird sounds here too as it’s quiet and there’s no major roads or aircraft noise most of the time. I’ve not tried recording it, but just listening one afternoon, I began to hear the different structure of the sounds which was fascinating.

    Almost no-one I know in real life reads my blog, but I still love your closing sentence: “Maybe we’re all leaving lanterns behind in ways we don’t even realize.” I’d love to think that’s what I’m doing too, but there’s no doubting that you are 💕

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    1. I smiled reading this. I love that you noticed the different layers in the birdsong. It’s amazing what we hear once we slow down long enough to listen.

      And thank you for what you said about the lanterns. 💕

      That sentence came to me at the very end, and I almost deleted it. I’m really glad I didn’t.

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  22. I truly hope we all are leaving lanterns behind us as we walk this path called life.
    When things get tough with teaching, I need to remember that.
    Bird song is exquisite in NJ. In the mornings, robins and always one or two mourning doves, in the evening add in the cicadas. Italy has MAJOR cicada sounds, they were like a rocket ready to take off!

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    1. I think teaching is one of those places where you probably leave more lanterns than you realize, even on the hard days.

      There is something so comforting about the familiar sounds of home. Mourning doves always feel especially peaceful to me.

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  23. Cosmically delayed comment.

    This morning I woke up too early and made a simple note to put at the top of my home page “Things I do not want to forget”. With that captured, I went back to sleep.

    After updating said home page, I felt overdue to share a link and dug into my folder of things saved to relish with full attention. This post was there, and I’m sure it’s because your why resonated deeply. But I laughed at the simple twist of phrase that I likely subconsciously lifted. (Apologies for that.)

    I used to think of posts like breadcrumbs, but little lanterns is a lovely visual. Thanks for keeping a path lit.

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    1. Cosmically delayed comments are always welcome. I love that this one found its way here when it did. 💜

      I love that you used to think of posts as breadcrumbs. I think breadcrumbs and lanterns are pretty good companions. Sometimes we leave something behind to help someone find their way, and sometimes we leave a little light for someone who already knows the path but needs a bit of illumination along the way.

      Thank you for coming back to this one and for sharing that with me. I love knowing it resonated with you.

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  24. I love your phrasing in the idea that we’re always leaving little lanterns.

    I think from the moment we walk in a room, we can make memories in others’ minds: with the way we say hello, with the energy we bring, with the way we speak and chat and think and dream. We can do so with writing, too. This is one of the great joys of writing on the web.

    ~ a writer in Scotland :)

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    1. James, I love this so much. I’ve never thought about it quite that way, but you’re right. Sometimes we have no idea who will find them or when they might need a little light.

      And I think that’s one of the things I love most about writing on the web. We put our words out into the world without knowing where they’ll land. Then, years later, someone tells us that something we wrote mattered to them. That feels a little bit magical to me.

      Thank you for putting this into words so beautifully. And hello to Scotland! :)

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